


Of cave and Illusion

by Keisuke_AKM



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Akito/Yuki friendship, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Beta Read, OOC, Plot starting because of flowers, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Spoilers, another universe, english is not my first language, hidden identity, unimportant ocs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2020-10-25 11:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 171,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keisuke_AKM/pseuds/Keisuke_AKM
Summary: The sun goddess had been locked in the cavern, privating the world of her light. And the dog keep running after the illusion of that missing sun.Basically an AU ‘what if’ story where Akira died much earlier and Ren took the regence of the Sohma family and locked Akito away since her chilhood and did not allow the others cursed to meet her.





	1. Prologue

_“This is crazy” she whispered loud enough so only him could hear. He tightened his hold on her hand. “What, you prefer coming back there?” he asked, not turning back. He did not need to. He already knew what kind of face she was doing. “They’re going to search for me…What if they find us?” she grasped his arm with her other hand, as if he could disappear if she stopped touching him. “They won’t, trust me.” He said, looking right in front of him with determined eyes. “Believe me, they won’t find us…” because if they did, all would be over._

_She bit in lips in worry._ ‘_I hope too…’_

* * *

The head maid, an old brunette invited Kazuma to come in. The man bowed and made a few steps to the center of the room, then he kneeled down and bowed in front to the paravent hiding the chief of the family appearance. Kazuma tried to not roll his eyes over this masquerade that was up for already more than twenty years.

“Which is the reason you asked my presence for, Kazuma Shihan?” asked the person behind the paravent in a low voice, almost a whisper. “Well…Akito-sama, I am here for a request.” Kazuma saw the shadow of a head tilting. “What kind of request? It is about the cursed?”

“It’s related indeed…” he heard the chief shift, the noise of his kimono brushing against the pile of layers he was wearing. He continued. “You see…There is an orphan I’d like to take in my house. She is one of Yuki-kun classmate…She already found out about the curse.” He heard the person on the other side of the room hold their breath. “I see…” there was a moment of silence where Kazuma feared that Akito refused to let the girl live in the Sohma estate and would order instead Hatori to erase her memories.

Kazuma couldn’t tell anything about the chief of the clan, nobody knows that kind of person he was. And that made Kazuma anxious, it’s hard to fight against an unknow enemy. “Don’t she have a family to be in instead of here?” Asked Akito. Kazuma shook his head. “No, Yuki found her under a tent when he was making his usual walk in the Sohma’s field.” He explained “However she lost everything because of a landslide, you probably remember the storm, master Akito.” Said Kazuma. A quiet hum could be heard from the shadow in front of him. “I see…”

There was another moment of silence. Kazuma really became fond of the girl Tohru and wished she could live here. She was kind and understanding. He felt it was a kind of girl that the cursed needed to meet, especially Kyo. But he had to ask for the chief of clan permission for it to be possible.

“If Yuki saw no problem with her living with you, then let it be. I trust his judgement.” The chief told suddenly, making Kazuma jolt in surprise as he was into his thoughts. “However, at the first inconvenience, I will order Hatori to erase her memories.” Kazuma exhaled, relieved. He felt like the weight on his shoulders disappeared. He bowed, to show his gratefulness and respect to the Chief and Akito made a gesture of hand visible from behind the paravent, indicating his permission to Kazuma to leave the room. The man stood up and bowed his head before opening the fusuma doors and getting out of the room. He had good news to tell.

He walked over the Sohma’s estate until his dojo. On the way, he saw the young cursed Hiro and Kisa playing with sticks. They were having fun until maids came to scold them. Kazuma stopped to watch Hiro and the domestic arguing against each other. He never liked the servants of the Sohma’s house, not since the new chief was born. He remembered when he was young, very young that the spirit of the rabbit and the cat was still haunting their previous vessel. The twelve were praised and treated like saints, they lived as the elite of the family. However, when Akito was born or more like, when Akira died. All the oldest servants have been fired and their memories erased. Those new servants were...vile with the cursed. Always ready to harass or badmouth on them, whispering sickening words that made their ways into the cursed's head like a mantra. All the family was treating them as if they were only animals. Kazuma almost felt the need to interfere between Hiro and the shouting maid, but it looked useless, Hiro was strong enough to defend himself and Kisa from the servants. The kid was good.

Kazuma passed his way and continued to walk until arriving to his dojo. He changed his shoes in the_ gekan_ and walked into the living room where Yuki and Tohru were waiting for him. Kazuma was already taking care of two cursed, so taking in a young and gentle girl like Tohru will ease his work on raising the two boys. He had taken Yuki under his wing a few years after he adopted Kyo, in hope to reconcile the Mouse and the Cat. However, it hasn’t show results yet, maybe Tohru will be the one to change it. 

The girl stood up as Kazuma entered the room and twisted her fingers anxiously. Yuki merely lifted his head up. “Akito-san accepted to let you in as long as you can keep the secret” he smiled and the girl let out a breath she had been holding since Kazuma was back. Yuki rose up and put a hand on Tohru’s shoulder. “I told you Akito would accept, he is not a bad person.” He said softly before sharing a regard with the man. Yuki was one of the few chosen to had the chance to see Akito. From what Yuki was saying about his relationship with the head of family, he and Yuki were good friends, but they couldn’t stay together for too long. It was order. And since high school started, Yuki barely saw him anymore, lack of time.

Yuki bowed and headed to his room. “Sound like you were stressed, Honda-san.” Tohru jolted and looked down. “It’s because…I did not want to forget you all…You already helped me so much.” Kazuma smiled. “It’s understandable. So, Yuki told you about what happened in his childhood with his friends? When their memories have been erased?” Tohru nodded “Don’t worry, the circumstance where different and that’s why Yuki told you to not worry.” He sat and invited Tohru to do so. “I will show you your room later and Yuki will be happy to show you around the Sohma’s estate. It’s pretty big and easy to get lost in.” Tohru nodded even more vividly.

“Yes, I maybe I should thank Akito-san to allow me to live you with you” she added. Kazuma’s smile went down and he looked down to the wooden table. “I don’t think this will be possible…You see, nobody ever saw him.” She blinked in confusion. “But…Yuki-kun told me he is friend with him?” Kazuma scratched his neck. “Only a few chosen people saw Akito, those people are Yuki and two others cursed. Sohma Hatori the dragon, who is the Sohma’s doctor and Sohma Kureno, the rooster. But nobody else ever saw Akito in my knowledge.”

Tohru eyes went full before she down her head. She imagined what kind of lonely life this person was living “It’s…sad…Why it is that way?” she asked with concern. Kazuma lifted his head up and looked at the ceiling in thought. “I don’t know. Maybe he is like Amaterasu.” She tilted her head and repeated the name of the goddess, confused. “I think I need to tell you more about the curse, Honda-san.” A disciple walked into the room. They respectfully bowed and put on the table cups of green tea for his master and the girl before leaving in silence. Kazuma take a sip of the hot drink, taking a moment to sip it, making sure nobody else would come into the room. “Tell me Honda-san. What do you know about the story of the zodiac?”

“Ah, yes, my mom used to tell me about it when I was young” she lifted one finger in the air. “A long, long time ago god told the animals “tomorrow I’ll invite you to my banquet. You must not be late.” The rat, after hearing the new told to his neighbor the cat that the banquet was the day after. And so, when the day of the banquet arrived, the rat rode on the ox back and arrived first, then he was followed by the eleven other zodiacs animals. However, the cat who have been deceived did not come to the banquet.” She recited, like a poem before blushing when she noticed that the master was staring at her. “I am wrong? I’m sorry if it’s the case…”

“No, no, it’s indeed how the tale come” Kazuma reassured. “So, can you tell how many characters there are in this story?” Tohru started to count on her fingers, deep in thought. “Well, the twelve zodiacs…Plus the cat. It’s thirteen…Oh! Is Akito-san the cat? That’s why he is forced to stay away?” she asked with apparent sadness. “I always wanted to be the cat because I found unfair the way he has been fooled by the rat…” Now, Tohru really wanted to meet Akito, to make up a kind of justice for the cat of her childhood.

“Oh, no…There is indeed a cat. His name is Kyo. He is in the mountain right now, but he will come back in a few days.” Explained Kazuma, he was with Kyo but he had to come back earlier to manage the problem with Tohru. Yuki had called him, panicked, explaining him that Tohru had ended up in his arms when she was in high spirit because of her fever. “He lives here too. Actually, he is like my son, so I hope that you will get along” he smiled as Tohru listened with attention. She was so happy to have the chance to be able to meet the cat. However, she remembered the main subject. “But…What about Akito-san?” She frowned. 'Kazuma have talked about Amaterasu…A god?'

Then in a flash, she understood. “Akito-san is the god of the tale!” she put her hand on her mouth as Kazuma nodded. “Indeed, Akito is cursed by the spirit of the god” And like Amaterasu, the god was hidden in a cave where nobody could see him. Depriving the world from the light. Depriving the cursed from their god.

Kazuma never knew if it was traditional, none of the people of the previous generation have been cursed by the god. But he could see by the way Yuki and the others cursed were acting that they were missing their god. Deep down, they were always thinking about that person they never met and they desire to. The bound between all the cursed was unimaginable for the mere humans. It was something specials. That’s why during Yuki childhood, the other cursed hated him to be the only one allowed to be with him. But then, the bird and the dragon rejoined the chosen, and cursed hatred toward Yuki stopped and instead, after apologizing, they asked him question. They asked how was their god, what kind of people they were, and how Yuki reacted the first time he saw him.

They were all suffering from this divine absence. And out of all the people in this misery, there were the faithful dog, always chasing after the sun.

* * *

_They zigzagged hand in the hand in the crowd, trying to avoid touching the people. She was not used to density. It made her suffocate. Noticing her uneasiness, he pulled her toward an isolated pillar. “You’re okay?” he asked, touching her red cheeks with his both hands. She nodded, catching her breath. He kissed the top of her head. “In a few hours it will be over.” She made a gesture of the head as she grasped his hand. _

_He pulled her closer and hugged her. The fact that they almost reached their goals made him shiver, thrilled. And he knew that even if she was anxious of doing it, he was feeling the same. They had too few to lose for too much to win. Neither of them will regret what they were doing right now. _

_He hugged her closer one last time before stepping back, hands on her shoulders. “We should go now…” She looked at him and smiled, unsure. He took her hand and walked, trying to find the way. They tried to walk between people. If he hadn’t been here, she knew without a doubt that she would have been lost. A man in uniform stopped them and she felt a cold sweat forming in her back. She tightened her grip on his hand, in case that man tried to separate them. “Your tickets please” he said. _

_She saw him let her hand go with anguish. He rummaged the pocket in the interior of his vest and handed the two tickets. The man quickly read and gave them back. “Have a good trip, mister Sohma, Miss Honda.” The man bowed his head then passed across to continue to control people, leaving them. She felt like she could breathe again and he kissed her knuckles. “Let’s go, okay?”_

_She nodded and followed his lead._


	2. Chapter 1

Kureno knocked on the wooden part of the shoji doors. “Akito? Can I come in?” there were a moment of silence before he could hear a faint yes. He slid the door with one hand before closing it behind him. “I bought crisps for you when I was out, your favorite.” He said in a smile. He liked going at that combini lately. He really liked the quality of the cashier here, she was cute. Akito barely lifted her head from her arms to study him before putting it down. She was slumped on the table.

Being with Akito pained him, because he knew the main reason of why he was allowed to be with her was to hurt her with his existence. People often though that Akito was the chief of the clan, they were wrong. She was only in name, as proof, she could only manage what Ren let her to. To give example, it was thanks to Akito that Yuki have been able to go in an all school. Kureno know that the friendship between Yuki and Akito shared was the most important for her. He also knew that even if he was not cursed anymore, Akito still considered him like a friend. Even if he was under Ren’s orders.

Kureno hated the bitter taste of irony of the situation. Being allowed to be with the god you always longed to see only when the curse had broken free. The day it happened, he cried in loss and without thinking, he had run to the family’s head quarters. Maybe it was in the memory of the bird he always lived with, he tried to fulfil his only wish to see its god one last time. He had been really rough to the servants working there, he pushed them brutally off his way as he ran to met the god. He wondered why any of the cursed tried to force their way before but he remembered if they had, it would had hurt their goddess.

As the servants were trying to hold him back by gripping him firmly by his gakuran, he had put all his strength to open the last fusuma door that separated him from her. It was only when he succeeds to open that he felt the servant’s grips disappear. The little girl in the room was crying as much as he was, however she did not know who he was. Such a pitiful sight. _“The curse it…”_ he whispered between two sobs and Akito's big eyes widened in pain. She had rushed to him, her hands taking a hold of his vest and she cried even more. Kureno could not understand a word of what she was saying, but they still hugged each other in loss of the bond.

_“I don’t know why it happened_…” he tried to explain between his cries while the little girl wailed. Kureno could only imagine how bad her pain was, her tears were unstoppable and she was now breathing hardly, spasming in pain. They only raised their heads in surprise when they heard the sudden noise of the fusuma doors closing. He felt Akito’s body freeze as they both recognized the person who just walked in, Ren Sohma. He could tell without a doubt that none of the zodiacs of his age liked the woman. She was the one responsible of all the resentment they felt, locking away from them their god.

The previous chief of the clan, Akira Sohma, always had a frail body and a terrible health. He just had the time to produce an heir for the family before he died from sickness, two months after Akito's birth, leaving Ren and the baby alone. The woman became the regent until Akito would be old enough. However, she decided that none of the cursed could met the god._ “If your bond is that strong, you won’t need to” _she had explained with regality to the cursed who were asking for their goddess. Some executed the order, like he and Hatori. But other like Shigure, was always trying to get into the house. Each time, Shigure ended up punished by the servants. Ren, in repercussion changed the privilege of the family of the cursed, taking away from the cursed family their monthly income helps and shaming them to had given birth to such monsters.

And Kureno wouldn’t imagine what Akito lived, alone with Ren here. The shivering coming from the girl frails body indicated that she had not been exempted from the bad treatment because she was her daughter. He held the little girl closer, as to protect her. Ren tilted her head, her bangs hiding her eyes. She had a crooked smile_ “So…The curse broken away.” _She walked in_ “What a shame my poor son, that you could only meet the rooster once he broken free.” _She bent down and grasped his daughter arm, planting her nails into her skin through her white kimono and pulled her roughly from Kureno hold. The crying girl screamed in pain and Ren slapped her, telling her to shut up.

Kureno wanted to separate them and take the girl away, but he was scared of what this wicked woman would do. “_Please…Stop” _he breathed. His eyes full in horror. Ren turned her head toward the ex-rooster, as if she noticed her presence only now. She took a step and he slid away until his back touched the wall_. “Do you want to say something? Because, I don’t think you have any right to do so, since you’re not cursed anymore, don’t you think my son?” _she slowly faced the hiccupping girl who had a red mark of a palm on her cheek.

Akito said nothing, what could say a child in this situation. She was confused and in pain. So, she just downed her head._ “I…” _he said, taking his courage in hands, thinking quickly. _“Since I’m not cursed anymore…I can…Stay with her?” _Ren eyes widened as if a second head grown out. She opened her mouth to said something but she closed it after a second, realization flashed in her eye and a smile slowly showed on her feature._ “Oh, yes what a great idea…” _She bent down to his level and put her hands on his shoulder._ “Yes... Stay with her. I will even allow you to act as his guardian. You will live here, what a lucky guy. Even the rat did not have this chance, and they both begged. Remember Akito_?” Ren caressed his cheek with her nails._ “They cried so much, so pathetic. And you know, that rat’s mother even tried to sold us his son, but I did not give in. Oh no, we shouldn’t spoil too much a god, right? He could become really capricious.” _

_“No, but…I think you could be useful. My son is starting to grow and Yuki can’t be here with him anymore too. And…” _she raised up, glancing at the other side of the room. _“You will be the best reminder for him that the curse is an illusion. In exchange, we will keep the secret that you’re not cursed anymore, little sparrow”_

Kureno was disgusted by how much Ren was so cruel to Akito. However, after living with the girl, he learnt to know her and he saw part of her nature he never suspected the day the curse broke. He saw that she had fire and anger in her eyes, she was not a submissive person, but for Ren. She had raised the girl that way, shaped her so she would submit to her, she had traumatized her daughter well enough for it. But actually, Akito was more an impatient person. Often angry but mostly lonely. Not that Kureno could have knew it day one.

Indeed, since he was with her because of Ren’s order, she hardly trust him at first. The day after he had been allowed into the chief of clan quarters, he tried to talk with the little girl. He wanted to tell so much, but at the same time, since there was no more bond between them, it felt useless. So that day, they stayed into an uncomfortable silence. Each of them at the opposite side of the room. Akito sending him glare. First contacts have been catastrophic. It was like the little crying girl he had saw the first time had disappeared for a hard shell. _“You can trust me Akito-san”_ he had said _“I’m here to talk with you.”_

_“So you could repeat to my mother.”_ She sharply answered, on her guards. Kureno went home that day frustrated. But he did not give up, because each night that vision of this little girl in tears haunted his dreams, always waking him up with cold sweat on the back. He continued everyday and each time, Akito had only stared at him. It had changed when one day, he arrived in the Livingroom and saw her talking vividly with Yuki. She was asking him about school and the twelves. He saw the two of them playing with cards and he saw what kind of bad player she was, grumpy if she loose or shamelessly proud if she won. Yuki however did not hesitate to tease her to calm her down if she crossed the line_. “Yuki can’t you stop coughing?!” _She had said, visibly upset. Yuki coughed one more time, making her click her tongue before answering _“I have asthma, I can’t help it, but if you’re not happy, I can go.”_ He started to stand up and she took his sleeve to kept him her. She did not apologize, but she stopped complaining and they resumed their games.

Later, when Kureno asked Yuki how he managed to be close to Akito, he shrugged simply _“I don’t know? He just listens me?”_ He smiled respectably _“Just treat him normally, I know it’s a bit hard because of the bond, but it’s easy to understand him.”_ But Kureno did not know how to treat normally a little girl forced to act like a man, brutalized by her mother and with the power of a god. He wondered if the young rat was aware about Ren’s mistreatments of Akito. But since that day, he tried to change his positions. He decided to be more straightforward, it was not in his habits, but he really wanted the girl to allow him into her cocoon.

So, the tried to bait her with food. First hard candy, then instant foods or snacks. Kureno was relieved to see that she indeed, out by curiosity, she started to open up. They had discussion, and Kureno told her about the outside, she was listening him but she still remained vigilant. Akito did not had any preceptor, Ren just forced her to learnt kanjis and the basic of science or history, all her classes were done through correspondence. So, she had been curious about the different subject he was studying in class_. “Literature is interesting, but I really don’t like math, why don’t you do your history homework?”_ she scolded once. It made him laugh and, in a way, melancholic. He knew that she was just a lonely, sheltered girl, he understood that day how to act with her.

He noticed the progress he had done when she started to grip the bottom of his vest and begged him to stay with her. Or when she was following him like a duckling in her house_. “Since you’re here…Everyday is less boring.”_ She said, blushing in embarrassment, like this simple truth from a friend to a friend should be something shameful. Kureno had patted her head and promised to always stay with her as long as she needed him. The day after, she had pulled him to her closet. _“Because you’re my friend, I want to show you something”_ She had said. Kureno was so happy she trusted him.

They crouched next to it, she rummaged around in the wardrobe until she found a little box. She stared at him for a moment and handed it to him. Her treasure box. It was a secret she kept from Ren, hiding in her deepest part of her closet, it was something she must have hid for years, judging the state of the paper box. He studied it until Akito had enough of waiting and took the box off his hands and opened it for him. There were a few trinkets in. Like toys she got from the candy bags he had brought for her or tiny figures of mascots. He recognized the deck of card that Yuki gave her, and under it, papers. Kureno tried to take them _“What are those?”_ he asked, curious, however Akito did not answered and instead, took the papers out of hands, shielding it. He made a gesture of apologize of instead took a necklace that was at the bottom of the box. _“One of the maids forget it in my room when she cleaned it…it’s pretty so I kept it.”_ She explained, more relaxed now that the attention was not on the papers anymore_. “A pretty necklace for a pretty girl, isn’t?”_ he smiled. Akito eyes went full. _“Who are you calling a girl?”_ she said strongly.

He had blinked, confused. _“Well…You are?”_ he answered and she started to scream ‘I’m not a girl!’, to punch him, then she threw him out of her room, leaving the high schooler very confused in the hallway. She came back later to fetch him. They never talked about her gender until the day she had her first period. It was his first night out. He had consoled her until she stopped crying_. “I don’t want to be like her”_ she said between sobs. Kureno held her closer in the futon _“Akito…You doesn’t have to be like Ren, you just can be Akito, a cute little girl”_ he dried her tears with his thumbs and promised her to never leave her side and she gripped his pajama hard until she fell asleep.

The next day, when he came to see her after school, she had bruises all over her body, however, Kureno saw a fire in her black eyes that he never saw before. He moved in her house two months after. He said to Ren it was in aim to watch Akito more closely so she could become the future man heading this family. It had charmed Ren well enough to be accepted. It was starting this day that all the relation he had with the other twelve cursed ceased. During the next year banquet, he sat next to Akito behind the paravent and prevented any other cursed to interact with her. From far, he was saw as Ren subordinate, but in reality, he was protecting Akito from her.

And this little girl he protected had grown into a woman. A lonely, sheltered woman who know the outside world only by story he and Yuki told her or books she read. Ren had forced her into a diet since her femininity started showing, making her body sickly slim and Hatori became his doctor. Akito have been overjoyed by meeting her dragon and she couldn’t stop talking about Hatori to Kureno. He had been somehow jealous of how easily the girl had trusted the dragon. Then, he understood that it was the bond that made it possible. This link between the god and the animals was so special and Kureno was out of it. He wished about a world where Akira hadn’t died so early so he could have prevented Ren to play with the bonds linking the cursed.

It was miserable sight. Seeing a woman who passed her whole life enclosed in her house. Since she reached the great age of twenty, she had tried to take back some power as the real chief of the Sohma clan. But Akito was too scared of Ren to ask for more than the woman allowed her to. So, she could only take care of the basics, mainly the cursed matters. Affairs not important enough for Ren. It’s was only because of Akito was the one in charge of the twelve that Yuki and Kyo had accessed to the mixed school of their choices or the cursed parents had the cursed income back. Kureno tried to schedule some meetings behind Ren’s back so Akito could slowly take the lead back. But the results weren’t present. But, even if it absorbed her mind for a few hours in weeks, her depression and anger toward the world was growing more and more. And Kureno knew she kept in all of it in her mind while she was slumped on the same table, every day.

That’s maybe the daily view of her unmoving on that table that decided Kureno that day. He had gulped, unsure, but seeing her depraving every day since he was fifteen pained him. _“Akito…”_ he said lowly, he had kneeled next to her and she shifted to him. He hesitated, it was a bad idea, the risks were too high, what would happen if Ren come to know it. But…He couldn’t handle to see her in that sorrowful state anymore_. “Hey…Do you want to go out?”_

He had said to himself that it was only for a day. A little error that he won’t do again. But when he saw her bright and genuine smile as she pointed a statue in the park, illuminated by the sun, he knew that he couldn’t turn back. In one afternoon, she had played so much with the birds pecking the foods or with the water of fountains, almost making up for her lost childhood. She had tried to run in the path, but Kureno had to stop her before she crashes into somebody. Instead, he took her away, near to a food trunk. She had made a curious look by seeing food she never tasted before and he couldn’t refuse her pleading eyes when she asked him to buy a crepe.

As she had eaten the cream in the crepe, she looked at the people walking in back and forth in that place. Kureno could saw in her eyes that she envied the children playing, the couples cuddling and the teenagers in uniforms walking back home. Their skirts and breasts and then she had turned back to him with sadness in the eyes. He tried to imagine her instead with a bright smile in a white summer dress. She would have been really cute, but it was an illusion from a man wanting to see his friend, the girl he decided to protect, happy. 

When it was time to go back to the main mansion, even if she showed nothing, Kureno had saw the despair in her eyes when he accompanied her back to her golden cage. She had locked herself in her dark room and wouldn’t go out for weeks. Hatori had even wondered about talking with Ren about anti-depressors as he examined the girl.

Kureno was starting to get tired for the sensation to be useless, unable to help this poor girl who had been out of her room only once and who was a mess of emotions because of the bonds she held with the cursed. He knew he was the representation that this link, the deep and raw emotions she was feeling, all of it, were bound to fail. He cared so much for her and he just wanted her to be happy. So, when he couldn’t bear to see her even more depressed than before, he decided to take her out again. _“It’s a secret between the two of us”_ he had said, the finger up with a serious face_. “I can’t be with you each time, So I will be you alibi when you’re out.” _He explained and she listened with attention, as if she was risking her own life. _“I will give you a phone, there is only my number in. If you have any trouble, call me without hesitation.”_ She took the cellular and held it against her chest, like a treasure. He continued _“You can walk where you want, but I prefer you to stay near of the park. Of course, I will get you at five of the afternoons.”_ She hugged him, surprising him in a such act of affection. _“Akito, I'm not finished yet”_ he lifted her head_. “The only day you can go is the Wednesday”_ he said. It was the day Ren and her closest servants were out for business, it was the only day the guard in the quarters was low. It was something that couldn’t miss since he was a teenager_. “This is a secret Akito, you can tell nobody about it, not even Yuki, not even Hatori, I am clear?”_ and she promised, without a second thought _“Let be yourself during those time okay?”_ they shared a smile full of emotions. To celebrate this accord, he had bought her a white dress, a similar one he pictured her to wear the first day he had brought her in the parc. He hoped to met one day this happy Akito he imagined, and that she would wear this cute dress. She had been startled by the feminine gift. She accepted it, but she never wore it. It saddened Kureno, but he said nothing. Their habits of the Wednesday have been already established.

Kureno closed his eyes and sat in front of Akito, putting the bag of snack next to her head. She merely looked at it and instead, she picked the sleeve of his clothe and looked at him with a small frown. “Kureno…What day are we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !! Thank you for reading the prologue and the first chapter Of cave and Illusion, it's a fanfic i'm working on since august. I'm putting my heart into it! I hope my writing is not too confusing...  
As people had noticed, it's an AU, so the characters will be out of character. For exemple Yuki is very friendly with Akito since she never had the chance of traumatizing him. He lives with Kyo at Kazuma's. Shigure had never slept with Ren, so he still live in the Sohma's estate and Hatori still have both of his eyes.  
I hope you will all like this fanfic even if things are differents!!  
Anyway! Don't forget to comments or kudos if you liked it!!


	3. Chapter 2

_He searched in hurry in his drawer for a morning after-pill. Hatori always kept some in his office. It wasn’t rare to have young Sohma girls coming for him and asking for help after an accident. But here, the situation was too serious for him. _

_“Haa-san, what’s the urge” called his best friend who followed after him. “What’s that phone call what about?” asked Shigure with concern. Of course he was concerned, it wasn’t every day that he saw the doctor lose his cool. “Kureno just called me.” He simply explained, still in research for the pill. Shigure eyes widened, if Kureno called Hatori, it could only be about Akito. The dog felt his blood boil. “Something happened to her?” his tone of voice was unhabitual, full of worry. If something happened to her, Shigure did not know what he would do. She was the one haunting all his dreams. _

_“Pipe it down Shigure, you’re not helping me!” groaned Hatori still trying to put a hand on the damned pill. “What are you looking for?” he asked, wanting to help and without thinking, Shigure was taking files and boxes that were lying around on the desk, not even know what was searching the doctor. “Here it is!” said Hatori, relived and showing the pill. Shigure blinked, the folders still in his hand. _

_“Morning after-pill. Akito had her first time and she had been uncareful. Thank god Kureno was here to call me after” Said Hatori, not aware he had had just broken the other man heart until he heard the loud sound of pile of files fell on the floor. The doctor looked at his best friend confused. He never saw this expression on the man before and it was sick._

_“What did you said?” he said in a broken voice._

* * *

Shigure groaned when Hatori opened suddenly the window's curtain, the sunshine light waking him up instantaneously. He draped his arm across his face and hid it in the crook of his arm to groan even more. “Wake up sleeping beauty” said his friend sarcastically. “Haa-san, you’re so mean, I was having the best dream!” whined Shigure in a small voice, still emerging. “How came you always come to my practice to sleep? Don’t you have a house?” asked the dragon, ignoring his friend plaint. Shigure merely looked aside without answering his question. Hatori rolled his eyes and walked to his desk, looking at his patient's files. Shigure went to sit just at the other side of the desk, with a meaningful smirk. “What’s up, doc?” he merely stared at him. “Nothing for you to know” the dragon dropped his eyes to read the health file of his first today patient.

“Come on~ as a doctor, you always know what’s up in our big family” he laughed and Hatori inhaled to keep his calm. “Shigure, as a doctor, I had to respect what’s called the patient confidentiality.” said Hatori as Shigure made a dramatical pout. They both knew he was just here for one person, he only one he ever cared for. “Shigure, I did not see Akito this week yet, so it’s useless to query me.” He simply said.

“Pff, you’re making soud like it’s the only reason I came for! I do care about all members of our family and your well-being too Haa-san, I’m wounded.” Hatori scoffed and stood up to serves himself a tea. He was used to have the cursed questioning him about their god. But he felt like encouraging Shigure in his quest in owning the goddess if he told him more than needed. He liked to compare his friend with a mad dog chasing after the sun, aiming an unreachable dream. He did not like seeing his friend hurt by the strong feeling he held for Akito. Hatori never forgotten Shigure anger and sadness when he told him by accident that she had her first sexual intercourse. He never realized how serious Shigure was about the girl before this day. Hatori had always thought that his feeling of love for Akito was the same for every cursed, but he has been wrong, so _wrong._

“Shigure…Why don’t you give up?” Shigure stopped smiling, they were going to have this conversation again. “I mean, you never met her, aren't you just projecting your feeling coming from the curse.” Shigure simply put his chin on his hand. Shigure did not mind most of the time when Hatori lectured him because it was fair, but when he talking about this, it irritated him. He couldn’t help how he was feeling and it was not his fault. More than it, he couldn’t help but thinking it was hypocrite from Hatori to tell him about give up his feeling on somebody. He eyed silently the photo on the desk, Hatori followed his friend’s eyes before rolling them. He said nothing and exhaled instead. Shigure coughed and scratched his head sheepishly to hide his awkwardness.

His love story was plain sad. Hatori and Kana have been dating for years, she had even accepted his animal form. However, with time, Kana couldn’t handle the matters about the curse anymore and broke up with Hatori. _“I’m sorry Hatori, I really love you…But the more I think about it, the more I felt like we have no future…” _she had cried so much _“What we will say to our children, why their father can't hug them because he might transform into seahorse...I'm sorry...We are meaningless…”_. He accepted it and did not tried to held her back. However, the person holding all the powers of the clan asked Hatori to erase Kana memories. Ren had whispered in his ear that it could be too dangerous for all the curse and Akito_. “What if she repeats it, do you have the simple idea of how Akito might suffer? Do you want your god to suffer? And the others cursed? Don’t you think their life is already hard that way? You are not egoist Hatori, I know you will do the good choice.”_ He did it with endless regret.

“It’s not the same Shigure…You know it.” Said Hatori after a minute of silence. The dog eyes were locked on his hands. “It’s just…If you where to meet her, and I said if only, you should know that she won’t be what you expect her to be. And it will hurt both of you.” He put a hand on Shigure shoulder. He did not try to smash down all of his friend’s hope and dreams out of malice, he really wanted his friend to get through his love for a chimera. “Haa-san…I see her in dream every night, even if I wanted, I can’t…” said Shigure in a whisper.

Hatori frowned. He wondered why the link was so strong with him, why he had such strong and profound feeling for the girl. “Try to met new people? Distract yourself as much as you can. For starting, do your job and stop playing with your editor's nerves.” Shigure burst out. “I’m just teasing Mii-chan a bit, nothing harmful.” He made a gesture of the hand. “Shigure, she tried to hang herself on your parent’s house porch” the dog avoided his eyes. “Ahw, she did?”

“Shigure” warned Hatori, the man chuckled a last time before raising up of the chair and stretching. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not think about her, but you’re not wrong, I need to be entertained.” He walked to the entry and sat on the genkan to put his shoes, his back facing his friend. “You know Haa-san…When you became her doctor, I was so jealous I thought I was hating you.” Hatori breathed out a laugh. “Well, you weren’t the only one.” He remembered how the other cursed used to despise Yuki when he was still the only one to have the right to be with her. All of this mounted by Ren and her servants to condemn the cursed who used to be the glory of the Sohma inside family. Shigure turned back and they shared a smile before he went out. “See you next time Haa-san~” he waved with the back of his hand.

* * *

Shigure watched the people going back and forth in front of him. He always knew he was a good observer but before coming here regularly, he never thought of using it as a tool of work. And yet, thank to this way of working, he had already five books under his belt. From the plain romance light novels to horror stories. Creating stories for people he saw walking across this parc daily was funny and Shigure saw it like something really convenient. At his left, he noticed Nekoma-chan. It was how he called her, because of the cat she was keeping on leash. She had been the one from he got inspiration for one of his most successful light novels. It in, the cat she was walking was actually a reincarnation of an ancient king and he had taken up residence in her bedroom. It has been funny to write. Then he recognized the scent of miss Koiko, the heroine of his romance novel. She was recognizable by the sweetness of her perfume. In that kind of moment, being possessed by the spirit of the dog could be useful to describe different type of scents. For her, Shigure had just written how he imagined her daily life with her family and her love life with her boyfriend, it was smutty. Shigure knew that the readers like the high schoolers and he played with it. Maybe writing a sex with a character he based on a real-life in was not really ethic, but Shigure did not care much about morals or taboo. After all, he just needed to write ‘_This story is a work of pure fiction. Consequently, any resemblance to real situations or to existing or existing persons can only be fortuitous’ _and voilà! If by misfortune, somebody came to sue him, the Sohma’s money would save his butt and name, plus he would have the chance to piss off Ren for months. Shigure did not care anyway, he liked writing sex.

The pushed off these two protagonists out of his mind, they already had their shining moments. Now the work was on mister Tarou, the fat guy. The man was actually one of the gardeners of the parc. From the observation Shigure had done of him, he was grumpy man. Best stories with character like that were adventure, with the bitter, grumpy man changing at the end to be more optimistic thank to the meeting with an innocent character, mainly a child, softening his sour heart. But that was not was Shigure wanted to write, he wanted something darker. He already wrote the draft, but Shigure needed more observation. He had a shameless jubilance by the thought of Mitsuru waiting in front of his house at the Sohma estate at the same moment, she was in hope that this time, he would be here to give the draft of his new volume of _Summer-colored sigh_, a series he started to write at his debuts. It was funny how she never stopped hoping, she will never learn.

He closed his eyes in nostalgia and let his hands go under his head as he slumped on the bench. Tarou was taking his time, not that Shigure was impatient, but he wouldn’t like Mitsuru to have a flash of awareness and find him here. He really liked this place; he felt like this place was what he got the closer as a secret garden. Ironic when it was a parc in the middle of the city that a thousand of people were walking across every day. Yet, being here was agreeable, comfortable, just looking at the people from his seat. Even now, his eyes were laying on that man over here who was plucking the flowers.

He was a mysterious case where Shigure did not know yet what kind of story he could imagine about him. Shigure’s eyes always ended up on him without noticing. He was starting to get curious; this person was definitely not his type. Gender did not matter to Shigure, but he always stood for sex-appeal people, yet this boy had none. Sure, he was a beauty, even from his seat he could see his fair skin shining under the sunlight and he wondered how delicate it felt under his touch. He reminded him of a ghost, but a pretty ghost, if he were to grow his hair and wear white kimono, Shigure would have confounded him with a Yuki-Onna. But unfortunately, this guy was always wearing plain clothes, boring. Shigure scratched his cheek, how that brat was putting his others thoughts off each time he came into his vision field.

He tried to concentrate on the other people walking but every movement the pretty boy was doing were enticing him each time without a fail. He really couldn’t control it, and Shigure hated having no control, especially on himself. Shigure couldn’t even blame him, he was doing nothing but plucking flowers. It was kind of bold knowing that it was prohibited to do, if Tarou was to saw him, sugar boy will be screamed on and possibly sued. Tarou was not a kind man and if the boy where to be found red-handed, it was not going to be pretty. Yet, the boy had been doing it each time Shigure saw him. Every Wednesday without fail, he would come and walk in the parc, playing with birds and trees leaves. It doesn’t make any sense, but Shigure always ended focused on what he was doing instead of making his imagination works. No matter what Mitsuru was saying, he always done his work properly at time, he just liked teasing her.

Shigure clicked his tongue and forced himself to look away. Why should he care, he wasn’t even working on that man. He didn’t even know what kind of story could fit him, horror story? After all, with his white skin he looked like a ghost. But he was too pretty and too delicate to be harmful, so romance maybe? Shigure was not sure. He dared another look on the frail man. He was now making something that looked like a flower wreath. Shigure was not sure, he was too far and he looked way too brutal on the flowers. What a shame, they were pretty and he was completely ruining them. Shigure wondered why he was continuing to try if it was to have such an awful result, and he was spending so much energy on it. Shigure shifted his position, putting his elbow on the armrest and resting his head on his palm to spy better the boy sat on lawn. It was a cute view, even when he smashed the flower on the ground in fury, Shigure found it adorable. He almost wanted to walk over him and tease him, judging by how low was his patience, his reactions would be the best. Shigure chuckled, imagining what kind of face he would do if he tried. He hadn’t saw the frail boy from close, so he could vaguely picture his face. He imagined an Ayame alike face, after all, his friend really does have a pretty face, just his taste.

Then, in the corner of his eyes, he recognized the man he had been waiting since half of hour. Tarou was rushing to the lawn where the boy was sat on, face red of anger. Oh, look like our fat-man found who was the one destroying his flowers since last month. Shigure wondered if he should stay here and study the gardener’s rage or leaving the parc before things get messy. His reason leant toward the latter but his body refused to move and without his consent, his ears were focused on the two people arguing in front of him.

“Don’t you have any shame! Those flowers are from the taxes payed by our fellow citizens!” He enrolled his chubby fingers around the fragile white wrist of the younger man, visibly hurting him when he tried to free himself from the aching hold. “Let me go!” he screamed in a high-pitched voice that did not sound masculine at all, now that Shigure had heard his voice. “Oh no! Believe me young boy, you will follow me!” the boy continued to struggle vividly, like a fish out of water. “Who are you calling a boy! You blind dirty old man!” Shigure blinked. Was sugar boy a missy? He almost felt bad for her, almost. “I told you to stop struggling!” shouted Tarou, keeping his hand still locked forcefully on her wrist. In hope to break free, she scratched until blood with her nails his fat hand. Tarou pulled her brutally and she yelled in pain.

Without him noticing Shigure was already on his feet, taking part of the fight he had decided he did not want to be involved in. His eyes rested on her face. She had nothing to do with Ayame, her face was more feminine, yet for half of a second he through he seeing Ren, but this thought that quickly forgotten. Her skin was fairer, but more than that, her eyes were bigger and holding different emotion than the wickedness always present in Ren’s. Not that this girl’s eyes were perfect, but it was just by the way she was expressing her anger through them that made Shigure shiver. He wondered about all the other feelings she could show with her black pupils. He also wanted to touch with his finger her small round nose, it was adorable and the lips…. Shigure looked at the parc gardener. “Hey! What’s happening” he said in a beam.

“Don’t interfere, that girl just aggressed a city’s worker, we will settle it down at the police!” her eyes which were full in anger were now showing dread and her face had now a sickly white color. “Oh, did she hurt you? I’m so sorry, my girlfriend always acts before thinking, you know how are women! Ta- I mean, sir” he passed an arm around the man’s shoulder and winked at her. “Sir you should watch out your missy! Look at what she done to the flowers!” He pointed her furiously, infuriating the woman beside him. “It’s just flower goddamni-” Shigure interrupted and took Tarou-san by the chin “Oh~ It’s my fault, I love flowers and she wanted to please me” he made a dramatic expression, the back of his hand on his forehead. “She is so in love with me, I means, I understand who can resist me?” he burst out, approaching his face to the gardener with his more charming smile, almost touching his nose with his. “Who is in lov-” Shouted the girl, outraged before Shigure cut her out with a finger on her mouth. Tarou had lost all the colors on his face and shoved Shigure away. “What the fuck is wrong you.” He grunted before taking his tools and walking away.

Shigure smirked as he watched the man leave. New information, Tarou don’t like physic contact he thought to himself proudly. Then he turned to the woman he just saved. “You owe me one.” She jerked out a breath, irritation in her pretty eyes “I was doing fine!” she said, massing her red wrist. Shigure shrugged “Scratching somebody until they bleed is not what I call ‘doing fine’, he had all the right to take you to the post, even for a little scratch, young boy” he teased and she blushed in anger. She sent him a deathly look before turning her back.

This view of her back disturbed him and he stretched his arm to hold her back. “Hey! Wait, don’t go like that.” She glared at him, frowning her bows. Hatori told him to meet new people and that he needed distraction. “Let’s not stay on this, how about I buy you a coffee?” he made a charming smile and tilted his head just the right way. He released her arm, allowing her to have space to feel safer in her choice. She pouted in hesitation, folding her arms, her eyes doing trip between his face and her shoes. “Just a coffee?” she asked, unsure. Shigure beamed “Yeah, just a coffee, nothing more? So, what do you think about it?” he grinned and she nodded.

_‘Yeah, she was cute enough to entertain me’_ he thought as he leaded her to the nearest café.


	4. Chapter 3

Akito decided that the man of front of her was stupid and that she wasn’t better. She could almost see Kureno frowning and tapping his fingers on his arm and scolding her ‘What did I said about strangers Akito?’ But truth to be told, he has helped her and he promised that he was just treating her coffee. He handed her a menu “Here, take what you want.” He smirked, and Akito hated to think that he was charming, if only he wasn’t an idiot. She grunted and took a look of what was proposed. She directly zapped the hot drinks page for the desserts, she already knew what she was looking for. She actually already experienced coffee before and she hated it, it was too bitter. However, she was curious about the foods and she wanted to go somewhere else than this parc. And, yes, maybe following a stranger to do it was probably not the best idea, actually, it might be the worst. She did not even know his name, but something in her guts told her that she could trust him. Maybe it was because he helped her…yeah, it was probably that.

“So, what you want?” she lifted her eyes from the menu to look at him. Something had caught her attention, but she wondered if she should ask it as she bit her cheek. “What does the menu don’t please you?” he asked looking at his card, mouth downward in surprise. “You prefer traditional food?” Akito shook her head. God forbid her if she were to eat another _daifuku_ or _dango_, she wanted something new and she will get it, something she always wanted to taste. “No, it's alright, I’ll take a parfait”

“Oh, that’s unexpected” he sneered and she frowned. “unexpected?” he stopped laughing when he saw her glare. “Well, it’s just it’s unexpected for you to command something so cute with how your look. I feel like you’re ready to put my eyes out at any moment now” Akito crossed her arms, she hadn’t had the idea before but it did not sound like a bad idea right now. “How would you react if prejudiced person made an awful comment about you?”

“I wouldn’t said prejudiced” he smirked, showing his white teeth “but it’s natural for humans to have some pre-ideas before meeting new people, it’s a way of self-defense when you find yourself in front of something new, you seek unconsciously for something you know.” He shrugged and closed his menu. “Humans base their thought through experience, it can be by meeting or things they had heard on media.” Akito found herself lost in his eyes as he explained his point, his hand under his chin, she did not even notice his knowing smile “But I admit that I was wrong about you, I’m sorry, I means, it’s normal for a girl who was make wreaths every Wednesday in a parc to eat parfait, just most of the time, they’re younger, like eight year old, but it’s good, it’s refreshing” Akito eyes went full of fury. He dared to provoke her.

“refresh- wait” she jolted as she her rethought what he just said “how do you know?” she asked in a low voice. He hummed in confusion. “How do you know that I’m coming every Wednesday, are you spying on me?” she asked with goosebumps. She should have never left the mansion. It was going to end badly.

“What? No, not you specially” he made a gesture of the hand and probably the face she was doing made him laugh and he quickly added “I mean, I observe people, it’s a part of my job!” Akito breathed out a sarcasm, clearly not believing him “Your job is to watch at people who happens to walk across the parc you’re in?” he laughed sheepishly “Kind of? I’m a writer you see.” She raised her brows. He was not the image she had of a writer. The look or the expression, even the age, all was wrong. She has always imagined writers to be bald old men who and that they inspired wisdom. This man was the complete opposite. She bit her cheek. Now who was the person prejudicing?

“Since when writers spy on people like creeps?” she stared at him meaningfully, he avoided her eyes and played with his fingers, taking a childish voice, as if he just has been scolded. Akito found it annoying “But, I’m doing nothing wrong I’m just imagining story for the people I observe” he waved his hand playfully. “Anyway, they will never know” and he laughed. Never mind what she has thought earlier, Akito decided that this man was actually a jerk. She was going to tell him a piece of her thought when a waitress came to take their orders. “A parfait and a cheesecake with a coffee” he winked to the young girl in uniform, making her blush, Akito cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed. “No hot drink?” he asked, turning back her attention to her and she just shook her head in negation. “Then, just one coffee” he grinned again at the woman writing their orders “Then, I’ll be there in one minute” she put a lock of her long hair behind her ear and walked away, giggling. Akito rolled her eyes.

“And about who you already wrote?” she asked leaning on the table and wanting to come back to the original subject. “I mean, in the parc?” She wanted to know if he already wrote about her. After all, she has been coming to the parc for more than a month now. “Curious if I wrote about you~” He smirked and she blushed, how that guy saw through her “As if! I was just making conversation” she looked away, trying to hide her embarrassment. She gritted her teeth when she heard once again his sneer. “Well” he said started, resting his cheek on his knuckle. “I’m working on the gardener you just injured before.”

“He started it first, I was just defending myself!” She shouted and he made a quick gesture to tell her to keep it down, she was ready to snarl at him before noticing that most of the people around them were staring in their direction. She groaned and crossed her arms, sinking in her seat in anger. He beamed as he shook his head. Akito noticed his pink tongue as he bit it to held back a laugh before forcing her eyes to look aside. “So, what kind of story did you imagine for that pig.”

“Hum, I was still wondering about it this afternoon, but after seeing both of you, I’m thinking about Yakuza.” Akito mentally grunted, why did he thought about Yakuza after seeing both of them. “Don’t you think he looked like somebody with debts?” Akito stopped frowning, imagining the man who aggressed her in that position. “Imagine” Shigure hands gestured as he was talking “That man is under a pile of debt and his wife left him alone with his only daughter. He had so much to pay back that he decided to sell his daughter.” Akito who was listening with attention opened her mouth in horror, it was terrible for the daughter. “But don’t worry, before being sent to a brothel where she will be imprisoned until she paid off her dad’s debt, she will escape with her lover and they will start a new life.” He smiled before added that “I love happy ending.”

Akito opened her mouth, disconcerted “And…The Yakuza?” He looked at her with a stupid expression, asking for development. “The heroine, she met no Yakuza and you said you wanted to make it a story about Yakuza.” She explained, upset. “Huh? I don’t remember talking about Yakuza.” He lied, taking a stupid voice and Akito felt a headache coming, this guy was having fun at her depend. “You editor must love you.” She grunted wryly.

“Yeah, you can call it true love.” He dared to make a satisfied, big cat smile at her. She couldn’t believe that man, she almost wanted to laugh from the absurdity of the situation. “Okay…And, what’s his name in your story.” She asked nastily.

“I called him Tarou” She scoffed out of surprise. Oh, it had to be a joke “You called him 'fat guy'” she asked, not believing it. “I’m sorry to tell you don’t have much imagination for a writer, even twelve years old kids could do better.” He simply smirked “Oh, but it’s a funny name no?” Akito wanted to said more but the waitress came back with the foods. He thanked the girl before taking a taste of his cake.

“By the way, what’s your name?” he asked after swallowing. “Akito” she answered without thinking before cringing mentally. She swears she saw Kureno sighing and said in a very tired tone, repeating for the second time _‘Akito, what did I said about strangers?_’ quickly she tried to find a way out. “It’s written with autumn and door” she quickly said, writing the kanji on the table with the tip of her finger. If she had raised her head, she would have saw the lost expression of the man in front of her, like somebody who had his hope crutched. “And you?” She continued, in hope that he won’t ask her family name. “Ah…” She lifted her eyes when he hadn’t given her a direct answer, he looked at her as in trance and she repeated “Your name, what it is?” he blinked and made a stupid smile, as before “I am Shigure, nice to meet you Akito-chan”

There were a silent where Shigure drank his coffee as he observed the world by the window. Akito wondered what he was thinking and she was forced to admit he was charming when he wasn’t talking. There was something that made her feel at peace with him, which was strange since he is a stranger who have been annoying her. She tasted her parfait and smiled. It was like not exactly how she imagined it would be, the description she has read about it was different, but she felt satisfied. She just realized one of her childhood wish after all. And it was different from what was at the mansion. It was new, it was great.

As she ate her strawberry, she noticed that the man was still looking by the window, in thought. She looked too and saw the people coming back and forth. They were not really different from the people at the parc, most of them just passed across it, not taking attention of the nature above them, it was the same on a sidewalk, it was the same everywhere, a crowd. “Imagining stories for the people outside?” she asked, with a hint of interest. Shigure eyes went on her. “Oh no, not really, curious?” he said and she grunter, why was he always teasing her, if he knew who she was he wouldn’t dare to.

“I know how much of a captivating man I am, but...” Akito held back a grunt “Tell, me more about you. What’s your work?” he looked right into her eyes and she felt at lost of words. Behind him she could almost see Kureno making subtle sign. “I’m…” she couldn’t tell him she was more or less the chief of one of the most influent family in Japan, less about her being a full-time goddess of twelves cursed people who transform into animal of the zodiac. She thought about Kureno and she wondered about his work. She thought he was helping her in her chores but…Ren did not let her do much but a few handlings about the cursed. “I’m…In management.” She said confidently.

Shigure raised his eyebrows “Management? So young?” Akito took another spoon of dessert, giving herself time to think for an explanation. “Yes, it’s a small firm, we are still new.” Shigure made a throat noise and nodded. “I see, but why somebody doing a such important job go every Wednesday in a parc to do wreaths?” Akito clicked her tongue. How came that she never noticed him before.

“It’s my only day off and I want to spent it doing wreaths. Problem with that?”

“Oh, none, I find it very cute actually” He said honestly and Akito went agape, then tried to hide her red cheeks “Cute?” it was not often people do call her that way. She had heard handsome, pretty, gorgeous, but cute? That was really unexpected and she did not know how to take it. Shigure probably just said that because he knew she was a girl. In many books she has read, the boys were always lurking for a night with girls. Akito did not cared if he wanted one with her, she wasn’t interested. And If Ren were to know about it, Akito was sure she would spend the rest of her days in hospital. She remembered how Hatori had scolded her about what happened with Kureno. Akito wondered if Hatori too, like Ren, was displeased by her sex too. If she had been a boy, she couldn’t have the risk to end up pregnant.

She sighed, Kureno has told her that the few hours she passed at the parc the Wednesday could be the time she could be true to herself, and she wanted to be. She wanted to be the woman she was, she wanted to walk freely in the town. But she was still too scared to dare to wear dresses or skirts, so instead she just envied women walking across the parc. At least, here she hadn’t to hide herself, it was her comforting thought. “Yep’” Said Shigure, stopping her trains of thought “But it looked like you were struggling with flowers” she clicked her tongue, remembering the ruined stems and petals. “It’s because the flowers were poor quality, not my fault.”

“Oh, I’m sure they were!” he nodded, as if agreeing “That’s probably why our dear Tarou was furious when you ruined his flowers, because they were totally cheap” Akito glared at him, she was really starting to get annoyed by him and she tried to chase away the image of the gardener in ridiculous Yakuza clothes, the same she saw from one of Yuki’s manga when they were younger. She was sure she was going to be sick for the rest of the week because of his nonsense. So instead of shouting at him, she took a big spoon of that sweet parfait, hoping that it will helps her to keep her cool.

Looked like Shigure noticed her irritation and decided to ease the mood. “Okay, I’ll stop.” He smiled in a gentle way “But, instead of being angry at the flowers, why don’t you ask for advice?” she fixed her spoon. She wished she could, it would have been less an embarrassment right now. But neither Kureno and Yuki did know how to. Yuki was worst than her when it came to manual work and Kureno will just give her a sorry expression, saying that he never found the interest to do it. “Don’t talk like anybody know how to do it.” She sharply answered.

“Well, I know how to, want me to show you?” he beamed and once again, she scowled “So you can make even more fun of me?” he muffled a laugh. “No, no, I promise I won’t, at least not about it.” She stared and wondered why the hell did he want to stay with her. She leant on the table, showing suspicion in her eyes. “Are you going to write about me?”

“Look like our little Akito is very confident” he simply answered. “But no, I just want to show how to do it, but if you refuse, I won’t force you.” He shrugged. Akito fell down into the seat, grunting about him calling her ‘our little Akito’. She will never get used to be treated this way. “How about going back to the parc and I show you how to.” Akito bit her cheek “I don’t think it’s a good idea…” but god know how she wanted to, she wanted to fulfill everything she dreamed doing since she was little.

“Okay, then, I’ll just accompany you back there, alright” he smiled and she was surprised to see no hint of mockery in his voice or his face. He was just very careful. “You don’t seem to know the area, it would be a shame if you got lost, don’t you think?” Akito was surprised, he has noticed? She hesitated. He was right, she totally did not know the area at all. She just followed him out of curiosity and to have the chance to eat an exotic dessert. She had always dreamed of that parfait after all.

“Yeah, please” she said, nodding and then she saw him raising up and walk to the counter. She directly walked to the entry, waiting for him. She looked distantly the crowd. She always watching it from far but she never wanted to be a part of it. It was scary, all of those strangers. It was odd, wasn’t she here to try new things? So why she feeling this anxious about being a part of this world. She watched it as if there was a filter between them. Like during every new year banquet when she can only see the shadows of her cousins behind a screen. This rotten feeling of envy was starting to swallow her and she was so sick of it. She looked the bare legs of a woman in skirt. It was so beautiful and she wondered if one day she could dare to try one. She wouldn’t need to fell the tightness of a pant or the suffocating piles of clothes to hide her chest.

“What a pretty girl isn’t she?” said Shigure, making her jump in surprise. She turned her eyes over him. “Let's go, okay.” She followed him, making attention to be behind him, just in case. She noticed that he was avoiding the crowd too. She wondered if it was because of her. After all he did notice that she wasn’t with people. It was logic now that she thinks about it, he had told that he was used to observe people, it had probably been easy for him to notice that about her. She recognized from far the parc and she felt a great disappointment to had arrived this quickly. Because that meant she will be left all alone the moment she will walk in.

She looked down to her shoes. She didn’t want it to be over already, she had never walked that far from the parc before, and when she will come back the next week, she will be sure she won’t be confident enough to walk out. She lifted her eyes and watched his broad back. “Shi-shigure!” she wasn’t sure she had called him; her voice was so small and the sound of the world around them so loud, however he turned back and eyed her curiously. “Yeah?”

“Actually, can we meet next week?” she gulped and avoided his grey eyes “...You could show me how to do flower crowns…” she felt stupid, just when she refused him before. However, he kindly smiled and accepted. She didn’t know why, but she felt a smile growing on her lips. He walked her until a bench and leave her there “See you next week Akito!” he waved as he walked away and she called Kureno to get her.

“Had a nice day?” he asked when she sat next to him on the passenger seat. Akito nodded. “What did you do today?” he asked fondly, like a big brother to his little sister. He put a lock of hair behind her ear. Akito opened her mouth and wanted to tell him about flowers, the gardener and Shigure. But something stopped her. What if Kureno thought meeting that guy would be too dangerous and forbidden her to go. She would understand him, it would be for her own good. Yet, even if Shigure had annoyed her a lot today, it had been fun. She saw new places and tasted new flavors, she wanted more. She wanted to enjoy those few moments of freedom, even if it means lying to her best friend. “I…tried to do a flower crown, but I’m still having trouble…”

Kureno patted her head “Don’t give up, I’m sure if you hard work on it, next week you will be able to do one properly” he encouraged, Akito nodded, looking at the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !! Thank you for reading those chapters. Next week I will only update one.  
I hope you are all enjoying it ;w;   
Anyway, let me explain about the kanji and lecture. I find it funny because I know japanese, but not everybody do. Akito is written 慊人 however, she told Shigure that her name is written 秋戸 which mean Autumn and door. It a complete different name.   
I hope you all will continue to read this fanfic!! Don't forget to comment or to kudo !! Thank you again for reading ;w;


	5. Chapter 4

_Shigure looked at his goddess at his right. They were both sitting on the porch of his house garden. Her entire being was bright like sun, yet it was neither blinding nor harmful for his eyes. Mesmerized, he dared to take her bare enlighten arm, it was warm, like hot water and he desired to never wake up in a world where she wasn’t his. Even now, birds were coming around her as to mock him. He felt an irrepressible need to embrace her and to claim her as his, instead he just slid closer to the bright outline and stared at her like a dog in need of attention. A warm laugh invaded the place in a sweet echo. _

_He felt butterflies in his stomach and his throat ran dry as she put her warm hand on his cheek, he leant into it unconsciously. He was starving for any of her touches, any of her laughs, anything from her. In those dream they never spoke, neither her nor him, but they shared a lot. She was the main actress of his wet dreams and Shigure loved her kisses, it was soft like a feather and each time he craved for more. Sometime he wondered if she was having the same dreams, and if she saw him or a dog instead. After all he was only seeing her under that bright feminine silhouette. He wanted more, he wanted to meet her for real, to touch her, to laugh with her, he wanted to be with her. Because it felt right, because it what was his gut, his heart and his reason told him to do. _

_He remembered how mad he was after Kureno and Hatori had been allowed by her side and not him. He was so jealous that Ayame had to lock him and Hatori in a room and he had his friend patronizing him for the whole afternoon of how childish he had been acting. He knew his friend was really trying to make him aware that the bright goddess next to him right now what just a dream, an illusion and that the real Akito had nothing to do with her, but he really couldn’t helpn having that deep feeling each time he was thinking of her. Nobody could tell him it wasn’t love, Hatori was might be right saying that he was running after an illusion, but his feelings were true and Shigure did not planned to give up on them. This determination, this craving, those feelings, he was going to use them all and he was going to meet her for real, even if it takes time, even if it takes his whole life. He palmed her warm cheek, and he felt her smile. _

Shigure opened his eyes awake, the chirping of birds and hardness of the bright sunlight preventing him to be with her anymore. He rolled over in his bed, as sulking over the sun and showing it his back as a childish and useless revenge. He waited a few minutes, the time to emerge from the bed and to prepare himself for the day. He will probably visit Hatori, at least to share the breakfast. He thought about bringing the hot coffee with him but he did not have any coins on him, so he decided to just give him his pretty, charming smile. _'Hatori will surely hate it'_ he said to himself with a smile as he put his shoes on and opened his door.

He walked to his friend’s medical office and he winked at one of the servants he passed across, a young one. She probably hadn’t meet Ren nor she knew about the curse because she waved at him with a light blush on her cheek. She won’t be allowed in the inside family for long unless she enter the ranks under Ren’s training. She will need to start to ignore or treat the cursed as monster. In this generation, they were almost as low as the cat. Shigure remembered with bitter memories how he and his cousins used to be called the Sohma’s benediction before Akira's death. In a spawn of a year, Ren took all the power and almost eliminated all the people supporting old traditions. He would had almost admired the fact that she did succeed in a few times to erase all the custom of the family in such few times if only she did not lock Akito away from him or harmed the youngest cursed with her way of thinking. Only the oldest were admiring them now.

He leaped up the stairs, hands in the pocket and whistling before arriving in front of the practice door. He lifted the flower pot to take the key under it. Shigure knew that Hatori left it here for him, even if he frowned by the sight of Shigure showing up each morning, it was their routine. He opened the door and jumped in, taking a sniff of air to check up if there were any Hatori’s patients and slid at the doctor desk. His friend merely looked up from his computer. “Well, I was telling myself that I was having a good day, thank you for ruining it Shigure.” The dog made a dramatically position, as if an arrow had hit him right into his chest and hurt his pride. “And here I was, checking you up, don’t our friendship have any meaning for you Haa-san?”

Shigure heard him mutters for himself ‘what friendship’ before he removed his glasses. Shigure took a seat, making himself at home. “Don’t worry, I won’t stay for long, I have an appointment” he beamed. Hatori eyebrow arched “You are going to work?” he asked and Shigure laughed it off, waving his hand “What are you saying? Of course not, actually I’ve followed your advice and meet someone” he leant his arms on the table, his chin on his hands. “It’s a cute funny girl, she is easy to tease as Mii-chan.” He added.

“Don’t be means to her Shigure.” Hatori did not laugh back and stared at his friend. Shigure simply shrugged it off, and took a neutral face. That girl, Akito- damned same name, was just an entertainment; he did not plan to do anything with her but to tease and to see her reactions. She was even more interesting than he thought she would be and pushing her buttons was so easy. But she wasn’t as weak as Mitsuru, if Akito was his editor, she probably would have been more direct with him. Instead of wanting to hang herself at his door porch, she would have broken into his house with fury to threaten him to hand off his draft, he liked to imagine her with a weapon in the hand.

“You’re smiling.” Pointed Hatori, making Shigure blink away the image of a red-headed Akito shouting to give her the drafts. “Was I? It’s because today gonna be a good day~” he fell back into his seat, arms behind his head. Well, he didn’t think he will meet Akito again, but last time had been funny. Still, it had bugged him that she had the same name of his goddess. When she had told him her name, it had thrown him in a loop, he almost hoped that her to be the chief of the clan who was locked in her room. But the writing name was different, that girl was Autumn door while his girl was Satisfied person, and he knew that his Akito couldn’t leave the mansion, not even in his wildest dream, and god know how many he had since he was seven years old.

He looked at the folder sorted out on the desk and stretched his hand to take one before being scolded by the doctor. “What did I said about medical confidentiality?” he groaned at Shigure innocent face. “So, it was your patients’ folders? I’m sorry, I didn’t know haha”

Hatori stared and told him what he wanted to heard “Lately her health improved, though she is still forced to stay in her room most of the time” Shigure listened with great attention, taking the information. “I heard she let an outsider live with us.” Hatori looked at the framed photo. “Yes, Honda Tohru I think…It’s not a great idea to let her with us” the dragon voice became low “The weight of the curse is too strong for outsiders.” Shigure lifted his chin from his palm “Because…She know about the curse? Oh my, what a turnaround, did you already meet her?”

Hatori rose up and walked to the open window, lighting up a fag. “Yeah, she is residing at Kazuma-dono. I saw her when I was taking a visit to check up Yuki asthma.” He explained. “Momiji is very fond of her and the boys are starting to get annoyed to see him every day at their house, not that I don't understand though.” Shigure snickered. “You can’t blame him; this kid is craving for affection.”

“Like all of us, it’s a part of our curse.” Hatori did not share Shigure light mood towards the curse, it was big deal for him. Since Kana, he wanted to makes sure the people coming in would be strong enough for the ancient bonds they all shared, it hurt him too much to lose his lover because of it “That’s why you think this girl shouldn’t be here?”

“Well, it’s not her place to be…But I don’t think it’s bad too, having an outsider.” Shigure stared and smiled, hoping Hatori would move on from Kana “Yeah, probably” The doctor answered, and Shigure promised himself to meet the young girl as soon as possible. He couldn’t resist to a young high school girl after all.

* * *

He really hadn’t expected to see her to actually wait for him. To be honest, he thought that she would have fled and never came back to this parc because she had been either too scared of the gardener or of him. But look like his charm had influenced her and she was now standing straight, her arms struck against her body in an odd way. Shigure found himself holding back a laugh in front of this strange view. He was facing her back and he had to refrain himself to tease her by surprising her. He couldn’t be bad if by accident she ends up in his arms. So instead, he just called her when he was near enough “Hey, Akito!” he had been a little satisfied when she jolted.

Shigure noticed as she turned her pretty eyes to him that she had put perfume on her, however it wasn’t a feminine fragrance, actually Shigure have been more used to smell it on men he came to walk across to. If he remembered well, Ayame used to put this same perfume on him. He smirked, pleased by the attention. She quietly greeted him back. “You’re late…”

“We hadn’t fixed any hour though?” He smirked as he saw her frown. He wondered if one day he will get enough of her angry expression; there were a little thing addicting him in her eyes at this moment that he wouldn’t wanted to acknowledge. “Let’s somewhere else, where you can pluck any flowers you want” he pointed at his right with his thumb. “We don’t want to have any more trouble with Tarou right?” he smirked when she sent him a glare. “Alright, follow me”

He walked her to a pond where wild flowers were growing. Akito sent a hesitant look at him before sitting on the grass. Shigure followed her, making sure to put a safe space between them. The place was silent due to the lack of crowd. If it was not for some joggers running on the way beside the pond, it would have been only the two of them. He noticed last week that she wasn’t fond of crowd, so she would probably feel more relaxed here. He took his attention back to the girl beside him who was looking at the flowers, deciding with one she could use for her crown. He could see in her eyes that the was disappointed by the quality of the white flowers. She has been too used by the pretty and fragile ones watered by the gardeners to enjoy the beauty of the wild ones which grew by themselves, strong, resistant. Shigure showed her and plucked a dozen to begin with, she hesitantly followed, still unsure about the flowers

He started to wrap stem around the others with patience, his hands moving by their own. He did not forget the time he passed to do wreaths when he was still a child. He always wanted to give one to his Akito but he couldn’t see her, so instead, he tried to throw them across the wall of her garden. He never knew if she received one of his creations, but his young determined-self had continued to do so until maids found out and pulled him by his hair far away. Since then, Ren constructed a closure around her and Akito’s house and Shigure never had the chance to get near of it again.

“Hey! Do it more slowly I can’t follow!” she brutally snapped him out of his memories and thank god he was somebody patient to begin with because he would have totally lost his cool if he hadn’t. “And can’t you ask it more gently?” he said back, more sharply than wanted. Her shoulders shuddered and she closed up herself. He had noticed her hurt pride as he studied her face. She preferred to continue getting it things badly than to acknowledge she was wrong; it was saying long about her. However, Shigure noticed that she was starting to feel pressured by the situation, she destroyed the stems of the wreaths, pulling too hard on it and if he noticed her eyes beginning to get wet from shame, he turned his eyes aside.

He put his fingers around her wrists, stopping her. “Okay, okay, relax.” He made her let go of the flowers band “Not very patient uh?” he observed, untying her flowers “Look like we will have to redo it”

“We?” Shigure shrugged. “Yeah, we should have started this way instead of letting you do it on your own.” His tone was gentle, reassuring the girl who had been previously anxious. He guided her fingers around the stem “Slowly…Yeah like that” he encouraged when she started doing it by herself. It wasn’t as good-looking as Shigure's, but at least, she was succeeding to make one. “Shigure…” she was unsure and Shigure had the impression to face a little scared animal, like a traumatized cat which was pondering about giving its trust or not. “Yeah?” he smiled gently, for wanting to frighten her. Sure, he was not a good guy, but he wasn’t a cruel neither, he wasn’t going to pull a rub under her feet when she was initiating conversation. “How…Did you learnt to do it?”

He thought about lying to her and telling that, younger he had to do hundred flower wreaths for the emperor's wedding in one night and since then, he had a godsend knowledge about flowers, but he was scared that if he teased her too much, she would close herself to him. So instead as he gently tied the last stem to finish his crown, he explained with nostalgia that one of his best friends had a flower phase. “He always has a high sense of style, and at this period he was putting flowers everywhere” The Sohma’s garden had been empty of them and the servants had been furious. “So, I was kind of forced to follow him into his mania, and ended up really enjoy it” it was half true, he just wanted to give the locked-up girl something. Akito nodded and took her attention back on her own flowers.

“And you, why an adult woman wants absolutely do wreath?” he asked out of curiosity and in aim to continue the conversation. After all, he has been wondering since the day he saw her ruining the gardener flowers. However, her cheeks flashed red and she started to get on the defensive “It’s not your business!” Shigure knew that her defensive behaviors probably come from the way she had been raised. He could easily imagine somebody in her circle always nagging her. “Yeah, it’s not, but I’m curious, even children nowadays don’t do it anymore” he shrugged, rubbing without care the salt on the wounds, feeling that he was now free to tease her as much as he wanted without her to shut down. He was proud of himself to have awoken once more her inner volcano. He watched at the flame in her eyes, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Why are you so mean to me?!” She almost shouted, her eyebrows fronted and her cheeks red from anger. Shigure smirk grew bigger “What? I’m not mean, I'm just teasing you Akito” He pointed her nose with his finger “and you, you fall right into the trap. It’s way too tempting to see you doing it again and again”

“I don’t see what is funny in here.” She did not share his carefreeness and preferred to send him a long glare. It was perfect, she was reacting exactly how he wanted, so predictable and Shigure found himself wanting more and more. He felt the urge to caress her head but fight against. They weren't that close yet and he shouldn’t make himself too comfortable with her already. Something was wrong, why did he feel at ease with her? The curse always prevented him to get close from others, because they were scary, because they couldn’t understand, because they were different. Even with Mitsuru, he took his time before starting to taunting out her overreacting behaviors. But Akito, it was only the second time and they were already sitting on grass making crown with flowers. He was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Akito eyeing him until she coughed to get his attention.

“Tell me…” she asked and if he noticed a hint of shyness in her voice, he decided to ignore it “Doesn’t it bother you? I mean…Shouldn’t you be observing people for your books?” she locked her eyes on the flowers she was trying to tie, her fingers pulling too hard on the stems. Shigure saw behind it her uncertainty. She…wanted to open up, but she was scared that thing could turn wrong. “Oh, I can take a day off, no?” he smirked and she glared at him again. He waved his hand in apologize “Okay, just kidding” he said lightly “Actually, I think I got a little nostalgic, and…” a bright-full silhouette flashed in his mind and Shigure had to repress the feeling of melancholia growing in “I wanted to clear my head” he shrugged simply and she nodded softly. “Clear your head…” she repeated quietly.

“But I’m very pleased to heard you care so much about my career! You are right, being a novelist is a fulltime job~” she rolled her eyes and puffed her cheek. He smiled softly at her expression and by its own will, his hand moved and passed through her hair. The moment he realized what was happening it was too late and he could only smile stupidly to sidestep the issue at her full, surprised and damned mesmerizing, eyes. “Oh! Your hair are so soft! What kind of shampoo do you use?” He said joyfully as if it wasn’t a big deal, trying hard to push the situation aside. She slapped his hand away. Her shocked expression was now an embarrassed one, as she looked down and her lips were formed into an adorable pout. He felt himself unable to look away and he didn’t like how he felt his blood boil. His brain worked quickly “By the way, I was wondering if you’re looking for a girlfriend, because I know a girl, Mayuko, I’m suuure she would be into you!”

The moment was over in a blink and her furious eyes were back. Shigure mentally cringed, it was rare, but even he felt embarrassed by his idiocy, it was not the best thing to say. “Are you teasing me again! You know I’m not a goddamn boy!” Shigure closed one eye, he was on tight line. Akito had threw up her flowers strip and was pushing her hands on the grass in aim to lifting her up and walk away, Shigure caught her arm before she could move away. “Wait, wait, I’m sorry.” She looked at him, biting her lower lip. Shigure really hoped he didn’t pass through her line of tolerance. Something deep inside him begged for her presence and he couldn’t put a name on it, but it made his body move on its own. She hesitantly sat back, doubtful. She wrapped her arms around her knees and glared. “You promise you won’t tease me anymore?”

“You should know by now that I can’t promise you that” she looked aside, probably weighting the pros and cons to stays with him. She got closer and Shigure had to prepare himself for the worse, even if Akito wasn’t the kind of girl to threw herself into somebody arm. The idea that Hatori had to erase her memories about their time together upset him, and he couldn’t tell why. “Well…I think you’re kind of trustful after all…You defended me and haven’t kidnapped me yet.”

Shigure almost burst out, it was the first time he heard somebody said that about him. “Well…To be honest I don’t think trustful is the best word to qualify me, but be sure I won't be mean to you if you don’t deserve it” she kicked him in the leg, surprising him “You did just a minute ago!” okay, he may have deserved the kick. “I was testing the limits…” he fake-sulked and she rolled her eyes. “Okay, how can I make up for this then?”

She blinked and she took a few seconds before answering, in a very low voice “…Next week…Come back here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I wanna see an AU where Akito is Shigure editor haha.   
Anyway, thank you for reading this chapter ! I hope you liked it ! Don't forget to comment or kudos >w<   
See you next week for next chapter uwu


	6. Chapter 5

_“What’s wrong Makoto? Still thinking about your deaaar~ Shiro-chan” The high school girl laughed, making her busty chests move up and down into a enthralling dance. “Seriously, you should learn to give up, you’re not a kid anymore to be in love with some handsome dude you imagined!” she crackled charmingly. “Buut, I can’t help how I feel!” laughed Makoto joyfully. Just thinking of Shiro improved her mood. Love was such an amazing thing._

Akito flipped the page of the book, mildly annoyed by characters behavior toward Makoto. Akito was really fond of her, maybe because she was a misunderstood character that everybody else mistreated because of her feeling for Shiro. She found herself into this character and she felt like all the others were Ren. Insulting her and mocking her feelings with her twelve. _‘As if you can have felt something for them, you never met them Akito! You’re such a shame for a son’_ Ren’s voice resonated in her head and Akito gritted her teeth. Why was she so cruel with her and always mocking her; she was so mean. The bonds were real and all the sadness and regret she was feeling too.

She shook her head, chasing away the image of her mother and looked at the calendar. She was now used to see Shigure every Wednesday. They had grown closer with the weeks and Akito started to read his books just because she was curious -nothing more. At first, she found it cringy, with all the romance and stupid women falling in love with moron. However, she couldn’t stop reading them, and the last one she had between her hand was making her great impression. It was a filler story from one his most popular light novel, the characters were interesting, especially the main character’s best friend, Makoto. Actually, she though that the entire book should be around that side character. Akito wondered if she could ask Shigure more information about her later, when he will arrive at the meeting point this afternoon. “Akito, I’m glad that you're enjoying your book, but you need to eat your breakfast” called Kureno gently from the other side of the table. “Let me just finish this chapter” she waved a hand dismissably at his direction, not leaving her eyes off the book.

Kureno exhaled a laugh and took her cup to pour her tea. Sometime, he felt more like a father or a big brother than a friend to her. “Still, I didn’t know you liked that kind of book” and Kureno knew how many books she had, from her homeschooled textbooks to Confucius’s Analects. She always favorited best-sellers and classical books, so he wondered what happened to Akito for she to read silly, foolish, light novels. It had happened during breakfast, exactly like the one they were having now. She had just finished half of her bowl of rice -she never ate more than this, when she had suddenly asked him to buy books from a light-novelist. Not that Kureno could judge the books quality, he didn’t read any from this author in particular, but Akito really enjoyed them since she already read two books of him since last week.

She finished her chapter and closed the book before digging quickly her fish, wanting to be over with it so she could continue her book. Kureno smile fondly “By the way Akito, today I think I can go with you outside, want to go somewhere else?” she coughed and made a gesture of the hand to reassure an alerted Kureno. She hit the table and swallowed hardly “fishbone” she explained. He simply smiled “Haha, don’t scare me like that” he sat again and continued “I was thinking, how about a mall? Maybe we can find a perfume for yo-”

“It’s okay, I don’t need to go somewhere else” she interrupted and placed her chopsticks next to her plate, avoiding his eyes. “Actually…I prefer be by myself, so you can take a day off today and enjoy yourself…You don’t have to follow me.” That was unexpected and Kureno was utterly surprised. “What? Akito, why you don’t want me to go with you? Always being in the same place must be boring, I can drive you-”

“You don’t always have to be me with me!” she said harshly, raising up and taking her book with her “I’ll take a bath! Don’t bother me!” Kureno still did and took her arm “Akito! What’s happening?” he asked, concerned by her sudden change of mood, not that it was out of habit, but most of the time, but when her mood was swinging, Kureno understood the reason why. “Nothing…I-” she interrupted herself, looking down. “I…Just want to be with myself…” He caressed her head. “Akito…If there is something wrong you can tell me you know.” She bit her lips “Yeah, I- I know it’s just…I really want to go at the parc…And only myself, just don’t ask me why!”

She looked back to him and she saw how worried he was, but she couldn’t tell him about Shigure. “You’re…Not doing anything dangerous?” Kureno asked, his eyebrows twisted in a concerned expression. “No…Of course no, I would have told you if it was the case…I just want to be with myself, it’s all” she broke free “Just…Do something else meanwhile” and she fled to the bathroom and washed herself, waiting for the tub to fill with hot water.

As she put a foot in the water, she remembered the first time she had a fight with Yuki. She was tired of him coughing or she kept telling him that he had to listen everything she said _“Because I’m god, you understand” _at first, everything was alright when she did it, but one day, she must have been ten, Yuki pushed her off. She was so angry that she started to punch him and shouting that he should listen what she was saying because they were bonded to each other. He did not he hadn’t fought back but instead, she surprised him by taking wrist and he told her right in her narrowed eyes _“I love you Akito, but if you’re going to scream at me or being mean each time I come, I prefer staying at Kazuma’s!”_ Akito had felt like crying, she did not wanted Yuki to leave her, he was the only one of the twelve she had the right to see, he was everything she had that made her happy. _“But…The bond…Don’t you feel it?” _she had asked, in a low, broken voice._ “I do feel it…But, master Kazuma told me that if somebody do something that make you unhappy, you have to stay far away...”_ he explained and Akito begged him to stay. She had been so, so scared to be left alone with her mother and the nasty servants. She apologized and she promised to never do it again.

She drowned her head in the water. She just done it again with Kureno, wasn’t it? She has been totally unfair to him right now. He was really kind, always staying by her side. He just wanted her to not be alone. But she got angry because she never told him about Shigure. That was embarrassing and she will need to apologize later…Other way, he will leave her, wouldn’t he? She put her head out, taking her breath. But, she will has to explain him about Shigure, but she really didn’t want to. It was childish, but something in her deep inside told her to not told anyone. The less people know, the less chance Ren would know too. She wanted Shigure to be as far as possible of family matters, he was her pastime after all.

After clearing her head enough in the warm bath, she stood up and prepared herself for the day. She stayed in her room until lunch where she rejoined Kureno at the table. Her stomach twisted when she felt his eyes on her and she looked down. She felt ashamed when she remembered how she reacted earlier, but she did not know how to apologize about it. They faced each other at the table, the mood down. She was terrified to have angered him. The idea of him leaving her alone made her want to weep. She felt his fingers lifting her chin and her eyes met his. “Akito, why do you look so sad?” his voice was so kind and so caring, as if what happened earlier was just a dream. Her lips shivered involuntary in relief “Because…I thought that you would leave me”

“Because of earlier?” she nodded without a word “Don’t be silly” he placed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I told you I will stay here as long as you need me…If you want to be at the parc alone, it’s your right” he smiled “After all, I told you those moments were yours only, no?” Akito sat next to him and wrap her arms around his neck. however, she felt unease as reminded herself that he would only stay here as long as she needed him…

* * *

She really liked that pond. The place was quiet and was remoted enough so less people would think taking a walk in. She wondered if Shigure choose in purpose that place for her or if it was just luck, she thought it was the latter. She didn’t know what Shigure was thinking to be honest, a moment he was teasing her nonstop and the second after he was really kind with her. And the worst was that she still wanted to see him. It was strange but she felt natural to be by his side, and the moment he would leave hers, she would felt her guts twisting uncomfortably.

Lately, he started to invade her thoughts. All the desire she had to meet her dear loved twelve zodiacs since she was little, imagining their faces, the way she would play with them or seeing them dance at the new year banquet, all of those wishes she had grew with, rocked by the whispers of an ancient bonds, all of this was disappearing for the image of Shigure, what would he will tell her the next time they would meet, his stupid laughs or his warm hand on her head. It happened only once but she still longed for his fingers throught her hair. Too bad he was too much of an idiot to understand it and the Wednesday wasn't coming sooner enough for her taste. And this moron would always be late.

She groaned, hiding her face against her knees. Why was she feeling like that? She hated it. And the worst was that she noticed that the loud heartbeats of her heart or him occupying her thoughts matched with the descriptions the writers put in their stupid books when the main girl was falling in love with another character. She refused to feel like that with anybody, she refused to end like Ren who was screaming and crying and insulting her to have took away the man she loved. If being in love means being like her, she rejected the idea of loving somebody.

But she couldn’t help feeling that way, like she couldn’t help the deep hole in her heart when she was thinking of how much she was missing her zodiacs. She once talked about it with Yuki and Kureno, they said that it was a feeling similar to love and she have been horrified, because that would have mean that what they were having was like Ren. But Kureno explained her gently that there are different kind of love and that his and Yuki’s are different from Ren’s love with Akira. She did not understand but she tried to experience the different kind of love that he had explained her. It was a few times later that she had her first time with Kureno. She wanted to know more. She understood that Yuki and her loved each other because of the bond, and that she felt the same way with the others without having meeting them. But Kureno was different and she wanted to know what kind of love they shared, she asked and he accepted without saying a word.

“Oh! You were waiting for me~” sang Shigure’s voice behind her. She turned back and fought the smile threating to form on her lips, she wanted to keep an icy face “You’re late.” He sat next to her with a smug expression “But you still didn’t give me a hour Akito, it’s not my fault, I can’t know.” He shrugged and she wanted him to put that cocky smile off, she didn’t like to think how charming he was with it. And she hated even more that he was conscious how handsome he was and that he knew how to use it against her. “You just tell me ‘see you next week’ And I don't know when you arrive here~”

She avoided his eyes and decided that it was the moment to start making her wreath again, they continued to talk as she continued to tie them together. She really improved in doing it and she was really proud of herself, she smiled softly. They were as beautiful as the ones she found one day in her garden when she was little. She had wanted to keep the flowers crowns in her treasure box, but they became dry and wilted away. She hadn’t been able to kept it, but at least, she still had others memories in it. She stopped her hands when she felt that it was too quiet beside her. It was strange because Shigure couldn’t make a movement without talking. She turned her head to him with a concerned expression. He was staring deeply at the flowers in her hands. For a moment she wondered if she had done something wrong and she called him softly “Shigure?”

He blinked suddenly, as if suddenly awoken and stared back at her, his gullible face back “Yeah?” It was like he had never had that closed face a second ago, but Akito didn’t bought it. “Are you alright? What were you thinking about?” She hadn’t meant to sound so worried but it was too late and he was already teasing her “What? You’re worried for me~ isn’t that cute” he giggled noisily. However, this time instead of groaning and arguing with him, she just stared. “Woh, you’re so serious today, what happened?” he said, leaning a little closer, but not too close, never, there were always a space between them. “I’m the one asking question, you seemed out, what’s wrong?”

She swore she saw him bit his cheek before massing his temple. “Don’t worry about it, by the way, you gotten better with the flowers, show me” he took the strip from her hand and examined it. “My, look like you don’t need me anymore right?” He exclaimed with excitation, a genuine smile of proudness. Yet, this phase which should had encouraged Akito or improving her mood put her in a deep anguish. Suddenly she remembered what Kureno have told her and she understood why she felt anxiety, as she was feeling right now. _Staying with me until I don’t need you anymore…Then leave me._

She gripped Shigure’s sleeve so brutally that it made the man jolt. “Wha- What?” he half-breathily said, surprised but smirking, until he saw the anguish written on her face. “Ow…That’s not a pretty face Akito you know.” He gently pulled off her hand, always making space between them. “But…I still need to learn, it can’t end” she said in a small voice. Shigure studied her face for a long time because scratching the back of his head. “Well, obviously we couldn’t always do wreaths, Fall is coming and the flowers time is over” he explained, avoiding her eyes. If Akito wasn’t anxious by the idea of not see him anymore, she would had noticed a little blush on his cheek. “But it doesn’t mean that’s it’s over-over you see?”

“No?” she asked unsure and he chuckled “Of course not, it’s funny being with you, so I’ll continue to see you” he shrugged and let his back fall in the grass. “But I’m so flattered that you would be sad without me” he winked teasingly and she grunted, their usual mood back. “I wouldn’t be sad” she pouted, blushing from embarrassment, this man wasn’t holding back his horses with her “Haww, that’s not what your face what saying a minute ago”

“My face was saying nothing.” She muttered, upset and took her flowers strip back in her hands. “You’re so stupid, I don’t even understand why I want you to stay” she groaned. “Ahww, but it’s because you like me haha!” She felt her heart jump in her chest, and she had to fight to keep a regular breath “You wish” she fixed her fingers, trying to contains her shivers. Damn, how did he made her felt that way. “Sure~” he sang, playing with a blade of grass, he pulled it to his mouth and started to whistle noisily in it. Akito rolled her eyes before glaring at him. He just smiled innocently before looking again at her fingers playing with the flowers stems.

“Did it!” she almost screamed in joy when she finally tied in circle the flower strip. “How it is?” she handed the crown to him with an expecting look, hoping for praise. “It’s great Akito” he smiled gently and she took the crown back “What? You’re not giving it to me? Your dear and adorable flowers crowns professor?” he dramatically gasped. “The world doesn't revolve around you." she grunted "Actually, I will give it to a friend" she stared the crown and hoped Kureno would forgive her for the dispute. “Today I’ve argued with them…” she said before regretting. Why would Shigure care, it wasn’t his business. Yet, she wanted to tell somebody about it, and Yuki was barely visiting her anymore.

“Why did you argue?” he rose his back so they could be at the same length level. Akito frowned, she couldn’t tell him she has been annoyed because Kureno proposed to be with her today when she actually wanted to be with Shigure. She was sure he would find it funny and laugh about it. He was already teasing her too much and it annoyed her. She cleared her throat “We argued for something stupid…But” she gulped “He said he would stay with me until the day I won’t need him anymore…But that’s mean he is gonna leave me one day, right? And I hate it, I do. I true that I need him but…I don’t want him to stay only because of that and I…I don’t know anymore and it upset me”

“It’s a normal feeling Akito…You want people you like stay by your side because of who you are and not because you need them…” he simply said, with a kind voice but putting it in a way that sounded like it was obvious. “So that’s why you were anxious when I said that you won’t need me anymore for the flowers” He passed his fingers in her hair and caressed it, and she felt her heart misses a beat. _Yes_, it was as good as in her memories. “Don’t worry Akito, I will come even after the flowers withered” she closed her eyelids, concentering on the warm touch of his hand and his deep voice. “But we will need to find another place for when it rains or when it will be cold in winter huh?”

“We-we could go back to that café no?” she asked with the hint of a shyness in the voice, she was happy “Ah…It’s true you really liked the parfait here.” He smirked and removed the hand in her hair to put it under his chin. “Not that much…” she muttered. She was sure she had kept a straight face when she had tasted it, how did he saw. “You were all smile” she clicked her tongue, damn his creepy skill of observer. “Was not”

“I saw you Aki-chan, you were having a cute, fluffy smile, you should try to smile more like that by the way~ it was so charming~” he beamed and she punched his shoulder to make him stop. “Shut up! You're so annoying!!” He took her wrists, amused by the situation. She groaned, trying to break free when she sudden fell on her back, Shigure following in her fall. “Ow!” she said when she felt her fragile head bumping on the grass brutally. She opened an eye and she stopped breathing when she saw Shigure on top of her, his eyes wide and surprise and something she was probably mistaking with fear was all over his face, he wasn't smiling anymore. “Shigu-” her ringtone made them jump and he quickly let her go and put gap between them. He put a stupid smile on his face and teased her “Haw, what a bad timing~ but you should answer”

“Idiot” she muttered, cheeks red and searched in her bag the phone Kureno gave her. Speaking of the devil, he was him calling. Of course, it’s him, he was the only one who have her phone number. “Yes?” she answered, surprised. It was the first time he ever called her; it was new. “Ah, Akito, I’m already here, where are you?” She blinked “It’s already time?” she said, surprised “oh…I’m coming, sorry to make you wait, I’m coming, yeah...just wait.” She hung up and searched for her crown on the grass.

“Already leaving?” asked Shigure. If she wasn’t such in hurry, she would have heard the hint of disappointment in his voice. “Want me to go with you?” She rose up “It will be alright.” She simply said and rushed to the path, she just quickly turned back “See you next week!” he waved back and she run to the exit of the parc where Kureno’s car was waiting for her.

She quickly opened the car’s door “Sorry to be late.” She said anxiously, her body drowning in sweat. Kureno framed her head with his hands “Hey, calm down, you didn’t have to run, it’s okay” he pulled out a tissue and wiped the sweat off her face “You’re all red, you shouldn’t tire you out like that. It’s bad for your health.” He gently patronized. She ignored it and shove the flower crown unto his chest “Take it!” Kureno was visibly confused and Akito felt stupid to give him the wreath like that, she should have told him she was sorry for earlier. He gently took the crown and leveled it up to his eyes. “Oh, Akito, it’s well done, you did it by yourself?”

“Yeah…It’s for…About earlier, when...You know…” He smiled kindly and stroked her head. She gently shoved it off, not wanting him to mess her hair up. “I didn’t means to…” she tried to say. He waved his hand “It’s okay Akito, I understand” he put the crown at the front of the car and then, stretched his arm to the backseat and took a paper bag resting on it. “Here, a little gift.” He put it on her laps. Akito’s mouth went agape and she looked bewildered. “Open it!” he said, starting the engine of the car.

“A perfume?” she was even more confused. “Well, lately, you used mine a lot, so I thought I could buy one just for you. And look, the bottle is plainly neutral. Ren won’t notice it’s a woman perfume” he explained, hands on the wheel. Akito tested the scent on her wrist and smelled it. She loved the sweet and discreet scent coming from it. “You like it?” she nodded, a smile on her lips.

She wondered if Shigure will notice that new perfume scent on her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it.  
Akito is pretty confused about love and stuff. Since in this universe, she hadn't grow with the idea that she was born to be loved, she used to mix it up. And Kureno is really brotherly haha.  
Also, I wonder if I shouldn't actually post the chapter the wednesday instead of saturday since it's the day Shigure and Akito meet? What do you think??  
If you liked this chapter, don't forget to comment or kudos! See you next week <3


	7. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After thinking hard about it (and because I just started writing the 20th chapter), I have the pleasure to announce that I'm going to update now this fanfic twice in a week. The wednesday and the saturday~ Anyway, enjoy this chapter

_They were on his garden porch, as always. Sitting next to each other, their shoulders brushing and Shigure looked at all her brightness with longing eyes. The soft sunlight goddess was playing with a sparrow on her finger. The bird's song wouldn’t mind him if it wasn’t for the smell of another man on it, an annoying masculine perfume. He wanted her to look only at him and her to smell like he does. He leant closer to her, startling the bird which flew away, and caressed her glowing cheek with his thumb. He felt her smile and he took her in his arms. Her body was cool but he loved it, he always could warm it later with his body heat. He kissed her forehead and framed her face with his hands before sliding them into her hair, they were so soft and thin. Shigure felt familiar with it but at the same time, it was new._

_He kissed her tenderly, like the goddess she was and he slowly let his fingers slip down until they were around her delicate wrists. He stroked the tender skin with his thumb as he deepened his kiss. They lazily lay on the wooden floor, wrapping their bodies against each other. She broke off the kiss and she stroked his cheek, he closed his eyes at the touch, yes, it’s exactly what he wanted. She let her fingers run on his face before leaving it after a last stroke on his nose. He opened his eyes and she was already back to her original sitting position. She was fixing something between her fingers and Shigure almost grunted by her lack of attention on him. _

_He bent nearer to watch what was in her palm, hoping that it’s won’t be a feather or the sparrow being back, but before he could see, she shoved it unto his chest. Shigure was confused. A flower crowns?_

_“Shigure” called Akito’s familiar voice._

He jumped out awake, sweat drenching his face. What happened? What was just now, why did he hear Akito’s voice in middle of _his_ precious dream with _his_ goddess. He grunted and fell back on his futon, that was the worst. Never before the reality invaded his dream, never, so why now he was seeing flower crown and hearing that girl's voice, it didn’t make any sense and he was really upset. What the hell, since when Akito had took so much place in his life that he would actually hear her in his dream, the only moment he was seeing her. She was just a girl he was meeting every once in week. He was seeing Hatori every morning, so why her. Okay, she was adorable and he was maybe, just a little bit, looking for every Wednesday, but it’s because Akito did distract him really well, really. She was like a hobby.

“Hm…It’s alright, it’s not that big deal” he mumbled to himself. He was right, it wasn’t a big deal, he saw her like one time, it’s okay. His deep consciousness was probably mistaking her because they were sharing the same name. Yeah, it was probably the reason he reassured himself. He passed his hands on his face and exhaled in them. He was tired, he needed to take a shower and a cup of tea in Hatori’s presence. He jumped out of bed to take a warm shower; it will be enough to clear his head, he told himself.

When he cleaned himself and shaved, he jumped into a pair of pants and got out at Hatori's. He barely taken attention to the people around him who were avoiding him as if he was a plague-victim. It was the usual treatment for the cursed. Shigure remembered ironically a time when they were treated like icons and spoilt, when the cursed were saw like saints, a heaven's gift. Now all that they were getting were dark looks and insults. Shigure did not care about it, after all, he did not care for many things in his life. But to the others zodiacs, it was different. He had a thought for the young Isuzu who locked herself up in her room. The poor girl has been abandoned by her parents and the constant nagging of the inside family did not help her sanity. Her depression caused her absenteeism and it gave even more excuse for the family to look down on the cursed, calling them lazy. Only the zodiacs understood her, that’s why only them were allowed in her room. Rin was now too scared of the world to try to open up and going out.

Shigure glanced at the young servant he saw weeks ago, she avoided his eyes and walked as far as possible from him. Well, he expected it. He shrugged and took the stairs to Hatori’s when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Aaah~ Gure! I didn’t think I would see you on the way” Shigure beamed as he recognized his friend voice “Aayaa~ my dear! You just brightened my day” they both laughed, starting to flirt. “Oh no Gure, not in front of the kids” they shared a meaningful look and then they continued to walk “Tell me, did you meet the little Honda? She’s living with my baby brother, sadly, if I try to make one step at Kazuma’s dojo, he will kick me out.” Shigure shook his head “Ah, not yet, I’ve been kind of busy lately.” He laughed, feeling a sweat in his back. If he could say that being busy was writing while he waited every Wednesday, then he had been really busy. “Ah, still making your editor’s life miserable, you’ll never change~” Oh, right, Mitchan, he totally forgot about her. When was the last he even taken the time to care about her actually? “Well, I won’t~” he answered vaguely. He was thankful that he was talking to Ayame, he wouldn’t notice that he hadn’t given a clear answer, unlike Hatori. “But Aayaa, what are you doing here? And your shop?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Don’t worry my dear Gure, Mine is taking care of it, she is very trustful, I’m so lucky to have a such assistant!” he explained with a fond look in his eyes before opening Hatori’s office door. “Tori! Guess who’s here!!” he said entering as if he owned the place. “Ayame, when will you learn to knock before entering into people house or office?” plainly said Hatori, not raising his eyes from his computer.

“Ah, Tori! Come on, it has been so long since the three of us have been together.” He sat on the desk while Shigure took his usual seat. “Well, we all have been busy Ayame, and what about your shop?” while the snake talked about his assistant, the doctor stood up and purred tea for his guests. They both accepted it gladly. “So, as I said, I have a day off, so how about we share the afternoon together, like in old time” talked Ayame, drinking his cup as if he was a king that owner the office and he renamed it “Ayame’s palace”

Hatori sighed. “Ayame…You didn’t tell me that you were coming” he started “I have patients for today so I can’t go.” It did not discourage the man who turned his attention of the writer. “Well, we could just be the two of us Gure, after all, our meeting today was probably a sight of fate.” Shigure made an apologizing moan “Ah…Me too I have something planned for this afternoon, maybe another time?” the two men looked Shigure, visibly surprised. “What's with those faces?”

“Are you…Going to work seriously and give your draft to Mitsuru?” asked Hatori, bewildered. Shigure burst out “What are you saying Haa-san, I always work seriously, I just tease her a little bit.” He sipped his tea, trying to held back his laugh to swallow his tea. “Then Gure, what do you do then?” whined Ayame. “Well, I’m meeting someone” he simply said, not wanting to enter into details. “Just somebody I befriended.” He waved his hand, but it did not prevent Hatori to glare at him. “I don’t know anybody sane enough in this world who would be your friend Shigure without being forced to.”

“You wound me!” Shigure put dramatically his hand on his heart. “And me who thought you were one, thank god Aayaa is here for me.” He dramatically started to cry out before Ayame took his hand. “Of course I will always be here for you, Darling Gure!” Hatori ignored their acts in favor of his work.

* * *

He smiled charmingly at his reflection in the window’s store as he passed next to it. He was thankful to the weather that permitted him to wear his favorite shirt, most of the time he was flooding in sweat during summer, however, this year have been chiller than years before. He took the path was leaded to the pond. He walked and avoided a couple walking their dog, holding it forcefully when Shigure passed across them and passed next to a group of friends wandering around before arriving to their usual place.

She was already waiting him, like always, next to the wall of morning glories. And Shigure hated thinking that she looked gorgeous with her eyes focused on the book laying on her laps, he hated to be mesmerized by her, he hated that she made him feel that way. He knew that it won't last, that this attraction was temporary, it has to be temporary. A strong wind risen of nowhere and Shigure smelled like a sweet and fruity scent, he licked his lips unconsciously, tasting it. The wind also messed up Akito’s book pages, she uselessly tried to kept it still before turning her head in the wind way, it was at this moment she noticed him. “Shigure” He felt himself shiver in excitement; his dream was starting to get vivid again. She scowled, frowning her eyebrows in that way that he found adorable “You’re late again!”

_‘Yes, I know’_ he grinned and sat next to her and she closed her book. “What are you reading?” he asked, leaning to see the cover, but she covered it with useless force with her hands, they were too close and the sweet fragrance he had smelt earlier was stronger. His eyes moved on her neck where she had sprayed the tasty perfume. Good smell like this wasn’t good for his inner dog and he felt his throat going dry, he was losing control. “Nothing…” she looked aside; she was always doing it when embarrassed. Even now she had that blush around her cheeks and Shigure saw it as an opportunity to take the control of his body and senses back. “What? It’s porn book? You don’t have to be embarrassed, I’m a writer you know.”

She got redder “I know I have nothing to be embarrassed idiot!” she answered, agitated. It made Shigure even more curious, she wanted to hide him something and he wanted to know what. He wanted to know more about her but at the same time he did not want to get anymore closer to her. But his body acted on his own, and it wanted more. More of her reaction, more of her expression when she got annoyed or happy, more contact with her cool skin, more of her sweet scent. Without any warning he stole the book from her hands and she tried to fight back, but he was taller than her and held it high. “Shigure! You’re annoying” what did she want to hide from him that much? He wanted to know, and he tried to peck at the cover as she screamed louder. He wondered why couldn’t he stop himself to do stupid things with her and why it was so addictive. “Don’t be shy Aki~”

“Who are you calling Aki?!” she choked and tried to get closer. Shigure rose up to avoid a contact between his chest and her frail body. He took the opportunity to look at the book’s title and his smile froze, _Sigh-colored Summer_. He couldn’t help but refrain a satisfied grunt threatening to come out of his throat when he read the title of the book. It was_ his_. She was reading _his_ books. He was completely smug and he gently tapped the book on her forehead. “You little sneaky girl, you should have told me before, I would have given it to you” he laughed.

“As if!” she took the book back and turned her back. Shigure bit his lip to contain his smile to grow even bigger. “So, this is why you asked me my pen name? I didn’t know you were so shy.” Actually, he did, and it was thanks to it that she was having the best reactions. Being pride and shy at the same time. She was a walking contradiction, yet Shigure knew how she work and what kind of button he had to push to have the reaction he wanted. Though, she was always going beyond his expectation. Maybe that’s why she intrigued him so much. “I- I was curious about what kind of stuff you write, since you said you based some characters on the people you saw here…”

“And you wanted to know who?” she nodded and brushed anxiously her hair behind her ear. He invited her to sit, following her. “Did you find one?” he wasn’t teasing her anymore, right now, he just wanted to talk calmy with her. She simply wrapped her legs against her chest. “The girl who walk her cat…” she softly answered. “Aah~ You mean Nekoma-chan~ But, she is not in Sigh-Colored Summer” he put his chin on his palm, watching her twisting her fingers before sliding his eyes up to her face. “Well, did you like her?”

“…I preferred her friend Makoto.” She quietly answered and Shigure felt sweat on his back. Why was she talking about this character in particular. “I’m kind of mad you did not give her a little more development. She is clearly the most interesting character up there.” She agitated her hand in the air “And all the others character do is making fun of her!” he scratched his head “ah? Yeah, but most of the readers liked Nekoma and Matoko is really stupid, falling in love with somebody who don’t exist” He laughed. Matoko, had an accident during science class and because of a high-dosage, she ended up intoxicated and she started to see people. Since then, she started to see Shiro who he ended up to be an illusion. Yet even after knowing it, she still loved him. It was meant to be a comic relief or something to surprise the readers, but Shigure found himself regretting writing it, and when he asked to delete this part of the story or to rewrite it, Mitsuru had already handed the story to the printer. He did not know why he written it; he has been out of his mind.

“But her feeling were reals! But no, those dumbasses were just always making fun of her! They did not even try to understand her!” she angrily replied, making Shigure look at her in amazement. “She was happy with her feelings, even if Shiro wasn’t true, she was happy, it did not harm anybody. Even Nekoma did not even tried to defend her, isn't Makoto her friend!” He fixed the water ripples of the pond, listening with attention what she was saying. “What about the professor? Didn’t he told to her that she was going to makes herself sick with this story? Falling in love with an illusion…They won't have any future, Shiro is just something out of her imagination, right? Isn’t she just projecting her feeling on him?” He said that blandly, quoting what Hatori always told him about his feeling with Akito-the-goddess.

“That’s…” she was at lost of words. “Even so…Makoto was not unhappy nor mad about Shiro…She just loved him. It’s wrong because it out of common? Because she stood out of the crowd with her feeling? They don’t understand so why are they caring if it’s only to judge her.” Shigure distantly hummed. “But maybe it’s their way of caring” he defended himself, his voice low, but Akito did not notice, she was too angry at the characters to see Shigure closed face. “If they really cared about Makoto, they could encourage her to be happy, or at least, not trying to hurt her.” She turned brutally over him. “Don’t you think?”

He avoided her eyes, he felt like that he could be too vulnerable if he had the misfortune to see her expression, he was scared she could see through him and Shigure didn’t liked to be watched. “I don’t know, it’s just a book I’ve written for more income” he lied and he felt like a hypocrite. Wasn't he Makoto? Wasn’t he the girl who fell in love with an illusion? But, in another way, he was also Nekoma who was laughing at Makoto feelings. Shigure was conscious of how pathetic and hopeless it was to be in love with somebody you can’t see and it what important for him to know it. He once had read that characters have part of their creator in their DNA, and Shigure agreed. If Matoko was embodiment of his aimless love for her, then weren’t the others characters like Nekoma, the conscious part of him making fun of his feelings. Hiding it so people won't notice. Sure, he couldn’t hide them to Hatori or Ayame, they grew up together and they saw him through all the phases of his growing love.

“But, tell me Akito, why do you care so much about Makoto’s feeling?” he skillfully turned the table around and take the control of the situation back. Akito breath hitched and she had that look of deer caught in the headlight. All trace of her previous anger had disappeared. “You won’t tell me?” he urged and she leant back. “I…” Shigure eyes were glued on the smooth lip she was anxiously biting. It was good that she was anxious, she will try to change the subject of the conversation and they will never talk about it again. And so, Shigure will be free of this situation where he wasn’t controlling anything.

But Akito went always out of his expectation. “I somehow, understand Makoto” she said and Shigure could see her shivering. His eyes went wide. Was she actually letting him see her most vulnerable side? Why, why did she trust him like that, didn’t she have any sense of self-preservation. “I…People around me always makes fun of me and…No, they don’t make fun... They look down on things that I hold dear…Very important things and…Seeing the other characters making fun of Makoto reminded me” she stroked her arms, uneasy and she gathered all of her courage to look at him, she had a fire in her pupils that hypnotized him. It screamed a violence and a desire to be recognized out of the crowd. She was beautiful and even behind those unstylish, manly clothe and that frail body, she was a woman, in all her strength and he found himself craving for her. His hands were itchy, it wasn’t good at all. Nobody never made him felt like that, he had the sensation to be a teenager. He was not better than clumsy Kyo. He felt a laugh coming the deepest part of his guts, was he nervous. No, Shigure Sohma was never nervous, not even in front of something new like that. She clicked her tongue; thank god she misunderstood his laugh of nervousness for a teasing one. “Ah fuck! Don’t dare to laugh at me! You’re annoying, why don’t you listen me seriously?!”

_‘Oh, if only you knew how wrong you are Akito’_

“Oh no no, I listened and I understand your point of view” he hid his smile as her eyes narrowed, suspicious. “I really do.” He reassured and she let the matters go. “And, what do you think of Sigh-Colored Summer?” he gleefully asked. She merely rolled her eyes. “Too much sex, are you frustrated or something?” He burst out. So now they were going to talk about sex. Shigure was all for. “Well, no, but sex feel great! Everybody loves sex” he winked charmingly, raising up and down his eyebrows. He succeeded to make her scoff, a subtill grin on her lips before she shook her head in a blasé way.

“That’s just your opinion.” She just said, shifting her legs positions. “After all, men are all about sex.” Shigure leant down to his elbows, smug look on his face. “Oh, you just sound like a frustrated woman Akito.” She glared at him, grunting noisily. “I’m sorry if I don’t find sex that’s great, it's boring and it’s only painful, I don’t understand why people are making such a deal of it.” She groaned and Shigure stopped laughing. Did she say ‘painful’.

“Akito what did you say?” she tilted her head in confusion. “I said that it’s not that great?” she asked, probably wondering where Shigure’s light mood have gone. “No, about it being painful.” She blinked and she made a face, as if she bit a raw lemon. “Hum, yes, but is that important?” she shrugged and Shigure couldn’t believe it. “Akito, sex is not supposed to hurt, actually it should be the opposite.” he explained gravely, suddenly in alert for this girl well-being. However, she wasn’t making it a big deal like Shigure. “It does?” she asked, surprised.

“Oh god, but with who have you done it?” He massaged his temple with his fingers, he suddenly understood Hatori tiredness when he was acting like a moron to annoy him. Akito did not even know one of the most obvious things when it comes to sex. Where the hell has she been raised. “Hm, with a friend? Why, you want to do it too?” Shigure groaned. Really, she was proposing it right now. Anyway, it’s not like he could accept, she was such a stubborn girl that he was sure she will hug him during the act, and Shigure was sure she did not want to have a dog between her legs. “Haha, Akito, be serious. You never had somebody to explain you how sex works?”

She rolled her eyes, visibly not liking being scolded at “Well, I’ve been explained how to have safe sex, it’s that the most important” she replied, on the defensive. He mentally cringed and tried another approach. He took a gentler tone and wrap his finger around her arm. She jolted at the contact before staring back at him once more perplexed. “Wha-what are you do-” he interrupted her “I’m sorry, I did not want to sound like I was lecturing you, but this is important Akito, you must take care of yourself during moment like sex, especially if you have no experience…”

“I have experience, I told you I’ve done it!” she sharply replied “You're right, but, Akito if you said that sex hurt, doesn't that mean that the person wasn't able to take care of you.” His voice full of care forced her to listen with attention what he was saying. He wanted to said that there are people who loved pain during sex, but they did find pleasure in it. “Sex, whatever the relation you have with your partner, is something that should make you feel good.” She frowned. “But…He is my friend and we didn’t know it would hurt” she answered quietly “We never did it again since it was bad for both of us…” she looked down and Shigure rose her chin up, smiling at her gently “I see, but next time you do it, if it hurt too much, don’t force yourself okay?” she nodded and Shigure deep voice changed into a dramatic one “And it’s so tragic to see a girl who never came, I wanna cry!!”

She punched him on the shoulder and the usual good mood was back. They talked about trivialities for the rest of the afternoon. Shigure confessed his love for high school uniforms and Akito answered that she wasn’t surprised. “I’ve read your books after all” she waved her volume of Sigh-Colored Summer. “I’ve always lacked of the high school girls uniform in my young day, I was in an all-boy school.” He dramatically fake-teared and he felt a pleased tug in his chest when she laughed genuinely. “Oh, you poor, traumatized man.” He winked at her. “I know right? And now I wonder how you looked like in your own uniform.” He beamed and she flicked his nose, amused “Nice try, but sadly for you, I’ve done all of my schooling at home.”

Strangely, this discussion about Makoto and sex made them even closer than before, and they talked more about themselves. He told her about Ayame, just telling her that he was the owner of a clothes shop. When he talked about the man, he had imagined her in one of the dress Ayame had dreamed of. It was smelling bad for him; she was getting more and more important for him. The only good side was that she was feeling the same about him. They were still talking, Akito giving him anecdote on her home-school time when a ringtone interrupted them. It was the exact same from last time and Shigure felt suddenly disappointed. “Yes, I’m coming” she answered to the phone before rising up, waving her hand at him as she mouthed to him a _‘see you next week’_

Shigure watched her go, waving back and the fell back unto the grass. Fuck, he was already missing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter~ Don't forget to comment or kudos >w<


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, don't be surprised by the sudden porn attack at the beginning, Akito is just discovering what it means to be horny-

_Erika held back a moan, she wouldn’t let the professor know how much she loved his fat, talented dick. Her pride was involved, but why Saito-sensei was so skilled. She did not want to come but it each touch of his warm fingers on her skin made her squirm in pleasure. “Mn!! Don’t stop!! You dick feel so good ahn!” _

_He stopped suddenly and retired his cock, Erika almost sobbed from the missing feeling of his hugeness in her. “Wh-why did you stop, Sense-!” She moaned and he teased the place near to her clit with his thumb. “What, I thought you did not want to come, so I’m helping you” he smugly grinned “Or…Did you change your mind?” he pressed on her sensitive button and she started to cry. “Noo, please, I’m sorry, put it back I beg you, please, please pleaaase!! Sensei!” she whined and moaned when he entered again, he strongly went back and forth and she found herself at loss of breath. She planted her nails in the soft skin of his back. She felt a warm bubble in her bottom part of her belly growing and growing, then she _

“Akito, Ren is on her way to see you” Announced Kureno entering in the living room where she was reading. “Are you alright? You’re red, shall we call Hatori after her visit?” Akito quickly closed the book and hid it under her zabuton she was sat on. Urgh, how long has she let scene like this move her. It was so different from the experience she had before, she hadn't felt that aroused. “No, it’s alright, I’m good!” She quickly changed her sitting position in seiza and squared her shoulders. She breathed slowly to calm her heartbeat. Still caught between her previous lecture and the fear of seeing her mother. Since Kureno came into her live and moved out to live with her, Akito was almost not seeing Ren anymore. Maybe that’s why her mood improved during those last years. However, the idea of seeing her always made the girl shiver in fear.

Kureno sat in a corner in the room and she hear the shoji doors slid open. “Urgh, this room smells, can’t you take care of it Akito” said the wicked voice of Ren, waving her hand, as chasing the smell. Akito did not answered, if she dared to complain about the room placement and the humidity rotting the wood, she would probably slap her for talking back. “What a shame, you’re the future head of family and you’re living in... _That_” she sighed and took place in front of Akito. “Kureno, the tea!” she irritably orders. He nodded and left the room to get her a cup of tea. “Look even the people around you don’t know basic politeness.” She massed her temple and Akito looked down, watching her hands. She wanted to pluck Ren’s eyes out but her body was shivering way too much to even move.

“Anyway, it’s not the reason I’m here, because believe me, it does not enjoy me to see your face. But I guess I need to give news to the future chief” she exhaled a smug laugh and Akito gritted her tooth. Akito was not stupid, she knew that Ren held most of the power in this family and that she was doing whatever she wanted. Kureno came back with a wooden tray and two cup of tea he placed in front of the two women. Ren took hers and glared at her daughter with a cocky look. “I heard that you let a girl live at Kazuma’s, aren’t you scared for your cat and your rat, my son?” she sipped and Akito felt her blood froze. She already knew what the conversation would be about and she did not want to hear Ren looking down on the only that was precious to Akito’s, her zodiacs and the bond linking her to them. It was their emotional presence inside her that made her hold out against her and the domestics constant harassment during those years, keeping her strong. She simply nodded; she did not trust her voice right now. Ren laughed, a wicked one that made Akito chill “Oh maybe you don’t need to because there is no such stupid thing like a bond” she crackled “Did their curses break? Like your little rooster” She saw Kureno tensing from the corner of her eyes “Well…It was expected that they will leave you, you’re a waste. You were not desired to begin with. A god, you? Let me laugh…You should be grateful that I had hidden you from them, other way they would have been really disappointed”

“They…They are still cursed, it’s just that this girl knows about it, they’re not leaving…” She said in a breath, tightening the grip on her kimono. “And you still let her live here? You should have called Hatori, that’s why you can’t lead this family, you’re so useless…My poor Akira, if you knew, you would be so ashamed of him.” Akito just bit her lip, she hated her and she hated him. She hated both of her parents. The only one who loved her were the cursed and she couldn’t even see them.

She held back her anger; she felt Kureno’s eyes on her, and she felt a deep malaise. Even the face down, she knew what kind of expression he was having and she hated when he was doing it, this face full of pity. She just wanted to run away and to hide in her closet, it was the only place where Ren won’t follow her. In there she could let her tears out and be by herself until this horrible feeling passed. She will just need to think about the twelve and she will feel their comforting presences embracing her. Ren would never understand this, because she shared no bond with Akito.

The mother left when one of her favorites came to recall her next appointment and Akito fled to the garden the moment Ren stepped out of the living room. “Akito…” called Kureno with a small voice, stretching his hand to reach her shoulder. “I’m alright…Just leave me alone” She did not want to see him; she did not want to see the person in this world that reminded her that the curse was breaking and it was a matter of time before she will have nothing left. He stayed for a moment before leaving, the step of his feet noisily echoing on the wooden porch. Akito pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged herself, muffling her weeping noise. She tried to think about the rat jumping on her shoulder, rubbing its snout against her cheek, to the tiger and the dragon that would defend her, to the dog licking her hand to comfort her or the sheep and his fluffy wool. Doing it was the only way she had to feel better. However, the only image she had in mind was Shigure smiling at her kindly and caressing her cheek gently.

She pressed her lips against each other, she wanted to see him.

* * *

It has been two days since Ren last visit and Akito was still feeling down. She never felt so happy to be Wednesday before today, the cool breeze of the wind was easing the turmoil in her mind. Being outside of the mansion was always making her feel better. But she was starting to get dejected by the thought of coming back after, and waiting for another week to get out again. At the end, she was never free.

“What's with that gloomy face” Shigure gleeful voice startled her out of thought. “had a bad day?” He tilted his head and Akito couldn’t help a subtill smile growing on her lips. The bangs of his hair was waving softly in the wind, and it really annoyed her that he looked that handsome to the point she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. “More like a bad week, but whatever, it’s not important.” He sat next to her. “I know seeing me brightened your day~” he winked, using his stupid voice. She thought sarcastically that was a shame that he had the look but not the brain. She rolled her eyes “You wish.”

“I know it’s true though” she groaned. “You’re still late.” She said out of habit, making him snicker. They stayed in a comfortable silence, looking at the autumn foliage. She loved the warm colors of maple trees. She knew Japanese preferred the pink and fleeting cherry blossoms over the burning leaves, but they were much more mesmerizing. Her thoughts must have been visible on her face because Shigure called her “Hey, Akito, did you know that Fall was the poets season?” she blinked, confused, she never heard any of this before, and god know how much of classical books she had read. “No.” she shortly answered. He lifted a finger in the air.

“Well, it is in occident. You know that Japanese are fonder of spring. I mean, it’s understandable, the poesy coming from the ephemeral cherry flower is inspiring, but they didn't have it in Europe by the time.” Akito grunted, why would she care about Europe. “But, for the Europeans poets, autumn season was their muses. For the romantic movement at least, they said that the dying leaves reminded them the incoming death and the sadness. This season is the one that expression the best their feelings, what do you think about it?”

“I think it’s stupid, why should we care about what foreigners are thinking? Why are we even talking about that?” Shigure chuckled. “Hey, you are mean, I was just making conversation.” He had a hoarse laugh that made Akito having chill, she looked at his throat moving with each one of his giggles, captive. Her mouth felt dry. “Now that I think about it…Shigure, don’t that come from _Shigurezuki_?” He looked at her, visibly surprised “Yes, indeed, I’m impressed, Akito-chan know more than I thought” he put his fingers under his chin in wonder. “Of course I do, who did you think I am?!” she shouted angrily. He shrugged and made his habitual cocky smile “Don’t know, a girl who do flowers crowns during her free time?” She wanted to shout at him even more when something caught her eyes behind him. “Shigure, dog!”

“What?” He jolted, suddenly tensed out and she pointed something behind him “Shigure watch out for the dog!” He barely had time to look back that the animal threw itself on him and they tumbled down in the pond. The dog, a black, robust Akita ken was licking his wet and confused face. She saw the master of the dog running to him with the biggest look of apology on his face and tried to hold back his pet to crush him even more. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, it’s the first time it happens, most of the time she is a well-behaved dog.” Shigure gently waved his hand, saying that what happened, happened. He looked eased and Akito wondered why when he should have been totally mad instead. That mutt ruined his clothes.

She walked to him as he rose up and they both inspected his drenched clothes; she couldn’t hold back an amused face. The master of the dog apologized again, forcing all his muscle to hold back the dog that was only thinking about jumping on Shigure. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to do to pay you back”

“It’s alright don’t worry” he made his most charming smile -it infuriated her that he was showing his dazzling smile to somebody else, and removed his drenched shoes and flipped it to pour the water out before wringing his vest. They waited the man and his dog to be gone before he allowed himself to chuckle. “All my clothes are ruined” He laughed and she put her hand on his drenched shoulder. “You will go home?” she asked, trying to hide uselessly her disappointment, Shigure could read her like an open book. She really didn’t want him to go home, it was too soon and she didn’t want to wait another week before seeing him again. She pressed her lips in a tight line, she hated this dog.

“Hum… Should I go home, I wonder” Akito recognized that smug tone and her eyes narrowed. “Haww, I don’t wanna disappoint you, it’s a real shame for a man to make a girl crying you know” he dramatically put the back of his hand against his forehead and Akito had the sudden desire to strangle him. “Who’s crying?” she groaned and she crossed her arms. Shigure passed a hand in his wet hair and she saw a waterdrop glide the way down his neck. His white shirt was now transparent and she could see how his chest was formed under his shirt. The water made him look like even more attractive than usual and she felt her throat going dry, she wanted to touch....His sneeze made her snap out of surprise. He sniffed “Geez, I’m gonna get a cold, let’s go” he said looking at her. “Go? Where?” she asked, uncertain. “Well, buying clothes of course, I’m not going to stay all the day with wet clothes.”

Akito blinked and followed him as he took the path leading out of the parc. “Are we going at your friend's store?” He had told her about one of his close friends being a designer who owned a store where he sells his creations. “Uh? You mean Ayame?” Akito shrugged, Shigure never told her his name. “Ah! No way I’m not the target audience” he laughed charmingly “But you, you could be one of his clients, I’m sure some of his dress could suit you” he smirked.

“So…Where are we going then?” she tried to match his steps, walking quicker. “Hum, there is a store at a stone’s throw away from the parc. Let see what kind of clothes they're selling huh?” he turned to her and without a word, took her hand in his, bringing her closer to him. Her breath hitched and she looked down. She could feel how hot her cheeks where and she swore she heard him chuckle sweetly, but maybe it was just her. She felt the stare of people on them and she felt even more embarrassed, but when she tried to let go his hand, he tightened his hold. As they walked beside the stores, she had the sight of their two reflections on the window, she couldn’t get the feeling off that they were looking like a couple and it made her smile proudly.

Shigure pulled her “It’s here” he said as he opened a store glass door with his hand, letting go hers. “Welcome, can we help si- Oh my god, what happened?!” gasped the seller, a fine woman in a black skirt suit. Akito glanced around the place. They were the only clients and it was full of expensive suits. “Well, would you believe me if I said that a dog jumped on me?” he laughed, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. The seller stared bewildered before catching her composure back. “And I guess you want to buy a new set here” Shigure giggled stupidly as an answer. She sighed and asked him to follow her. Akito stayed behind, looking curiously at the different types of feminine model, she had never been in a clothes store and even less in one selling woman clothes.

“Ah sir! If you are interested in our collection, you should check for a suit over here” called the seller to Akito, showing a black pant to Shigure. Akito tensed, she was so used to be treated like a woman when she was with Shigure that she forgot that for the rest of the world, she was looking like a frail man. She bit her lower lip, deciding to ignore what the girl have said, she hated this sensation of uneasiness twisting her stomach. “Oh, miss, you’re wrong, this person over here is a woman.” Corrected Shigure, lifting momently his head from the shirts area. The seller apologized, blushing from embarrassment. Akito simply stuck to her first plan which was to ignore her. However, she couldn’t help but downing her head.

“Akito” called Shigure after long minutes “I’m going to try on the clothes, I’ll be right back” he pointed the fitting room on his right before leaving with a couple of pants and shirts on his arm. Akito stared a second before taking her attention back on the skirt. She hesitantly touched one, savoring the sensation of the tissue with her fingers. She tried to imagine her in it before chasing away the idea, she was too much of a boy for a such feminine clothe to match her. It was idiot. “Something took your attention madam.” Asked the seller beside her, bringing Akito back to reality. She merely looked at the seller “I'm just looking” she roughly answered and she saw the girl tensing her shoulders from the corner of her eyes. “Maybe you wish to try one of our pencil skirts, I’m sure this one would match your skin.” She quickly showed a black tailored exemplary.

Akito stood still in front of the seller, not knowing what to answer because she really wanted to try women clothes, but she felt unease by the thought. She could hear Ren wicked laugh and the servants whispers. She wanted to be a woman but she didn’t know if she could be one. She was excited and afraid at the same time. She gulped. What did she have to loss trying it? After all, nobody here knew what she did once back at the Sohma’s mansion. And out, nobody knew that she was possessed by the god or that she had to be a boy to fit this role. She was out, she could be herself, a woman, just Akito. “Madam?”

“I’ll try” she quickly answered, taking suddenly the skirt from her hands before she change her mind. She headed to one of the fitting room that Shigure had pointed earlier and entered in one. Now that she was alone with that skirt she wondered if she made the good choice, maybe it wasn’t too late to give the skirt back. She fixed the black fabric and then she put it aside before putting her hand on her belt and remove it. Her pants slid down to her feet instantly and she removed it without taking off her shoes. She took the feminine cloth and slowly, with an extreme gentleness, she slid it up along her legs. It was not different than when she was wearing her own kimono at home, but the tightness of the skirt form prevented her to do big steps. She took a deep breath for composure and walked out of the fitting room. Shigure wasn’t out of his yet, probably taking his sweet time to choose which pants would suit his buttocks the best.

The seller studied her appearance, walking around and Akito felt like naked. She wanted to bark at the girl and ordering her to stop but instead she bit her cheek. She remembered how many time Yuki argued with her being too easily upset and her habits to take it out her anger on people. “This skirt really suits you but…” she took a step nearer to Akito “Can I…” she indicated the black vest Akito was wearing, asking silently to remove it. Akito suspiciously took it off and without any warning, the seller plucked her white shirt in the skirt and stepped back. “Here! You are perfect!” she exclaimed maybe too enthusiastically. “Oh, please, wait a moment I’ll bring a mirror!” Then she left Akito alone in the middle of the shop. She studied her body form in this appearance, was it really fitting her? Or maybe that girl was just doing her job as a seller and she was merely trying to sell more articles than planned. She bit her nails anxiously, the more time passed, the more she was wondering about this situation. Everybody was taking her for a male, why a simple skirt would change everything. “Here Madam, thank you for your patience”

The seller put the mirror in front of her and Akito felt like there were no air left in her lungs. Her shirt that was always too lose to show the shape of her chest or her hips was now highlighting the curve of her body she never noticed before. Tears threatening to come out stung her eyes. She really looked like a woman. “I think we should add heels, it will slimmer your silhouette” added the seller, joining her hands together, Akito was not really sure about the heels and refused to. Instead she studied even more her reflection on the mirror. She took her eyes off only when she heard Shigure’s footsteps.

“I’m going to get those, how much do I own you?” he asked, searching money in his-saved-from-the-water wallet. “Oh, I will see, wait a moment please” bowed the seller. It was at this moment that he lifted his head from his wallet and noticed Akito. He stood still, his eyes widening and his face lacking its usual smile.

“I- She wanted me to try it.” She defended herself immediately, avoiding his eyes. He simply walked to her and looked at her. She dared to look him back, and they stared a each other. Without a word, he slowly rose his hand up to her cheek. She felt goosebumps at the simple touch of his cool palm on her warm face. And the way he was looking at her…Nobody ever looked at her this way before. It felt intimate and honest and so good. She felt they were in a bubble where only the two of them were allowed and that the rest of the world disappeared. She felt a longing desire to pass her arms around his neck and to kiss him, like in the numerous books she had read. Instead, she slowly cupped his hand on her cheek, her lips parted, showing her rising desire to do what lovers do and Shigure passed his thumb on her bottom lip, approaching his face to hers. Akito felt dizzy, euphoric and she closed her eyelids.

“Should I add the skirt?” interrupted the seller, coming back to them. Shigure and Akito parted away in a second. She turned her face away, embarrassed “No it will be alright” she sharply replied, irritation in the voice. “Are you sure?” the seller asked again with a hint of disappointment in the voice. “I said no, are you deaf?!” she shouted, angry, making the seller and Shigure jump in surprise. Akito fled back to the fitting room when she saw something that looked like regret on his face. She removed her skirt forcefully. “I’m such an idiot, fuck!” she muttered frustrated and threw up the clothe on the floor before taking furiously her pants.

She came out of the room and give the skirt back to the woman, Shigure was waiting for her, his wet clothes in a bag given by the seller. “You will really won’t take it? I could pay it for you…” he said in a low voice so only Akito could hear. She frowned and icily answer a “No.” and she opened the door.

“What a shame…You’re beautiful in it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter !! The angst is starting now~  
Damn, Akito must had looked like a business woman is that pencil skirt ♥ I live for Akito in skirt and dress ;w;  
Anyway, if you liked this chapter, don't forget to comment or kudos! Next chapter will be wednesday~


	9. Chapter 8

_As usual they were on the porch of his garden. She was looking vaguely at the distance and Shigure was lying next to her, resting his head on his hands, looking at the sky. He was bored. They didn’t have any interaction for weeks now. Even the sparrow around her brightness wasn't irritating him anymore. He wasn’t antipathic to her, but his feelings weren’t as strong had they used to be like all the last years. She didn’t even care for it, she could always play with the sparrow or the others animals that would sneak in his private garden, or look at the landscape in silence. And Shigure did not have the feeling nor the want to change it all. It was wrong, all of this was wrong, he loved her, more than everything, so why he wasn’t doing anything. Why was he laying on the porch instead of taking her in his arms, touching her warm and lightly skin. Why did he have that feeling as if he was forcing himself each time he tried. _

_His feelings for her were leaving and he was scared. He still felt care for her, but all the desire, the passion, the love he felt each time he was dreaming of her was starting to disappear. He felt uneasy, and for the first time in forever, he stood up and walked away of the garden. He left her, his conscience was telling him to go back at her, to not even try to dare to leave her alone but his legs moved by their owns. The wooden floor of the garden porch changed into a familiar path; the forever green grass had disappeared under mass of red maple leaves. He walked to the pond and he saw her, sat in the middle of the dying nature. She turned her head to him, her black bang flying in the air, and she smiled before frowning, he knew she did it out of shyness. _

_Shigure sat next to her, close, very close. He took her cool hand in his and they entwined their fingers. She rested her head on his shoulder and he rested his cheek on the top on her head. “You’re late Shigure…” she said and he genuinely smiled. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry Akito” and he kissed her forehead and then took her in his arms._

He woke up and stared at the morning sunlight coming from the window, then he hid his face between his two hands.

* * *

Hatori threw a quick glance at Shigure. The man was sipping his tea in silence with a bright smile on his face. It could have been habitual if only the man wasn’t staying quiet. It was so odd and it creeped the doctor. He wondered if he has found another way to get what he wanted. Normally Shigure should had tried to snatch Akito’s file or harassing him with questions, but instead he was just sipping his tea. Yet, Hatori thought he know better, he thought he understood what he saw in his friend's eyes and what he had in mind. “You won’t know anything Shigure” he said.

“Huh? About what Haa-san?” he smirked. “I’m being innocent and you talk to me as if I was a criminal, what kind of person do you think I am?” he cried dramatically, putting his head against the desk. “You are the kind of people playing with your suicidal editor nerves” Hatori removed his glasses and stared right at his friend eyes “just for fun.”

“But their reactions are so fun!!” He whined and Hatori rolled his eyes. “Sometime, I wonder why I put up with you” he muttered, putting his glasses back on and Shigure snickered “It’s because you can’t resist to my natural charm of course~” he said with a grotesque voice. “Don’t worry, I know that deep down you love me.” Hatori merely smiled and his eyes stopped on the photo on his desk. “By the way Shigure…” he said and his friend, noticing the change of tone suddenly became more serious, alert. “I did not thank you and Ayame for last week, when you took me at the second residence with the kids.”

Shigure simply smiled. “You have nothing to thank us for, and I wanted to get the chance to meet Tohru-kun, she is really nice, I understand why Kyo and Yuki are fond of her.” He played with the little bit of tea left in his cup, turning it around in his hands. Hatori did not know why Shigure would never say things frankly, was it to protect himself or to tease the others. It was probably a mix of the two. Still, Hatori was thankful, both of his friends taking him far away from the Sohma estate and trying to change his mind when Kana’s wedding was happening at the same time. Ayame proved to be a self-centered idiot by the time and Shigure a manipulative bastard, but they were always here to help him to keep his spirit up. Hatori couldn’t help but smile by the thought of his two friends. “Yes, even I is surprised to grow fond of her, she is easy to talk with.”

“Yes, every cursed are attracted by her, she is quite the girl, right?” Hatori nodded. “Well…Most of us aren’t used to have people knowing about the curse and still seeing us as human being.” None of them were used to the gentleness or the affection that Tohru was giving without thinking. Even in his patients, Hatori could feel the long stare from the Sohma of the inside family. The meaningful glare that were seeing him more like an animal, a beast. Or the braves voice who directly asked about his curse. Wanting to know more about his dragon form with a misplaced curiosity. But who could blame them? It wasn’t everyday they could meet somebody who transformed into dragon if they were embraced by somebody of the opposite sex. Ah, how disappointed they would be if they laid their eyes on his seahorse form.

“Tell me Haa-san…Does it still hurt? Not being with Kana?” Shigure had his eyes locked on his cup, seeing it without really looking. Hatori wondered if he asked it because of the longing he felt for the goddess he wasn’t allowed to see or because he really cared for his feeling. “Yes and no. Kana have been…An important part of my life, and I will never forget the time we shared but” he looked at the ceiling. “We broke up and she have no memory of me. It wasn’t her fault, the curse…It must be hard for the people who love us.” How many time Hatori had wished to take her in his arm and to savor her warm body against his. It was tiring to calculate each time their proximity when they kissed to avoid an accident to happen. Hatori couldn’t be mad at her for it. Ayame completely disagreed with him while Shigure stayed neutral.

He finished his cup of tea “But, it’s true that I miss sharing this feeling with somebody, it feels good to be loved and loving…” he smiled sadly, remembering the treasured time he had passed with her. However, his conscience was always telling him that he did not deserved this joy and that his separation with Kana was just paid back. After all, he has been one of the causes of despair of his fellow cursed. Erasing memories of every people who got near of them. Yuki’s friends, Momiji’s mother, the servants who were at the zodiacs side.

“Haa-san, there is nothing wrong to be loved you know.” Said Shigure, seeing what was in his friend’s mind like it was a movie. “Well, of course, I’m not as bad as you. But I’m not the best man neither.” The dog whined dramatically; his pride wounded “What? You’re so mean Haa-san, stop treating me like I was the worst man ever!” Hatori clicked his tongue “Well, you were not the one who had to take care of every heartbroken servants you had slept with just to try to get a way in the head’s house.” Shigure carefully avoided his eyes. Right, using poor girls in starve for love was not his brightest idea, but at that time, he had thought it was worth the try. “I was young Haa-san, there is prescription” he defended himself. “I was like…nineteen!” Hatori glared “You were twenty-two, you half-bald bastard.” The writer laughed out his discomfort, Hatori was always present to remind him his eyesores, for the worst and the best.

A ring echoed in the office, interrupting their conversation and Hatori picked up the phone. Shigure caught the word ‘cold’ and ‘Yuki’. He silty smiled, it could be a good distraction for this afternoon. “Yuki-kun got a cold?” he asked once Hatori hang up. “Yeah, apparently they were at high school when he transformed. Thank god, Hatsuharu was picking up with Kyo and they moved away from the others. Sound like Haru had gone black.”

“What was doing Haru at their high school?” asked Shigure. Hatori replied that it was because he wanted to see Kyo. “Well, couldn’t he wait until the new year banquet? He can be worse than Kagura, really” he chuckled. “I don’t know neither, but the thing is that I have to see Yuki, now” he sighed and looked at his watch “I will probably stay to eat lunch and watching how evolve his sickness until late afternoon, with his asthma, better be safe than sorry.” He stood up and prepared his bag. “Oh, can I go with you?”

Hatori stopped in his movement, surprised. “Shigure, don’t you have a meeting today?” he asked with genuine astonishment that felt like a punch right in the ribs for Shigure. He did not want to be reminded this. “Uh? No, what make you think that?” he made his most innocent smile. “Well…It’s just since this summer, you were always taken the Wednesday afternoon…So I thought you had something scheduled.” Oh, so he had noticed. Shigure was surprised that Hatori had said nothing. But even so with this opening, Shigure decided to not take the opportunity. What for? He already made his choice.

“Oh, no, no Haa-san!” He waved his hand, laughing “So, can I go? Sadly, I haven’t talked much to little Tohru-kun during our little trip~ haha” Hatori stared before nodding “Only if you promise to stay calm”

* * *

“Here is your tea Shigure-san” Said Tohru as she put the warm cup on the table. “I’m really glad to see you again!” She beamed genuinely and Shigure smiled back in a paternal way. “Aw! Me too Tohru-kun, last time we have been interrupted because of Kyo. Must be hard to be a scaredy cat. Righ Kyo-chan~ Good thing you didn't meet Jason” he teased and the young man shouted back, provoking Shigure laugh. “Here, here Kyo-chan, you’re gonna wake up Yuki-kun.” He sipped his tea with delight.

“Ah! As if I would give a fuck about that rat!” He replied back before walking away, extremely annoyed. “Ah, what a shame. They live together since kids, they should be like brothers” complained Shigure “Don’t you think Tohru-kun~” she girl startled at the sudden attention. “Oh, uhm… I wish that they were friends, it would be really nice” she shyly smiled “But it can’t be helped if they don’t feel that way.” She softly answered, and Shigure was surprised by the innocent and kind state of mind of the girl. She was the type of person who were gentle to everybody without expecting nothing in return. Somebody that Shigure couldn’t imagine being…

The image of a boyish woman trying to tie up sterns of red wild flowers together flashed in his mind and he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Yes, he wasn’t somebody nice at all. He cleared his throat, chasing Akito from his mind. “Yes, that’s true, but that’s such a shame isn’t it?” He sighed, putting his chin on his hand “You see Tohru-kun, Haa-san and Aayaa and I are inseparable since we were toddler!” Tohru eyes sparkled. “Oh! That’s true, I remember the first time I’ve saw you it was when Ayame-san brought you at the cabin! But you are friends since this long! It’s awesome!!” 

“Yes, we call ourselves the Mabudachi trio since that time, ah~ Nostalgia” he made dramatic expression of regret, with fake tears at the corner of his eyes. He was ready to told even more anecdotes when a cold wind came into the room and made him sneeze. “Oh! Wait a moment, I will close the doors” Tohru rose up and rushed to the shoji doors and closed them. He looked at the outside before Tohru closed the doors and wondered about Akito. Weather was starting to get chiller and she has a frail body. Before seeing her in that skirt, he had never noticed how delicate was her body, he should have, though. He remembered the touch of her fragile wrist under his fingers and the softness of her skin. He unconsciously fisted his hand.

Tohru came back next to him and she looked hesitant. She wanted to ask something and she did not know how to do it “Oh…By the way Shigure-san, I was wondering…” she glanced nervously, it startled Shigure’s interest and he tilted his head on the side. “I wonder what is the animal you’re cursed of!” she said vividly, before waving her hands “I mean, I’m sorry if I’m rude but when I tried to ask to Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun they did not answer…” Actually, they’ve told her that she shouldn’t get any closer to him and that he was a real can of worms. But she couldn’t tell it to him.

As for Shigure, he simply laughed, winking at her “Haha, which one do you think I am?” Tohru frowned her eyebrows, humming in wonder, he sipped his tea, waiting for her to make up her mind “Hmm…The monkey?” she answered in an unsure voice and Shigure spitted the tea out and coughed. The poor girl was bowing apologizing, red from of embarrassment. He simply made a gesture of the hand to reassure her. “Don’t worry, I was just…Surprised” he coughed one last time but he smiled to her nonetheless, closing one eye “I’m actually the dog.”

“Oh! I’m from the year of the dog!” she replied back, happiness and delight on her face “That’s probably why we are already so close!” he joked and Kazuma walked in the room. “Oh, Shigure-san, you’re here too.” He his eyes were full of surprise. “Yeah, I accompanied Haa-san” he simply explained “I wanted to talk a little more with our Tohru-kun.” He winked at her and she flushed. She was a cute girl, but too young and not for his taste. Her reactions were too innocent and he desired somebody who would flare up at each one of his teasing and sending him meaningful glare. Once again Akito’s black eyes and her cheeks red from irritation and embarrassment flashed in his mind his fingers tilted on their own.

While he heard with half an ear the conversation between Kazuma and Tohru, Hatori walked in the room too and put his bag next to the zabuton he sat on. “So, how is Yuki-kun?” asked Tohru with great worry, Hatori smiled at her. Shigure held a sneer, look like him too was fond of the girl. “He will have to rest tonight and tomorrow if he wants to get better. Look like it’s something viral, so no need to be alerted.” He reassured her. Kazuma put his hand on her shoulder “Ah, Tohru-san, I need to talk with Shigure and Hatori, do you think you could go to the store and prepare Yuki-kun a porridge for him to feel better while I’m with them?” The girl nodded and walked out of the living room, leaving the three men together. Hatori and Shigure shared a look. Kazuma probably something to say about the curse.

They stayed in silence, Shigure who had finished his tea minutes ago was now playing with the cup, waiting for Kazuma to talk. “Ren visited me the other day, she told me that Akito desire to shown Honda-san Kyo’s real form.” Hatori and Shigure shared a stern look, once again, they both know that Akito had probably nothing to do with this. She had never ever saw Kyo real form, so why would she let a stranger, Tohru, see it before her. No doubt that it was probably Ren's idea. She wanted Tohru to be disgusted with Kyo so she could be afraid of the zodiacs. She wanted to eliminate this little girl that they were growing fond of bit to bit, before she could become a threaten.

Hatori frowned and Shigure felt the need to take a cig “And, what are you doing to do?” he asked instead, turning the inside of the cup around his finger in a lazy movement. “I don’t know…I’m scared it’s a little too soon. I thought that…Maybe after winter. The new year is one month away.” Shigure closed his eyes. Most of the time, he was looking forward for new year, maybe because he hoped to have an interaction with the goddess behind the paravent and spying her through it. “Tohru already met a lot of cursed already, and Kyo and Yuki struggled with her family to keep her here. I think she really like living here.”

Shigure had a bitter laugh “Hah! She is probably the only one to be.” Kazuma had a forced smile. “The dojo is farer than your house and most of the Sohma who know about the curse don’t like to go here. They are scared of Kyo.” Kazuma said the latter in a low, regretful tone. “So Tohru don’t know much about how the family treat us all.” said Shigure, picturing the situation. “She knows only from what Momiji, Hatsuharu, Yuki and Kyo had let her know. But she naturally wants to help people. Since she had started to live here, Yuki and Kyo really calmed down.”

More reason for Ren to fear this girl, and more reasons for the cursed to hope she will continue to live here. Having somebody from the outside deciding to love them, it was all they needed for. Shigure threw a subtill glance at Hatori; Kana may had broken his heart, but he bounced back stronger. As for him, all that mattered was the goddess locked in her room. His heart became heavy as his doubt materialized in front of him, wearing a plain pants and low shirt, pouting in a way that made him chill in delight. “Still...You think she will be able to handle his real form? It’s going to be hard for Kyo too” said Hatori slowly. “He does trust you Kazuma, he may see it as a knife in the back.”

“Yes he might, but even so, I think it can be good for him.” He replied. “So…After winter” Kazuma merely nodded. Shigure took a breath, it was going to be a long year.

He excused himself a few hours later. The night was already falling in the sky. Akito had probably came back home. For a moment, Shigure wondered if she had cried, then, the chased away the idea. He has to forget about her. He must keep all his thoughts on the goddess. She was all he desired since he was little. He walked back home alone; the hands hidden in his haori. He was so used to walk by the path coming from the main gates that taking another way today felt strange. He arrived in front of his house and saw Mitsuru crying at his entry porch. He made the error of stepping on a branch on the ground that announced his presence. “Sensei!!!! Where were you?! Why are you always doing it?!!”

“Me? Oh, I was just wandering around.” He shrugged. “But, can you please move? I need to enter.” Mitsuru flared up. “Promise me you will give me your work!” Shigure accepted but once he entered in the gekan, he locked up the door quickly before she could enter. She banged at the door desperately, weeping in misery. He waited an hour before letting her inside. “Really Mit-chan, you could have broken my door” he complained and was glad to see the poor girl shivering from anger. However, her reactions were lacking in effect. He wished she could hit him in the shoulder or shout and insulting him, like would have done Akito.

He dropped his smile. It really needed to stop. “Here, you can take it” he waved the draft and she threw herself on it, wanting to finish her work as soon as possible. Shigure during this time called his habitual caterer. Yeah, he was going back to his routine. Without Akito.

That’s what he decided, and he fought the feeling of devastation growing in his heart. After all, he was the mad dog chasing after the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm scared I written Shigure too much of a bastard is this chapter ghujiok he is trying to not think about Akito but he can't so he's starting to do shit.  
Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter~ the angst is starting now o/ don't forget to kudos or comment please >w<


	10. Chapter 9

Kureno watched Akito looking at the window. She has been really depressed for the past weeks. Not that Akito was known for her being in good spirit, but at this period of the year, she was always delighted and excited, acting like an impatient child. The new year was coming and in two weeks and she will have her little joy to share a night in the company of her zodiacs, under the domestic’s watch, of course. So Kureno wondered what happened to Akito. Since the middle of fall, she started to be sad and to cry out of nowhere. The worst thing for Kureno was that she was telling him nothing. She was just keeping it all for herself. All she asked was _“Can we go to parc?”_ every Wednesday. For a moment, he had thought about using that ‘Wednesday outing’ against her, blackmailing her and saying that he wouldn’t drive her to the parc if she refused to tell him what was happening to her. But…he did not want to force her, she was already forced enough by Ren, and Kureno know that was just going to spoilt the friendship between he and she. So, he just hoped she will one day be telling him and decided to wait until she was ready.

She did not. Each day, her eyes were growing red and puffy from crying too much and he felt like he was back to middle school again, unable to communicate with her and be forced to see the girl sadness without being able to do anything to rise her spirit up. He wondered if he should seek help from Yuki, but the boy was only a high schooler, what could he do? He had his owns problems to take care of.

“Akito, I prepared tea, want some?” he said kindly, putting her _haori_ on her thin shoulders. She was cold. She lazily nodded, still sprawled against the window. “You shouldn’t stay too close to the window. You’re going to get sick.” She slowly turned her head to him before crawling to the table. She sat messily on the _zabuton_ and Kureno had to held a sigh at her shape and he put the cup on the lacquered table.

“Do you still want to go out today?” he asked worriedly. He was scared she fell ill; her skin was already cold as death and Hatori had to give her a shot the day before. “Yes…I…Please” she answered and she hid her face in the crook of her arm. Kureno rubbed her back and she started to cry. “Akito…” he voicelessly called, feeling useless in front of that girl's sadness he wasn't understanding. She shook her head and wiped her tears off with the sleeve of her coat. “Please, take me to the parc…” she begged, her eyelids still wet from tears. Kureno stroked her head and forced a smile that he wanted to be comforting “Okay, but only after a warm bath.” She nodded and drank her tea in one go. “Prepare my clothes, please” she stood up and walked to the door. However, she stopped and she hesitantly turned her head to him. “Kureno…You won’t leave me, right?”

He blinked, confused. Was that the reason why she was so depressed lately? “Of course Akito, as long as you need me.” He smiled genuinely and she pressed her lips in a tight line before disappearing behind the shoji doors. Kureno sighed, he was sorry that she was always preoccupied by the idea to be abandoned. Not that he couldn’t understand, her whole world was trapped between Ren and her domestics, those rooms and the deep feelings coming from the bond she had with twelves people she had never met. Kureno looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw his expression of anguish as he thought about that sad girl. Those bonds will be breaking away and will leave her alone without anybody to care…He was the living proof, if he hadn’t run to her house that day, she would be all alone. Maybe he should try to tell Yuki about what was probably happening in Akito’s head. He could try to call him this afternoon, when she will be in the parc doing only god know. _Ah_, but he will be at school...Maybe he should talk to Hatori. Kureno did not know how close the two of them were, but he was one of the most important people in Akito’s life, and updating her attending physician couldn’t be a bad idea.

He just hoped her mood would rise up for new year. He knows by experience that during that time, when they shared the same space, the cursed would be really sensitive to her emotional state. He remembered that year when Shigure and Ayame tried to tore off the paravent with the help of a black Hatsuharu. The domestics had rushed to fight against the boys and preventing them to approach the young girl. They all heard Akito screaming, begging to be with them when they took her away from the banquet room, and they wept back at her, or at least, their inside animal spirits did. This year have been a complete mess and all the cursed have been afraid that there wouldn’t be another new year banquet after that.

Kureno chased away those thoughts and get into Akito’s room to get her clothes. He was really scared she would get a cold and sorted out of her closet a pull-over and a shirt. By accident he reversed her precious box, spilling over all the treasures she had amassed since little. He swore and crunched to the ground to put everything back in the black box. The perfume he had bought her, light novels of Noa Kiritani, the toy figures gift in candy bags she had found, necklace, flowers and pages of overwritten paper, he all messily put it back in their place and slid the box as far as possible in the darkness of the closet before taking the clothes.

He entered in the bathroom; she was dizzying in the warmness of the bath. “Akito, I put your clothes here” he signaled his presence, tapping on the wooden furniture “tell me if you need a scarf, I can give you mine.” She rolled in the bath and hummed. “It won’t be needed.”

* * *

Akito held her coat closer on her body. She was shivering from the cold, maybe she should have accepted Kureno’s scarf. She tried to warm up her freezing fingers, blowing at them. She started to wonder why was she still waiting after so many weeks. Maybe she thought she could see him from far by chance. As if! It has been weeks and weeks she waited for him. The first time it happened, she thought he was sick, like a cold. It happens to her all the time, to be sick to the point she couldn’t leave the bed, maybe Shigure was in the same case. But, as the weeks passed, she understood that it wasn't just a cold, that something bad must have happened. Maybe he was at hospital, or he moved away from the city or…He did not want to see her anymore. The latter option came in her head in crooked and wicker whisper voice that sounded like Ren’s and was the loudest, the one echoing the most in her mind, because nobody would want to stay with her. And wasn’t it obvious? If he moved away, he would had told her about it, if he was hospitalized, she would had heard news about ‘_Noa Kiritani, the famous and well-renowned writer, caught in a serious accident_’ or something like that. But no, instead, he just stopped coming. She wondered what she did wrong. Was it because she had been meant with the seller when she had tried the skirt? Or because he found her too strange? Maybe he was just seeing her out of pity and he had enough of her?

All of those thoughts made her wept. She had enough of crying for a stupid man who was hurting her, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to see him so much. She wondered when she did become such a person, a kind of masochist, a kind of dependent. Maybe she definitely became mad, maybe that’s why he had left her. After all, they will all going to left her. Yuki wasn't coming to see her much and Kureno will leave her the day he won’t be needed. She just wished it could be the wrong people who will leave her, not the ones she held dear on. Maybe Ren was right and that she shouldn’t had existed. She pulled her legs to her chest and cried in her knees. She was glad that nobody came near of the pond, nobody would question her about her state, like was doing Kureno. Sometimes, she wanted to tell him, but what for? What will it change? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Shigure won’t come back and she will be alone.

“No way! Are you still waiting for him?!” She heard an old, grumpy voice from behind. She did not need to turn back to know it was the gardener’s voice. It would have made Shigure laugh if he knew that since he left, Minagawa, his real name-not Tarou like that stupid writer had surnamed him, was coming each time to scold her for crying for her ‘ex-boyfriend’. The gardener dragged his tools behind him. “For god sakes! You’re white as paper toilet, you’re going to get sick!” he rebuked “You’re like my granddaughter! She too is making herself sick for high school boys!” She rolled her eyes, as if she cared for his granddaughter. “Motoko always stay late at night, making plans about separing a witch and a named prince Yuki! Ugh, the young generation!” He continued to rant and stopped only when he noticed Akito silence. The girl was really depressed. “Com’on don’t be down, there’s plenty more fishes in the sea.” He muttered, kindlier, almost paternal.

Akito fisted her hands. She did not wanted fishes, she wanted Shigure, because since she was born, he was the only one who came at her because of who she was, not because of some damned bond or curse. When he talked, he talked to Akito, not the future Sohma’s chief and not the god. That’s why she wanted to be with him. He had been genuinely caring of her, or she had the impression of. The way he looked at her with that sweet smile, the way he taught her patience to create, his stupid jokes that annoyed her but that made her laugh nonetheless. She found herself ending longing for more and more. More of his teasing, of his gently touch on her hands, more of his deep laugh to his most high-toned whine. It was his character, but all of those parts of him he showed to her had felt personal, something just between them only. But maybe she was just a delusion of her part too. She had a bitter smile when she reminder that time he taunted her about the wreath. She was missing him so much. “Seriously, why do you care so much for a dude that leave you waiting in the cold.” Said Minagawa, sitting next to her, Shigure’s usual place. She almost shouted at him, but she remembered that is was her temper that might have brought Shigure to leave her. She gritted her teeth instead. 

She wished she would have fallen in love with somebody who would have stayed, she thought Shigure was this person. Turn out he was not. So why couldn’t she move on, she couldn’t put a finger on it and she was always wondering why he stopped to come. “What did I do wrong?” she said to herself in a whisper. However, Minagawa heard her and thought she was talking to him. “Well if you weren’t an aggressive prick or if you wore normal clothes for a woman, maybe he would have stayed” grumped the gardener, taking her arm in the air, pulling it by the sleeve. “Look at you! You’re more of a man than me with this look!” She pushed his hand away and touched her arm.

“My Motoko at least is trying to be enticing. She bought so many beauty masks and try to find the cutest ribbons to be noticed by the man she like, if you want something, you better work for it!” He scolded. “Crying for him won’t makes him come back!” she groaned and she stand up to shout at him violently “That’s it! I understand! He will never come back! Can you stop now!!” She wiped her tears off with her arm. “You don’t have any idea how important he is for me, nobody in my whole fucking life never acted to me like he did with honesty and care, without being forced by anything, he just came to me without knowing anything about me and expected nothing from me!” her voice broke. Even if she had ended being friend with Yuki, she was well aware that it was thank to the bond they became close. Kureno has been ordered to be by her side by Ren's wish, and he stayed out of pity. She knew it well. He won’t stay by friendship, not for her. It was what he was meaning by saying he will stay here until she doesn’t need him, right? Maybe it was also the case with Shigure, at first, he was only showing her how to do wreaths, but he had said that he would continue to see her even after the flowers had faded. She thought he would still continue to come after the flowers had died, she has trusted him. Yet, without any explanation, he disappeared. Why?

Minagawa scratched his head, visibly unease. “All right, he didn’t seem to be a serious man, he had that look, you see?” he did not say he was sorry, but he was without a doubt feeling guilty by what he had say. “I thought he was with you just for a quick fuck you see.” Akito cheeks went red. “He was not my boyfriend, how many times did I told you that! You deaf gramps!” Minagawa grunted “Watch your words young girl!” he told back and they shared an angry glare. “How much do you know about him anyway, what’s told you he was not playing with you huh?”

Akito eyes grew big as she registered what the man had say. She hated to say that Minagawa was right, but she did not know anything about him, and he did not know anything about her. After all, she couldn’t tell him she was the chief of one of the oldest and richest family of Japan. That would be showing off and it wouldn’t be exactly truth since Ren was holding all the powers Akito should have. All she did now was reading some documents that Ren was giving her. And she couldn’t tell him that she was cursed with the spirit of a god and because of it, she was locked since she was a baby in her mansion quarters and forced to act like a boy. After all, a head of family and a god should be man. No, she couldn’t tell him, she had wished sometime, but she couldn’t.

And then she realized…since the beginning they did not have any future together, even if he has stayed, what would happen. What if Ren came to know about his existence, would he still stay with her? And how could she explain how she met him, she was supposed to be locked in her house and to live as a man. What about the curse, how would he react when he would learn about Akito's bound with twelve others people? She sat back again, feeling the air leaving her lungs. She hated her life, she wanted to flee away and to never go back to the mansion. However, a voice in her mind begged her to stay with the cursed. Her head was a mess.

“He was making me happy, is that bad?” she just said and Minagawa studied her miserable shape and just rubbed awkwardly her back. “Com’on my girl, don’t get sad for it.” He tried to comfort, uselessly. He had never been good with feeling and it was still awkward for him to console for several weeks the girl that had used to pluck his flowers he worked hard to garden. “Don’t get sick over it…” he tried once again before rising up, dusting his pants. “I have work to do, even if it’s winter, I had to watch the area.” She let him stroke her head, pulling her knees closer to her body. She heard him walk away and stayed in that freezing silence. Maybe she should stop hoping for him. She had other matters to deal with. But she couldn’t help this pain in chest of being away from Shigure. She knew that she shouldn’t have fell in love, she never wanted to.

The good thing was that now Akito knew she was different from Ren when she was in love. For a moment she wondered if it was how Ren was always feeling and if what was why she was so mean. Akito don’t have any memories of her father after all. Yet it wasn’t enough for Akito to feel any kind of compassion or any other feelings than hate and fear for the person who was her mother. Akito decided that she was never going to change her feeling toward Ren, it was her fault, she shouldn’t have made her unhappy her whole life. She shouldn’t have locked her away from the outside and forcing her to live as a man. She remembers the painful breasts binding Ren forced her to wear daily, the hunger and the cramps bending her body in half. If she has been allowed to live as she wanted, Akito was sure that she would had never know this pain. If she was been allowed to live as she wanted, she would have known how to act with people, how to keep people you hold dear, and maybe, just maybe, Shigure would still be by her side.

She exhaled sadly. Maybe it was fate, her twelves cursed should have been her first priority and what was happening was just a reminder. She shouldn’t have forgot; it was her punishment, it was karma. Yet even for the pain she was feeling now, the few time she shared to spring until fall by his side, she has been happy and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Maybe her feelings for Shigure will never change and she will be for the rest of her life longing to see him again, but she did not regret it. She moved her hand in search for her phone to call Kureno when she felt a warm and firm hand on her shoulder. She recognized its warmness and she was scared she was dreaming. She turned her head and couldn’t held back her tears.

Without thinking, she slapped him. She thought she would have needed to hit him even harder to feel relieved, but a simple slap had been enough. She thought she would have been angrier or would have screamed at him until her throat would hurt when she would see him again, but now that he was here, all she felt was relief and joy. She threw away all the thoughts she had about making the zodiacs her most important thing in her life, at the displeasure to the god living in her; she was such a storm of emotions that she felt like crying again at his sheepish smile. “You’re late! Idiot!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh, this chapter was a mess to write. I hope it wasn't too confusing for you ;w;


	11. chapter 10

_They were holding each other hands, fingers intertwined, him leading her to his house. They were both euphoric, giggling like children. They passed through the parc and he took her to the Sohma mansion, the road was empty and he showed her his house, pointing it from far. They entered by his deserted garden and Akito took him by the collar to kiss him forcefully. He moaned in her mouth and she stuck her chest against his, putting her arms around his nape. She stopped the kiss only to show him a cat smile and she teased his skin with her fingers. "What are you waiting for showing me your room?" she sensually whispered in his ear, before biting it. He trembled in excitement, it was his weak spot._

_Shigure smiled cockily back at her. He passed his fingers through her hair and pulled them to kiss her again, mouth open, and took the control back. He felt her nails scratching his arms through the cloth of his shirt. He let her take her caught breath back, she was trembling, sensitive from the stimulation and the heat he awoken in her. He put his palm on her waist, sliding his room door open. "Make yourself home" he finally answered, a satisfied expression on his lips that she pecked away with a quick kiss before entering. He closed the shoji doors behind him._

_Their eyes met again and his breath hitched. He walked to her again and this time, he worked on unbuttoning her loose dark vest and threw it behind him. They kissed again, she caught his lower lip between hers, tasting it and the tent in his pants was starting to bother him. As if reading his mind, she downed her sly hands on his belt and zipped down his pants. He couldn't refrain a moan when her cool fingers wrapped around his hot-heated cock. "Look like somebody is eager" she chuckled charmingly. He tried to kept his breath under control and removed her shirt that was hiding her small breasts. That foxy girl, she had nothing under it and Shigure felt his mouth going dry as he caught the sight of her pinky nipples. If she looked flat under all that pile of masculine clothes, her two breasts were pointing in proudness, making themselves present. He bent and took one of the pink tits in his mouth and she whined his name. He was so hard and he wanted to taste more of her. As he sucked her breast, one of his inquisitive hand traveled down to her pants and removed the belt as well, her pants slid directly along down her legs. Her panty was plain beige, it was contrasting with her milky skin. Shigure found something indecent in tearing all those masculine shields off her body. Right now, she was showing that femininity to him only and that made his breath hitch._

_He put himself on his knees and kissed her skin down to her belly. She caressed his hair and as the dog he was, he groaned in pleasure. She was sending him a silent order by her eyes and he executed himself without a second thought. He licked her through the panty and she screamed in delight, encouraging him to continue. Her body bent down in half, holding his head still against her more sensitive part. He put his palms on her buttocks and slid his fingers under her panty and removed the last part shielding her intimacy. She was pulsing and wet. Shigure dared to caress her entry with two fingers before teasing her clit. She screamed his name again and, all strength of her legs leaving her, she fell on the ground, trembling. "Gure…" She tried to call breathlessly. He smiled charmingly and kissed her._

_Akito framed his face with her hands, keeping his mouth still against hers. He pushed her on the futon, not leaving her lips and parted her legs apart. Her hands slid to his back and she gripped his shirt, almost tearing it with her nails. "Remove it" she ordered with her red cheeks and wet mouth. Shigure chuckled and straighten himself. He didn't take the time to unbutton it like he did with her shirt earlier, instead he rolled his shirt up. Mesmerized she caressed the muscle of his chest with her nails. Both of their eyes were dark from lust._

_He positioned himself down on her, his chest to hers, rubbing himself against her. She begged for him to enter. "Quick, please, Shigure!" and he found himself groaning, satisfied to see her undone by and under him. It was perfect. Everything was perfect and he wished to never wake up._

But the sun was merciless and it tore Shigure away from his wonderful dream. He rolled in his futon in a fetal position. How many weeks since the last time he saw Akito? It was like an eternity, he hoped it would have been enough to forget her, and yet, she was even more present in his dreams. He was not giving a fuck about anything else, he just wanted to be with Akito. The pain in his guts and his chest proved it. He swore in his pillow.

* * *

Hatori opened the door of his practice and was not surprised to see Shigure at the window. He was looking outside with an empty look, a cig at his hand. It annoyed the doctor, first because smoking in his office was uncalled for, and second because it was unhabitual for Shigure to act like that way. Habitually, Shigure was like a jumping puppy at this period talking about the incoming new year banquet. However, Shigure have been starting to act oddly a few weeks ago, so he wasn't surprised.

The strangest thing here; not only he was not caring about the new year, but it was like the goddess had left his mind. Hatori found himself to be the one bringing the girl in conversation and Shigure looking him with a neutral look, as if the bad health of the woman he claimed to be in love with was the least of his problems. Well, of course, when he had told him about her recent depression. Sure, he had been concerned and asked him questions to know how bad she was feeling, but the care in his voice was different, changed. In a way Hatori was glad that Shigure stopped to be obsessive about her, but in the other way Hatori couldn't ignore his friend down mood. He had noticed that he stunk of smoke more than usual. Something happened to Shigure and Hatori did not know what, and it bugged him. He was so used to have him trying to stole Akito's health file and trying to take subtill information that his silence was almost painful for Hatori. This change was not perceptible at first, but slowly, Hatori noticed that his eyes and attention was drifting away, that his petulant laugh disappear for quiet hum when he answered.

Hatori walked to the pathetic dog and put his hand on his forehead. "What?" he asked lazily. "You've been acting strange for some time now so I wonder if you don't have fever." he removed his hand "Look like it's true, idiots don't catch cold." Shigure smiled. "You're so mean Haa-san, for once I was not bothering you." Hatori lifted an eyebrow and took the cig between Shigure's fingers off and threw it. "My ass, don't smoke inside, people come here to get treated, not to get cancer." He sat on his chair. "Hey, you smoke too Haa-san" He talked back "Not in my office."

Then, he stared at his friend. "Shigure…What's wrong?" he finally dared to ask, dropping the bomb. Shigure looked aside, smiling "Nothing 's wrong Haa-san, what makes you think the opposite?" he replied and Hatori clicked his tongue. "Shigure, don't try to lie to me, you've been moping for weeks and I want to know what's in your mind." The writer scratched his head. His mask of stupidity fell off. "It's not…I mean" he sighed and fixed the wall. Hatori could see he was weighing the pros and cons.

"You remember the day you told me to meet new people?" Hatori blinked, perplexed. "No, you probably don't, it was just a speech of words for you." The doctor made a face, feeling guilty. "It's okay, to be honest, it would have been if she hasn't been in trouble." He laughed bitterly and passed a hand in his hair. "Really, all of it just...happened"

Hatori frowned. so Shigure met a girl and he probably felt something for her, care or if the doctor dared to think, something like love "She was the one you were meeting all this time when you said you had appointment?" he asked, unsure. Shigure nodded "Yeah, she wanted me to teach her how to do wreath, she was so cute, she wasn't patient enough and always ended to ruin the flowers" Hatori saw fondness in his friend eyes. "What happened with this girl?" the man groaned in his hand. "I've stopped seeing her, I was sure it was going to be temporary…" he said lowly, playing with one of Hatori's pen. "Look like it wasn't" he added, shrugging carelessly, but Hatori could see in his eyes regret. "Why don't you go to see her then?"

"I don't know if she is still here" Hatori blinked "You don't have her number or something?" asked the doctor, stating the obviousness of the situation "Hm…You see, our story is like in movies" said Shigure in a small voice, as if he was going to be scolded at. "You mean?"

"We were only seeing each other the Wednesday?" he answered, unsure of his friend reaction, and he was right to be. Hatori was completely annoyed "What the- Are you serious? You thought you were in one of your stupid novels?!" his pinched his nose and Shigure looked down. "So was like a little secret between the two of us, after all we were going to see each other the next week" he passed his hand on his face. "There is no way she is still waiting for you, any people with brain wouldn't wait for an idiot like you for…How long?"

"More than a month." Answered bitterly Shigure. "I know that was not one of my smartness move." Hatori glared. "You mean, smart as sleeping with almost every servants of the Sohma's mansion to try to get into Akito quarters?" the writer turned his head away, not ready to face the judging look of his friend. "Goddammit Shigure, there were a girl that you are genuinely interested in and you decided to not give yourself a chance because of the idea you have of Akito?" the man groaned a "yes, I know" and hid his face in his hands. "I was scared…"

"Oh? The great Shigure, manipulator on the run was scared. This girl must be special." The dog laughed. "Yes, she is and I regret, really Haa-san. But it's scary, I promised myself to always love Akito, yet she arrived and she just had to scratch a gardener hand and it changed everything." Hatori decided to ignore the part about the gardener and continued to listen. "She is from the outside, so she doesn't know about the curse, so even if I want a future with, will I be able to? Really, the idea she had all her memories we shared together erased fright me out!" The doctor looked at his own fingers; Shigure just hit one of his old wounds with Kana. He had already grieved about their relationship, but he had been through what his friend was feeling. Being with somebody who is from the outside is hard. Yet, a little high school girl flashed in his mind and Hatori cleared his throat. "Kana case is not a fatality."

He put his hand on his friend's "What if she still does? Waiting for you?" he said, voice filled with encouragement. If Shigure was acting that way, that's mean she counted a lot for him. "It's probably not over, right?" Shigure smiled a bit "I never thought that between the two of us, you would be the optimist one, Haa-san." The doctor looked right into his friend's eyes. "Shigure, this could be good for you, especially if she is capable to handle your character." Shigure put down the pen "But what if she doesn't forgive me? Haa-san, tell me what to do so she could give me another chance?" he begged with a high-pitched voice, his cheerful character back. Hatori went agape "How the hell I can? You have more experience with girls than I do." He groaned, putting fingers on his temple.

"Which experience? The only girl I've ever loved is locked in a room since she is a baby." He carefreely answered, as if it wasn't a big deal. But Hatori knew better "What about Mayuko or the servants?" asked Hatori, crossing his arms. "I said the only girl I've ever loved Haa-san, the others were… distractions." The doctor held back a 'bastard' and a 'You reap what you sow', it wouldn't help the situation Shigure was in. He hoped that this girl will teach him later.

"Please, Haa-san, I beg you! For our friendship!" finally whined Shigure, clapping his hands together in some pray. Hatori rolled his eyes, Shigure knew one and thousand way to makes himself get forgiven, he is a writter and he already made himself a name in romance literature. No Shigure was just trying to find a way to annoy him. "Just…Tell her what happened and…What about flowers?" replied the doctor, it was the most common way to apologize. Look like the answer satisfied Shigure. "Flowers, exactly Haa-san, just what I was thinking" he nodded and Hatori was close to strangle him until he would hear his neck crack. _'If you knew what you were going to do so, why did you ask me?!'_

"So, when we go?" Said Shigure, rising up from his chair, Hatori blinked. "Excuse me, what?" he looked at his friend, bewildered. "Well, you accompany me of course?" he dared to shrug, as if he stated the most obvious thing in the world. Hatori had to take a deep breath. "I have patients today Shigure" he explained, succeeding to stay calm. The dog whined, dropping his face against the desk "Haa-san, cooome with mee! Just for buying flowers! I need advice!" he continued to whine until Hatori finally accepted to go with him at the florist shop.

* * *

Shigure knew he annoyed Hatori by forcing him to go to the florist in the city, just that one next to the bookstore, or more exactly, Mayuko's parent bookstore. The holiday had already started, so he knew that she would be here to help them. At least, he wanted to show gratitude toward Hatori to cheer him up about Akito's matter.

Exactly like in a movie, just the moment they were going to walk into the shop, Mayuko exited the bookstore to threw up water. Shigure just had the time to sneak in the store while Hatori and Mayuko notice each other and started to talk, a secretive smile on his lips. Maybe he won't get Akito back, but Shigure felt comfort in the idea that Hatori might rebond with Mayu.

There were not a lot of flowers in the shop. It was expected after all, it was December. Red flowers caught his attention, he remembered Akito fond eyes when she was looking at the reddish leaves of maple during fall. He looked at all the different species of flowers, picturing the bouquet he will give her, in the hope she would be waiting for him in the parc. The last weeks have been a full of regret, every day he just wanted to see her again. Akito stole all the attention the goddess used to have in his life. Not only in his meaningful dreams, but also when he was writing, he was wondering if she will read this one when it will be published, what would be reaction from this character action in the story, the face she would do. Even when he was walking outside to get his meal or when he was watching TV, his eyes were always attracted to frail, boyish-looking girl. He had the impression of to be back to the time he was still a child, wondering what the girl that Ren had locked in what doing during her free time. But now, the girl of his dream had a face.

He unconsciously stroked a petal of the red flower. "Oh, you are a lucky one sir, those are the last camellias of the year" said the florist from behind him, an old smiling woman who pointed the flower that Shigure had in hand. "Most of the time they wither in November, but those lasted. Should I wrap them?" Shigure looked for a moment before nodding and sending a charming smile to the old lady and walked to the counter. He heard the doorbell chime, announcing that Hatori and Mayuko had stopped their discussion, _'so quick'_.

Hatori glared at him "I see you already made your choice, look like you did not need me." He crossed his arm and Shigure carefreely beamed. "Ahw, come on, look the flowers I've bought, aren't they beautiful?" He showed the camellias, wrapped together by a green gingham pattern ribbon. Hatori clicked his tongue "You just wanted me to drive you here isn't? You don't care for my opinion." Shigure made his most innocent face. "What, but not at all, I just didn't want to bother you when you were talking with Mayu-chan" he said in a way that sounded like a lie and he knew Hatori thought that he was lying. "Take your damn flowers and don't annoy me anymore with this story."

Shigure thanked the lady and took the bouquet. He followed Hatori to the car. "What are you going to do now? See her and give her the flowers? I hope you thought about more than that." Said the doctor, back on his seat. "Well I will apologize I guess, but she will be pretty angry" he smiled fondly imagining her red cheeks of anger and her furious eyes on him. "You will try to go out with her?" finally asked Hatori, making Shigure's smile fell. "with our curse? No yet…I will try to work on it, but not now."

It was a risky bet, Shigure was well aware of that. Hatori and Kana have been different since Kana fell into Hatori arms by accident, he couldn't hide her the curse and she have been aware of it all the time she had been with him. The curse did not mind her, it was the consequence coming from it. The pression coming from the inside Sohma family was really scary. For a moment, Shigure had a though for the young Honda girl. He hoped that she would be stronger than Kana.

However, trying to start a relation and not being honest with Akito wasn't the best idea, but he felt like he had no choice. He looked through the window and called his friend "Can you drop me there?"

Hatori stopped and examined the parc entry. "Here?" Shigure nodded "Yeah, wish me good luck" he took the bouquet and came out of the car, he turned back and waved at his friend, looking the car drifting away. Once Hatori was out of sight, he downed his arm and his face became grave. Buying flowers was all nice, but was will he do if she wasn't here, if she stopped to come too. It was going to be over and he would never have the chance to see her again. He frowned and took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his lips before walking into the garden, he had to be sure. His legs brought him to the pond by their own, knowing the way. As he was getting closer, he felt a hand brutally shaking his shoulder "Hey you!"

What wasn't his surprise to see that old Tarou. "Don't make that's stupid face do ya'!" the gardener scolded, making Shigure even more perplexed. "Aren't you ashamed, breaking girls' heart huh! Making them cry!" he went agape, totally at lost for words, just a second ago he was ready to face the consequence of his actions, in hope that Akito was still here for him. and now he was being scolded by that dear Tarou. "I'm sorry?" Shigure answered, unsure, but it made the gardener being even angrier. "Don't say it to me! Say it to her! she had been waiting for you for weeks!"

Shigure eyes went full when he finally understood what the man was saying and he couldn't help a smile. Akito was here and she waited for him. He would almost have kissed the grumpy man but he wanted to see Akito, here, right now, so he walked confidently to the pond. She was here, sat on the grass as usual. He stood here, looking at her. She looked so lonely by herself, surrounded by dead trees, her short hair waving in the cold wind. He felt the need to take her in his arms so she wouldn't have this lonesome expression anymore.

He walked quietly to her and as she was rummaging in her bag, Shigure put his hand on her shoulder. She froze in stillness before turning her head to him, he saw a glimpse of sadness that made his heart miss a beat before he felt a sharp pain on his cheek. She just slapped him. "You're late! Idiot!"

He touched absently his cheek, staring at her and her wet eyes, tears still stuck in her eyelashes. "Yes, I'm sorry" he simply answered, because there was nothing else to said. He had no excuse. Her lips were twisted in a strange expression, mixed between anger and sadness and she seemed like to be on the verge to cry again. "I'm really sorry Akito" he repeated, wiping a tear off her right eye. "Look" he handed her the bouquet; she blinked, perplexed, her eyes shifting between him and the red flowers before she hesitantly took the bouquet. "Those are the last ones of the year" he explained, putting a drenched hairlock behind her ear. Shigure felt a bit guilty thinking how much she had cried because of him, strange, he never felt guilty before. "And you think flowers will fix everything?" she grunted. Shigure laughed uncomfortably, avoiding her glare.

"why did you leave?" she said, frowning. And Shigure was mesmerized by her appearance, her irritated red eyes wet from tears was clashing with the whiteness of her skin, the wind playing with her black hair. Shigure thought that if they were longer, she would almost look like a princess. "I had a lot to though…I'm sorry, really, I won't do it again." He said, but he saw that she did not really believed him. Of course, if he had already left her once, who could tell if he wasn't going to do it again. He stared without a word "here, give me your phone?" he said after a moment. She reluctantly gave him, wondering why he asked it. He entered his number in "Here, you can call me whenever you want, anytime." He had a slight smile as he handed the cellular back; she stared at it for a moment before relaxing her shoulders and putting the phone back in her bag. She stroked a camellia's petal in thought and he let himself lean on the grass.

"You know, Tarou scolded me" he said, his voice more joyous than before. He heard her sight by the nose. "His name is Minagawa, and in opposite of some people, he was here." Shigure cringed in a smirk. "Really, who would have thought that man comforted you, I heard you cried." She did not answer, preferring to hide her expression behind the bouquet. Shigure made a face, he really broken the trust she had on him. He wrapped his finger around her arm and she jolted. "I really won't do it again, I promise, next time I can't come I will tell you." He said and she cried. She tried to leant against his chest, but he held her back just before the impact and framed her head instead. "I'm here, don't cry…" he softly reassured, wiping her tears.

"You left me" she said between sobs. "I know, I'm sorry" he replied back, sorry. She sobbed even more and coughed. He stayed with her until she calmed. He had put his vest on her shoulder when she started to tremble. "Here, let's get somewhere warmer. You're going to get sick." He took her hand and leaded her out of the parc to walk her in a _kissaten_. She had more color back on her face when they got their tea served. "Feel better?" he asked. She grunted "Who's fault I was in that state to begin with?" she glared and Shigure made his most innocent smile. She held grudge long. "I said I'm sorry, what can I do to do to makes you believe me?" he whined. She pouted and sipped her tea, not answering. "For new year…"

"hum?" Shigure was perplexed by the sudden change of subject. He winced internally, that's true that the new year happens to be a Wednesday this year, but Shigure did not mind, the banquet will start in the early night, just after the sunset. "Yeah, what it is?" he asked. "I don't think I will be able to come, but…I will be here the week after." He mouthed a 'o' and scratched his ear. "Well, we can see each other another day, it doesn't have to be only the wed-"

"It can only be the Wednesday" she interrupted sharply, not letting him finish his phrase. She did not explain herself neither and Shigure wanted to argue with it, but it wasn't judicious to not fight just after the mess he done. He will have to wait to try to change her mind, or even try to investigate. He just sighed and drank his tea, touching her foot with his when she started to show uneasiness by the situation, telling her that it was okay and he won't leave her again. She pouted and the sharp mood became more casual, like it used to be.

He walked her back to the entry of the parc and she thanked him for the flowers. Shigure wanted to kiss the shy smile on her lips but instead, he just stroked her hair as she was leaving. He watched her from far getting in a branded car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading this chapter and following my story ♥ the next two chapters are the new year banquet~  
don't forget to comment or to kudos if you liked this chapter ;w;


	12. Chapter 11

Hatori tore the _’Wednesday 17 December’_ paper off his daily wall calendar and opened his agenda. He massaged his temple when he saw that he had to visit Akito today. He liked his goddess, the attachment he felt with her was special, it was useless to argue against it. However, as a doctor, he felt like he was failing on her. The first time he had the chance to see her since she was a baby, he had been alarmed by how pale and thin she was. He was not stupid and he known that she had been starved to keep that formless body. He saw the tight bandage around her chest and he had to force her to remove it, before explaining Ren why she had to let Akito chest breathe, letting her ‘son’ eat or going out. Ren had been mad and almost aggressed him, screaming that monster like him don’t have the right to give people orders and that he should know his place. When he examined Akito a few days after, she had read marks and bruises on her body. He stopped informing Ren about Akito’s health and preferred telling Kureno.

But more than the fact that the girl was abused by her mother, her mental health was the worst. It twisted Hatori’s guts that knowing the only way he had to make her smile was to tell her about the twelves. She was almost innocent. “Kureno told me that you don’t transform into dragon? Is that true? How happen?” she had bombarded him with questions, her eyes sparkling when she was in a happy day. “Tell me Hatori, do you feel our bond?” she asked, with a quiet voice, the sad days. It was during those particular days that Hatori found her skin to be full of bruise and her eyes red from irritation of crying too much. He would take her in his arms each time and recomfort her. “You are not going to leave me, right?” she would make sure, and each time he would repeat her that “no, I won’t leave you Akito, it’s alright, don’t cry.”

Hatori thought she was doing better lately. Usually during summer, she is a grumpy mess because of the heat, but this year, he was shocked during examination to hear her hum songs. It was the same stupid tone that Shigure was singing in purpose so Hatori will have the song stuck in the head and it had kind of annoyed him beyond reason, but his heart was beating in joy by hearing that joyful hum of hers. However, in late fall, she became depressed again. It was worse than before, because this time Hatori did not know what provoked this change. Ren was barely seeing Akito anymore, so she couldn't abuse the poor girl; Kureno often told him how much she was crying and that she preferred to lock herself in the bathroom instead of taking her lunch. Hatori might have thought too much about it, imagining the worst scenario that brought him to inspect her wrists, searching for any cut, he couldn’t tell what was in her mind but at least, he could reassure himself. She was just depressed, not suicidal. Akito would never…as long as she has that fire in her pupils; as low as it was during her depression, it was still here.

He heard a knock at his office door and he did not even ask to himself who it was and opened to beaming Shigure. “Hello merry sunshine, look like things went smoothly yesterday” Shigure laughed goofily. “Exactly!” He answered joyfully “she slapped me, what a woman!” he said, satisfied and taking his usual place on the chair. Hatori lifted a brow, it was the first time he saw somebody getting happy by a slap. He felt like a deja-vu when the dog had received the same treatment by a maid. However, he had been whining in his office, asking for a bag of ice. “Had she liked the flowers?” Hatori asked, filling the boiler with the water for tea. “Yeah, I think she did” he replied. “You know, she has been actually waiting for me every week” he had a soft smile that Hatori only saw on him when he was talking about his dreams with Akito.

“Ah, now that I think about it” Said Shigure, interrupting Hatori’s thought “I should already prepare a little something for Christmas.” He said as Hatori sat back on his seat. “You’re going to freak her out, you’re not dating her.” Shigure smile grew wider “Yep, exactly, that’s the point Haa-san” the doctor massaged his forehead, he will never really understand how this man's mind worked. “Are you looking for another Mitsuru to bully?”

“Oh, no, Mii-chan would just cry, but my girl starts to get angry if I tease her, her reactions are adorable~” Hatori stared for a moment “I think she going to slap you even more in the future, and that’s all you deserve.” He grinned. “I’m not going to watch after you if you’re going too far.” Shigure made a dramatical gasp. “I though you would take my side! I’m wounded!!” Hatori stared and Shigure stopped his dramatic pose. “No, but really, I like that you see? Her reactions are the best, I can’t get enough of it.” He said with a dreamy look on his face.

Hatori smiled. “I’m glad it went well Shigure, I won’t say you deserve it, but it’s good to see that you moved on.” His eyes drifted to the photo of Kana and his smile became bitter. Shigure rose of his chair and came rejoined Hatori’s side of the desk, putting his hand of his shoulder. “You too, you can move on and…” Shigure looked at the distance, as if he had something in mind but decided to keep it for himself. “And you don’t know what future will bring you” he winked and turned back, letting his arms in the air and chanting his usual mumbo jumbo “_qué será, será,_ whatever will be, will be, what won't happen, won't” Hatori rose up and walked to the boiling machine, pourring the hot wat in a cup. “I’m not like you Shigure, I already had my chance.”

Shigure laughed “You’re something Haa-san” he got closer, his shoulder bumping with Hatori’s “One day you encourage me to meet new people and getting my girl back, the next day you refuse to allow yourself to do the same.” Hatori looked aside. “It’s true that between you and me, you are the one who deserve the less” _‘but you need it more than me.’_ He did not say.

“Anyway, I plan to visit Akito in ten minutes, so I need you to go.” Said Hatori, sipping his tea only to wince when the hot water burnt his tongue. “Already chasing me?” laughed Shigure “Alright, anyway, Mitsuru must be probably at my door, I need to assure she did not hang herself yet” Hatori blown in aim to cool his tea “One day, you will have more than a simple slap, Shigure” the writer simple waved, beaming at him and walked away, putting his Haori closer on his body to warm himself in the cold December weather.

Hatori watched him go by the window and prepared his bag. His first appointment was in two hours, he had time to examine Akito today. He closed his office door and walked in direction of the head of family’s house. The domestics let him in and another one lead him till Akito and Kureno’s quarter. He lazily opened the fusuma doors of the room where Kureno was taking his breakfast. “Oh, Hatori…I didn’t think you would come this early” said Kureno, noticing the doctor presence. “Akito is still in her room, should I call her?”

Hatori waved his hand “It’s okay, I’ll directly see her, you can continue to eat.” He simply explained before heading to the goddess room. He knocked “Akito, you’re up?” he waited a few seconds before hearing her soft voice answering “Hatori? Yes, come in.” he slid her shoji door open and expected her to be still sulking in her futon, so what wasn’t his surprise when he saw her already clothed and her futon tidied in the corner of her room. She stared at him before hugging him. “It’s nice to see you”

Hatori was perplexed, last week she was depressed to the point she did not even wanted to move out of her bed if he and Kureno did not force her out of it, and now she was hugging him. What happened? “You look…Better” he obviously stated. He wondered for a moment if Kureno did not gave her something but he preferred to directly examine her and ask the man later. He gently took her wrists and lead her to the _chadubai_. They sat and Hatori put his stethoscope out of his bag, Akito just slid her upper part of her kimono down to her chest. She breathed slowly as he listened her heartbeat and examined her thinness. “You will have to eat more Akito, it’s already a miracle you hadn’t caught something too serious until now.” He scolded and she put her kimono back on her shoulders. “I’m alright” she merely said, looking at the wooden floor and Hatori damned her stubbornness, she had been so used to be starving that she can’t handle eating more than a bowl of rice without feeling sick. He had to make sure she eats between lunches.

As he was putting his stuff back in his bag, his eyes caught the sight of an unusual reddish color near of the window. He narrowed his eyes and looked closely before recognizing a bouquet of flowers. They looked familiar and, in a flash, he remembered the dog buying the same flowers yesterday. He felt a cold sweat dropping all along his back when he dared to walk to the window. He was telling himself that it couldn’t be, because Akito was always locked in her quarters and under Kureno’s watch. But when the recognized the camellia flowers and the green gingham pattern ribbon, all his doubts dispelled. _Fuck._

“Akito, where did you get those flowers?” She jolted and rushed on the bouquet, holding it against her chest like a fragile new-born. “Ku-Kureno” she mumbled, her eyes moving fast. “It’s Kureno, he found them pretty and gave them to me.” She quickly lied. Hatori sighed “Akito, it’s okay.” He gently said, no wanting to rush her and kneeled down. He stroked her arm that was trying to hide the bouquet, easing her. He really wanted to ask her how she and Shigure met, and if others people were aware of it.

And god fucking damnit. So Shigure was still in love with Akito? But he just did not know? What the hell? What kind timeline was it? It is real life? Was he still dreaming?_ Damn, it's...._

Maybe that bastard already knew and he had been playing with Hatori? No, it didn’t make any sense, why would he had stopped to see her then and be all depressed about it. Does that mean he stopped seeing Akito because he couldn’t handle the fact that he was starting to fell in love with Akito when he was already in love with Akito. Hatori grunted and massaged his temple for the n times this morning. He wondered when was the last time he had a such headache, probably when Ayame and Shigure flirted in purpose to make him cringe.

And did Akito know that Shigure was the Dog spirit cursed? He hoped that the slap she had gave to Shigure was hard enough, because this idiot needed to be beaten. He really did not know if he should laugh or be annoyed by the situation. It sounded too unreal, and it was coming from somebody who transformed into a seahorse if hugged. Hatori sighed and tried to ease Akito with a stroke on her head.

“Kureno gave them to me” she repeated, trembling. Hatori frowned, why was she lying to him. What was she scared for, why did she not trust him? “Akito, it’s okay, you can tell me.” He said softly, like a big brother talking to his little sister. He needed to know more about the situation, if both were aware of each other identities or how they met. Shigure had told him about a parc, but what was she doing in here? She should be locked in by Ren’s order. Does that mean since last summer, she had been out every Wednesday? It was crazy. How Ren did not had noticed her absence in the mansion. Suddenly he understood why she had been depressed the past month, for the same reason why Shigure have been. Look like he had been right when he has said once that Shigure love for the goddess was going to hurt him and Akito. Hatori just did not think it would be that way. And it had been dangerous, Shigure had told him that she has waited for him all the time he was staying in the Sohma’s estate instead of going to the parc, she could have caught a cold.

“I told you that Kureno gave them to me!” She screamed, surprising Hatori. Akito was not a patient girl, and it happened for her to have whims, like when she did not want a shot or to finish her plate; but this was new. “Why do you care so much anyway! Don’t ask me questions!” she continued, her cheeks starting to get red from the anger. “No Akito I did not…” he was interrupted by the sound of sliding doors and they both turned their head toward the guest.

“What is happening here?” asked the wicked voice of Ren, her long hair floating behind each once of her movement. Akito froze in stillness, her voice caught in her throat. “Why are you screaming so early in the morning, don’t you have common sense in your stupid brain?” spited Ren, an irritated expression on the face. Akito said nothing and simply looked down, Hatori saw her pressing the bouquet closer against her, holding it tight. She walked into the room, completely ignoring Hatori’s presence and brutally lifted the girl by her kimono. “Can’t you answer my question? You’re really a shame of a son, huh!” She shook Akito and Hatori had to interfere between and took Akito away from Ren’s grasp. “Ren-san, don’t shook him too much, he has a frail body.” He tried to explain in a way Ren wouldn’t get even more annoyed than she already was.

“It’s alright Hatori, he is not a baby anymore and he should stop acting like one.” Hatori felt Akito trembling, he wondered if it was from fear, rage or something between. Ren studied her ‘son’ and noticed the flowers Akito was holding “What is that Akito?” she sharply asked, making Akito stop breathing. “I…it’s” she tried to articulate but Ren simply took the flowers away from her. Akito tried to get them back but her mother roughly threw her away, if Hatori hadn’t rushed behind Akito, she would have probably hit her fragile head against the wall. “Flowers? What are you doing with flowers?”

At Akito lack of answer, Ren groaned and looked more closely at the flowers. Hatori had to held Akito still when Ren started to stroke the reddish petals. “They’re so pretty…It would suit every pretty girl.” She said sweetly, looking fondly at the camellia. Hatori could feel Akito becoming even more and more tensed to by the situation. “But you, Akito, are a boy, and flowers are for girls only” And she planted her long nails into one of the frail camellias and crushed it slowly in her palm. Akito begged for her to stop and Ren as if hypnotized by the girl’s scream continued. Plucking one by one the petals and then she threw the bouquet at the floor and crushed it under her feet, taking the time to rub her the hard part of her heel on what was once the flowers Shigure had bought for the girl he fell in love with.

Akito broke free from Hatori arm and rushed to the floor, looking for her ruined flowers. Ren lifted her feet and sweep up the petals with it before downing on Akito form and took her chin between her fingers and lifted it unkindly, planting the nails into her soft skin “You need to know you place and who you are Akito.” She said meaningfully and threw the girl back on the floor. She turned her back, her hair matching her movement in an eerie way.

Akito only let her tears flown when Ren footstep were away enough and she gathered the ruined flowers together. “I hate her, I hate her so much” she whispered between sob. “Why does she always hurt me like that?” Hatori looked aside, feeling guilty to have done nothing. He could hear his inside dragon treating him a coward, unless it was his conscience. He kneeled and took the sobbing girl in his arms. “I hate her so much Hatori…” she repeated, coughing her tears. He did not answer and simply stroked her back until she stopped crying.

Hatori took the ribbon and wrapped a it around a lock of her hair. She sniffed as he wiped a lonely tear off. “Here, you’re really pretty like that” he simply said, trying to comfort her. She frowned and immediately took the ribbon off. “No need for that Hatori” she muttered before raising up and walked to her closet, rummaging around in it. Kureno came into the room a minute after, saying that he saw Ren coming out of the room. Akito stood silent, looking at something in her closet that Hatori couldn’t see from where he was. Then, Kureno turned his head toward the doctor, they shared a quiet look and Kureno nodded, a sad expression on his face. He kneeled down to the closet and whispered to her. Hatori couldn’t hear what he was saying from where he was and instead, decided to gather the ruined flowers together and to put them on the table. Then he walked out of the bedroom and silently signaled to Kureno that he will be waiting for him in the hallway.

“I’m sorry you witnessed this…” said Kureno, closing the shoji doors behind him. Hatori shook his head “I was already aware of Ren treatment of Akito” he said in a low tone, he just felt guilty to do nothing against the woman. If he dared to move against her, who know what Ren could do against the cursed and Akito. He was a coward, always doing what was ordered without arguing. He exhaled painfully, changing the conversation.

“Kureno…Do you know where those flowers come from?” Kureno paled and looked aside. “I found them pretty and gave them to Akito” he lied. Badly if Hatori could said, so he glared at the man strictly, like that time when they were children and that Kureno had broken that vase. The younger man looked down and bit his lower lip. “Hatori nii-san…You have to keep it for yourself but…” Kureno looked around, making sure they were the only one in the hallway and he lowered his voice. “I took her one day out of the estate” he explained “I knew it was really dangerous, but, she looked so happy when she was outside, you should have seen her Hatori, so…” he fisted his hand “So the week after I took her out again, the week after too, and it became a routine, but she was so happy when I take her outside, I couldn’t stop. I mean… You noticed too, right? How happy she had been.” Hatori nodded in agreement, he noticed indeed her mood rising all the time she has been meeting with Shigure.

“But, suddenly, out of nowhere, she started to get depressed...It was around October. I did not understand, even coming out the Wednesday weren’t making her happy anymore, actually, she was even feeling worse and I…” he stopped himself, thinking about what else to say. “yesterday I took her again at the parc, I thought I was going to see her all depressed again, but no, instead she…She was smiling, holding the flowers.” Kureno passed a hand on his face, he had finally understood that she was meeting someone. “Nii-san, did I do an error?”

“No, of course not, she needs it.” Reassured Hatori “She can’t stay locked here forever” he added. Sure, he couldn’t ignore how dangerous the situation was, but it was making her happy, or at least, before Shigure decide to be stupid and stand up Akito. “Do you who she got the flowers from?” Kureno shook his head, telling that Akito refused to talk about it. “I see” muttered Hatori. She wanted to kept it hidden, and after the scene with Ren, he could understand why. He scratched the back of his head and wondered if he should tell Shigure or see how the things will go. Shigure could be able to do the most idiotic things when under his emotions influence, or Hatori thought.

_‘Maybe I’ll wait…I don’t want to hear him saying how right he was since the beginning after all’_ he thought bitterly, knowing it wasn't the reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, Hatori is a bit of a coward here? But at the same time...It's hard to know what to do in this situation right? Changing the status quo can be scary. And even in canon, I feel like Hatori was more of a spectator than actor, being Shigure's conscience and all.


	13. Chapter 12 (Banquet Akito POV)

Akito have been woken up by Kureno who had been shaking her by the shoulder. “Akito, today is the big day.” He gently said as she rubbed her eyes, groaning. She was having the best dream. She was with Shigure wandering around the city, he was holding her by the waist and people where turning their heads over them and whispering ‘what a pretty girl, that guy must be lucky’. It was nice. After that he took her in a fancy restaurant and they talked for hours. This time she had succeeded to talk back at his teases and they had both laughed. Kureno awoken her at the moment he was taking her at his apartment, they were just going to get in bed. “Come on Akito, go prepare and take your breakfast, I’ll wait for you” he stroked her hair gently and she almost shouted at him for messing her hair so early in the morning.

She stood up and prepared her clothes before jumping in the bathroom. As she washing herself in the warm water, she couldn’t refrain herself to think about her dream and where it could have leaded if only Kureno hadn’t woke her up. She simply touched her lips and blushed. This was stupid. If only he hadn’t teased her so much last week with Christmas and love hotel. She was starting to get ideas she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t stop. She was imaging both of them reproducing one of the love scenes she had read in novel, picturing Shigure hands all on her. She did not know why her body was reacting that way, she had sex once and it was really disagreeable, so why her mind and her body was craving of doing it with Shigure. “Fuck!”

She took her shampoo and pressed hardly on it, pouring more than needed in her palm and she ferociously rubbed her hair with it. She was sure she going to strangle the man one day or another; it’s all he deserved after leaving her for so long, he never explained her the reason of why he did so, but he had told her that he regretted. She was going to miss him today, but she had to be here for the new year banquet, she waited this event all the year. It wasn’t much, but this was the closer she could get to her zodiacs. Yuki will be sitting next to her today and they will be able to talk. It has been months since the last time she had saw him. If it wasn’t for the bond, she would had thought that probably Yuki abandoned her.

She washed the shampoo off and washed her body with soap, she dried herself up and put her kimono messily before heading to the livingroom, Kureno have been waiting for her patiently. She felt her stomach moan when she saw the large bowl of rice, the roasted mackerel and the rolled eggs. She won’t be able to eat all of it. “Why there is so much on the table?” she said in a frown, taking her place. She did not like when people touched to her routine.

“today is going to be a big day Akito, you need strength” He casually explained, pourring green tea in her cup. “And Hatori nii-san asked me to change your diet, you have to eat more” He had a small smile as the girl reluctantly palmed her bowl of rice with one hand, and slid her chopsticks between her fingers in the other hand. She made an expression as if she ate something sour “I’ll get fat”

“Just eat as much as you can, but not only rice.” He chopped an egg roll with his chopsticks and put it in Akito’s bowl, ignoring her grumblings. “And eat your fish too.” He added and she glared at him. Kureno was glad to see her livelier than ever. He remembered his discussion with Hatori the day Ren broke into Akito’s room. The girl was seeing somebody, but she did not want to talk about it with him. He wondered sadly when she has started to not trust him anymore about these matters. He looker her sniffing the egg roll before putting it in her mouth and did the same. He did not know how to start the conversation without her ending angry. But at least, it made sense why she did not want him to go with her at the parc. He hoped this person would just be a friend to her, but he knew he was lying to himself. A mere friend wouldn’t buy flowers.

“When the banquet start?” she asked, her eyes turned toward the window. “As usual, at the sunset” replied Kureno “But you have the preparation to do before, Kumasawa-san is expecting you after breakfast to fix your outfit” Akito made a face. She was her mom favorite maid, and Akito hated when she was bandaging her chest. It was painful that Akito felt like she could faint out from the tightness, and it always left deep mark on her skin. Kumasawa did not care if she was hurting Akito. A knot formed in the girl stomach, if she had little appetite before, now she totally lost it. She put her white rice down on the table and Kureno made a disappointed expression. At least she has finished the eggroll he had gave her and almost eaten a half of the mackerel. Akito wondered why she wasn’t picky with her foods when she was eating with Shigure, maybe because it tasted better. She hated the rice here but she knows no other, how could she compare?

“Akito…” called Kureno sadly when she stood up from the table. She ignored him and fixed her Haori right before walking to the next room where she knew Kumasawa was waiting for her. The woman eyed her kimono and asked her to removed it all. Akito hated it, it was humiliating. She chilled from the coldness of the room and the woman forced her to sit in seiza as she sorted out the bandage for her chest. Akito caught a sight of herself in the mirror and looked at her lack of boobs, she remembered with bitter memory when she has tried that skirt. The seller touch, even if coming from a stranger, was much gentler than the rough hands of Kumasawa. Akito felt like throwing up her breakfast when she felt the maid's dry hands on her naked skin, wrapping the white bind around her chest.

The maid squeezed the bandage roughly around her in a sudden movement and Akito felt all the air in her lungs leaving painfully. She shouted “Can’t you watch out! You hurt me!” she looked furiously the domestic who simply looked down on her. “Madam your mother asked me to make sure I hide your body's excesses.” She explained in a contemptuous tone that made Akito grit her teeth in anger. She put her hand on her ribs, constating the tightness and Kumasawa sorted the ritual god kimono. Akito simply rose up, like she did every year and let the woman dress her up. She never knew why the maid always compressing her body with the underclothes, the bandage, the obi. She barely could breathe.

Akito walked in front of the mirror and Kuwasawa fixed the wrinkles on the kimono. The girl felt like a doll, like she one she saw in Yuki's mangas when she was younger. Akito felt herself pretty, but she wondered if the pain she was feeling at the moment was worth it. “Perfect, we will just need to make up your face” said the maid, taking her chin. Akito slapped her hand and sent her a dark glare. “Such disrespectful boy” she clicked her tongue and walked out of the room. Akito watched her go and removed the fine clothes. Kumasawa will come later to put them back, before the banquet would begin. However, until then, Akito could be free to wear her plain kimono. The problem stays the chest binder that will be hurting her until the next sunrise.

She escaped the room and went toward the banquet room. Domestics were already in the room, cleaning and dusting it. Other were preparing the paravent she will be hiding behind tonight. One of the younger maids blushed when she saw the chief entering the room and bowed. Akito barely looked at her and she inspected the room instead. She heard however the same girl praising her beauty and comparing her to Ren. Akito glared deathly at the bold domestic, making all her redness fade into a pure white of fear.

Akito preferred to leave the place before she starts to do something she might regret.

* * *

“Are you okay?” asked Kureno, noticing her face being whiter than usual. “Too tight” she answered, pointing her obi. Kureno made a face, why the maids were tightening so much her clothes? Wouldn’t making all the clothes loose would make her appear more like a male? He put himself behind her and loosened her clothes, just enough for her to breathe. “Thank you” she muttered. “Come here Akito, the sun is setting.” He offered his arm and lead her to the banquet room.

She had been bored the whole day, but the maids were too watchful to allow her to go out. She hated missing Shigure, especially today. This was the new year banquet; she should have been thinking only about her zodiacs. She hated the place he was taking in her mind and her heart, but she couldn’t suppress it. During all the afternoon she fought against the want to text him. First because she was not really good at using a phone, and secondly, to say what? She definitely won’t write that she misses him, he would tease her until the end of her life if she dared.

So instead she waited, as if it was any other day and she has slumped on the chabudai in her Livingroom. Shigure had told her he has others pennames for other kind of stories, she will ask Kureno to buy them. His light novels are funny and his adventure genre novels interessant, but she was curious for the other genres he has written about. She was really grateful when her domestic that was in charge for the make-up came into her room and started to paint red around her eyes, it meant it was almost time. It was only when her make-up and her hair have been brushed that Kumasawa came again for the kimono.

Kureno walked her into the celebration room, all the preparations were done and the only missing thing was the people invited for the endless banquet. Akito’s eyes shifted to the paravent that will separate her from her twelve zodiacs. “Hatori-nii is already here with Shigure-nii.” Akito jolted by hearing that familiar name, only to remind herself that it was the name the cursed of the dog. “It has been a while since I’ve saw him.” Akito listened him talking about the man. She did not know what to think about him, she was seeing him like a dog in heat. Oh, she had heard one and thousand things about this person. That man has slept with every women of the estate from what she heard. Ren reminded her for months how her dog wasn’t thinking much of its god for throwing himself between the first pair of legs. ‘_What were you saying about the bond? That they all love you and are faithful? What a joke, they are already leaving you_’ and then her wicked laugh had haunted her dreams every night until Hatori gave her sleeping pills.

“They are waiting in the next room, when should we let them enter?” asked Kureno, installing her behind the paravent. Akito looked in front of her, but the tissue of the screen only let her see shadows. As a child, she used to stick her head against the paravent, trying to see the face of the twelve others people at the other side, failing each time. She sighed “Wait until everybody is present.” She simply answered and Kureno nodded and let her alone after sending her a last smile. Kureno just had the time to leave the room that two servants came into and sat at each opposite side of the paravent. Akito scoffed, she could say goodbye to the intimacy she wanted to be in.

She knew the maids were here only to watch for any trouble during the banquet, preventing the cursed to try to break the screen separating her from them. Akito rolled her eyes, she had enough of this, if it was not for the love of the bond with the zodiacs and the fear, maybe she would have tried to flee far, far away from the mansion. She wondered if she was going to stay trapped forever behind this paravent until Ren die, or if one day she will take the lead back and finally come out of the cave.

Kureno came back half of hour after and whispered into Akito’s ear that they were all presents and she allowed them to enter. She straightened herself, taking a breath. Preparing herself for all the emotions she was going to feel the moment her zodiacs will enter the room.

They entered one by one, and Akito felt her heart beating faster, it was like this every year but the feeling felt so good, like seeing old friends that she hadn’t saw for centuries, but she has never meet them. She felt like fainting, the lack of air and all the emotions were bad for her body. She really wanted to go at the other side of the paravent and hug each one of them, crying in joy, but she kept still. The threatening voice of her mother ringing in her head. She gulped, trying to clear the knot that formed in her throat. She closed her eyes and listened with attention the different voices of the cursed. She tried to wonder who it was. She was sure that the person apologizing was the monkey. Yuki had once told her the habit of the man to apologize about everything. She heard another shouting voice that was followed by a high-pitched laugh that hurt Akito’s heard.

“Tori! Look how pretty I am!” he screamed “Perfect for tonight dance!” She saw a shadow turning over itself, playing with the long-sleeved clothes.

“Momiji, can’t you pipe it down! You’re hurting my head!” she saw another shadow, shorter, snarl at Momiji. She remembered it to be the rabbit name. He was probably excited to be tonight star, the tiger passing the baton to the rabbit. She was already excited for next year, Hatori will be the one dancing, not that she will see it well. She touched the paravent with emotion. She felt so close to them but at the same time so far. Kureno took her hand and smiled to her. Akito bit her lips, where was Yuki?

* * *

“Thank you, stupid cat, because of you, we’re late!” Said Yuki, exasperated. Akito won't like him arriving after the others, especially after a such long time of separation. Yuki could manage an angry Akito, but it might be a bit hard during the banquet. Yuki looked at the moon, Momiji’s dance must be already over by now. He sighed and climbed the stairs, only to turn back to enjoy the view of the Sohma estate under the moonlight. He noticed Kyo looking at the distance. They had left the dojo later because of an accident. Kyo in his rage had broken one of the shoji doors and with Kazuma out of the house for the day, they tried to fix it with Tohru’s help. It greatly annoyed Yuki that she finds herself fixing Kyo’s stupidities. Especially today since she was going to pass her first new year without her mother.

“Don’t worry about Honda-san, she will be alright with Shihan.” Said Yuki, more to himself to Kyo. He felt really guilty by it, but he couldn’t miss the banquet neither. Akito was waiting for him, but Tohru probably wanted to celebrate new year with him and that cat.

“Who said I was worried about her!” spat Kyo and Yuki rolled his eyes, why this stupid cat always felt the need to shout. “I just find stupid for me to come. I’ll stay outside anyway!” he groaned, putting his hands in his pockets “Not that you care, you rat.” Yuki said nothing and simply continued to climb. What could he said anyway? It won’t change the situation. They arrived by the garden and surprised his brother, Shigure and Hatori smoking. “Oh, here come the laggards~” sang the dog, causing both Yuki and Kyo and sigh in duet. They snapped and glared at each other. “Oi!” grunted Kyo.

“A problem stupid cat?” he taunted back. Hatori felt the need to interfere “Don’t start you two! Yuki, you should come inside and excuse yourself to Akito. He is really disappointed that you weren’t here.” Yuki looked aside while Kyo go sit next to the older men. After one last look at the starry sky, he opened the shoji doors and walked into the room.

Hatsuharu was the first one to welcome him in a hug. “I thought you wouldn’t come Yuki.” He said in a warm tone. Yuki smiled and patted his back. “We have been held back. Did I miss much?” Yuki stepped back from Haru’s embrace and looked at the rest of the cousins. “Yeah! Yuki missed Kisa and I's beautiful dance! Right Kisa?” The little girl jolted from the sudden attention she was under and simply nodded before looking down to her plate. Momiji made a sad scowl at her lack of answer. They were all aware of her situation at school and did not know how to help her. Even he, had never been good to makes friends and preferred to isolate himself, because it what was the cursed were expected to do, hide themselves.

Yuki’s eyes drifted to Rin who was sitting next to Haru. The whiteness of her skin could compete with Akito’s, she too wasn’t saying anything. He barely had the time to greet Kagura that she ran outside, screaming for Kyo. Yuki held back a smile, it was a typical new year banquet. He had a bitter thought of how Tohru would have liked to be here, but it was forgetting the two domestics looking at the zodiacs from the paravent, no outsiders were allowed here. He looked at the two shadows sat behind the screen at walked to it. “Say hello to Akito for us!” Called Momiji, his smile back.

“Hey, Akito” he called, passing aside one of the maids. Akito lifted his head and frowned, visibly angry. “You’re late” he noticed and Yuki apologized. “We had trouble at the dojo” he explained, taking a seat. Akito was sulking and it somehow reminded him of Rin when she was angry but did not wanted to show it. Akito took his attention back to the spectacle of shadow in front of him. “I thought you wouldn’t come” he said, lowly.

Yuki followed Akito’s example and looked at the zodiacs from behind the screen and wondered if that was what the prisoners of the Plato’s cavern felt like, pinpoint images and ideas on the shadows they were looking at and calling it truth. Yet, Akito was aware that his whole world was a lie. The only thing he was sure was the bonds linking him and the rest of the cursed. It was here, Yuki could feel it too. Even now, he was happy to be by Akito’s side. However, he had also enough of everything the curse was forcing him to do; he had enough to hide, he had enough of seeing his cousins and himself being treated like they are the ugliest creatures in the world when all they done nothing but being born. Akito from his cave probably knew nothing of their suffering. Yuki and Kureno had informed him about the cursed way of life, like Rin who had been abandoned by her parents and her staying always in her house and refusing to go out because she can’t handle anymore the whispers and the glares of the inside family. Akito probably didn’t have the mere idea of how much Rin was in pain.

Yuki on Hatsuharu’s demand asked to Akito if it was possible for Rin to lives outside, like Ayame or Ritsu were doing, but the man shouted and refused. It was probably starting to this moment that Yuki understood that the god will never change his mind about the curse. And Yuki couldn’t help but being exasperated by Akito’s egoism. Coming seeing him now always reminded the man’s desire for the curse to be endless; that was maybe one of the reasons he wasn’t seeing his friend as much as before. This bond was hurting them and Akito did not care. He was sure that fleeting moment of joy during the new year was worth the pain they were feeling. “Momiji and the others say hello to you.”

He saw Akito smile from the corner of his eyes and Yuki felt his heart grow fonder, he couldn’t help but smile too. “You…Can said them that I greet them back.” He replied in a small voice. Yuki simply nodded and continued to watch his cousins shadows play. They stood in a silence until Akito talked again. “I expect you to come more often next year Yuki” he said and Yuki turned his head to his god; he saw Kureno do the same, a surprised expression on his face.

Yuki twisted his lips unprettily, it was going to be hard to explain to Akito was this year he will probably see him less than before. “Ah, I’m sorry… But I will have less time next year. Actually, I’m thinking of joining the student council at school.” Yuki couldn’t help but flinch when Akito turned over him angrily and shouted a ‘What?!’ that silenced the room. The domestics turned their attention on what was happening behind the paravent, ready at the first sight of trouble. Kureno held Akito by his shoulder and whispered him words to calm him. Akito bit his lips, but the mix of anger and surprise was still visible through the wrinkles of his face.

The mood when up again when Yuki heard his brother and Shigure slid the doors open for a dramatic entry. Yuki felt like breathing again and Akito downed his head, yet he was still trembling from the anger. Yuki had to explain his point of view. “Akito, I have to lives my own life and-”

“What? I am your god. It should all be about me! Because the bonds are…They are…” He interrupted in a low voice, the maids still watching them with severity. Yuki could almost perceive panic in Akito’s eyes and his arms unconsciously moved around the other man. He remembered in a flash the day Ren separated him from Akito’s. They have been crying, desperately trying to keep holding in each other’s arms when servants were trying to spilt them apart. He cried at Kazuma’s that night until falling asleep.

Yuki said nothing and he could feel Akito anguish making him rethink his plans for the years. He had been wrong; he should have come more often. Others people could be president of student council instead. They don’t need him, he is replaceable, he should stay by Akito sides, but...he also wanted to try new things, he wanted to test himself, he wanted to improve, he was tired of being a mouse trapping itself in a hole to hide itself from the world. He wanted to be free.

“Akito” whispered Kureno low enough so just the three of them could hear “You had a phone, why don’t you give your number to Yuki?” Akito blinked, confused and then frowned. Kureno looked at Yuki “There is no problem with it? That way even if he is not here, you can contact him.” He added. Yuki and Akito shared a glance and the younger smiled.

“Yes, it could be a good idea, isn’t it?” The compromise seduced Yuki but Akito didn’t sound very keen by it. His grimace proved it.

“It’s not the same.” He spat and took Yuki’s sleeve, ready to voice his thought when Shigure’s high pitched tone resounded in the room, stopping Akito who turned his head toward the screen, his eyes wide open. “Akito?” Yuki called when his friend stood silence. He looked at Kureno who simply shrugged, not knowing what was Akito’s head. “Are you alright?” he asked when the chief did not answer him. Akito blinked and put her palm on her forehead. “Sorry, I thought I heard…but it’s just my imagination…” said Akito softly. Yuki hummed in wonder when he noticed his friend’s pale face. “I… I will give you my number but at least…Stay with me tonight.” Answered finally Akito, turning sadly his head to his mouse.

Yuki nodded. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter <3 next will be the banquet from Shigure's point of view ~  
Don't forget to comment your impression of the chapter or the story, I'm curious to hear about it all !!


	14. Chapter 13: Banquet (Shigure POV)

Shigure woken up later than usual that day and he stretched in his futon. He was often doing sweet dreams that would leave him euphoric for the rest of the day now that he was seeing Akito again. Too bad, today he won’t see her. But the way she reacted last time he has teased her about the love hotel during Christmas was worth missing one week. He was sure she was going to think about him even if they won’t see each other today.

Useless to said that today, Shigure was in good spirit. He jumped in the shower and sang one of these stupid catchy songs that irritated Hatori. He had to be presentable for tonight banquet after all. He was going to see her and see if his feeling for the goddess really changed or not. If it did, then, he will have to kiss goodbye the attachment he had for his goddess and put all his strength to be with Akito. But if his love for the other girl were still present, then he will just stay friend with Akito. He will be a complete bastard if it’s the latter, giving Akito false-hope. Yet, he didn’t know why, he felt at peace. After all the weeks he passed avoiding Akito in fear that his feeling for Akito-the-goddess would disappear, the idea of facing the god reincarnation tonight did not afraid him, as if he already accepted the situation and that he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

He smirked and dried himself, putting a towel around his waist. He shaved before coming out of the bathroom, wondering what he can do to pass time until the banquet. He still had time before tonight and Hatori won’t take any patient for today. He decided to go for instant, he was going to eat a lot at tonight banquet anyway. He switched on the TV for background sound and put water in boiler. He took a bowl of noodle from the kitchen shelf and searched for his phone. He was not surprised to see that he has received no text from Akito. She was never the one to message him first. He won’t do it neither, he wanted to see until when she could last.

He stretched once again and decided to put some clothes after filling his instant bowl with boiling water. He wasn’t going to the parc today, so he could wear his usual kimono and relax. He could even write a bit before heading to Hatori and staying here until the sunset, they could go together. Today schedule was going to be nice and staying at home all the afternoon after finishing his noodle didn’t looked a bad idea. He wondered if one day he should take Akito at an Izakaya. It will be plain foods, but he has noticed that was the kind of dishes she craved the most. He saw it last week when he walked her in the city, her eyes were always on the sight of junk foods in people hands instead of refined meals showed on advertisements. He teased her about her palate and she simply grunted. To be honest, he was the last one to talk, when he wasn’t eating deliveries, he was depending instant foods. Sometimes though, he was succeeding to steal some grab of Hatori homemade foods. Shigure wouldn’t even try to do one, he was too lazy to cook. Making a simple curry would ask too much attention and he would end up ruining it, whining after his friend to force them to take him in flashy restaurant was much easier than to follow a recipe. Anyway, Shigure never liked to do what people expected from him.

He tried to threw his bowl in the trash only to miss. He eyed the bowl a moment, as if it was could move and throw itself in the bin before turning back to his occupation. He was in the middle of writing Tarou’s beating by the yakuza. He still wondered if he should kill him or not. Maybe he will think about it in the next chapters, or keep the mystery. Both sounded good, but readers will wonder about the old man fate. Shigure smiled, it would be funny this way, letting the readers wonder about the characters, let them imagine what could happens to them. He let his chin rest over his palm as he wrote. By the moment he finished writing his chapter, the December sun was already low in the sky. He rose up and put his draft with the others and head out.

He shivered and put his haori closer to his body. There was nobody outside, all the domestics were too busy with final preparations of the banquet and the Sohma’s were probably at home, waiting for new year eve TV show. He knocked at Hatori’s house only to heard the soft sound of a lock at the door. “Come on Haa-san!! Open me!! It’s cold outside!!” he whined and he could picture Hatori scowl when he heard the man sliding his door a few centimeters, just enough to see his eye. “Won’t you ever leave me alone Shigure?”

The dog simply beamed. “uh? Of course not, you’re my friend!” He said in a joyful tone and Hatori closed the door brutally in answer. “Ah!! Come on Haa-san! It’s too cold for me! I beg you!” He started to scratch at the door, like an animal wanting to enter. If he wanted to push the act farer, he just had to whine like dogs do. Sometime, Hatori felt like a care-taker instead of a doctor. After minutes of constant scratching at the door and Shigure shouting to open, Hatori complied, not without throwing threating glare at his friend. Shigure entered as if he was his own home. “Oh, I see you’re not ready yet Haa-san” he noticed, eyeing the jogger and simple shirt Hatori was in.

“We still have time and I wanted to enjoy my first day off in weeks.” Sighed Hatori, sitting on his sofa. “You’re here way too soon Shigure. Don’t you have work to do at home?” Shigure pouted.

“My dear, you will be surprised how ahead of time I am.” He sang, making Hatori lifting a brow in doubt. “Really! I’m not lying.” He put his hand in the air as for swearing. “Then why do you always bully your editor.” Asked Hatori, putting his glasses on. Shigure shrugged and tried to read the cover of the book Hatori was reading. A Soseki classic. “Because she is funny to tease on of course.” Shigure laughed, looking back to Hatori’s face, a cocky smile on his lips. Hatori really felt bad for Mitsuru. The poor thing must be sure that she must have been the worst person in the world in a previous life to have that writer under her. “One day, she will really jump from a bridge if you continue to push her limits Shigure. And you won’t even feeling the least guilty about it.” Shigure whined in disagreement and Hatori simply rolled his eyes. Why was he even friend with that guy to begin with?

Then they stood in silence, as odd as it sounds, Shigure was not bothered by silence, as Ayame on the contrary. Shigure could stay hours saying nothing and taking pleasure in doing nothing but simply resting his cheek on his palm and thinking. Hatori sometime wondered what was in Shigure’s mind in these moments, was he working on his novels or just plainly thinking about the curse, about the whole point of his life? The man was an enigma and Hatori couldn’t just understand a half of what he was planning until the moment it was too late.

“Won’t you ask me?” said Shigure suddenly, breaking the silence and snapping Hatori out of his thoughts. “Hm? About?” asked Hatori lazily, blinking. Shigure rested his whole back against the chair he was sat on, and he answered with a soft voice “About tonight of course, if I will still be all over Akito or not.” Hatori opened his mouth to say something and closed it before clicking his tongue. So that was what Shigure had in mind. Hatori refrained himself to roll his eyes from the irony of the situation. He decided to not tell anything to Shigure nor Akito yet, the whole situation was already a mess and it was scared of the consequence it could have. He knew what kind of things Ren could do. Hatori knew he was irresponsible, yet both of Shigure and Akito were better not knowing anything and just enjoying themselves while they could. It was better to leave the curse out of it. He would tell Shigure later, when he will be ready to act like an adult and avoid to do the worst solution.

He sighed and removed his glasses. “I’m going to get some tea, you annoy me.” He simply answered and rose up, showing his back to his friend so he wouldn't see an expression that would betray him. He did not saw Shigure blinking in confusion, changing his serious face into a stupid one “What? But Hatori, I was serious right now!” he whined dramatically. Hatori brought his hand on his ear, holding back a grunt. “Me too, you seriously annoy me”

“Mean!” Hatori rolled his eyes and prepared tea for him and Shigure. He watched the golden color of the black tea filling the two cups. “I…Don’t worry about you Shigure.” He said after a silence, coming back to the subject. “You always had what you wanted.” He added. And he was telling the true, as ironic the situation actually was. And Hatori still have hard time to accept the whole truth, the situation was way too alike of one of these dramatic and romantic movies he had saw with Ayame and Shigure when they were in middle school.

“Haha, what are you saying, if it was the case, I would have Akito in my arms and my love would be for her only.” Laughed Shigure in a cynical way, loving two people at the same time was strange. The doctor almost wanted to answer sarcastically, maybe a part of him enjoyed knowing something Shigure didn’t. Hatori pressed his lips in a tight line, he should tell Shigure, but he was really scared of the consequence that would happens. Damn, couldn’t Shigure just fall in love with a normal person. He handed to the novelist a cup of warm drink and sat back on the sofa. “You’re scared that you might have feeling for Akito?” asked Hatori “You know you will have it anyway, it’s the curse…Always loving our god”

“I wouldn’t say ‘scared’, but it’s true that I’m somehow dreading for tonight.” Answered Shigure lowly before sipping his tea. Hatori simply hid his smile behind his cup.

* * *

Ayame was the one to open the sliding doors of the banquet room, announcing himself in a strident voice. He was followed by a laughing Momiji who was holding Kisa’s hand. As for Shigure, he took a deep breath and stepped in the room. He glanced hesitantly at the shadows behind the paravent and gulped discreetly.

He was happy to be here with her, really. His heart was beating fast but, at the same time, he couldn’t help but compare how he was feeling at the moment with when he was with his Akito. It felt similar, yet Shigure couldn’t help but thinking of Akito-the-girl. If he was craving for the goddess, being with Akito gave him that sense of reality and he felt like she could appease his thirst before making him even more hunger for touch and intimacy. In both cases, Shigure was doomed. He couldn’t be in a relationship with a girl he couldn’t see, but being with Akito will be hard, really hard. Will she accept him even if he won’t be able to take her in his arms. He saw in her eyes that she was always seeking for affection, but he couldn’t give her as she wanted him to.

He looked away of the paravent and stuck to Ayame “Aayaa, Yuki is not here yet, something happened?” The snake blinked before looking around and shrugging. “I don’t know but I’m sure my lovely brother is missing something~” he leant over Shigure “Please Gure, I’m wounded, do something” He said and Shigure took him by the chin and caressed his cheek. “I’m okay Aayaa, I will never abandon you love of my life.”

“Oh Gure!”

“I think I’m going to threw up…” said Rin, seeing them before walking over her seat next to Hiro. Ayame and Shigure shared a cocky smile and thumbs before taking their own seats, Shigure’s just beside Kagura. He looked to his right and found the vacant seat of the rooster. Shigure hadn’t really saw Kureno in years. He was living with the goddess and did not come out of the quarters often. Shigure did hate him, for taking the place he wished to be in and for sleeping with her. He hated this feeling of jealousy the rooster made him feel, it would have been better if he wasn’t here.

He shook his head and took his attention on the center of the room where Momiji and Kisa where dancing to the rhythms of the koto and shamisen. Kisa had her eyes down and had almost fell on Momiji if he hadn’t caught her at time. The poor Kisa was getting even more and more depressed. That was frightening. Shigure discreetly looked at Hatori and they shared a quick look before his attention came back on the little girl trying to match the dance. Once finished, they bowed, they will have to redo it at midnight, when the tiger year will end in profit of the rabbit year.

They all clapped and when the two of them took their seat, they all started to chat with each other. Momiji walked to Shigure, asking his thoughts about the dance. He was rejoined by the others cousins and they all talked with each other. Ritsu was looking at Ayame with admiration in the while Hiro was talking to Kisa. It was nice that she was still talking to at least one person here. Shigure saw from the corner of his eye Hatsuharu taking Rin outside. He wanted to show Hatori when Kagura took the dog by the forearm. “Shigure! Why is Kyo not here yet?” She said, sadness in the eyes. “Does he not like me anymore?” she started to cry.

Shigure had smile gently and holding himself to said that Kyo did not really loved her from the start. He did not want to begin the new year with one’s arm in plaster. “Come on Kagura-chan, I’m sure he will be here soon.” He better does, because a late Kyo mean a late Yuki too, and it was too sad of thinking about the girl behind the paravent celebrating the banquet without her friend. Ritsu went to console Kagura, however he added more oil on the burning fire that was the feeling of the girl and she ended to be really angry. Shigure preferred to flee with his two friends before being caught in the middle of the battle, if was better to wait for the banquet to resume outside.

Hatori opened the sliding doors leading to garden and what weren’t their surprise by seeing an Isuzu and Hatsuharu making out on the porch. Hatori facepalmed and was ready to come back into the room but Kagura shouts dissuaded him. Maybe they could go to another place, but Shigure and Ayame had already saw the teenagers and couldn’t refrain themselves to disturb them. “Ahh, youth!” said Shigure, making Rin jump away from Hatsuharu embrace. The teenager merely blinked before turning his attention to the three men “Ah…Yo”. Hatori glared at Shigure. Really, why did he bothered them, the couple just wanted a moment for themselves, they could have found another spot. Rin for her part was completely red, embarrassed.

Shigure teased both of them about their hormones and with Ayame, he started to compare his past experiences. If Hatsuharu was listening them with a carefree expression, Rin was more sensitive to her older cousins tease and she was reacting brutally. Her boyfriend felt the need to calm her and it annoyed her even more. “Shigure-nii” Sighed Haru “Don’t tease her too much, I don’t want her to be angry” he put his hands on her forearms, stroking them gently. However, if Shigure has stopped, Ayame couldn’t retains himself and said, in a beam. “Rin-chan, know that my store is open if you need anything to please your dear Hatsuharu.”

“Urgh, shut the fuck up!” She groaned before fleeing back into the banquet, closing brutally the sliding doors behind her. Hatsuharu scratched his head, staring where Isuzu used to be a second ago.

Shigure was already aware about them, nobody in the zodiacs were blind to their lovey-dovey couple, but it wouldn’t be long before Ren or the servants were to learn it. Not that it would really matters, but it could be a hassle. Ren wanted the zodiacs to feel like monsters, she wanted them to be hated and them hate themselves. She couldn’t do it with the olders cursed, but she could manipulate the youngers and their parents, saying that it was Akito’s words. Look like Hatori was thinking the same. “Hatsuharu, aren’t you scared? If Ren-san or the domestics ended up to know…”

“They won’t.” he suddenly answered, and rejoined his girlfriend, leaving the Mabudachi trio in the cold.

The three of them sat on the porch. “Why did you do that? you could have leave them alone.” Scolded Hatori, taking out his box of cig. “Tori, it was pure and honest concern over my adorable cousins, isn’t it Gure?” Answered Ayame, outraged before turning his face to the sneaky dog who simply laughed it off. “Sure.” Hatori rolled his eyes. Ayame and Shigure followed his example and lighted their cig. They stood a moment in silence before Hatori break it. “How was it?”

“Oh, you know poor Kisa is really clumsy, she was ungraceful. She really needs to watch out! New year banquet is an important event.” Shigure grimaced while Hatori looked at Ayame with a hard expression. Sure, they did not expect Ayame to know about the poor girl being bullied at school or to be careful about people around him, but sometime, he was going too far. Like ignoring his little brother existence for years. Good thing Yuki had been living at Kazuma’s all that time, at least he hadn’t be mistreated.

“Ayame, Kisa is dealing with a lot of things lately, so dancing prettily is the last thing she has in mind right now.” Scolded the doctor before putting his cigarette back in his mouth. Ayame blinked. “Huh? What kind of trouble? Domestics are being mean again? She shouldn’t take them seriously, oh my!”

“Aaya, it’s not easy when you’re a growing kid. Maybe for you it’s nothing, but it’s very important for Sat-chan” Shigure explained in a gentler way. “Don’t belittle her.” Ayame opened his mouth and closed it. He frowned and took his own cig in mouth. Hatori came back to the subject he wanted to talk of. “So Shigure, as I was saying, how was it?”

Shigure made a face. “Well…It was nice.” He said. Ayame looked at his friends perplexed. What was they talking about? “Shigure” warned Hatori. The dog avoided his eyes “I still...feel for Akito, but it’s different? I guess" he lied a bit "Before I wanted to tear off the paravent and ran away with her so she could be only mine you see but now…I still love her but…” Ayame was even more bewildered and sent a questioning look to Hatori. He ignored him. “You mean you are more loving her as a god than a person now?” Shigure smirked. “I don’t know…”

“…You still haven’t made your choice huh?” Asked Hatori with unusual harshness, Shigure took a long drag on his cig before exhaling the smoke and downing his head. “No…, I’m not sure Haa-san, it’s hard…” He said, closing his eyes. “What are you two talking about?!” interrupted Ayame, visibly annoyed to be left out of the conversation.

“Oh? You don’t know Ayaa? I’ve met a girl.” Said Shigure cheerfully, beaming, his sorrowful expression forgotten. Ayame shouted. “What?! My dear Gure, you dared to cheat on me!!” Hatori groaned. “Not again…”

“Don’t worry my dear, you will always be number one in my heart.” He sent a kiss in the snake direction who caught it and pulled it on his heart. Hatori wanted to throw up. The two others men said their usual ‘Alright!’ before clapping their hands together. “Urgh, why do you feel the need to do that only when it’s just the three of us?” said the doctor, feeling a headache coming.

“Haw, com’on Haa-san, don’t feel like that.” Laughed Shigure. Ayame waved his hand and came back to the main subject. “No but, honestly Gure, I’m glad.” He put his hand on his friend shoulder and showed him a warm smile. “Go fetch your happiness my dear Gure!”

Hatori smiled too, even if he wasn’t the best person to deserve, he could at least show the example. The cursed have the right to have their happiness with somebody else. He put his cig down when Ayame started to make plan about Shigure’s girlfriend. “We need to do double date Gure! Present her to us!” He clapped his hands together and Shigure smirked.

“Yeah, but you won’t see her soon Aaya~ You have to be patient” he replied. “But well, I can always ask her, who can resist me?” he winked and it irritated Hatori that he was right about this one. He saw Akito love in her eyes when Wednesday was coming, or when she was looking at her phone. She thought she was discreet but she had always been bad at hiding stuff. The problem was that he hadn’t made a choice yet and Shigure was still confused.

“But we need Haa-san to find somebody too.” Shigure said, snapping Hatori out of his thoughts “Mayu called you yet?” taunted Shigure gleefully, Hatori clicked his tongue. “Let Mayuko out of this conversation.”

Shigure was going to say more when they heard voices coming in their directions “-that you care stupid rat!” he recognized Kyo’s shout and sighed. At least, they came. “Oh, here come the laggards~” he said cheerfully when Yuki and Kyo showed up, they both grimaced before sighing in unison. They glared at each other, pulling out their fists. “Oi!” Groaned Kyo, visibly annoyed. “A problem stupid cat?” replied Yuki with a cocky smile.

Hatori was the one to interrupt, because he was the only person acting like an adult in that garden. If given the chance, Shigure would ask for popcorn and then watch their confrontation as if he was looking at wrestling match while Ayame was opening the bets. “Don’t start! Yuki, you should come inside and excuse yourself to Akito. He is really disappointed to not see you.” Yuki stopped and looked aside, guilt showing on his face.

Kyo on his part sat next to Shigure, after all, it was always here he stayed during new year banquet. Yuki entered in the mansion a few seconds later. “So, Kyo-kun, what has you done tonight to be late?” said the dog with a innocent beam. Hatori wanted to slap him.

“What? I’ve done nothing! It’s not me goddamnit, it’s his fault!” He groaned. “Always taunting me, and I refuse to let him insulting without doing anything! Stupid rat!” he explained vividly.

Shigure put his hand under his chin, putting his cigarette down. It wasn’t hard to imagine what must have happened and what Yuki had said to Kyou and how the teenager reacted to it. “And what said Tohru? I hope you didn’t cause her any trouble.” Said Hatori, Kyo looked down.

“Poor Tohru-kun, staying alone at Kazuma’s for new year.” Said Ayame dramatically, Kyo grunted. “Shishou will come back and she won’t be alone…” he muttered. Ayame hummed in wonder. “Huh? But didn’t he go to the city? I heard that the traffic is blocked because of an accident” he said “But, don’t worry about me, as you see I am here, it’s because I had planned it and I’ve come for you~” he added.

“There is an accident?” asked Kyou, bewildered. “Yes, but like I said don’t worry about me~ since I a-”

“Who care about you! Stupid snake! Shishou is probably trapped in, right?!” he asked to Shigure and Hatori. The dog scratched his head “Well…Probably if he was not here yet when you left…”

Kyou rose up, worry in eyes and glared at the stairs then back to the mansion where the banquet was happening. He bit his lips. Shigure knew what was in Kyou head, he was scared of Tohru being alone in the Sohma estate. It wouldn’t be the first time a person close of the zodiacs have been aggressed. He thought about Kagura’s father who had a fight with a Sohma member of the clan years ago when one tried to aggress his wife and daughter. It was before he divorced “I…” whispered Kyo, unsure of what to do.

“Kyon-kyon feel bad for Tohru-chan, he is so devoted, is it love?” sang Ayame, visibly excited about the situation. Kyo insulted him back in a shout. Shigure felt the need to interfere, and said in a brotherly tone “if you feel bad about her being alone, why don’t you go back to her?” he smiled and Kyo looked down once more. “Gure is right, anyway, nobody cares for the cat hahaha!”

“Oi Ayame!” warned Hatori and Ayame closed his mouth immediately.

“What, I’m not wrong, right Gure? Kyo-kun?” The teenager fisted his hand. “Shut up! I don’t even want to stay here!” Shouted Kyo. “You piss me off, I’m going, anything is better than staying here anyway.” He said and walked away, probably back to the little Tohru. Hatori exhaled irritably.

“Proud of you Ayame?” he scolded, and Ayame looked down. They stood in silence until Kagura arrived, screaming for Kyo.

“Ah, sorry Kagura, he just left…” said Shigure sheepishly, feeling somehow bad for the girl heartbroken expression. “Where? Where did he go?! I’m going to make him pay for ditching me!!” she said, her previous sad expression breaking into a death glare of anger. “Here, here Kagura, you have to stay here for the banquet” said Shigure in a smile, waving his hand freely. “You know it’s not the same for Kyo.”

“But I…” Her sadness came back on her face and she looked down. “It’s unfair…” She bit her lower lip and Shigure rose up to comfort her. “Come on, let’s go back huh? The banquet will resume soon.” She nodded reluctantly as he led her back in the room. Hatori and Ayame following.

Kagura took her seat and Shigure was behind her when his turned his eyes toward the paravent and stopped in front of it. He stood here a moment, staring at the sitting shadow behind the screen. He knew she was also staring at him. “You’re coming?” called Hiro, probably eager to see Kisa dance again and wanted his cousin to sit back as soon as possible. Shigure shook his head and sat next to Kagura, taking his place as the dog. A few moment later, maids came and served them on a plate a dozen of tasty dishes. They ate until midnight when Momiji and Kisa moved in the middle of the circle and danced. The year of the tiger was over and now the rabbit was alone to dance. Next year, Hatori will be the one dancing in the center.

They all clapped when Momiji achieved his dance and bowed at the paravent first and then at the rest of his cousins. The banquet continued afterward. Hiro and Kisa left one hour after the new year dance. Both Hatsuharu and Rin left around two and half of the morning Ritsu felt asleep in a corner of the room while the rest talked until morning. Shigure excused himself a few moments after the chief of family left to see the sunrise with Yuki and Kureno.

While he was walking down on the outside stairs, he noticed the first sunray of the rising sun from far and stood a moment to enjoy it, narrowing his eyes. He made a silent wish to the lucky first sunrise of the year. Since she was born, Shigure had made the single same wish every year. Being with the goddess hiding in the cave. But this time was different, this year, he wished to be with short-tempered, cute and shy Akito. But the moment he made that wish, he felt guilty, regretful. What about the other Akito?

He smirked bitterly and headed at home. Maybe he could sleep until the afternoon and head at the temple later for _Hatsumode_. He was a writer so his schedule wasn’t as strict as Ayame’s or Hatori’s. He changed his clothes and laid on his futon, ready to sleep when he heard his phone vibrates. He opened one eye and looked at the screen. He couldn’t help a smirk forming on his lips when he saw a message from Akito. _‘Happy new year’_

“You too sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter <3 I hope you liked it?  
Shigure calling Akito sweetheart is HUBJIOKPIJH me nnn <3 tho he still can't decide and change the status quo haha.


	15. Chapter 14

She woke up early today. She was way too excited for her own liking but she hadn’t saw him for an entire week. She hated how dependent she became of him, always feeling the need to see him. Texting him did not help, on the contrary, it had thrown further fuel on the fire and she craved even more for him. She was scared to be so vulnerable, especially after his long absence. All the time where he wasn't by her side, she felt like she will never see him again. The wait between every Wednesday was worse and worse.

She stared emptily at the ceiling before rising up. She got a chill as she took her a step out of the futon and she took her haori that was laying on the floor and put it on her shoulders. Her room was too humid and with the coldness of January, she always ended up sick. The previous years, she had moved out her futon in Kureno’s room and they would sleep besides each other, his room warmer. However, this year she did not, she was too scared he would end up knowing about Shigure existence. She didn’t know what she will do if Kureno was to tell her to stop seeing him. So, she preferred staying in her cold room and steal blankets behind the maids back before sleeping.

She walked out and went to the living room where the domestics were already preparing her and Kureno’s breakfast. They were all surprised to see the young master already up, knowing that during winter she preferred to stay under her comfortable warm blankets. “Good morning master, the breakfast is not ready yet.” She said, as if Akito was blind and did not notice the empty table. Akito ignored them and sat next to the heater. She stayed a moment before taking a book left on the lacquered shelf. She grimaced by seeing it was one of the Confucian books that Ren had forced her to learn by heart when she was younger. He was another man Akito grew to hate, like her father.

She put the book down and she turned her head toward the shoji doors when she heard a sliding noise. Kureno appeared and showed a face of surprise by seeing the girl up so early. “Akito? Are you alright? You had trouble at sleeping last night?” Akito simply shrugged.

“No, it was alright.” She lied, actually she had been so excited by the idea of seeing Shigure that she couldn’t fall asleep. Plus, they both texted until late last night. “Just the cold that wake me up.”

Kureno moved his palm on her forehead. “No fever” he observed and smiled gently “Don’t get sick alright? You can sleep with me tonight if you are cold.” He offered and the maid behind them coughed before throwing a judging glare at them. Ren will know about it.

Two more domestics came into the room with plates. Kureno and Akito sat at each side of the table and waited for the servants to leave before starting to eat. Akito drank her miso soup and took a little bit of salmon. Kureno put a piece of cucumber on her rice and she grunted. “Hatori told you to eat more”

“I know, but you are annoying.” She talked back and his friend just smiled and swallowed his rice, she didn’t like much the food here, it tasted bland. The miso soup was either too fermented or too hot. She was always finding fish bone in her salmon. Whatever the maids prepared, Akito hated it, or maybe it was the ambiance of the mansion that made her hate the food. “You need to get healthy if you don’t want to be sick” he gently reminded. “I can’t take you out if you’re too weak Akito”

Her eyes go wide before she frowned again, she stared at the salmon as if it was its fault and she reluctantly ate it all. A small portion of rice in her bowl was the only thing left on her plate. She lied down on the floor and stroked her stomach “Damn…I ate too much” she glared at Kureno “it’s your fault, it hurt so much!” she moaned, rolling on her side.

“You will thank me later Akito, I promise you” he said with patience as he opened today newspaper.

“You wish.” She whispered, hiding her face in the crook of her arm.

* * *

“It got pretty chilly lately so watch out, alright?” said Kureno brotherly as he zipped on the anorak she was wearing. “Here” he dusted her shoulders and smiled. “Go have fun, I’ll pick you up as usual” he smiled and she send him back a small smile before going out of the car. The icy wind bit painfully her cheek and she shivered suddenly. Kureno’s car was heated so the freezing weather did surprise her and her body. She shook her head and walked in direction of the parc. She looked at the gray sky and she remembered that they announced snow at the radio. She wondered if she will have the chance to see it with Shigure.

Akito found him standing against a tree and looking at the distance. They were not meeting at the pond anymore; it was useless now that the flowers were dead. Instead they would see each other near of the same tree where Shigure was resting his back against. He was wearing a new coat that made him look like even taller and slender than he already was. Akito hated him for being this handsome, she couldn’t control her heartbeat or her smile when she was next to him. This idiot was eye-catching and the women walking across that parc were fixing him with a drooling expression. Akito felt a rising possessive and jealousy emotion by the sight of it, wanting to groan a ‘he is mine’ that was threating to come out of her mouth. She wanted to say it, but it wasn’t the true. He was like a wave, elusive and she was scared of the simple things that could made him drift away from her again. He wasn’t like the cursed, they shared no bond, she guessed, they shared nothing but moments. Moments were like cherry blossom, fleeting. How can being with somebody could brought you joy and fear at the same time?

She stared at his wonderful shape before eyeing what she was herself wearing. It was Kureno brown down jacket, so awful in comparison to Shigure’s trench coat. Hesitantly, she took a step toward him and he turned his head over her. He smirked, she exhaled steam before walked to him. “You’re late Akito-chan~” he sang, imitating her voice.

“I should be the one surprised, it’s unlike you to be early.” She grunted, trying to avoid looking at his face before she would be too mesmerized to look away. He pinched her cheek surprising her “Your grumpiness is legendary, you know that?” She lifted her face and punched his shoulder with her little fist. He made screamed so dramatically his pain that it couldn’t be realistic and she hit the other shoulder. He caught her wrists, not even trying to hide his laugh and she pouted. “Annoying!”

“It’s my nature, I can’t help it” he laughed and put one of her hair locks behind her ear, provoking her to blush highly. “Put your old perfume?” he asked with his deep voice. She felt goosebumps; so he had notice that she had changed her perfume. She bit her cheek. “No? Why?” he shrugged “Oh, nothing I thought” he simply snuggled his head in his scarf and took her by the hand, it was warm and she had to held back herself to no lean into the touch. She knew that Shigure wasn’t fond of touch. He was the one initiating contact, never the other way around. She hated not having the right to do so, but she was also scared that he would leave her again, so she said nothing.

“How was new year?” Asked Shigure. Akito’s frown melt into a fond smile, she had the chance to talk with Yuki until the sunrise. She had been glad. “Like usual, I talked with my family until late.”

“Did you do _Hatsumode_ yet?” he said changing the subject, looking at her as they walked. Akito answered by the negative “I’ve never been in a Shrine or Temple.” She explained, though, she knew the rituals, she was a god after all. Shigure eyes went wide and he stopped. “What? You never visited a shrine?”

“Yeah, so what? Is that a crime?” she went on the defensive and Shigure waved his hand. “No, no, but it’s surprising, you didn’t go with your family?” she shook her head. Kureno used to go with his own family before they moved out of town. He never had the right to take her with him. She had stayed each time in her room waiting for him to come back. “That’s not good Akki, you have to go at least once in a shrine!”

She rolled her eyes; she was pretty reluctant now that he judged her. “Come on! It will be funny” he pleaded and she narrowed her eyes. Since when going in a shrine was funny? She thought she was never going to understand his sense of humor. “There is one not too far. Let’s go! I think it’s too late for _Hatsumode_, but at least, let’s visit?” he tilted his head, his bang falling handsomely on his eyes. Even if he had a stupid expression on the face, he was way too charming. She bit her cheek; she couldn’t say no to him when he was this stunning. “Fuck…” she muttered.

“What a colorful language.” He said, smirking. He showed her his hand and she took it without hesitation. Hers was so cold and his so warm that she had goosebumps. His thumb was rubbing gently the back of her hand and she couldn’t help a smile. She dared a look at him and even if he had a confident nature, his cheeks were also reds. It could be from the cold or from her. She liked to think about the latter. As Shigure was leading her to the nearest shrine, Akito noticed snowflakes starting to fall. She lifted her free hand in aim to catch one. However, even if her hand was icy, the snowflake melted when it touched her palm. “Don’t worry, by the time we arrive to the shrine, it will be all white” said Shigure, putting their enlaced hands in his pocket.

As they walked on the path leading to the shrine, Akito noticed a couple snuggling against each other, they too had also their hands in his coat pocket. They weren't looking different from Shigure and her, if not for the girl resting her head on his shoulder. She stopped in her track and removed her hand from Shigure’s pocket, staring him. He turned his head to see her, perplexed. “Akito? What’s wrong?” he asked, tilting his head. Akito wetted her lips, hesitant and then took a deep breath. “Shigure, what are we?” His eyes went wide before looking aside, grimacing. She could see he was struggling.

“I don’t know, what do you want us to be?” he finally asked with an unusual serious expression in the eyes. He avoided his eyes and Akito did not know what to answer. She wanted to tell him she wanted to be with him, to be like the lovers she had saw the last months. She wanted to embrace him, to feel his warm and board chest against her, his strong arms around her back. She wanted to kiss him and to be kissed by him, she wanted to tease him as he teased her. She wanted to tell him about her worries, she wanted him to tell her what he was thinking. She wanted to cry and him to comfort her, sometime she even wanted him to be angry at her so they could argue and after apologize in each other arms. She wanted him to love her as much as she loved him. But her throat was dry and she saw the way he avoided her eyes. “I don’t know Shigure…” she said instead. It had a bitter taste in her mouth. They stood in silence before Akito drop another bomb. The mood was already tight yet she felt like she could ask anything.

“Shigure…Why did you stop coming?” she finally asked after so long. She fixed his grey eyes going wide again and he tried to laugh it off “Ah…Akito, I told I had a lot to think and I-”

“Shigure!” she warned, raising her voice and interrupting his probably well-prepared excuse he told her weeks ago. She knew it wasn’t that, she knew he had something else in mind. She was the one of secret, but never one of her had hurt Shigure, not the way he had done it with her. The man looked down, his face showing a genuine expression of guilt before looking back at her, probably to study her face. She was frowning, but it was different. It wasn’t the frowning she did to hide her embarrassment, shyness or irritation. No, this frown here was from somebody seeking the truth, it was an angry and desperate frown.

Shigure sighed and dropped his eyes once more. “I’ve been in love with somebody for a long time” he said, his voice echoing painfully in Akito’s ears. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t just a whim on the moment.” He explained and Akito bit her lips hard in a tight line. Tears were threating to fell and she did not want to cry, no, not yet. She took a deep breath. This man was the worst.

“And I wasn’t?” she asked with a sour voice and a hint of hope. Her throat was painful.

“I don’t know yet honestly…” He answered and Akito desired to slap him, to shout at him. ‘_If you don’t know yet, why did you come back then? Just to play with me. Fuck, I hate you, I hate you so much. Why are you making me feel like that? Fuck it shouldn’t have happened, it shouldn’t!_’ she thought painfully, her tears rolling on her cheeks red from the cold weather. “You’re a jerk” she finally said. And Shigure smiled sadly “Yeah, I know.”

“I hate you” she articulated through her sobs.

Shigure walked to her and wiped a tear off with thumb. She looked at him right in the eyes, her chin trembling from the too much of emotion she was trying to held back. “When will you know?”

“I don’t know…” he said, his eyebrows and lips twisted in a sad expression. “I’m sorry Akito.”

“Shut up! The fuck you’re sorry!” She shouted “If you’re sorry, just hurry up and make a choice!” she barred her teeth angrily.

“It’s hard Akito” he simply answered in a gentle tone, he even shrugged. Akito wanted to slap him but she also wanted him to takes her in his arms. “You’re just playing with me, ah!”

Shigure frowned and framed her face with his hands. She cried even more, why was she still loving him even when he was hurting her that much. “I hate you” she repeated, sniffing.

They stayed here in that position until she calmed. The snow had the time to pile up and all around them was white. She sneezed, the cold and the vulnerability she was feeling had the better of her. Shigure chuckled fondly, making Akito’s heart beat faster. He removed his scarf and wrapped it around her neck. “Here, I don’t want you to get sick” he said with care in the voice. She just nodded.

“You still wanna go?” he asked quietly and she nodded once more. He showed his hand and she took it. This time he did not try to warm it by rubbing his thumb and putting in his coat pocket. They just walked in silence to the Shrine.

They found it in a deserted place and Akito was perplexed, she had always thought that shrine where always full of people. Sound like she was wrong. The shrine was small but did not seemed abandoned, the place was clean and there were foods offering. Yet, the place was small and desert, there were no ema stands nor stands selling luck-charms. She liked it; the only sound was from the birds. She stood up looking at the white snow piling on the red gates, creating a contrasting effect. A shiver putted her out of thoughts and she noticed that Shigure had let go her hand.

“It’s small” she observed. Walking around only to stop in front of a _kitsune_ statue. “There are as many shrines as gods.” Said Shigure eyeing her.

“I wonder how they feel…” she said quietly, putting her hand on the icy muzzle of the fox, feeling concerned.

“Hm? Who?”

“The god of this place…” She was a god too after all, she wondered if the one living here understood her feeling or if it was just her. She turned her head to watch Shigure humming in wonder. “I think they’re alright, people still visit them, you saw the offerings? As long as they are not forgotten, they will be alright.” He said, and Akito wondered.

“What kind of god are they?” she asked and Shigure shrugged looking around. “I don’t know, it’s hard to tell” he said, rubbing his fingers against his chin. Akito grunted _‘Well, it wouldn’t be the first time today’ _she thought sarcastically. “But you know, you can ask whatever you want at a shrine, if you pray enough, the god may grant your wish, who know?” he smiled caressing her cheek with the tip of her fingers before taking her hand. They walked to the _saisen box_.

“A wish to ask at the god of the shrine…” she whispered to herself, looking at the box. She searched a coin of 500 yens in her bag before bowing twice and clapping her hands two times together. From a god to a god, they should be supportive with each other. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

_ ‘If you can make wish come true, then make sure Shigure choose me.’ _

She opened her eyes and bowed. Shigure followed her. She hoped the god would have mercy on her. They were the same after all. “Shigure, let’s go.” She said, turning her back to the shrine and walking away. Shigure followed her, his footstep noisily cracking the piled snow. They walked down on the stairs when she asked him what kind of wish he did. He laughed goofily. “Akito, if I tell you it won’t come true.” He said with a smirk. Akito groaned. He suddenly stopped in the middle of the stair and looked at her “Hey, now that I’m thinking about it, let’s go to an Izakaya next week.”

She rose up her eyebrows. “huh?” Shigure downed the stair until he arrived at her level. “Next week, let’s eat in an izakaya. It could be fun? We always go in a coffee or a _kissaten_, so let’s do something new.” She hesitated, she wasn’t against new things, actually, she was always taking every chance she got, but… “Aren’t _izakaya_ closed during the afternoon?”

“Then let’s go for lunch?” he simply said, as if it wasn’t a big deal. But it won’t be easy for Akito to ask Kureno to take her earlier than planned without any suspicions. She was already grateful that he stopped asking questions, but if she were to ask him to skip lunch at the mansion only for her to eat out, and without him, it will be too much. It was sure to fail. She tightened her lips in a line. She really wanted to go eat somewhere with Shigure, even if it was just an _izakaya_. “Hum…I’ll have to see” she muttered.

“What, you can’t come earlier?” he whined. “Come on, let’s eat together! You prefer ramen?” he put his hands on her shoulders and shook her. “Come on Akito, let’s break our routine!” she rolled her eyes. “You’re annoying” she groaned, glaring at him. He simple smirked. “I know it’s my nature. So, let’s go next week?” he tilted his head and his cocky smirk changed into a sweet smile.

“I’ll see” she avoided his eyes. “I will tell you later, I have to…Deal with things first.” She said vaguely. Shigure stroked her hair. “Alright, let’s do that.” He took her hand and she tightened hers in his hold. She was feeling too good with Shigure to let him go. She will make sure he will choose her.

They walked around until Kureno came to pick her. Shigure let her at the entry of the parc like usual and she rejoined Kureno in his car. “My, the snow came out of nowhere.” He said, dusting the few snowflakes off her hair. And if Kureno noticed the scarf around her neck that wasn’t here before, he said nothing and started the car. “It wasn’t too cold?”

“I can handle a little bit of cold.” She said nonchalantly provoking Kureno to chuckles. She twisted her fingers anxiously “Tell me…Next week, I want to eat outside.” She said, fixing the road. Kureno turned his eyes on her, mouth open before taking his attention back on the road. “I see, shall I drop you off earlier then?” he simply answered and Akito eyes widened and she immediately turned her head to him, surprise apparent. Kureno stopped the car at the red light and he looked back at her with a meaningful look.

She felt her guts twist uncomfortably. _‘He knows!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Hatsumode: the first visit of the year in a shinto shrine or bouddhist temple  
•saisen box: the offering box in shrine or temple where you throw money in  
•Kissaten: traditional japanese café (basically)
> 
> I don't know if all of you know those japanese words nnn (I mean, i guess you all know that Kitsune is more or less a fox but Hatsumode or saisen box are more technical words...)  
Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! Akito is starting to pine hard for Shigure here huhu~


	16. Chapter 15

_She snuggled closer against him, her head resting on his chest. She was sleeping peacefully in his embrace. It felt nice, having her arms around his neck and feeling her chest against his body. It felt right, it felt perfect. He gently passed his fingers on her white cheek before kissing the top of her head. She moaned, waking up and her eyelids flickered before she rose it up toward him. They stared at each other and then they kissed. She moved closer to him and he kissed her cheeks. Her quiet laugh made his feel a unhabitual warmness in his guts. “Shigure, you tickle me” Akito said between in soft giggles. He laughed too; he was so happy. _

_Another pairs of arms that’s wasn’t Akito's came around his waist, warmer and blindly shinning. His heart missed a beat and Akito wasn’t smiling anymore. Instead, on her face were inconsolable tears rolling and rolling on her cheeks. As he tried to wipe her tears off, Shigure felt a weight on his back immobilizing him. He tried to call for Akito but the words were caught in his throat. _

_“Shigure!” she cried even more as the hot-heated arms were tightening painfully his size. He couldn’t even breath. He looked everywhere, seeking for help and his eyes caught the sight of a black dog judging him. The tried to stretch his arm in its direction but the two women on him were too much and Shigure was starting to gasp for air. He was feeling dizzy, the world turning around him. All he could heard was now the Akito’s heartbroken voice calling for him. _

Shigure opened his eyes suddenly and took a deep breath as if he has just been choked before, sitting brutally in his futon. He coughed and took a few seconds to caught his breath. Once calmed, he passed a hand on his drenched face. He turned around and gave an accusing look at the heater just next of his bed. He rose up grumpily and walked dizzily to his bathroom. He looked at his own reflection in the mirror. He looked like a dead. Well, he hadn’t slept a lot last time because of his dead line, and coupled with today nightmare, no wonder he had bags under his eyes. He stared a moment at himself and he found a certain charm in this look. “Sohma Shigure, you’re bomb in every situation.” He auto-complimented.

He removed his sweat drenched kimono and threw it on the floor, where layed a pile of clothes, and took a shower. Today he was going to eat with Akito, if he was going to look like a dead, he preferred avoiding smelling like one. He stayed a moment under the warm water, humming a random tone he heard at the radio before stopping the shower and shaking the water off his hair like a wet dog. He took a towel that was wandering around on the floor and dried his hair and the rest of his body. He passed his fingers on his five o'clock shadow and sorted out the razor. He thought that he should call a cleaner to tidy up his house, it was starting to look like Aladdin’s cave. He coughed; his throat hoarse. For once, he will have a good excuse to see Hatori. Yet, he couldn’t regret to have given his scarf to Akito, a part of him felt satisfied knowing she have a something he owned with her.

He quickly put his hands on a clean pants and shirt, slipped in his trench coat and walked out of his house. He chilled at the first step out and rushed to Hatori’s practice, it was too cold today. He knocked vividly, hoping his friend would have mercy on him with this freezing weather. He heard movement behind the door and knocked louder. “Please! I know you’re here! I heard you! Haa-san pleaaase!! It’s freezing outside!!”

Hatori slid the door open. He really did not want to see Shigure lately. He did not know what the man had said to Akito, but Hatori noticed that were eyes were starting to get distant. How he knew it was because of Shigure? Well, Akito wouldn’t ask seduction advice to him if it wasn’t about Shigure, he was the only man she wanted to be with. _“Just to know you see, lately maids started to feel a little too much comfortable around”_ she has lied, avoiding his eyes and twitching her fingers. It’s a tic of her when she was lying. He has been aware of it when she was lying about how much she ate her meal or took her treatment. 

He eyed the bastard who did not made his work easier and noticed his naked neck. He held back a knowing smile. “What’s wrong, you don’t have a scarf?” Shigure coughed as an answer and Hatori opened the door wider to let his friend in. “You want a tea I guess.”

“Please Haa-san, my throat's dying.” Said Shigure, removing his shoes in the gekan. Hatori handed him a cup of warm black tea once he took his habitual place on the seat. “Shigure, how many hours did you sleep last night?”

“Don’t know, Three? Maybe four? Mii-chan screams were worth it.” He chuckled, sipping his tea before spitting it brutally, sorting out his burnt tongue. “Watch out it’s hot.” Said Hatori, ignoring the outraged face Shigure was doing “Could have tell me before” he whined. Hatori ignored him and read Kisa health file, apparently the little tiger had a cold. He looked back to Shigure who was coughing, sound like she wasn’t the only one. He sighed and took a stick.

“Shigure, open your mouth” he ordered, walking to his friend and holding his jaw in his hand. “Ah! What a good doctor, I don’t need to tell you anything and you already know that I-” he had been interrupted by Hatori’s stick. Shigure opened his mouth wider, helping his friend to examine his throat better. “You only have a strep throat, maybe it wouldn’t had happened if you hadn’t given you scarf away, idiot” scolded Hatori, putting the stick in the trash.

Shigure blinked a moment, he did not remember telling Hatori he gave his scarf. “It’s alright, I can buy another.” He said. “I’m going out today, so yeah.”

Hatori sat down on his chair before remembering today’s day. He was going to see Akito. Urgh, with his luck, he was going to get her sick with his throat infection. He passed his hand on his face, Akito could be more annoying than Shigure when sick. “Please, be careful with other people when you’re out.” He grumbled, knowing that Shigure won’t.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a throat ache, I feel alright.” Answered Shigure, misunderstanding his friend concern about his health. It’s true that if his body was too weak, he could transform. But it won’t happen today, his throat was just itchy and he just need something stronger than tea to not faint from the lack of sleep. “You don’t have coffee here?”

His only answer was a long stare from his friend.

* * *

He took his coffee can from the vending machine and opened it then drank it before grimacing. Nothing was better than freshly brewed coffee, but at least thank to it he will be able to stay awake until the late afternoon. He coughed and looked his watch. He wondered if he should call her before hearing familiar footsteps, he turned his eyes and took a sight at the girl running at him, stepping on the white snow.

“Here, don’t rush” he said playfully. “Who’s rushing” she talked back, out of breath. “I’m not” she felt the need to add, wiping her sweat off her face. She bent down, catching her breath. Shigure put his hand on her back. “You’re alright? Need to sit down?” he asked before yawning. He had another sip at his coffee. “I said I’m alright.” She moaned and stood again. Her face was all red from the effort and Shigure noticed with a lot of satisfaction and pride his scarf around her neck. He wondered if it still had his odor or if it had taken hers.

He saw her tilt her head. “You look like a disaster.” She said after studying his face, she boldly rose up her hand to his face, touching softly with her cool fingers the place under his eyes. The way she was looking at him with such attention made his heart lump “What are you saying, it’s the proof of my hard work!” he said with a high pitched that made her cringe, trying to take back the control of his body and wrapped his fingers around hers. “And, isn’t that sexy?” he winked and she rolled her eye before sighing loudly, crossing her arms. “As if.” However, Akito’s redness didn’t went unnoticed.

Smiling to himself, Shigure drank the last drop of his coffee before putting it in the trash. He rubbed his hands against each other, it was really cold today. “Hey, let’s go?” he showed his hand to Akito who took it, intertwining their fingers. He wished he could do more, he wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and holding her against his torso. He craved for affection and he couldn’t neither took it nor gave it to her.

He took her to his favorite _Izakaya_, it was far from the parc and they had to walk about half of hour before getting there. Useless to state that Akito was grumpy, complaining about the cold or how her feet were hurting. “We passed in front of a hundred of _Izakaya_ already!” she moaned, pulling his hand. Shigure smirked. “Yeah, but it’s not mine~” he explained. True to be told, he has been tempted to go in one of these shops, his body was screaming for it, but he was stubborn.

Once arrived, he opened to door for her, mimicking gentleman manners. She frowned and entered, Shigure on her heels. The owner recognized him and shouted in a Kansai dialect. “Hey! If it isn’t our sensei! Came with a friend uhu!” he laughed and showed to him and Akito a table for two, passing his arms around their shoulders. Akito was visibly outraged by the man manners and scowled, grimacing. Shigure waved at the owner who walked away. “Ah, I forgot to tell you, he is very affective haha.” Akito stared.

Shigure laughed at her expression and removed his coat before taking his seat. “He is a very nice guy, and his food is the best. He is from Kobe. He came here after 95’s earthquake.” He explained, looking at Akito before asking her to take place on the seat in front of him. She stood still a moment before removing her coat and his scarf around her neck. Shigure eyes went darker. She had removed two buttons of her shirt, letting him see the birth of her breast. Not that she had any, but it was the first time since the moment she had wear that skirt that she showed him more of her skin. The nasty girl, she even put a necklace to attract his eyes down her chest. He forced himself to look away before being too excited. What kind of torture was that? And even with his eyes fixing the wall in front of him, her natural smell coming from her jubblies was taunting his nose. He wanted to put his face right there and mark her as his. Damn, he wasn’t even in the mood to tease her about it, the smell was dizzying his senses. He felt himself getting warmer.

“So, what do you recommend?” she asked, forcing him to look back to her and Shigure opened his mouth before closing it again, looking quickly at the menu. “How about _yakisoba_ and _Karaage_ first? Let’s order more after.” He said “Oh, and let’s order _sashimi_ too” he quickly added, and noticed Akito deep frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing…It just…isn’t that’s a lot?” She said. Shigure blinked. “Hm? It’s normal, we are two after all.” He shrugged; it wasn’t a big deal. Akito didn’t seems to share his opinion and was frowning even more. “It’s okay” he said. “Eat as much as you can, you don’t have to force yourself” He smiled gently and her frown melt away. She put a strand of her hair behind her ear, visibly embarrassed and Shigure eyes followed her fingers before slowly downing on her white neck. He wondered how hard it would be for her to hide marks with such of a white skin and he started to imagine all the whiteness she was showing him full of red spot he has kissed, from her neck to her breasts. He coughed and served himself green tea.

A waiter came and Shigure ordered their meals. Akito stayed here quietly, looking around the place curiously. As he expected, she wasn’t used to that kind of place. Shigure really wondered what kind of life she lived when they weren’t together. She said she was working in management. It looks like she was working in a men majority company. That was probably why she was only wearing these unstylish and unfeminine attire. He never asked her why she did not wear girlish clothes, she was free to wear what she wanted after all. Who he was to judge? Though, he wanted to see her again in one of these skirt or cute dress. However, seeing the effect of seeing a little bit of her body on him, he thought that it wasn’t that bad now. Once again, his eyes caught the sight of her necklace hanging to her chest. He took another sip of tea, trying to erase the dryness in his throat.

He forced his eyes to stay on the cup of tea and he coughed in his arm. Akito looked at him with a hint of worry in the eyes. “You’re sick.” She observed. “Nothing serious, don’t worry.” He smiled and poured himself another cup of tea. He noticed her pout and poked her cheek with his fingers. “What’s wrong?” he said in a playful tone. Akito sulked cutely. “Nothing.” She just said.

“Akito, I won’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell me.” He gently told her before coughing in his arm once more. She opened her mouth, ready to answer but stopped before she could say anything. She fixed her fingers on the table. “Akito?” he called, she mouthed something, hesitating. She gulped and said lowly, in a whisper “That’s mean you had to go home early.”

So, it what was bothered her. “No specially, it’s just dry throat.” He cleared his throat. “You want to be with me that bad huh?” he taunted and she kicked his leg from under the table. “Don’t get full of yourself!” she talked back. Shigure had a dry laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay here just for you, Akito-chan~” ah, this look. She was ready to kill him. Maybe she would if the waiter hadn’t come with the plates.

Shigure started to dig the _yakisoba_ while she just took a piece of raw tuna. She tasted it, frowning before taking a second piece. “Good huh?” She nodded and took a piece of fried pork. “It was worth all the walk, right?” asked Shigure, a cat alike smiles on his face. He picked an octopus _sashim_i and licked his lips after swallowing it. “Oh, eat that!” he took another octopus between his chopsticks and rose it to Akito’s mouth level. She took it in her mouth and chewing it, tasting it well before swallowing. “Prefer the pork.” She said and ate more _karaage_. “Hey, let some to me” he fought with her chopsticks for the last piece of fried meat. She tried to put all her strength in the battle, but even with a weakened body, Shigure had more force in the fingers than her and finally hammered his chopstick in the fried pork and quickly put it in his mouth. Akito pouted and she decided to try the _yakisoba_.

“Hey, didn't you said that it would be too much for you, look like you have no problem” he chuckled and ordered _Yakitori_. Akito quickly slurped the noddle before arguing. “Shut up, it’s just better than I thought.” She said and took fish with ginger. By surprise, she started to cough and Shigure quickly poured her tea. “Here” he said as she drank the cup in one go. “strong huh?” she nodded, erasing the taste with _yakisoba_. He smiled and they both finished the plate of _sashimi_ before the waiter served the _yakitori_. Akito was rubbing her stomach but still take a skewered chicken.

She lied down on her seat after they finished the plate of _Yakitori_. “I’m never going to eat again” she moaned while Shigure was cleaning his teeth with a toothpick. “Haha, you wanna go somewhere?” he said, throwing the toothpick in one of the empty plates on the table. Akito just moaned louder. “I can’t move” she said. “ate too much, it’s your fault.” Shigure whined “Hey, I did not force you to eat.” And then he coughed, his throat not appreciating his use of his whiny voice. As he tried to breathe between his coughs, he swore he heard Akito whisper ‘that’s karma for you’

“Not fun, I could have died Aki’.” He cleared his throat and took another cup of tea; he saw her cocky smile. Damn, she was too alluring with this expression. He wanted more. “Where shall we go?” he stretched and Akito looked at the ceil, her hand still on her stomach. “In a place where I won’t move” she said.

Shigure rested his head on his hand, thinking. “Hm, how about seeing a movie?” she shifted on her seat. “Cinema?” she asked with excitation in the voice, Shigure smiled joyfully, glad to have picked her interest. “Yeah, let’s go see a movie, sound good, isn’t it?” he put his hand on hers laying on the table. He smiled fondly at her blush, this view felt right and good and he wanted to kiss her lips. Her fragile hands fitted perfect his after all. She nodded vividly. “Yeah, sound good.” She repeated. He rubbed his thumb on her hand one last time before rising up to pay. Akito followed him, she wasn’t waiting at the exit anymore.

“What do they have?” she asked as he was handing cash to the owner. He shrugged. “I don’t know, let’s see what they have?” he simply told before walking out, his hand on the little of her back but making sure there were space between them.

They both chilled once they were out, the cold surprising them. Akito sneezed and she quickly put the scarf Shigure gave her around her neck and zipped on her coat. He coughed in his arm once more and they walked around until finding the closer movie theater. “They only have animation…” said Akito, frowning. “Hum…there is also a foreign movie.” Shigure pointed the movie poster, an American comedy.

“What it’s talking about?” she asked, getting dangerously closer to Shigure chest that he had to take a step back. She looked at him with wide eyes and he felt the need to clear his throat before reading the movie synopsis. “Hum, it’s about a father who have been raising his children alone and he decide to leave them behind to get a new life once they became adults. However, because they are completely lost without their dad, they decide to do a journey to find him.”

She scowled. “I would be ashamed if I was the father.” Grunted Akito. “I would never do something like that.”

“Well, it’s true it’s irresponsible, but maybe the father had his reason? Like, his children were relying too much on him or there was tension between sibling? It could be interesting no, let’s watch it?” he looked at her scowl. “No, I’m not interested.” She said sharply and then looked at the others movies posters. At the end, they both agreed to watch a Korean movie about family. The theater was almost empty. People were mostly at work or at school, as expected for a Wednesday afternoon. It’s okay, Shigure prefered it that way.

The film was somehow boring, but Shigure had never been really fond of the family genre, probably because of his own. Not that he had it bad, if he were to compare with his cousins. It’s not like he has been abandoned like Isuzu, Momiji or Yuki, but he had never been close to them. So in result, he couldn’t get into the stake of the movie. And the darkness of the place him sleepy. He narrowed his eyes and tried to keep his attention on the movie, but he found it boring and decided to roll his eyes to his adorable neighbor. She was wearing a frowning expression. For anybody, it would like she was angry, irritated, but Shigure knew better and saw the incomprehension in her black eyes. Maybe at home too, she had trouble with her family, he started to imagine a million of scenario about her.

He reported his attention back on the screen and yawned. God, he really wanted to sleep. He layed completely on his seat, resting his head. His was fighting the urge to close his eyes but even now, he was starting to lose himself in the movie, wondering what they were talking about. Without him noticing, he closed his eyes. _‘Just a few seconds’_ he said to himself.

_They were walking in his garden when she suddenly pulled him to the Sohma’s pond. She pointed the koi fishes with sparkle in the eyes. He crunched next to her and she wrapped her arms around his. Akito was so warm, shining. The blue dress she was wearing reminded him of the sky and her smile the sun. Her laughs were like a sweet echo in the wind, a song that made him feel euphoric. He noticed a dog walking to her and asking to be petted. Akito let his arm go without hesitation and hugged the animal. “I love you so much…Let’s stay together forever…” she muttered. The dog was wagging his tail in ecstasy. _

_Shigure hated that. He did not want to share, not Akito. Never. He sent to the dog a hateful glare. How Akito chosen it instead of him. He genuinely loved her and he could make her happy. He was the one she needed. Not a dog simply wagging his tail for a little attention. She may be happy with it but she won’t reach the happiness. The dog was forcing her to stay, Shigure was making her discover the world. They could go outside of his garden, they could go to the beach, to the forest. He will make her meet news people. But this dog was going to tie her down here forever, imprisoning her. It will end to hurt her. _

_Shigure won’t allow it. Suddenly he took Akito by the waist and pulled her to him, far from the dog. Akito tried to break free, telling she was not ready, not yet, not without them. _

_“Shigure…”_

_Please Akito_

_“Shigure”_

_I’m here… _

“Shigure!”

He snapped his eyes open. His heart beating out of its cage. He passed his hand on his face before noticing that he wasn’t resting his face on the seat but on Akito’s shoulder. He jumped away from it, the face white. He tried to control his heartbeat; everything was alright. Akito wasn’t shocked nor horrified. He did not fall in her arms. He did not transform. He calmed himself and controlled his breath “Sorry, did I fall asleep?” he hid his stress behind a sheepish tone.

Akito nodded. “Yeah, you surprised me.” Shigure laughed before noticing that the room was empty and that the credits were on screen. “You let me sleep until the end?” he asked, unbelieving. Akito turned her head away to hide her blush. Shigure felt his cheeks becoming hot too. _‘Ah, fuck.’_

“A-anyway, it’s the film is over, let’s get out.” She said, rising up of her seat. Shigure followed her and looked at his watch. It was already late and Akito will have to go home. It annoyed him that she couldn’t stay more with him. Suddenly his dream came back in mind. It was strange, this dog. He wasn’t stupid, for him, having a dog in his dream wasn’t insignificant. Well, to starting with, he never considered his dreams as insignificant. But why Akito petting that dog annoyed him in there? Wasn’t he the dog? Shouldn’t he have been happy? Suddenly he wondered…Wasn’t he doing the same thing Akito have done in his dream?

His deep thoughts must have showed on his face because Akito was looking at him with curious eyes. Shigure smiled, his two eyes forming a bow “Yeah? Want to say something Akito?”

She frowned. “Earlier” she started, hesitating. “You were having a nightmare?” she looked directly at him, right in his eyes. Shigure smile freeze and he scratched his head guiltily. He turned his head away to open the door. It was still as cold as this morning. “No, no really, but it was a strange one” he laughed. “Dreams don’t make sense anyway, right?” he taunted, lying.

“I don’t know, I don’t really dream” she said. “Everybody dreams, it’s just that you don’t remember” he answered back, rubbing his hands against each other to get them warm. “We have a lot of road to do before getting to the parc” he said, ready to walk. “Shigure, why don’t we go by bus?” she said, pointing one. Shigure tried hard to not grimace. He definitely won’t take the bus, at this hour it was starting to get crowded, the risks were way too high. No, thing like bus or subway were banished for the cursed like him. “But, it’s better to walk no?” he said. “I wanna stay longer with you” he winked. He wasn’t lying after all; he did want to stay more with her.

“But it’s cold” she said, visibly irritated. “Want me to get you hot?” he teased loudly that people were looking at them, already walking so she had to follow him.

“What?! Are you stupid!” she shouted, the face red. She rushed to him. “I can’t believe you!” she said, failing to keep a controlled face. Shigure giggled before coughing loudly. “That’s all you deserve!” said Akito, still mad. When Shigure continued to cough, she stopped frowning and hesitantly started to rub his back awkwardly. “Shigure…You’re okay?” she asked in a little voice. He made a ‘ok’ with his fingers and tried to take his breath before coughing one last time. Akito was now looking very worried. “It’s good, it’s okay, we better walk quickly alright?” he said in a gentle tone. She nodded and Shigure took her hand.

During all the way back, Akito had worry in the eyes, even if they were talking vividly. He liked it, having her caring so much about him. It made him want to hold her tight against him and reassure her. But he couldn’t. Instead, he just stroked her head and told her gently to not worry. “I don’t want to end sick because of you” she said stubbornly. He was ready to whine about how hurt he was when a ringtone interrupted him.

Akito looked for her phone in her pocket and took the call. “Yeah…No, I’m on my way” she said, her eyes wandering between Shigure and the road. “Hum, yeah really good, I ate too much.” She laughed charmingly and Shigure stared in front of him, listening her. Who was she talking to? How could they make her laugh that way, so soft, like touching satin? “Hum, I’ve watched a movie… No, it wasn’t really good, but I will tell you later? At home? Yeah, right.” She answered.

At home? Maybe it was a sibling he thought, however, he couldn’t help wanting her to talk softly at him like that. He desired being more domestic with her. It wasn’t good, he was falling even more and more for her. He remembered how miserable was Hatori when Kana and him had broken up. _‘She said we are meaningless…’_ Reminded Hatori’s heartbroken voice.

Was he and Akito meaningless too? Did they have a future with the curse? No, the curse won’t let you be a part of the world, it takes away all the people you desire being with and force you to stay imprisoned together between animals in an eternal banquet, while the god was locked in a cave. He fisted his hand, didn’t _Uzume_ and _Omoikane_ danced and organized a banquet for _Amaterasu_ to leave her cave? But if all of zodiacs were also locked in, how could they make the goddess go out? Realization came. They were all locked in, they were not different from the girl Ren imprisoned in her room. If he wanted to go out and to live his life, he needed it all to stop. He needed to break the curse.

He needed to hurt the god, he needed to leave her.

“Sorry Shigure, my friend just called me, he was worried that I was late.” Explained Akito, putting her phone back in her pocket. Shigure smiled and held her hand harder. “No problem Akito. Let’s go quicker before we worry him more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •1995 Kobe earthquake or Great Hanshin earthquake was one of the worst earthquake in japan during the 20th centuary.  
•Karaage, Yakisoba, Yakitori and Sashimi are all japanese foods. Sashimi mean litterally 'slice of body'. It's litterally a slice of raw meat or fish. Karaage is deep fried food, it's mainly chicken in Japan but it can also be pork. Yakisoba is fried noodles while Yakitori is meat piece (mainly chicken) grilled on skewer  
•Uzume (the goddess of dawn, mirth and revelry) and Omoikane (the god of wisdom and intelligence) organized a loudly party (banquet?) to lure Amaterasu (the Sun goddess) out of the cave she put herself in. 
> 
> Aaah!! Akigure is started to get more and more fluffy <3 nnn I can't wait for you to read the chapter 17! The next chapter will be set on Ren POV and her motivation? You know, understand a little more her in this fanfic?? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Please tell me if you did !!


	17. Chapter 16

“Madam, your tea is ready.” Said her favorite, putting a cup on her desk. Ren waved her off, not looking up from her paper. It was about an assignment of property in the city, good news, it will bring money in the family. Ren smiled to herself, proud of her, it was been years since she started to work with the people living here, buying bit by bit the estate until it was completely to the Sohma’s. Now that the family died, it was all theirs. All she needed to do now was to raze and built something else.

Ren hummed as she sipped her tea. She eyes drifted to the photo resting on the altar in the corner of the room. She rose up and walked to it. She slowly sat in _seiza_ and caressed the photo tenderly with the tip of her fingers. “I did well, right Akira?” she said softly, lovingly, her eyes genuinely showing affection. “I work hard for the family, I’m sure it’s what you would have done, right love?” She took the photo and held it against her chest. “Even after they rejected us, I still want the best of them. I think sometimes I am even way too kind to them. But it was important for you, so I do it, because I love you more than anybody.” She was smiling, like a high schooler talking about her first love.

“I miss you so much…” she whispered and stood up, still the photo against her heart and sat back at her desk. She put Akira here, on the wooden table, where he could be close to her. It was where Akira should always be, next to her. But the domestics were stubbornly always putting him back on the altar. It wasn’t his place and they should know it by now.

Ren heard the sound of a sliding door and she turned her head to it. A maid came and bowed. “Madam, it’s time.” She said respectably, bowing once more. Ren clicked her tongue, annoyed, and put her long Haori on her shoulders. She passed in front of a long mirror and inspected her reflection. Her long hairs were wrapped around a golden pin and her kimono was free of folds. Its color was plain, perfect for a mourning woman.

She stepped out of her office, the maid on her heels. “I heard that your son allowed the rabbit and the ox to study at the mouse’s high school.” She said quietly, her eyes locked on her feet. Ren frowned. She shouldn’t have given power to Akito, he was going to do a mess everything up with her incompetence. Four cursed in a co-ed school? It was going to be a catastrophe. These cursed were so annoying, their existences weren’t even natural. But at least, since the time she gave that son of her the right to rules the zodiacs matters, Akito stopped to whine. That fake boy voice was annoying.

She walked down to the hallway, toward the gathering room. She inhaled deeply once she was in front of the fusuma doors, separating her from the rest of the family assembly that was at the other side of the doors. She closed her eyes. Most of them were part of the oldest part of the clan, she deeply hated them, and they shared the sentiment. They had tried to separate her from Akira, tried to prevented them to marry, yet, the moment she ended pregnant with that pathetic child of hers, they changed sides and treated her like the legitimate wife of the chief, all because of a stupid curse and because she had been bearing a god in her wombs, what a joke. That ugly child, a god? And those hypocrites…Akira may had believed them; he had always been to kind and too trusting. It was from these reasons she loved him, after all. But Ren wasn’t idiot and she knew they tried to manipulate them and she refused to fall in their trap.

She opened her eyes and opened the doors, announcing herself. The dean and the rest of the family’s elite turned their head to her. In the middle of the people, Ren recognized the rat and serpent’s mother next to the dean. An old man looking more like a bonze than one of the highest members of the Sohma’s clan. She remembered how he had been against her and Akira’s marriage, she also remembered his disgusting hands on her belly when he wanted to feel the future god of the family. Like most of the people gathered here, he was treating the cursed like a benediction. If Ren succeeded to make the rest of the family horrified by the mere sight of one of those animals, the people here stayed faithful to the tradition of the clan. Ren rolled her eyes at the leftmost of the room, where the people who were on her side were sitting. It was alright.

“I apologize for the delay.” She bowed “Thank you all for your patience.” The people in the room bowed their heads. “And we thank you for coming, Madam Ren.” Laughed wholeheartedly the dean, as she walked to the chief seat, sitting in _seiza_. She and the others member of the clan assembly looked at each other before the dean took the floor.

“Well…Madam Ren, I think we need to talk.” Started the old man, smiling gently, almost paternally. Ren won’t give in; she knew what kind of man he was. She remembered him calling her a slut when she and Akira announced their engagements. “It has been more than twenty years since the death of our dear master Akira.” Ren closed her eyes, more than twenty years she was missing his presence, his gentle smile and his sweet voice, more than twenty she was like a living-dead. “And, we all agreed to let you take the regency of the clan until our new master Akito is old enough.”

Ren tensed. So, this is why they called her over. They were going to take away her regency. She gulped, that won’t do, she need to find a solution. “Oh…I fear Akito is not ready yet to assume his responsibilities as the head of family.” She said, holding her voice in a confident tone. She heard people in the crowd starting to whispers. Ren planted her nail into the tatami to keep composure.

“He is twenty, ready or not, he has to be the one leading this family!” said a man at the right row of the room. “This is a shame, Akito is the real head, he is Akira’s son! Why can’t we see him!” Ren heard somebody slamming his hand on the hardness of the floor. “And don’t forget his place! He is a god and the zodiacs are not even allowed to see him! It’s an embarrassment to all the previous generations!” It was the rat’s mother. Ren had to refrain herself to roll her eyes, as if this venal woman cared about it, all she wanted was money. Ren remembered how much this woman wanted to sold his son to Akito’s, or at least using him for income _‘I have two cursed children, I want compensation for it!’_

“For the first time all the cursed are gathered, and we separate them! It’s a waste! A shame!” Another old man said, before coughing loudly. “I heard that for the new year too, master Akito was behind a screen, what are you hiding Madam Ren?” said another one. A person from the left talked back. “Watch your language in front of Madam Ren, she is the one who leaded the Sohma’s clan for the best! It has been years since we had any trouble about money.”

“And for which reasons?” asked somebody else. “Because the cursed compensation income had been suppressed! And it was right, they can live without that!” the voices went even more and louder, as a competition to know who will be the one to be heard the more easily. Ren stood silent in that hubbub. It only stopped when the dean shouted, cutting off all the discourse.

“We are not here to talk about the cursed’s fate, only god have this power!” he said, his voice keeping the crowd silent by respect. “this is not the subject; however, this family need its real chief. Madam Ren, as much we know you did your best for the family, it’s time for you to let your seat for the young master Akito.” Ren was trembling in rage. “As I said, Akito is not ready yet an-”

“Then I’m sure that people will support him, don’t the rooster already help with the family business already?” interrupted the same dean. Ren stared him, trying to keep her straight face. The room was painfully silent and nobody dared to argue with neither of them. “Madam Ren, it’s time to go”

“Akito is really fragile, his health won’t allow him to move too much, you shouldn’t force that poor child” she said, still trying to kept calm, she couldn’t let the rest of the people gathered here see her anger. “As was Akira-san” answered a woman. And Ren felt her blood freeze when she heard somebody compare that useless child with her beloved late husband. She gritted her teeth and threw a deathful glare to the woman. Her face lost all colors and she bowed her head. The dean cough took her attention back. “Madam Ren, I fear we had to take the family seal and give it to Master Akito.” He stretched his hand to Ren and she fixed it with wide eyes.

“What tell me that you won’t keep the seal for yourself?” She said, taking her composure back. People from the traditional side of the family started to argue, screaming outraged. The other side defended Ren, explaining that it was a legitimate question. Once again, the room was full of loud hubbub.

“Even if Ren present us Akito, who could tell us it’s him! Nobody ever saw how it look like, for all we know, he could be dead!” somebody gasped in the crowd. “How dare you accusing Madam Ren!”

“I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just stating a fact, nobody saw master Akito!” they answered back, irritation in the voice. “My son did.” Said the rat’s mother with proudness in the voice. “I can bring him when we will see master Akito.”

“The same goes for the rooster and the dragon, master Akito should be with the twelves as the god he is!” somebody said “they shouldn’t be separated anymore!” the voice became so violent that Ren had to silent them all. “We are not here to talk about the cursed!” she said loudly. “The family seal is in my office.” She said when she obtained the silence.

“Madam Ren, just ask to your domestics to bring it to us, and then let’s lock it in a box. Once of us will kept the key until master Akito take his place as family head.” Ren and the dean shared a look before she waved her favorite. “on the desk…” she whispered to her through her gritted teeth. The situation was so humiliating and Ren knew that all the Sohma gathered in this room were delighted by such show. She hated them so much. The maid bowed and walked away, leaving Ren in that room. The tension was such that it could be sliced with a knife.

“…When we will see master Akito?” asked somebody at the left with a quiet voice. “When he will be ready” answered back Ren, trying to not sound disgusted. That son of her was going to annoy her until the end. The maid came back a few minutes after with the seal in her hands. It was a stamp made with the finest work, given from generation to generation for centuries. Ren studied the seal before handing it to the dean who put it in a lacquered box. He locked it and give the box to his neighbor, taking away the sign leadership of the Sohma clan from Ren’s. It was more symbolic than anything, but it infuriated her.

“Madam Ren…we expect to see our chief in a month” said the Dean looking right into Ren’s dark eyes. She merely nodded. As she bowed her head, she felt like tears stinging her eyes. She hated them so much. The meeting stopped a half of hour after and Ren bowed once more in respect, however, she felt like it was the worst humiliation ever. She walked back to her office and asked to be left alone. Once she was the only person left in the room, she started to throw on the floor all her files, vases and books in the room. She shattered the mirror and then her legs give up and she kneeled down, hiding her face drenched in tears against the wood of her desk. They were having their fun by seeing her being that humiliated.

They were all going to pay, this family, those animals and this disgusting Akito. Ren was sure that brat was laughing as well behind her back, oh…She will make him pay. She rose up her head, dark anger in the eyes and fisted her hand. She stood up and arranged her clothes and her hair. Yes, she was going to makes Akito pay this humiliation. She smiled, already making a plan to make sure that even if Akito receive the seal, he won’t have a little bit of leadership.

Stepping out of her office, she walked across the mansion, going at the opposite side, where Akito and Kureno were living. She did not care about the domestics bowing at her sight and walked furiously until arriving to Akito’s living room. She was with Kureno and Ren stayed a moment in front of the fusuma door, listening their conversation.

“…Her name is Arisa, Arisa Uotani. She is working in a combini near of the parc.” She heard Kureno said. “You’re going to see her again?” asked Akito in a harsh tone. “Well…I really would like to…” there were a moment of silent. “Akito what about-” Ren chosen this moment to slid open the fusuma doors, startling the two people who were talking over the _chabudai_. They both paled and Akito’s eyes grew wide of fear and anger.

“Kureno, out.” Said Ren, staring at her child right in the eyes. “Madam…” said quietly the man, noticing his friend distress. “I said _out_” repeated Ren, louder and making the man jump out. He hesitantly looked at his friend and downed his head as he walked out. Akito stood up and stepped back as Ren walked to the girl and studied her shape with a sickened expression.

“I can’t believe it…You’re so…Pathetic…” said Ren, talking to herself, as if Akito wasn’t in the room causing her to tense her shoulders. “You, the chief of the family, what a joke!” She circled the girl and she was so focused on her anger that she did not noticed the anger in her daughter eyes. “Nobody cares about you…Even your dear cursed!”

Akito gasped. “It’s not true!” she dared to talk back and Ren slapped her for her recklessness. “Don’t talk back!” she shouted and Akito brought her hand to her red cheek. “If they cared about you, they wouldn’t try to leave you!” Akito mouth went agape, she was trembling, livid. Ren saw how the girl wanted to talk back and Ren took her by the chin, planting her nails in the soft skin. “You think I didn’t hear you just now?” Akito eyes widened. “Kureno also want to leave you huh? After all, it’s thanks to me he is by your side, other way he would be already far away.” She pushed Akito to wall and the girl's back made a loud sound at the impact, the air leaving her lungs. “And for your rat, he doesn’t see you much huh.” Ren laughed wickedly.

Akito fell on her knees, coughing. “They will all leave you after your useless and unnatural link break. And this time, I won’t ask them to stay here…Oh no, you will learn that nobody need you.” Ren studied the pitiful shape of the girl trembling. She remembered how humiliated she has been this afternoon by the Sohma and her rage arisen once more, she kicked violently her back, ignoring the yell of pain and crashed her heel in the softness of her waist. “Get up!” She ordered and Akito slowly complied.

“How can a stupid, ugly boy like you can be a chief!” Spat Ren, tensing Akito’s shoulder even. The woman turned around the room and took a vase that she threw on the floor when she heard her child whispering something. “Did you say something Akito?!”

“I…” Akito was shivering even more and Ren found her awful. “Talk!” she shouted and Akito sniffed before turning toward Ren. “I said I’m not a boy” she said breathlessly, the head down. The mother felt her blood boil and she slapped the girl brutally, sending her to the floor. “You?! A woman! Don’t makes me laugh! You barely look like a human! You’re ugly, skinny and shivering! You should thank me to hid you from the cursed, they would be all disgusted by seeing you!”

Akito sniffed even more, her weeps made Ren’s head ache. “You better watch your ugly body. In a month you will be presented to the family’s elite.” Akito raised up her head and Ren cringed by seeing some tears in the corner of the girl eyes. Akito was for sure surprised and Ren felt the need to explain, because this stupid child couldn’t understand. “You are going to receive the seal of the family head.”

Incomprehension stood in the girl eyes and the mother simply rolled her eyes. “What a stupid child…” she muttered, massing her temple. “I expect you to be ready by then” she threw one last look at the girl on the floor and walked away.

“Kureno, take care of that mess” she said to the man waiting at the other side of the doors when she opened them. He did not wait for her to be away to rush at Akito’s side, calling her name in worry. Ren fixed her clothes and walked out of the house, stepping in the exterior garden.

She walked bare foot and looked from far the people walking in the way, she heard the joyful rabbit voice and turned her head to it. “Tohru~ Kazuma invited me tonight! So lucky!”

“For real Momiji? It’s so great!” the high schooler answered in delight. “Right~ I also called Haru and Kagura! We will be all celebrating our future entry at the high school! Tori and Shi-chan will be here too!” he laughed.

“What! But you are always at home! You are bothering stupid rabbit” shouted the cat.

Ren watched them, with the rat they were all walking back at Kazuma’s, holding bags full of groceries. Ren wondered how this girl could act normally with all these monsters at her side. It was sickening, she was ready to go back at home when she noticed how close the boys stood to the girl. It was as if they were shielding her and Ren couldn’t hold back a smile. Even the monsters that Akito claimed to be linked with preferred to be with a stupid high school girl than her. They did not try to fight Ren orders to see their god, no, they preferred eating hotpot with that girl, even the rat that was meant to be the god closest animal was walking away.

Ha, this family was going to pay, the curse will break and they will have to bow under her feet. Ren couldn’t wait for this moment. This Tohru girl could be really useful in the future.

Yes, she will make Akito eat the dirt, she will break down the symbol of the Sohma family and show them that they were nothing. She will destroy everything and makes them understand to not underestimate the woman they belittled and humiliated. They will make them all pay, for her and for Akira’s names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every Japanese family use a stamp instead of signing. That's why the symbolic of the stamp is important in Ren's eyes, even if at the end, it won't change anything.


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is waaay longer than the other, but it was one of my favorite to write, i hope you will all like it!

“Akito…wake up, it’s already past eleven.” Kureno’s voice woke her up softly. She rolled over and moaned. Her back was hurting and her mother’s nasty words have been haunting her mind for the past week since that day she broken into her living room to announce her she was going to be presented to the rest of the family. Akito remembered, Kureno passed the rest of the afternoon comforting Akito in his arms. However, she couldn’t help but think how she wished it was Shigure arms around her instead. _“Why is she always mean to me”_ she had sniffed, rubbing her cheek against Kureno shoulder. That night before sleeping, she had needed Shigure so much that she had dared to call him, it was the first time.

“Oh, Akito, it’s unexpected, you missed me?” he had laughed but stopped when he heard her sniffing. _“Akito?”_ she had not answered and Shigure after a silence started to talk about a westerner movie he was watching at the TV. His descriptions made her laugh. _“I’m sure you’re lying_” she had said softly, in a smile.

_“I promise you I’m not, they really dismembered Santa in their bathroom before throwing the body parts all around the zoo.”_ Akito despite the horrible day she had been through, giggled. She stopped when she heard footstep in the hallway. _“You sound better”_ said Shigure and Akito just nodded, not that Shigure would know.

_“Yeah…See you Wednesday.” _She had just said and hung up.

She was very excited to see him today, but she was scared he would tease her about that call she dared to do days ago. “I’ll be waiting for you” said Kureno, stroking her head before rising up and leaving. Akito narrowed her eyes to the window. It was now a matter of time before the cherry trees blossoms. She checked the hour; it was now more a time to eat lunch than breakfast. Not that it mattered for Akito, she wasn’t eating much to begin with. She thought that it was better if she prepared her clothes to go out now instead of changing after meal. She removed her nightgown and walked naked to her bathroom. At this hour, there were no servants here. They prepared their dishes for the breakfast and lunch early in the morning and came back late, at dusk.

After a long shower where she tried to not think about Shigure and the fact he was in love with another woman, she found herself standing up in front of her closet. She grimaced when she noticed that all her casual clothes were either turtleneck or shirt. She really wanted to wear new clothes, but Ren and the servants would notice those new suits and Akito was scared of what could happens in that case. She grumpily put her shirt, trying to make it loose around her waist so she could look a little bit feminine. Then, she kneeled down and searched for her hidden box. She took out the feminine perfume Kureno bought her and the necklace she had stolen when she was still a child. She put it around her neck and hoped that she would look somehow girly.

She started to change her appearance as much as she when determinately decided to make sure Shigure would choose her over that other person he had in his mind. She did not dislike it and it looked it was working. She had saw the man eyes wandering on her chest a couple time. She hoped he was seeing her as a woman and not comparing her to a man, worse, comparing her to that other person and laugh. She brought her hand to the pendent, highlighting her low-cut unbuttoned shirt. Her eyes drifted on the paper bag where Kureno’s dress was. She never wore it and she wondered a moment if she should. Ren’s words flashed in her mind and reminded her how ugly, skinny and pale her body was. Her in a dress sounded more like a joke. She shook her head and quickly sprayed perfume on her skin and closed the box then the closet door. She wanted to cry but she refused to and preferred to leave her room to rejoin Kureno, hoping eating her meal will ease her mind.

He was reading casually the newspaper and he rose his nose up when he saw her at the doorway. “Oh, you’re already ready to go.” He smiled softly. Akito simply nodded and take place in front of him, she quickly sipped her miso soup, grimacing by its coldness. She gulped hardly and eyeing the rest of the plates on table. It was always the same here, the same clothes, the same meals, the same people serving her, the same rooms, she had enough, it was enough. Kureno was eating his salad when she clicked her tongue. “A problem Akito?”

“Yeah, why do we always eat that bland rice and the same damned codfish!” she threw her chopsticks on the table, making Kureno jolt, surprised. “Akito…I’m sure the domestics are doing their best and-”

“So why it’s always the same, can’t we eat new things?!” she grumped. “Like, I don’t know, nabe? Or sukiyaki?” Kureno bit his cheek. There was no way they could have that kind of dishes here, it was a family meal, they needed to be many for such event, and since it was only the two of them eating. And with her little appetite…No, it wasn’t possible. “Akito, I understand you are tired of it…Maybe we could ask the domestics to prepare something new for tonight, you want to eat something in particular?” he said gently, trying to ease Akito anger.

She frowned even more but at least she heard him and she was staring at her knuckles on the table. Her lip quivered before she muttered a small “Karaage…I want karaage.”

“Okay, we will eat karaage tonight then.” He smiled and Akito felt like a child, it annoyed her even more and she wanted to scream at Kureno to not talk to her that way. She felt ashamed.

She took her chopsticks and planted them in her salmon, the fish felt heavy on her tongue and she forced herself to swallow. She missed bad the warm ambiance and Shigure company during her meal since the day she tasted the joy to share one with him. Both her and Kureno stood in silence. For his part, Kureno missed the time she was still telling him everything that passed through her mind and that they were talking non-stop during the meal time. He almost succeeded to open her out enough so she was ready to talk about this person she was seeing when Ren came.

“Akito…Do you have something to tell me?” he said, making her head tilt. He was watching her with knowing eyes. She looked aside, refusing to face him. “No…” she said. Kureno sighed, he remembered Yuki’s advice and decided to be straightforward. “Akito, I know you’re seeing someone.” He said and she let her chopsticks fall as her eyes widened in fear. “Ple-please Kureno, don’t…Please, I don’t want to…”

He blinked at her distress. “A-Akito, what’s wrong?” he asked, confused. “Yo-you’re going to tell me I had to stop seeing him, right? That you won’t drive me to the parc anymore and that I…I” she was starting to tremble and Kureno moved to her side of the table. “What, no, of course no. Why would I do that?” she looked down, hiding her face. “Because…It’s not good, I should stay here instead of going out”

“It’s true it’s troubling but…You really want to be with them, right?” she nodded. “It’s with them you went eat last week?” she nodded again. “Sound like you’re having fun uh.” He stroked her head. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anybody Akito, you know you can trust me.” He said in a brotherly tone. She rose up her face and looked right in his eyes.

“You won’t leave me neither?” she asked in a small voice. “No, I won’t” he put a lock of her drenched hair behind her ear. “You still need me, right?”

Akito opened her mouth and then closed it and bowed her head. “uh…” she nodded.

* * *

She stared the can she had bought earlier at the vending machine. She was really tired, it was like she could be euphoric and the second after, collapse in tears. She wondered if it had always been like that before. She felt like in the past she could control her emotions and her desire better. Maybe the difference was that she had none before.

She lifted her head and her eyes caught the sight of a woman walking on the path. She was beautiful, her legs were barely hidden by the cute wavy dress she was wearing and her hair were waving in the wind and Akito’s hands tightened around the can, squeezing it. She too wanted to look this beautiful and wear dresses but each time the idea bloomed in her head; Ren’s words were coming back. The same she have been hearing since she was little girl. It had crawled so further and so deep in her mind that it became a truth. And each time she was looking at her body in the mirror she would see how pale sick her skin was, how scrawny. She fixed the voluptuous chest of a girl walking near to her and then slid her eyes on her own and touched its flatness. She bit her lip, she decided that today she won’t cry.

She felt warm hands on her cheeks coming from her back and she jumped. Shigure smirked. “You looked so tense, somebody needed to lose you up!” He chuckled and Akito hit his chest with her punch.

“Ah! Right in the heart!” he dramatically stepped back, as if she gave him a brutal punch. Akito rolled her eyes and rose up from the bench. “Stop it, you look like a fool.” He laughed even more. “Ouh, sound like our little Akito is angry today.” He sang.

“Exactly, don’t annoy me more.” She grunted, crossing her arms. Shigure exhaled a smirk and shrugged. “Here…” he said, sitting on the bench and patting the space next to him, asking her to sit as well. She sighed and executed herself. “Now, tell me, what happened for you to be this moody…I mean, more than usual.” She glared at him, frowning deeply. “Why do you care?” she spat, Ren’s words telling her that nobody cared about her. Nobody. She bowed her head, hiding her face.

“Akito, you called me in tears, I’ve been worried.” He said gently, his voice like velvet against her skin. He leant down to see her face and passed his fingers through her hair, putting a lock behind her ear. She looked at him, surprised to see a genuine expression. She felt comfort in it, she downed her head again, unsure. Her hands were trembling from the emotions.

“Shi…Shigure.” She started, her trembling. She stubbornly stared her hands, as if it could make the spams coming from them stop. She took a deep breath and she risen up her head. “Am I ugly?”

Shigure fixed her for a moment before a laugh burst out. Akito looked at him with a horrified expression before blushing from humiliation. “I get it! Stop laughing!” she shouted, too hurt to try to hide her anger. She took him by the collar “I said stop laughing!” Shigure took her wrists and pulled them away from his shirt, still giggling. “Haw, Aki’, what are you saying?” She stood silent, feeling her eyes becoming wet. “That was what made you so sad?” his laughs stopped but his irritable smirk was still present. She looked angrily at him, she felt betrayed. At the end, he was as mean as Ren.

Shigure framed her face with his hands. “Akito, you are adorable.” He chuckled. “I don’t know what made you get the idea you’re ugly” he laughed again. Akito frowned. “You’re laughing!”

“It’s because-” he scoffed. “You caught me off! And it wouldn’t even cross my mind that you’re ugly!” he shook his head. “You’re really lovely Akito” he smiled honestly, and something that looked like adoration in his eyes made her blush “Really” he repeated. She looked aside, embarrassed. “You’re just trying to make up for it.” She said.

“Haha, you wish huh.” He said, and pinched her cheek. She groaned and pried his hands off and turned her head away from him. She knew he was going to tease her again. She looked at the people walking before them. Her frown melt into a regretful expression. She caught a man trying to pick up a girl in a floral dress. It was blending perfectly with the incoming spring.

“I’m not feminine…” she said so quietly that she wondered if Shigure heard her. “Even if I’m a girl…I look nothing like one.” She added, anxiously gripping her pants. Shigure hummed “So you want to be womanly…” he said, looking at the blue sky in thoughts. “Akito!” he said suddenly, making her jump in surprise.

“Let’s buy you a dress!” he said beamingly. Akito mouth went agape. “What? No… No, no I can’t!” she said when he took her hand and pulled her.

“Why not? I already saw you in a skirt and it looked great on you, I’m sure a dress will be ravishing on you!” he said, leading her out of the parc. “Shigure!” she called, really unsure and stressed out. “Stop joking!” she said.

“I’m not though” he said, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I think it’s a good idea.” Akito stopped breathing. He was serious, he was really going to bring her in a shop to buy dress. She put all her strength in her arm to stop him. “Shigure I can’t!” She said desperately. Shigure turned his head to her and stopped in his track.

“Why not?” he tilted his head, frowning in incomprehension.

“I’m…” she downed her head again. “I don’t have a pretty skin…I’m too skinny…I don’t have boobs…I-” she said breathlessly. Shigure blinked. “Mmm, I’m not an expert in anatomy” he said, his fingers under his chin and studying her shape “But I’m sure there are a lot of women in the same case as you and yet, they are womanly.” He shrugged. “As for your breasts…Well, sure it’s small but from what I see, it’s present” he said, viewing and appreciating her low-cut. Akito bit her lip “Don’t make it sound like it's easy.” She muttered.

Shigure sighed and scratched his scalp. “But Aki, it is easy.” He simply answered and she fist her hands, boiling in frustration. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re dealing with, but you need more confidence” he took a step toward her, they were really close. Akito felt like that there was just an inch separating them. He took her by the chin and forced her to look up, right in his eyes. “Akito, you are a beautiful woman”

She blushed. “You’re saying this so I won’t cry.” She said frowning deeply.

“Huh? So stubborn…” he sighed and Akito wanted to run far away. It was a horrible sensation. “Akito, you won’t know until you try right? For my part, I’m sure that it would suit you.” She looked away. “I won’t make fun of you, I promise” he said gently.

She slowly nodded and Shigure stroked her head. “Good girl.”

They continued to walk, it was much more farer than the Izayaka they’ve been and Akito felt her stamina going down. “Urgh, how far it is? Where are we going anyway?!” she moaned, annoyed. “We are going to one of my friend’s shop! He makes lovely clothes, I’m sure there will be one of your taste~” he sang, winking at her. Akito’s eyes narrowed. “Why I don’t trust you?” Shigure chuckled. “Don’t said that, Aaya does the best clothes!” he said.

“Oh, really?” she said doubtfully. “So I’m sure you already bought him clothes mm?” he laughed again and Akito gritted her teeth, will he ever stop one day? “I told you, he does girl clothes. As much as I love his sewing, it won’t size me” he put his fingers under his chin and he smirked even more. “Ah, now that you said it, I bought a cute dress once for a really nice girl, I owed her this” he winked and Akito expression froze. Was he talking about this other girl he couldn’t forget? She grimaced.

“Don’t think too much about it, she is way too young for me, it’s just a high schooler and I teased her a bit.” He said, as reading into her mind. “I said nothing!” answered Akito on the defensive, however she felt a little disappointment knowing that he does tease others people like he does with her, like if she wasn’t really special to him. She frowned and tightened her hold in his hand. She decided long ago that she would be the one Shigure will choose. _‘Nobody cares about you’_ Ren voice reminded her. She gulped.

“We’re almost there, I recognize the way” said Shigure in a joyful voice, a finger in the air. “If I remember it’s just…Here!” he said before turning in an alley, pointing a shop sign which was too eyes-catching to Akito’s taste. She was really starting to regret following the man. “Ayame huh…” she said. This name was familiar but she couldn’t put the finger on where she heard it.

“Yep’” he said in a ‘pop’. “Let’s go in~” He said and pulled her to the store.

“Welcome here, how can we hel- Oh! If it isn’t mister Shigure!” said a woman wearing a maid costume. Akito eyes widened in a second, ready to pluck out of their orbits. She looked at Shigure with an expression mixed between horror and incomprehension. “Ah! Mine, it has been a long time, how are you~” he said, ignoring Akito and walking to the maid. She was going to kill him. She was so going to put her hands around his neck and squeeze it until there is nothing left but dog meat.

“Fine! You want me to call the boss? He is working on a dress right now!” she said and Shigure begged for it in an annoying tone. When Mine was gone, Akito pulled him brutally by his sleeve. “Are you shitting me? You said you were serious! The fuck is this place? A call-girl costume store?!” She screamed so loudly that he had to put a finger in his ear. “Aki, no so loud, they could hear you” he said playfully.

“As if I care!” She spat “There is no way I will wear a robe from here.”

Shigure had a cocky smile. “Here, here Akito, don’t say things you don’t mean~” he said. “I’m sure Aaya has something in store that you will like.” He walked around and touched a dress with sailor pattern. It could have been lovely on a teenager, but Akito knew that it wasn’t going to suit her. It was to catchy, with ribbon and lacy everywhere. She looked around and it looked like that all the clothes in the shop where made from those materials.

“Gure! My darling, what are you doing here?” Akito and Shigure’s head turned over the voice. Shigure made the most idiotic expression Akito had ever saw and walked dramatically to the man. “Aaya! Sweet heart! I missed you so much that I needed to see you. Tonight, I won’t feel lonely when I will think of you.”

“Oh _mon amour_, you just had to ask me and I would’ve come to warm your bed.” The men held each other hands in a poor imitation of a romantic position. Akito wanted to throw up. “All right!” they then said in perfect synchronization. Akito rolled her eyes and Mine clapped, stars in the eyes.

“Anyway, Aaya, let me present you Akito” said Shigure, showing her with his hand. ‘Aaya’ smile froze and he looked at her, completely bewildered. “Akito…” he said, as if it was a dream.

“Yeah, with Autumn and Door” Added Shigure to his friend, bumping his elbow, making the latter blink away his confusion for a big beam! “Of course! I mean it would be impossible that it could-”

“Yes, indeed Ayame” He interrupted, pulling the man closer “So Akito is looking for a dress and I thought that your clothes would be great on her” he winked. Ayame smiled sun-shined and then he circled Akito, he took her by the hand and inspected her. Akito frowned, most of the time she hated when somebody she hasn't allow to was touching her. Yet, she did not remove her hand nor slapped him for his daring movement. She let him do, as if it was normal to let him into her personal space. They looked at each other and Akito felt a warm feeling enveloping her. It was different than when she was with Shigure, less affectionate, but she felt like she was meeting an old friend. It was strange. Groaning, she retired her arm.

Ayame snapped out and called for Mine. “With a such white skin, the best would be darker tone, I trust you my dear” he said in a smile and Mine bowed. “Sure boss! Please follow me!” said Mine. Akito could see sparkling behind her glasses and she threw a last helpless look to Shigure who was waving at her before being taken away by the maid at the back of the shop. She put Akito into a changing room “Miss, I will get you the most fabulous and prettiest dresses we have here!” she said, holding Akito’s hands in her grasp. “You will be like a doll!” she said, trembling from excitation and Akito wanted to run far away.

“Stay here and undress! I’ll be back!!” Said Mine before leaving in search for clothes. Akito stood here a moment. Maybe she could seize the chance of being alone to run away of the store, but at the same time, she made all the way here. Akito will just have to refuse wearing stupid costume like Mine’s and just focus on clothes she might like.

Akito inhaled, taking courage, and undressed herself and then, waited for Mine to come back. She fixed her feet in her thought and did not heard the shop girl coming back until she heard a gasp. Akito rose up her head confused. “A-ah, sorry I’m just… Here, your dress!” she said, and bowed, leaving Akito alone with the dress. She touched the material apprehensively. It was soft to touch, and Akito was thankful it was patternless. Just a Prussian blue dress with white lace under skirt. It was cute, but Akito wondered if something like that would suit her, she who was looking more like an androgynous teen boy than a grow-up woman. She bit her lip and slid into the dress from the top.

Wearing this dress was a different experience from that time she had worn that tight skirt, she tried to looked at herself and twisted her back to try to get a better view of it. She somehow liked how it looked. Her legs felt free and she turned on herself, making the dress fly. She giggled, feeling like a princess she has read about in the fairytale books Yuki brought her in the past that they used to read together.

“Miss Akito, are you ready?” asked Mine from the other side of the door. Akito stopped smiling and she felt like she lost her voice. She felt so good just a second ago and now she was full of doubt. What if it wasn’t good after all? She slowly rose up her hand, her fingers reaching the door knob in a shiver. She opened the door and let Mine in, reluctantly.

“Haw! You’re so adorable! Let me see more!!” She said overjoyed, her cheeks taking a red tone. Akito was almost sure she heard her pant and she decided to step back. “Aah! It suits your body perfect! I knew it” Giggling, she stepped closer to Akito who was now trapped between her and the wall. “Please step back” said Akito, but Mine did not listen and took her by the chin. “A little ribbon in your hair and a bit of lipstick and you would be outstanding” said Mine, waving her hands hysterically. “Lipstick?” repeated Akito, unsure. Wearing a dress was already a big step, but make-up…

“Yes! Wait here, I’ll be back.” Akito opened her mouth to call her back but the door closed before she could say her name. “Ah! Damn!” she said and Akito felt the need to kick in something. She groaned and crossed her arms. In one day, she was going to buy a dress and get made-up. She clicked her tongue and decided to think about something else.

She got her attention back on the dress she was wearing. She had to admit it, but Mine had good eyes. She felt great in it, she hoped she also looked pretty in. It would be too bad if she wasn’t. Mine came back with a ribbon, a pair of shoes and a chair. She invited Akito to sit.

“Here, let’s put the ribbon.” She said, placing herself in front of Akito and showing her the accessory. It was nice and she let Mine play with her hair, putting the blue ribbon on her head side. Akito heard Mine moan in joy and she sorted out of her maid pocket a tube of ref lipstick. “Ah…I’m not sure actually.” Said Akito, she felt like it was going too fast and too soon. At Akito’s surprise, Mine simply smiled and nodded. “Alright, you already pretty that way” she said gently and comprehensively. Her smile was like honey and Akito wondered for a moment if it’s how women were meant to be. She was different of all the others women she has meet before. Neither Ren or the maids at the mansion looked and talked at her with that gentleness. Akito couldn’t help a blush.

“Here, I will put your shoes.” She said, kneeling down and taking Akito foot. She let do. They stood in silence until Mine talked. “Tell me Miss Akito…” she rose up her head. “Are you alright?” she asked without a nuance of slyness, just pure concern. No woman had talked to her that way. Until now, the only people who did were Yuki, Kureno, Hatori and Shigure.

She felt strange by feeling happiness just by having somebody looking directly at her. “I’m alright” she said, confused by the sudden question. Even if it made Akito happy, she did not understand why Mine asked it. She anxiously twisted her fingers. “Tell me…”

“yes?” said Mine, moving to the second foot. “Why…Did you choose this dress?” asked Akito “There are so many different types and you give me one of the plainest. Why?” Mine finished to knot her low-heeled shoe and lifted her head. “Because you looked distressed.” She simply answered. Akito blinked. “It’s the first time you trying that kind of clothes, right? Most of the people can be reluctant at it first, so it’s better to not scare them away with the most frivolous pieces.” She laughed. “Even if I shall admit, those are my favorite.” Mine winked at Akito and invited her to stoop up.

“You too, you will see, you will come back and try more dresses like this” she giggled. “I’m sure Shigure would be delighted~ I too I’m craving to see you in a navy uniform! You would be adorable.” Mine panted again and Akito was sure she saw her drooling. “Want to show him?” asked Mine and Akito blushed highly. She did not even saw herself yet, why would she care about his opinion.

She hated to realize that he was that important to her. Mine leaded her in another piece of the store, probably in the private wing. She heard from far the two men talking. “…hy not Gure, there is nothing wrong in it.”

“Aaya, you exactly know why I can’t commit with her yet.” Answered his muffled voice from the distance, Akito tried to concentrate on his voice. They were talking about her, weren’t they? “But I’m surprised you disagree with Haa-san on this one, I always thought you would be at his side.” She heard Shigure said through the door, he was laughing however, it sounded bitter to Akito ears.

“Well! I don’t think Tori is always right, but I won’t lie that he is a lovely pearl of smartness and beauty. However! We have different experience in love and it’s time, my dear Gure, to have yours! So, grab your chance before it flies away!! If I can do it, without a doubt that you can too!!”

Mine opened the door at this moment. Even though Akito was hiding behind her, she could see Ayame with a foot on the table and his arm in the air as if he just pronounced a hero speech. To Akito, he looked like a dumbass. “Boss, we’re ready!” Said Mine “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting your conversation?”

“Oh no Mine come in! Show us!!” Said Ayame as a king in his palace. Mine turned to Akito and lead her into the room. She was uneasy, vulnerable and everybody was looking at her. Even if she did not have these tights bandages around her chest, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She felt the need to bow her head so she wouldn’t have to face theirs stares. The room was silent and it tensed Akito. Something was wrong? Hadn’t Mine said that the dress fit her? Was she lying? Of course she was, sellers are liars, they just want you to buy their merchandises. Akito felt angry and humiliated.

“Well…” said Mine who sounded confused. “Isn’t she pretty?” Akito shoulders trembled.

“Yes…Very much” she heard Shigure whisper and Akito risen up her head to shout at him her fury for lying at her. “Don’t-” She started, only to stop in the middle when she saw the marvel in his surprised expression, all her anger disappeared. It wasn’t the first time she saw him having this face when looking at her, yet her heart was beating fast as if it was the first time. “Ah, maybe I should bring a mirror” said Mine, clapping in her hands and provoking the men to snap out of their reveries. When Mine passed next to Akito, she whispered her quickly in the ear with a wink “Look at their faces, it’s because of you.” And then she walked out.

Akito boldly walked to the men and tilted her head charmingly while fixing Shigure right in his eyes. “This dress makes me look like a clown.” She said and Shigure burst out while Ayame made an outraged gasp. “All my clothes are the perfection creation of what’s in my dreams are of! I can’t allow you to talk badly about it, no matter how stunning you are!” Said Ayame proudly, a finger in the air.

“That’s right Aki’, it’s a mean thing to say, especially when you look that cute in it” he said, pitching gently her cheek. Akito groaned. “She wanted to put lipstick on me” she complained and Ayame took her by the chin. “Ah! You would have been wonderful, a piece of art!” he said and his face to way too close of hers. “Aaya, don’t tease her too much, she is delicate” said Shigure, pulling Akito nearer to him, as to shield her. “Aah~ don’t worry my dear friend, I won’t take your demoiselle! You shall know Gure that you are the only one in my heart!” and now Ayame was caressing his friend cheek. Akito desperately wished Mine to come back quickly.

“Aaya~” called Shigure, with deep emotion. _‘Please, let me die.’ _thought Akito, feeling a horrible headache coming. Mine came back, noisily dragging a psyché and Akito suddenly understand why people worshipped Heroes like Gods. “Here it is! Look yourself in!” She said, jumping on her feet.

Frowning, Akito walked to the full-length mirror and looked herself in. Her eyes went wide at the moment she saw her reflection. She often imagined herself in a dress and always pictured herself to be like an ugly _Oiwa Iemon_ ghost but instead she looked more like a _Yamato Nadeshiko_. She was pretty, she was desirable. She felt like she could compare with the girls outside. She wondered if the person she was seeing in the mirror was her real self or if it was what she wanted to be. For sure, Akito won’t be able to wear boy clothes again without feeling betrayed and sickened. She decided that from now, she will be a woman.

She let her palm rest against the glass and she felt like crying, she was distressed but at the same time she felt good, better than she had never been. Noticing Shigure and Ayame were behind her. She turned to the man she loved who was looking at her with concern in the eyes, if she hadn’t been this mesmerized by Shigure she would have noticed that Ayame had almost the same expression and that he was confused. Very confused.

“So, does the dress makes you still look like a clown?” Asked Shigure with affection and sweetness in the voice. Akito looked at him with unrestrained love and she wanted to kiss him, right now. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and just rub his nose against his before stealing the air in his lungs to share a form her happiness. She rose up her hand to touch his cheek but before she could do what she wanted Ayame suddenly talked, snapping her out of her reverie. “Gure~ I going to make some special tea for your dear damsel, I’ll be back.” He said in a laugh before taking leaving a Shigure with a surprised expression.

“Uh, for real?” he asked, bewildered. Akito shrugged and looked at Mine who was as surprised as him. The maid excused herself and bowed before following his boss. Shigure stared the door the two owners left by before getting his attention back at her “Aren’t you lucky? Not everyone has the chance to taste Aaya’s special tea.” He said in a playful tone, leading her to the sofa.

“Lucky? I’m sure nobody drinks it because it’s repugnant!” Shigure pinched her cheek again and she blushed. Ah, she didn’t think she would grow used to it one day. “Don’t be nasty Akito, Aaya tea is good~ And don’t that mean you’re special.” He chuckled and sat on the sofa. Akito sat just next to him. “Yeah…you’re right, I guess.” She said, smiling a little. Actually, she was curious to taste it.

She felt Shigure play with a lock of her hair with his free hand, the other was used as a resting for his chin. Akito preferred to stubbornly look her hands resting on her thighs. She had to resist to long into his touch and to guide his hand lower, on her cheek, on her neck and lower, much lower. At this moment, everything was perfect, she was loving herself and she had the impression that Shigure was loving her too.

“Hey Akito” he said so quietly that Akito was sure she had dreamed it. “Why do you wear male clothes if it’s makes you unhappy?” he asked and he stopped caressing her hair when she turned her head to him, scowling in anger. “That’s none of your business Shigure.” She said so coldly that Shigure blinked in surprise before smirking. However, this one was different of the one he used to do when he was simply teasing her, not…This one made her felt cold sweat running along her back.

“Yeah, you’re right, Akito-san” the honorific made her heart misses a beat and she instantly regretted to have answered this way. He started to move away and Akito pulled forcefully his shirt, distress in the eyes. She was sorry, she wanted to apologize but the words weren’t coming out. Shigure studied her face a moment before taking his original position. Akito twisted her fingers anxiously. She took a deep breath, muttering her courage.

“I…Don’t have a choice, that’s the way I’ve been raised.” She said quietly, not meeting his eyes. She wanted to keep Shigure out of this, she wanted to keep only the good moment without thinking about Ren or the curse. She wanted to stay in that cocoon where there were only the two of them. “Why not, if you want to change it’s up to you.” Simply said Shigure, shrugging. Akito frowned, she hated how he made it sound easy.

“Akito” he took her by the chin. “It’s okay, you don’t have to force yourself.” He said gently and that hurt her even more. “What do you know Shigure?” she spat, trying without success to erase the anger in her voice. Thankfully, Shigure ignored it for a laugh. “Well, why don’t you tell me?” he smiled cockily, taunting her.

Akito scowled even harder. “And you Shigure, why don’t you tell me?” He tilted his head. “Tell you what?”

“About that other person?” She looked right into his surprised eyes. “What shall I do so you would choose me.” She tightened her hold on Shigure’s shirt and he was looking at her with so much sadness and regret and it broke her heart. As for apologizing, Shigure gently put his palm on her cheek, it hurt more than when Ren was slapping her. This gentle gesture was just crunching her hopes. Yet, she put her hand on his.

“Kiss me” she ordered in a whisper. Shigure snickered but framed her head with his other hand, and slowly leant his face close to her. Akito closed her eyes appreciating, their lips were at a few centimeters from each other when the door slammed open.

“My dear friends the tea is ready!” Sang Ayame loudly, ignoring how Akito and Shigure parted away from each other brutally. If Ayame had noticed the deathly glare of Akito or the strange mood, he said nothing. A part of her was telling her that he did not even noticed nor cared. He sat next to his friend and passed his arm around his shoulder. Mine simply smiled as she came with a plate, four cups of tea on it. Akito thought she really looked like one of those girls coming from Kureno's porn magazines that he hid under his futon with this posture. She put it on the table and handed a cup to Akito and then to Shigure and Ayame.

She fixed the tea and thought about pouring it in Ayame eyes and burning them with the hot water. But instead she frowned and took a sip, it annoyed her greatly that it tasted undeniably good. “So pretty rose, how it is? Heavenly right~?” She rolled her eyes and preferred to keep silent, Mine however nodded vividly. “As usual, boss, it’s the best!!” Shigure just chuckled and discreetly rested his hand on Akito’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Oiwa Iemon](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b7/c2/fe/b7c2fee6524aa1dc1fa2fda10cdeff4c.jpg) is a character coming from Kabuki piece Yotsuya Kaidan. In the story, Oiwa Iemon have been poisoned and that disfigured her (she lost an eye and became bald). She is the representation of a vengeful spirit.  
Yamato Nadeshiko is a japanese term to say personification of an idealized Japanese woman. It's often used to describe Japanese young women who have good traits that are rare. 
> 
> I hope you liked all this chapter, I allowed myself to draw [ the mirror scene](https://twitter.com/keisuke_AKM/status/1198280269201117188), if you're curious you can see here on my twitter.


	19. Chapter 18

It was one of those rare days were Mine wasn’t home. Her father caught a cold and with his old age, it was scaring the family. Nonetheless, Ayame took this chance to visit Hatori. He knew Shigure would be here too so the snake was already delighted to get some time with his dear mabudachi. It has been more than a week since Shigure and the little Akito came over his shop. The girl left him with…Impression.

The aura around her was strange, when Ayame saw her, he felt like he saw an old friend and he desired so much to impress her, making her proud and it did not make any sense because it was not in Ayame nature to care about others, especially a stranger. Maybe because it was the girl Shigure was in love with. Because this girl was the one who made the mad dog forget the goddess. She must be something, right?

Honestly, he had imagined a girl more stylish for Shigure, more feminine with bigger breasts and long hair. If Shigure hadn’t presented her, Ayame would have thought she was a male. A beautiful dude, but a dude nonetheless. Not that it would be the first one Shigure had one _‘At least, you can take them in your arms’ _he confessed once, Ayame had agreed vividly. But, Shigure expression when he looked at her was different, she wasn’t something like a girl he would seduce quickly for one-night stand. No, he way he looked at her was…He had a regard full of promise and honey. He never saw Shigure with this look.

Ayame really hoped that Shigure will follow his path and conquer his belle. He knew by experience how good it feels. Mine was so precious to him, he wondered how was his life before meeting her. Ayame wanted his two best friends to feel this same sensation. When Kana had broken up with Hatori, Ayame had been angry, really. If Shigure hadn’t been here, he would have gone to Kana’s and showed her his long list of why Hatori is the best man in the world and why she was idiot to leave him. At the end, Hatori erased her memories, he had never told Ayame why. Well, like said Shigure _‘que sido, sido, what happened, happened.’_ Ayame preferred to go forward, even if he had regret.

Ayame sighed and composed himself before opening loudly Hatori practice’s door. “My dear friends! I missed you all!”

“A-ah! Aaya, what a surprise!” said Shigure playfully. “Ayame, please, learn to knock before entering.” Said Hatori patiently. Ayame simply beamed as the closed the door in a quick gesture of the hand. “Tori, it has been so long!” Hatori greeted him with a nod while Shigure gasped. “How dare you to ignore me Aaya, after all the nights we shared, together against the world!”

“Oh…Gure, I’m sorry, should I show you how sorry I am?” he said, wiping Shigure’s tear off. Hatori waited to them to stop, reading a book. “All right!” they finished, showing their thumbs with proudness. “I’m still amazed you two continue to do this after all those years” said in a neutral tone Hatori, turning a page. Shigure burst out a laugh when Ayame invited Hatori to flirt with him, indecent hope in his eyes. “Ayame, if you take one more step, I will throw boiling water on you. You’ve been warned.” Said the doctor, not leaving his eyes off the book.

“What a shame Tori, but know that my arms are always open for you!” Ayame lifted his hands in the air, like a singing tenor. “Com’on Aaya, take a seat, the tea is good.” Invited Shigure happily. Ayame didn’t need to be asked twice and sat like the king he thought he was, pouring the tea from high, Arabian style. “By the way Gure, you didn’t tell me, did Akito liked my tea?” asked suddenly Ayame, the thought of the girl drinking his special tea flashed in his mind as he was pouring his. 

“Oh, yeah, but she won’t say it.” Chuckled Shigure. “What a shy girl you found my dear Gure~” his friend nodded proudly. “Isn’t she? Adorable beyond words~” he lifted his cup, as to cheer. Hatori was the one to interrupt them. “What? You met…” Ayame and Shigure blinked.

“Oh! Yeah! I met Shigure betrothed! She was totally different from what I expected, but she still left me great impression!” said Ayame vividly. Hatori was looking at him with wide eyes. “Yeah, I noticed it, I was so surprised, you made her your special tea!”

“Well~ I wanted to show her how good are your best friends.” He laughed. Actually, he did not understand why he did it. When he saw her distressed in front of the mirror, he hated it. Something deep in him was telling in a hiss ‘don’t let her be sad, you have to comfort her, comfort, comfort, comfort-‘ and without a thinking, he left in the kitchen and prepared her tea. Mine followed him just after. She too, was confused by it. “Is it because you wanted to leave mister Shigure and miss Akito alone?” she asked in a quiet and adorable voice. Ayame would have almost kissed her right away if only he hadn’t been so confused by the situation.

Also, during that moment where they were the two alone, Mine had told him something alarming. “Tell me Gure…Is she alright?”

Shigure smiled and tilted his head. “What do you mean by alright? Isn’t she special? After, I wouldn’t have brought her at your store if she wasn’t.” he chuckled and Ayame frowned. Maybe his friend did not know and he should tell him. For many time, Ayame missed the chance to do the right thing, ignoring those moments. Leaving his little brother when he needed help, heart breaking poor girls who did nothing but confessing their loves to him. Ayame stared at his tea. “Gure…”

“Hum…Why so serious Aaya?” asked Shigure. His tone wasn’t playful anymore, yet it wasn’t icy neither. He encouraged Ayame to tell more. “I…” He looked his friend in the eyes with anguish. “You know…When she was changing, Mine saw her naked.” Ayame saw that Shigure was going to tease him, a smirk on the lips but he quickly made a movement of the hand. “Shigure, she saw bruises on her back and red marks around her chest.” Shigure smile froze in instant and as realization was hitting him, his face paled and his eyes grew wide.

“What?!” said Hatori at the other side of the desk, almost in a shout. Hatori fisted his hands and Shigure’s eyes were looking at nowhere before massaging his temples. “Ayame, are you sure of what you’re saying?” said Hatori with a grave tone. “Why would I lie about it?” answered Ayame. Hatori clicked his tongue “She-” he said, irritated, palming his face. The three of them stood in silence. Ayame did not dare to take a sip of his tea, maybe he should have kept it for himself.

“You know…” started Shigure with a tired voice “I more or less told her that I was thinking about somebody else...And that I had to do a choice…” Shigure passed his hands on his face. “Ah, fuck…I knew it.” He whispered. “She did tell you?” asked Hatori.

“No, but you know, she is bad at hiding thing.” Shigure said in a bitter smile, Hatori couldn’t face it. “It’s easy to see that she is lonely and traumatized.” Shigure was so bitter and Ayame could see anger. He could imagine what his friend was feeling, if his Mine were in the same situation, Ayame would take her away from what was hurting her. Mine is his precious gem. “Shigure…Akito is…” he gulped, Ayame did not know how to talk for others, he always, always has been self-centered human being. He could only count on the fingers of his hands for the few people he cared, his friends, his brother…Mine. But, never ever he expected that Akito-girl being one of them.

“Gure, you have to elope with her! Take her far away!” Said Ayame without thinking. “Ayame…It’s harder than its looks, he can’t just kidnap her like that.” whispered Hatori, still staring the desk. If he dared to look at his friends, they would see his guilty expression. Why Akito did not tell him, or Kureno. He was her doctor for lord’s sake.

Yet…He was already aware, he just didn’t want to see, because he knew that it was going to hurt Akito even more. Ren had too many powers with her and the rest of the cursed would have suffered more than they already are. He had a thought for Kisa who have been bullied at school, thanks to Tohru she was now starting to open herself again, starting to love herself. To Rin who was doing absenteeism, if Haru wasn’t here, Isuzu would never go out of her house. To Momiji who was suffering in silence his abandonment. Hatori knew he was a coward, and this truth tasted sourly on his tongue, but too many people life was on the line. And he was calling himself a doctor, he felt like a joke.

“It’s not kidnapping if she is unhappy.” Argued Ayame, not understanding Hatori. He did not understand, why his friend was disagreeing on a such urgent matter. “Hatori is right Ayame, it’s not easy…” said Shigure. “But I’ve already made my choice.” He added, resting the back on his head on the chair, fixing the celling.

“What do you mean?” asked Ayame. Shigure just smiled and stood up. “Well…I have a meeting to attend, see you Aaya. Next time I’ll come buy a nurse uniform for Akito” he winked. Ayame promised himself to do his best for this occasion, Akito deserved the best. He still did not understand why he felt like that about her.

Shigure walked out of the practice, closing quietly the door behind him and leaving his two friends in the room. Hatori sighed once again, and palmed his face, he was really tired. “Tori…I don’t understand you.” Confessed Ayame. Hatori looked back to his friend. He understood why Ayame was outraged by his reaction. It was out of character. Hatori was in the uncomfortable position of the person who knew everything and decided to not tell a thing.

Hatori stared at Ayame. Should he tell his secret to somebody else? Was Ayame a good choice? He couldn’t tell to Shigure, he was going to do something stupid, he couldn’t tell to Akito, she was too chaotic and he wouldn’t know how she would react. Kureno would probably try to stop them because if Ren were to know she will hurt Akito beyond repair and won’t even let him, Kureno or Yuki going near of her ever again. Hatori saw how Akito became happier since she met Shigure, and Shigure was leaving the illusion of the goddess he rocked himself in during years for a real person made of blood and bones. It was what Shigure needed for years. He couldn’t tell Yuki because the boy did not even know Akito’s gender.

So…Should he tell Ayame about this secret that was heavy on his shoulders for now more than six months. “Ayame…I will tell you something, but you are to kept it for yourself only.” Started Hatori gravely. Ayame blinked. Hatori was trusting him about something. “Not even Shigure?”

“Especially Shigure.” Answered Hatori, confusing Ayame even more. Hiding something from Shigure, why, weren’t they all friends. He reluctantly nodded. “I’m serious Ayame, what I’m going to tell you is important and it can’t leave this room. Am I clear?”

“Yeah, what it’s about?” he said, nodding once again, more convinced. “Ayame… How did you feel with her around you? Didn’t you hear a voice…A hissing?” asked Hatori. Ayame frowned and put his finger on his lips. “Well…” he didn’t know how to explain it.

“You wanted to make her happy, proud of you right?” said Hatori, as reading in his mind. “As if…You meet an old friend?” his eyes widened. Yes, that exactly how he felt. How did he know. “Tori…You sound like you already met her.” Laughed Ayame, trying to ease the tensing mood, he was starting to realize something really thrilling and he feared it. “Ayame…” called Hatori.

He gulped. “She said her name is written with Autumn and door.” He tried to rationalize, because it couldn’t be possible, it was too huge. “She did?” Hatori sneered. “That was bold of her, and Shigure believe that?” Slowly his expression became sour. “Tori…You’re not telling me that she is…Our goddess?”

When Hatori nodded, Ayame stood up of his chair, as if it was in fire. He walked to the window and put his hand on his mouth, he couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be possible. She should be locked in her house and never come out, yet…

Yet she came in his store and she wore clothes he has dreamed of, she drank the tea he prepared, he saw her smile, he talked to her. Ayame was thrilled, shivering. He could hear the serpent hiss in joy. _‘We made our dear friend happy, she smiled, did you see her smile? She was happy, we made her happy!’_ The spirit was hissing in joy, and Ayame couldn’t help but agree, the heart heavy. So, this was why he cared so much about her. Ayame did not recognize her, the last time he saw her before, she was just a two months old baby. But the snake couldn’t forget who was his god.

“Oh my…” it was strange, he never felt that way before. Only Mine was always to put him in that state with her smile and her eyes telling him eternal _‘I love you’_. That dream he made a million years ago, before the beginning of the story was the other exception. Ayame felt dizzy and the snake’s hissing voice won’t stop. Hatori put a hand on his shoulder. They looked at each other and he suddenly feel the need to sit down.

“You know Tori, since I was little, I always dreamed that one day she would wear of my clothes…” he said once back on his chair, the voice full of emotion. “Yeah, I know.” Answered Hatori with a smile of comprehension. He remembered he, Ayame and Shigure in his room and Ayame making draft of princess dresses. He remembered twelve years old Ayame sewing on red tissue with a silver thread, his eyes full of stars telling he was going to offer his creation for the little girl, only to have Ren tearing it off, piece by piece.

Youngs, Hatori dreamed to be a doctor for her, Ayame wanted to make her clothes and Shigure desire to be her knight. They all succeeded, in the oddest way.

“Tori, I should have showed her better clothes! No that she wasn’t cute in the one she bought, Mine have the best taste!” he said suddenly “But she needs better! Oh, I have to tell Gure”

“No, Shigure mustn’t know about it Ayame.” Said Hatori, confusing his friend. “Why not, Shigure always dreamed to be with Akito and…he is!” he explained, agitating vividly his hands. Hatori sighed, did Ayame thought he already didn’t think about it? “If Shigure know, he will do something stupid. He and Akito will be hurt.”

Then Ayame remembered about the marks Mine found and he was horrified. “But…We have to do something!” Hatori felt a headache. “I’m trying Ayame! That’s what I’ve been doing for all those years.” Said Hatori, irritated. He regretted when Ayame was looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry Ayame…I did not mean to take it out on you, it’s just…” Hatori sat back on his chair dispirited. “She is so fragile and Ren is hurting her a every occasion she got. We can’t know what she would do if she learnt about their relationship…”

Ayame felt his guts twisting horribly, imagining the worst-case scenario. Ayame did not forget the bandages wrapped around nine years old Shigure head for daring to talk back to Ren. “What can we do Tori?”

Hatori frowned. “I don’t have a damn clue Ayame…”

* * *

Shigure didn’t expect Ren to allow him to see Akito when he made the demand to her maid, yet here he was, walking in the hallway of his goddess house. How ironic that he was able to talk to her only to bid her his farewell. He will hurt her, he knows it. But she needed to know that as long as she stays in the cave, people will leave her. He might be the first, but he won’t be the last, not if things are going to continue that way. The younger cursed had already find somebody else to follow in the person of Tohru. Tohru was here and present, she would listen them and accept them.

He sighed, closing his eyes. The dog inside him was already barking furiously at him. It was alright, the dog could bark as much as it wanted, Shigure never cared.

_‘What shall I do so you would choose me?’_

Shigure had a small smile and looked at the setting sun. It had taken months but he made his choice, the dog was tired of chasing after an unattainable sun and wanted to take a rest at home where he would be on his lover’s laps. “I’m sorry Akito.” He whispered. A maid came to him and send him a terrible glare, he chuckled nervously. “Young master Akito is ready to see you, follow me.” She said in an icy tone, looking at him with disdain. “Ah, thank you very much~” he answered joyfully and walked to the fusuma doors.

He stood a moment in front of it. Was it really the good choice? Won’t he regret it later? After all, he was cursed, his condition was a social handicap. Akito could leave him the moment he transforms into a dog. In this case, he won’t hug her…But Shigure wasn’t gullible, he knows their relation won’t last if he doesn’t tell her. But it was better than waiting for a girl that ignored everything about his existence. For this Akito, he was just the cursed of the dog, it probably had no meaning.

Months ago, this mere truth has hurt him so much that he always trying to hide it in the deepest part of his mind, so he wouldn’t think about it. Now, it was just bitter, regretful. Today he will move on. He took a deep breath and slid open the doors.

He had a dry laugh by seeing the paravent. Until the end, there will always be a wall between the dog and his god. Shigure could see her shadow through the screen, Kureno’s was just beside her. There were also Ren’s favorite maid standing up next of the paravent and another one beside her. Of course that they would be watched on. What did he expect? At least, Ren was not here.

He walked to the center of the room and kneeled in a bow. He retained a shiver, feeling goose-bumps all over his body. How was he going to tell her he was leaving, here, just in front of Ren’s maids. She will be heart-broken and humiliated, but he was doing what the others never done before him.

“Let your humble servant greet you.” He said in a voice himself didn’t recognize. He was shaking. God, he would kill for a cig right now. “You are welcome here.” Said a low unnatural voice, he almost wanted to tell her she did not need to try to change her voice for him. He already knew she wasn’t a male; but the maids were watching. “Tell me, what happened for you to request my presence?”

Shigure wanted to laugh, he had requested her presence for his whole life, since that dream he made a long millions years ago. It was now too late, everything changed before he noticed it. He inhaled, gathering his courage_. ‘I’m sorry my God but I leave cause I fallen in love with a mere human.’_

He cleared his throat. “I have something to discuss with you.” He said, facing the shadow on the screen. “I listen you.” Answered the almighty silhouette.

“I’m leaving you.”

It was like the words resonated. The maids eyes widened slowly and Shigure felt something in him scream.

“…Impossible…” he heard. “You can’t…It’s…” said a broken voice behind the screen, he was sure she was crying. “You can’t abandon me!!” she suddenly shouted. “You love me, don’t you?!” She suddenly stood up and Kureno had to hold her, taking her by the shoulders. Shigure head bowed unconsciously, closing his eyes. He wished to put his hands on his ears so he wouldn’t hear her cry anymore. “Answer me!!” Her shouting voice was now more feminine and if Shigure wasn’t devasted right now by their separation and deaf by the dog's incessant barks, he would have recognized that screaming voice. But his head, his mind and his heart were bleeding raw emotions, he was a mess. He wanted to run to her and apologize, but Akito smiling face flashed in his mind.

_‘Shigure, she saw bruises on her back and red marks around her chest.’_

Akito was a person he has taken time to get to know and to fall in love with, she wasn’t a shadow behind a screen. Shigure was able to talk to her, to touch her, maybe even to kiss her. And right now, she needed help. Shigure knew she was distressed by something and today he learnt she was abused physically. This Akito here had Kureno and Yuki, and twelve others cursed at her service, ready to loves her. She did not need him…She never did.

Ah, even if he was saying he was leaving her, it was still hurting his heart. Was it the curse or was it his feelings talking? Everything was a mess.

“I’ve loved you for twenty years…But I can’t do it anymore, I found somebody else.” He said slowly. “I can’t continue to love somebody I can’t see.” He added, his eyes in the emptiness. He felt like his whole life he spent trying to reach the person in front of him have been useless. Shigure felt aimless.

“N-no…” she cried. “Don’t leave me!” she begged. “Please…my dog…” she broke.

“Yeah…That’s all I am for you, a dog.” He said playfully yet, more bitterly than he thought he would. “I’m tired, I’m leaving.” He said, starting to stood up. She stopped trying to retains him and she was kneeling down, her body spamming by rough tears. Shigure watched the poor girl crying and he turned his back. He felt the air in his lungs leaving him and his legs were like wax. He walked out of the room and headed out of the mansion. He did not turn back when he heard running footstep.

“Shigure-nii!” he heard Kureno calling him and he closed his eyes, as if it could make the man disappear. It did not. Kureno grasped Shigure by the shoulder, forcing him to turn around “Shigure-nii you can’t do this!” the dog inspected the rooster face; he had the impression to face a stranger. When was the last time he ever talked to him? “You can’t leave her!” Kureno said in anguish. “She needs you!”

“She needs her dog, not me.” Talked back Shigure, rolling his eyes. “Kureno, you really believe it was going to stay that way forever? That we would all wait patiently until the day Ren die?” he asked, taking a decisive step toward Kureno. The man stepped back. “All of us will move on and left that bond behind us.” Continued Shigure.

“Shigure-nii...please, she is fragile, she needs us all, in complete.” Said Kureno, looking down. “Why-Why are you leaving her. What’s your reason?!” he asked, fisting his hands and Shigure scratched his cheek. Why would he tell to Kureno, he did not really like the man to begin with. Not since the day he deflowered the god he loved. “Like I said, I have to move on, I’m sure she will understand.” He sighed. “She is crying right now but she’ll understand.” He turned back and walked away, to his own home. “No…She won’t…She can’t” muttered the rooster, alone in the hallway.

Shigure walked until he was back in his kitchen. He searched for beers in his fridge. He groaned. What he had at home wasn’t enough, he needed more. He needed to change his mind and to stop the unstoppable bark that was aching his head. He took his wallet and walked out of the estate. He did not even take time to change like he was using to do when he was going out. After all he was just going to buy beers at the nearest combini and shit his face out until he won’t think about the goddess being in despair and Akito being hurt anymore. He didn’t want to think about anything before tomorrow morning. Now, he wanted to smoke and drink and that’s all.

He put the pack of beers on the combini’s counter and asked for a box of cig, handing cash to the seller. He was tight with money lately but tonight he did not care about anything. He allowed himself to smoke on the way back. Before stepping under the gates of the Sohma’s estate, he turned his head to a stray dog. They fixed each other a moment, and Shigure was sure the dog was judging him.

Well, it did not matter anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !! Thank you for reading this chapter <3 I hope you liked it!  
Quick announcement. This week, I will update the chapter sunday at 8:00 pm (french hour). I have an important exam that I need to work. I hope you all understand :) thank you for your patience <3


	20. Chapter 19

_She was reading the chronicles of the Heike war that her mother told her to learn by heart when something in the corner of her eyes caught her attention. She turned her head to the garden. Since spring was back, the maids decided to open all the shoji doors giving on the garden, to air the house they said. Akito was glad, outside was pretty. Slowly she looked if there were people wandering close to the room and without a sound, she stepped out in the garden. She saw paper planes coming from the other side of the huge wall, flying to her. She tried to jump to catch one with her bare hand. But from the top of her six years old, she couldn't jump high enough and the planes ended in the grass. Akito crouched and took the paper planes one by one. By the time they were all gathered together in her arms, the planes rain stopped and she wondered where it came from. Then, without warning, a flower crown fell on the top of her head. It surprised her so much that she let the paper planes fall to take the crown in hand. It was full of blue and pink flowers and it was so pretty that Akito giggled in joy. She took the planes again and waited to see if something else was going to jump out from the other side of the wall, but nothing came and Akito walked back in her room to inspect the five planes. She noticed that all of them were marked with numbers. _

_She took the first one and studied it to the light. She saw that the interior was written on and slowly undo the folding. What wasn’t her surprise when she discovered that it was a story. With a big smile she started to read. It was much more enjoyable than that stupid book that her mother forced her to read. _“Let’s go eat parfait together”_ she read aloud, trying to spell out words and kanji she did not understand due to her young age. _

_When Ren came later, Akito had hidden the papers. She was scared that her mother discovered that she hasn't read the book she asked her to do. When her mother was shouting, it scared Akito very much, sometime she would even be pulling her hair and slap her face. If Akito dared to cry, mother would be even more angry, but it was hard to not to, she hurt her very much. _

“Akito, didn’t I told you to read the book I gave you?”_ said Ren, her arms crossed. Akito jolted. _“I-I did…” _she said in a small voice, bowing her head. How did mother know that she lied? _

“Don’t lie to me!”_ Shouted Ren and Akito bowed even more_. “If you really did read it, then what is that!”_ Ren said, reaching to her hair and Akito was sure she was about to pull them. However, instead, in her mother's hand was the pink and blue flowers crown. Akito gasped in horror. “Where did you even learn to do that! It’s a girl game and you are a boy! You heard me!” she shouted even more that Akito had to put her hands on her ears. _“I’m sorry…”_ she said in a broken voice, trying to not cry._

_Ren tore the flowers and put them in the trash. Akito was heartbroken. _“I can’t believe it.”_ She said, massing her temple and she called a maid. It was the old maid that Akito liked, sometime she would stroke her back and tell her how bad her mother was. _“Since my son haven’t done what I asked him to do, don’t give him any meal tonight, he need to listen what his mother tell him to do!”_ she said and the maid bowed respectfully. Akito fled in her room and cried. It was unfair, she really liked the flowers, why did mom hurt her like that. Shouldn’t mothers be gentle and kind with their children. _

_Akito heard a knocking on the and a second after, the maid slid a bit the door enough to let her head pass between the shoji_. “Master Akito, can I come in?”_ she asked gently. Akito just hummed. The maid stepped in and sat next to the futon. She put a box next to Akito bed. _“Next time, hide it there.”_ She said and she left. Akito rose her head up when she heard the shoji doors closing. Slowly she reached for the box and opened it. It was empty but Akito knew she could fill inside all the secrets she wanted to keep from Ren. She rushed to the place where she hid the story and put the pages in that box. _

_Holding the precious package in her arms, Akito wondered where she could hide the box away from her mother when her eyes caught her closet. Akito feared that closet because it was dark and dry. However, that night, she felt like this darkness could be her most precious ally. She slowly walked and reluctantly opened the door. She gulped and kneeled in it. She was scared that the shadow would eat her but she wanted to protect the little story that had enlightened her day. Shivering she put the box in the deepest part of the closet and then she quickly jumped out of it and slid it close. She was out of breath and her heart was beating fast but she did it. She wondered if one day, she will be able to be courageous enough like tonight to face her mean mother. _

_It was a week after and many pages of war chronicles read that she witnessed another paper planes rain. This time she directly ran under it and caught some in flight. She was giggling and wondered what kind of story she will read. Each paper planes were followed by multicolored wreaths. Akito was smiling so much that her cheeks hurt. Once Akito’s rain of joy stopped she rushed to her room and opened her closet. It looked less scary in the daylight. She undid the folds and read the story, sparkles in eyes. This time, it was talking about princess and knight and wonderful dresses. Akito knew she was a male, but the way she imagined the clothes made her want to wear one. Once she finished reading the story, she quickly put the pages and the wreaths in the box and slid it back in the closet. “Thank you…” she muttered. That night, Ren did not shout at her and she had a meal. _

_Three happy rains happened three time that day. Each time Akito would stop everything she was doing and rushed to her garden, jumping in happiness. She loved every stories of the paper planes. Her favorite was about lovers unable to see each other and they had to communicate through knocking a wall. She searched in a dictionary later and she discovered it was called Morse language._

_It all stopped the day she had in hands the story talking about three children going in a forest. There were a lot of planes that day but she never had the last pages. Before she could, she heard a maid screaming at the other side of the wall. _“That damn mutt! I can’t believe it!!”

“What’s happening?!”

“It’s that stupid cursed of the dog he is trying to climb the wall!”

“Catch him! Quick!!”

_The planes rain stopped and Akito heard even more screams, and a boy shouting in pain, the cursed of dog, **her** cursed. “Don’t touch me old hag!” a slap and Akito gasped in horror. She did not want her precious zodiac to be hurt. They were the voices comforting her when she was crying, their spirits were the ones wiping her tears off when nobody else did. She wanted to scream to stop it but her voice was struck in her throat and before she could articulate anything the screams had disappeared. All Akito could do was weeping while she held tight against her small body the papers and the flowers. _

Akito woke up in tears and she cried even more when she realized all the dream was just a memory of the past and that her dog that used to make her so happy under those happy rains had now left her. It hurt so much, because she still felt the bond with him but he did not care about her. Now, all was over. She crawled out of her futon and walked on four-legs to her closet. Here, she opened a door and sorted out her precious box and dug in before pulling out the pages his dog had written. She bawled at the sight and in anger she started to put to pages together and started to pull until the pages started to tear, then she suddenly stopped by seeing the little damage she has done. She remembered Ren doing the same thing and her body refused to do same. She threw the pages on the floor and shouted angrily.

Kureno came a few moments later, worry written all over his face and he took her in his arms to cradle her. It was useless, everything was useless. Akito was meaningless. If the zodiacs were leaving even with the bond, for what was she living for. Who would love her for who she was? Shigure flashed in her mind but then she remembered that he too, was thinking about somebody else. She started to shiver, she was going to end alone, all alone. Everybody will leave her; the dog, the zodiacs, Yuki, Kureno…Shigure.

They will all leave her one day and she couldn’t bear it.

* * *

“You sure you want to go today?” asked Kureno in a concerned voice. Akito did not eat and she had red marks all around her eyes from irritation. She was shivering and Kureno felt like she could weep at any moments now. “yeah, please.” She said, looking emptily at her fingers. Kureno frowned then, started the engine.

Akito looked melancholily through the window. Today it was raining. It was different from that happy rain and remembering it only left her in a state of emptiness. She needed to see Shigure quick so this feeling could disappear during the small moment she will share by his side. Kureno stopped the car near of the usual parc. Before she could go, he wrapped his hand around her arm. “Akito wait, take my umbrella” he said, taking it from the backside of the car.

As she took it, Kureno framed her face with his hands. “Akito…Maybe he will come back, you know he always have been his own person. He is hard to read…” he tried to reassure. She emotionlessly pulled off his hands and opened the door. “No…You’re wrong, he won’t.” she muttered before leaving.

She took a few steps before opening Kureno’s umbrella. It was raining cats and dogs and Akito was sure she would end up sick if she waited Shigure outside. She took her phone and send him a quick text about waiting him in their usual café, the same where Shigure had bought her a coffee the day they met. She held the umbrella tighter when she thought about parfait, it reminded her so much of the story her dog had written for her. It was because of it that she had absolutely wanted to taste it. She was sure if she were to eat one once more, its sweet taste would become sour on Akito’s tongue.

She entered in the store and placed herself near of a window. Here Shigure could see her from far and she would see him coming. A waiter came and she asked for the first drink she saw on the card, it did not matter, she wasn’t going to drink it anyway.

She looked at her phone to see the time and sighed. She hoped he would arrive soon; she was starting to feel dizzy. She was here all alone waiting for him while all the people around were living their life. Akito could not reach them, she felt like the screen that always separated her from the world was still here, even if transparent. She realized that in one year, nothing had changed and it made her want to throw up the anguish growing in the pit of her stomach.

She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and bowed her head to weep silently. Everything was falling apart. He was right, the others cursed will follow him, why would they continue to wait for her. This thought hurt her, they were so important to her and she was nothing for them. She had to put her hand on her mouth to retain a sob. It was so hard; it was worse than when Kureno’s curse broke. Ren was right, nobody cared about her, she was useless, she was ugly. She was a shame for the humankind.

“Akito?” called Shigure’s voice. Akito slowly lifted her drenched face, her hands fisted against her mouth. “Oh dear…What happened?” He said gently, wiping her tears off with his thumbs. “I…I…” She tried to talk but her voice was broken and her throat was hurting her. Shigure slowly sat at the other side of the table, fixing her with concern. The care in him eyes provoked her to sob brutally and she bend her head, trying to repress the noise.

“Akito…” called Shigure one more, trying to reassure her. He stretched his arm to the other side of the table and rubbed her forearm. This gentleness made her weep. Why was he so kind with her when he was thinking about somebody else? Why was he always giving her false-hope? Why did she loved him too much to the point it hurt her?

He was going to leave her too, he already done it once, what would retain him to do it again. Nothing was certain, not phones nor ancient bonds. No, nothing.

She was scared to go without him again, she was scared that all this love she wanted to give was going to waste, like it was with her zodiacs. “Shi-Shigure!” she bawled, sobbing even more. “I’m here Akito, I’m here.” He said, framing her head. “Calm down, tell me what happened? Are you hurt somewhere?” he asked in a tone she never heard him use. It was full of worry, but also care and gentleness. He also pulled her arm and examined it, as if he would find a mark. She felt loved and she hated him for that. _Stop treating me like this when you won’t give me more…_

“I-” she tried to breathe between her sobs. Her nose was ruining and her eyes hurt. “No, it’s not that…” she said, trying to catch her breath. Shigure looked at her with a gentle smile and rubbed his thumbs under her red eyes. She sniffed and wrapped her fingers around his wrists to kept them here. She hated how much she needed his touch. She was sure for him she was just another girl. “Akito…Tell me” he said and Akito noticed only at this moment that he had bags under his eyes.

She stared at him until she stopped sobbing. “Alright?” he said softly and she quickly nodded. “Akito, what happened? Won’t you tell me?” He repeated and she looked aside, refusing to face him. “It’s-” she did not know how to explain. She couldn’t tell him that she was more or less the reincarnation of a god and that she was emotionally bonded with twelves others people and that she lost one of them two days ago. Shigure won’t understand and he will take her for crazy. She will definitely loss the few things they have.

“I…Lost somebody I was really close to. I’m never going to see them again.” She said it and she had to fight to not sob again. It hurt so much. “He left me, he said he don’t wanna see me anymore and I…” tears started to fall again and she hid her face behind her hands. “Hey Akito…It’s alright, I’m here for you so stop cryi-”

“Don’t play the nice guy to me!” She suddenly interrupted, looking at him with fury in the eyes. “You’re not different, one day, you too you will leave me! You already done it once!” she spat ignoring that her voice was becoming louder and that people turned around to look at them. “Akito, I won’t leave you, don’t say that.” He said patiently, sighing and closing his eyes. The way he massed his temple irritated her even more.

“Give me one reason to believe that you won’t leave me Shigure!” She said, shivering in emotion, she was angry, betrayed and hurt. By Shigure always giving her false-hope and by the zodiacs that were slowly turning their back on her one by one.

“Well…Is because I love you a sufficient reason for you?” he answered dropping his hand to look at her with an honest expression. Akito heart missed a beat and she stood here, looking stupid with her open mouth. “Wha-what?” she said breathlessly, not sure of what she just heard. Shigure chuckled and smile, his eyes shining like sunshine “I love you Akito.” He said, and put a hand on her cheek.

“You…You’re just telling me that so I won’t cry.” She said because it was impossible that he did. There must be a reason of why everybody was leaving her. If she was lovable, it wouldn’t happen. “What, are you saying that’s I’m lying, that’s not nice Akito.” He answered, his usual smirk back on his face. “Want me to prove you?” He asked and Akito breath hitched by the way he was looking at her. Not trusting her voice to answer, she nodded instead.

Shigure leant to her on the table and framed her face and it was like time stopped. Shigure caressed her lower lip with his thumb before approaching his face closer to hers. Their noses touched and before Akito realized it, he was kissing her. She never imagined that her first kiss with him would taste like salt and smoke but, there it was. Him taking her lower lip between his, the touch of his warm hand stroking her cheek. It wasn’t like in books or movies, where everything was pink and overly sweet.

Yet, Shigure was kissing her, Shigure said that he loves her.

She kissed him back, holding his face still against hers. She heard him chuckle against her but she didn’t care, she kept kissing him again and again until she was sure he will stay here by her side. She slid her hand to his hair and passed her fingers through it. So soft, so pettable. Even when they separated, they kept their foreheads stuck against each other and they were rubbing their noses. It was tender, soft. It felt natural, even if her face was a waste and he was smelling like a firefighter “You smoked again huh…” she said softly after catching her breath. She was scratching his scalp affectionately and he was leaning unto her hand, humming in delight. “Well…The past few days have been a disaster for me.” He explained and looked directly at her. He took her other hand that was resting on his shirt and lifted it to kiss the back of it.

“Hm…Madam…” called softly the embarrassed waiter with Akito’s cup of tea on a tray, definitely not wanting to interrupt them, but still forced to give her order. Shigure and she turned their head to him, not breaking their closeness. Akito threw him a deathly glare while Shigure laughed. “Ah~ my bad, just put it here” he said, as if he was the one who ordered it and came back to Akito. “So, what were we doing? Ah, right, kissing” he said playfully and took Akito by the chin to smack her lips. She grunted but let him do it. She felt like she could end addicted to this tabaco taste and the odors of ink on him. She wanted to put her hands in his hair again, the touch was so soft.

Shigure chuckled and caressed her hair in turn, a beam on his lips. Akito frowned, everything was going so well out of nowhere, there must be a trick. She pulled his hands off. “What about that other girl?” she asked, her lips twisting downward. Shigure smile melted into a sour expression. “I’ve made my choice.”

Akito eyes widened in surprise. Really? He chosen her. She bit her lips and looked down, trying to not squirm in joy. Ah, fuck, she was starting to get tired to feel so many different emotions in a such few times. She was an emotional wreck right now. A part of her was devasted by the dog who deserted her, she knew she will never forget him. But the other part wanted to jump around and scream in joy because her wish came true and Shigure has chosen her, he wanted to be with her instead of that other girl.

Shigure watched her and palmed her cheek. “Listen, even when you won’t need me anymore, I won’t leave you.” He said “We’ll stay together forever, alright?” she tightened her hold on his hands and nodded. At least, somebody will always be by her side. She leant once more to kiss him again, sticking two smiles together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to upload it later than what I promised ;w; the exam have been really tiring for me, but now I'm free. Let's say this chapter was an apologizing gift :^) I think a lot of you has liked it? Shigure and Akito are finally going out !! But, it's not over yet haha, as you might noticed, it's only the half of the story!!   
I really hope you all liked it haha.


	21. Chapter 20

Yuki followed his mother in the gathering room. It was his first time here and it was full of people he didn’t know and they made him uncomfortable. Earlier, an old woman came and bowed in front of him, praising his quality as the rat. “You know, it’s rare for the rat to be born at the same time of the god, you should be for happy! Your bond is special! You must be so proud!” Yuki just nodded out of politeness but he didn’t try to continue the discussion nor he tried to engage one with another person in the crowd. His mother was showing him as if he was some sort of trophy and he felt nothing but indifference toward the person who was meant to be his mother. She tried to sold him to Ren but when the woman refused, she abandoned him for the reason that she already had another child in the zodiac and that he refused to raise him without any allowance. If it wasn’t for Kazuma, Yuki probably would have lived alone like Rin.

When he noticed Hatori entering in the room, he did not hesitate to walk to him. His cousin sends him a graceful look when he took him away from people gathering around him. “I don’t know how to feel about them, they treat us like an icon, but they never tried to help us when we were children.” Said Yuki in a low voice so only Hatori could hear. “They only care about themselves, they are not different from Ren, they don’t see us as human, nobody in this family does.” Just answered the dragon with a plain voice. He really wanted to go out of the room as soon as possible. They were too many people and they were all watching he and Yuki like circus freaks.

“Yuki! Come to your seat” Called her mother with an annoyed tone, barely looking at him. Yuki rolled his eyes, thinking that they didn’t see each other since the day he entered in high school. It was more than one year ago. Yuki took a deep breath and bow his head to Hatori before taking his place. The dragon held him back by the arm “Let’s talk after the reunion, I have something to ask you.” Yuki blinked but nodded and rejoined his mother. He sat on the _zabuton_ and waited until Akito’s arrive.

Honestly, he just wanted to go home, he still had homework to do and he promised to help Tohru with the mathematics. Being here was a pain and it made him uneasy. At least he will see Akito from far. Since the new year banquet, they only saw each other three times, but they texted intensely. Akito was always asking him to take photos from the outside. Lately, Yuki had been surprised that the man asked him question about girls. It had left Yuki stupid because he never really thought about girls, after all, he was banished to have any relationship with somebody from the exterior, especially somebody from the opposite sex, it was too dangerous. Lately he started to change his mind, he knew it was thanks to Tohru. He wished that he could present her to Akito, they could become friend and Akito needed some. He was so lonely and this loneliness was worrying Yuki.

The room went suddenly silent when Ren entered. She was dressed in a dark _tomesode_ and her hair was into a beautiful bun with golden _kanzashi _phoenix shaped pin. She was alluring but Yuki trembled in fear that he needed to look down. This woman was scaring him beyond word. Even though, she never done something to him to cause him this fear. Yet, Yuki saw what she had done to his god behind ajar shoji doors. He was always at Akito’s when he was a child. Preferring to spent his time with his god-friend than with the unlikable cat. The fact that he always felt like the others zodiacs hated him did not arrange the matter. After all, he was the mouse who tricked the ox and the others animals to arrive first and be with the god.

He remembered Akito sometime shouting at him, but it was nothing compared to the scream and the breaking furniture he heard from the neighboring room where Akito was alone with Ren. He had the memory of a day where he spilled by accident his tea on Akito’s book. Akito did not care about the book honestly, actually he hated it because he was forced to read it, Yuki knew it because Akito had told him this. However, it sounded that it used to be to his father’s, the late Akira. Akito gasped in fear and Yuki have been sure he saw him trembling. When they heard footstep in the hallway, Akito had ordered brutally to go in his room. _“Don’t dare to come out until I told you!”_ he had roared in a childish voice, pointing the shoji doors. Yuki had executed, in fear to anger even more Akito. However, when he had entered in the neighbor room, he did not close the shoji doors completely and his legs stopped when he heard the most monstrous shout he had heard in his whole life.

He wondered what was happening when he heard Akito scream of pain. Without understanding why, he had started to pour big tears all along his cheeks. He had conflicted feelings, he wanted to jump out of the room and hold Akito tight and he wanted to run far away. It had been too much for his little body which stood here instead, crying as if he was the one receiving all the pain that Akito had been under through at the moment. Yuki had jolted when he heard a loud ‘bang’ against the wooden table. There was a dreadful silence until a maid came and screamed at Ren _“Madam! You’re strangling him! Stop!” and_ Yuki had to keep his hand on his mouth to not let out a sob. He was so scared and he stood here until he heard the sound of feet dragging on the floor then a coughing and a sobbing noise. He stood in the front of the shoji doors until Akito walked to him, his hand massing his neck and his eyes as red as his. _“You can come out”_ he had said before sitting back on his _zabuton_. Yuki followed Akito without a word and wiped his tears off. He only understood what happened that day years after, when he had matured enough.

A maid announced Akito’s arrival and pulled Yuki off his thoughts; a few seconds after, the chief of the Sohma’s clan was in the room, followed by Kureno. The room was silent but Yuki could feel that the people in the gathering room were dying to talk about the reveal of the chief. He knew what was the purpose of him and Hatori presence here. The people needed to ask them if this person standing in front of them was really Akito, but after seeing the spitting image of Ren Sohma, there were no doubts remaining.

Akito sat in _seiza_ on the wooden platform, Kureno sat next to him, on the tatami. Yuki could see the head of family inspecting the crowd and he could imagine how anxious he was feeling. Never before Akito have been the center of the attention of so many people at the same time and Ren’s eyes were studying each one of his movement. However, he stood here with regality and started to introduce himself, choosing his words carefully. Yuki noticed Kureno nod subtlety at the end of each sentences Akito was telling. They had practiced a lot for today, Akito told him.

The doyen presented himself in turn and bowed in front of his new chief. “It’s a pleasure to meet my new master, we are sure that your reign will be as profitable as your father’s. This is with great emotion that we give you back the Sohma’s stamp, my chief and god.” He said in a practiced _keigo_. Bowing his head to the floor and handing a lacquered box containing the family’s stamp. Akito took it between his hands and the rest of the crowd bowed, following the doyen example. Yuki followed in mimesis. He hoped being able to go back home after the handover of the family stamp, but the gathering continued for two hours after. Mainly people request and explanations from the crowd. He saw Akito becoming paler with the time and his patience running low. If Yuki were honest, by knowing the man, he was amazed that he hadn’t cracked yet. It was probably Ren’s eyes focused on him that prevented him to misact. The reunion stopped when Kureno interrupted an elite woman asking for income, explaining that because of Akito's health, it was better to end the reunion. Yuki saw Akito closing his eyes in relief. They bowed once more and the two of them took their leaves. It was only when the voices of people hubbubs echoed in the room that Yuki allowed himself to quit his _seiza_, his bones cracking.

Others people, Ren included, started to walk out of the room and Yuki heard two old men talking about Akito and Ren resemblance. “No doubt it’s madam Ren’s son…But I don’t see any trace of Akira on him.”

“That’s right, disturbing isn’t it? What a shame, Akira was so beautiful…” Yuki sighed and stood up, ready to walk out when Hatori took him by his shoulder. He pointed the hallway by his chin, inviting Yuki to follow him here. They exited the room and walked room in the corridor. After walking for a complete minute, Yuki wondered why Hatori was so adamant to be away when they were already alone here. Was he taking him to his house? Yuki sighed mentally thinking about his homework and books laying on his bedroom floor. He also wanted to water his kitchen garden today, look like he could forget about it.

Hatori stopped when he spotted Kureno walking out of a room, clothes that Yuki recognized being Akito’s in hands. “Ah…Hatori-nii, Yuki.” He smiled softly. “Sorry that I didn’t greet you earlier.” Hatori nodded. “It’s alright, but there is something I’d like to talk with you and Yuki.” Kureno looked at his younger cousin. From this moment, they both understood that the discussion will be about Akito.

“Right…Let’s go there.” Pointed Kureno, showing an empty room. The three men entered and Hatori slid the shoji doors close behind him. They stood in silence for like an eternity before the doctor finally dropped the bomb. “I think you two already know that I want to talk about Akito.” They nodded. “You two are…Very close of Akito.” He said. “The closer” boldly said Yuki. After all, he and Akito grew up together since nobody else could see him when they were children, as for Kureno, he was living with him. Hatori looked aside. “Sure.” He cleared his throat and looked directly into Kureno’s eyes.

“Why neither you or Akito had told me about the bruise on his back?” he asked and Kureno paled and Yuki’s eyes widened, remembering the screams he heard behind the ajar doors. “Hatori-nii…It’s…It happened a month ago already and I…” Kureno looked down. Hatori crossed his arms and looked at Yuki “You too, you know right?”. The boy nodded and Hatori massaged his temple.

“How it happened?” he continued.

“It was after the assembly requested Akito and took away the family’s stamp from Ren.” Explained Kureno. “She was mad and she took it out on Akito.” Hatori sighed. “That kind of accident stopped happening when you started to live with him, Kureno.” Said Yuki.

“Though, lately he had been really depressed, is that because of Ren?” Asked Hatori, remembering the last time he talked with Akito. Kureno shook his head. “No…It’s because of Shigure-nii.” Hatori and Yuki blinked before they frowned. “Shigure? How come?” asked Hatori in a deep scowl.

“He…Two weeks ago he had come to Akito and told him he had enough of waiting and preferred to leave.” Hatori blinked again, mouth agape. “He what?!” 

“As I said, and Akito is taking it badly…Though it improved a bit, but he is very sensitive when it come to the curse.” Said Kureno. “He is scared to be alone, and the bond linking us with him is the only thing reassuring him that he isn’t.” Yuki crossed his arms. “But if Shigure is leaving even if he has the bond, Akito will assume that the others zodiacs will follow.” Yuki felt angry at Shigure for hurting Akito that way. “Why have he done it?”

“He said he needs to move on…” Answered Kureno. Yuki heard Hatori sigh deeply. “Move on? From what?” asked Yuki, getting more and more irritated. Kureno shook his head quietly and Hatori palmed his face. “I will talk to him.” He said but Yuki disagreed. “No, I will…” he said, wanting to do something for Akito. He owed him that.

“Yuki, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Said Hatori.

“I want to talk to him Hatori” said Yuki. Since Tohru started to live with him and Kyo, Yuki felt he started to change for the best, he hoped this change will help Akito and all the people he held dear. He knew he started to open and understand the world better. “Alright, do as you want Yuki…” he said.

“Kureno, what are you going to do?” Hatori asked next, taking him by surprise. He smiled bitterly. “I’ll just stay by his side to protect him as much as I can.” He sighed. “They made a big deal of Akito having the family’s stamp now, as if it was giving him all the powers of the clan…” Yuki closed his eyes. “Ren won’t let him. All of today’s reunion was just for the show.” They all hummed in agreement before calling it a day.

“Next time he is injured, tell me Kureno, even if Akito is against it.” The rooster nodded and left the room and Yuki walked to Shigure’s with determination. He traversed the whole estate and arrived at the writer house and knocked. His cousin opened, a cig in the mouth and a bewildered expression. “Ah? Yuki-kun, what a surprise! What are you going here?” he asked surprise in the voice. “Here, comes in. Make yourself home.” He showed his living room with a gesture of the hand while he walked to the kitchen, preparing tea for his guest. Yuki wordlessly sat at the table.

“It has been a while, how it is at home? I hope you’re not mistreating Tohru-kun.” Laughed carefreely Shigure, handing him a cup of tea. “Don’t worry about miss Honda. She is between good hands. I would be more worried if she was living with you, Shigure.”

“Oh, so mean Yuki, do you think I’m some kind of monster?” he gasped, insulted. Yuki ignored his act. “I’m not here to talk about miss Honda, but Akito.” Shigure lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “Akito? Well, I didn’t think he would come into conservation.” He chuckled.

“Why did you say him that? Akito is scared of being alone. If you wanted to move on, you could have kept that for you, it’s not like it would have changed anything!” Yuki said, frowning. “You just have been plainly mean to him! The zodiacs are everything he have!” Shigure scratched his cheek. “Well, I did not want our chief to be surprised when he will notice the dog lack of presence at the new year banquet.” Yuki fisted his hand.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing that!” said Yuki. Shigure hummed. “Yuki, you, you know Akito personally but do you realize you’re the only one with Haa-san and Kureno to have that privilege?” he shrugged. “I don’t think my case is an isolated one.”

“That’s exactly why I’m asking you why you told him that, it cost you anything, you have no relation!” said Yuki. Shigure opened his mouth to answer when a ringing tone echoed in the room. The dog stood up and looked at his phone. “Ah, Yuki-kun, I have to take this one.” He said. Yuki stood still and Shigure walked outside, phone against his ear. Yuki listened distantly, he heard the words ‘Promotion’ and ‘congratulation’ and Shigure's delighted laugh. He wondered who was at the phone until he heard Shigure said “At an animal café this Wednesday? To celebrate? Why not, sound fun.”

_‘Ah, that’s probably Mitsuru’_ he naïvely thought. It was surprising that she called him to announce the news, knowing the relationship she has with Shigure. Maybe it’s because she won’t be his editor anymore?

“So, how it was?” Asked Shigure. Yuki frowned and sipped his tea. This rotten dog was deliberately making the call last longer so he won’t have to face Yuki. “Ahah, really? I’m surprised you didn’t crack, you’re not the most patient person in the world, you know that?” he said jokingly before laughing a few seconds after. Yuki closed his eyes and tried to erase Shigure’s cheerful voice. This call wasn’t concerning him and he felt he has already heard too much. Since when Shigure was that kind with Mitsuru anyway?

Yuki waited for his cousin to end his call and coming back in the room, tapping the table with the tip of his fingers. He eyed him “Who it was? Mitsuru?” Asked Yuki in a sigh. Shigure sneered. “Ah! Yuki you know well that I would never take a call from Mitchan.” He laughed and looked at Yuki, gauging him for a moment. “No, it was my girlfriend.” Yuki blinked, surprised. Well, Shigure was a man of age and it was normal for him to be with somebody, after all, Hatori did go out with this Kana girl and Yuki still has to figure what’s the relation between his brother and his assistant. He just wondered what kind of person would date somebody like Shigure. Then he remembered that it must be one of another Shigure numerous lies. He decided to play along nonetheless. “Couldn’t tell her to call you later?”

“Oh no, she would be heartbroken, she loves me very much~ We’re lovey-dovey.” Yuki rolled his eyes. He could hardly imagine a cursed being all honey with a normal person. First because of the lack of affection they had during their childhood and the incapacity to give it back. Unless the girl was patient, gentle, accepting and understanding as Tohru, having that kind of relation was hard. Shigure was totally lying “She knows about the curse?”

“Yuki, what are you saying?” he sat smiled stupidly. Yuki frowned, decidedly he couldn’t understand what’s was in that man mind. “It is because of this girl that you said that to Akito?” he continued to act, trying to see the subtext.

“Oh, no, of course not.” He laughed, sliding his hands inside of the kimono’s sleeves he was wearing. “What kind of man do you think I am Yuki-kun?”

“I have many words in head Shigure.” He talked back. His cousin laughed anxiously, avoiding his eyes. They stood in silence and Yuki couldn’t understand what’s was in that man head. He knew that it was hard for the others zodiacs to not meet Akito. Hatsuharu told him once how he felt empty sometimes, as if something was lacking and that the ox in him was bellowing painfully, but he couldn’t do anything. Hatsuharu had a lot of trouble with the servants because of his ‘dark mode’. The main house forced his parents to send him in rehabilitation, saying he was too dangerous. Hatsuharu became even more violent and they had to send him back. It was after he channeled himself with martial art that he cooled down.

“Is not being able to meet Akito is that hindering?” he asked, unsure and Shigure looked distantly at the outside. “Well, isn’t that bothering, being linked to somebody we don’t know? Isn’t that just ball and chain?” he said, shrugging and Yuki pursed his lips. “Akito also need to change this, this situation can’t last Yuki.” Shigure said softly. “And Akito needs to realize it.”

“Is that really the reason you did it?”

Only silence answered to Yuki’s question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't the most interessant, but I guess it was important isn't it?


	22. Chapter 21

_She was splashing water on him, guffawing to the point that it was echoing all around him. He took her wrists to stop her and pulled her to him. Shigure kissed her in a quick smack and she wrapped her arms around the nape of his neck to kept him still against her lips. He chuckled and put his hands on each side of her hips. His tongue teased hers and he pulled her closer and closer, feeling her small but present and soft breasts unto his torso. He knew he was dreaming at this moment because he stayed human._ He woke up at Akito calling his name cheerfully, he fluttered his eyelashes and rolled in his futon. He thought about his dream and how Akito felt soft in his arms.

He wondered many times what would happens if Akito were to know about the curse. The bright side that he wasn’t cursed by a random spirit like a seahorse or an ox, no he was a dog. Dogs were lovable and fluffy, everybody loved them, he could say he was ‘lucky’ about it. If Akito ended by coincidence against him, he won’t crush her by his weight like Isuzu or Haru would do, and he wouldn’t end up crushed by her like Hatori, Yuki or Ayame.

So, at least physically there won’t be no harm, but mentally… How would she react? She wasn’t as comprehensive and kind as Tohru, nor as gullible as Kana. Akito was not positive as those two girls, she was actually going through things that Shigure couldn’t even imagine. The marks that Mine had saw on her back, they could be from her falling badly somewhere like staircases, like anybody could have, an accident. No, of course Akito was beaten. He remembered a discussion they had about people looking down on her at home. It was not surprising though, Akito was a lonely girl and she was scared of the world. She was shutting herself in, it was something that Shigure at noticed the first time he saw her wandering in the parc. It was more than one year ago.

The fact was that Shigure couldn’t anticipate what could be Akito’s reaction if she sees her boyfriend transforms in dog. Maybe she will act cutely and think that to break the curse you have to kiss him? Shigure snickered, that would be a mean teasing.

He stretched his arms and stood out of his futon and walked to his bathroom to do his ablution and shave. He barely had the time to go out and put a yukata on him that he heard at his door Mitsuru endlessly knocking “Sensei! Open the door! I know you’re here!” Shigure blinked at looked at his clock. How and why did she came here so soon? “Sensei! If you’re sleeping, I will come in and wake you up!” He smirked, was it a threat? She should know by now that he wasn’t the kind of person that you can compel.

“My, my Mitchan, you won’t never learn~” he said playfully and escaped by the little garden in the back of his house. Will she ever understand that he wasn’t available the Wednesday? Well, anyway, it was funny, even from the top stair of the Sohma’s estate, he could hear her scream. Ah, so funny.

He hopped to Hatori’s practice; his friend was on the porch smoking. He studied the writer grin and the screams that could be heard from here “Let me guess, you stand Mitsuru up.” Shigure laughed and put his tongue out in an innocent way. “Naah, we’re just playing.” He said playfully. Hatori glared “Shigure she came all the way and early to get your draft. I know you already wrote them.” Shigure pouted and suddenly found the bracken plants very interesting. “Shigure” warned Hatori.

“I didn’t know she was coming today. I don’t work the Wednesday.” He pouted “It’s not my fault.” Hatori stubbed out his cigarette and walked back in his office, Shigure following him. “Call her and tell her you’re not home. I don’t want somebody to find your editor’s body hung at the porch of your door.” He said, handing to Shigure his phone. The man whined and after a scowl from Hatori, he surrendered.

“Sensei you’re the worst! You know I’m away for the rest of the month.” She said, crying so loudly that Shigure had to move the phone away of his ear, closing an eye from discomfort. “Ah? Really? I did not remembered” he replied, using a cheerful tone.

“You liar! I called you three times and sent you mails about it!” she shouted and Shigure was sure he heard an echo of her yelling it from Hatori’s practice. “Ahw, you did?” he dared to lie and she weeps even more. “Anyway, I’m not at home right now, I’m out of the country to see my grandparent.” He lied and Hatori felt the urge to not roll his eyes as he poured for himself a cup of tea. This man was incorrigible. He turned his back to the window, taking a sip of his hot drink only to spit it out of surprise when he saw Ayame stuck at his window. It had to be joke.

“Hello Tori~ What a nice day isn’t it? A Wednesday as I like them!” he said, opening the window door as if he was home. “I had missed you! How are you?” he beamed so loudly that Hatori had to put a finger in his ear to protect them. _Noisy_. Shigure turned his head over him and used Ayame arrival as an excuse to hang up his call with Mitsuru and jumped in Ayame arms. “Aaaah! My dear, always here when I need you the most!”

“It’s because I heard your voice calling me.”

“But- Ayaa, I did not!” Said Shigure in a girlish voice, Ayame simply took him by the chin and he leant close to his face. “It was…The call of your heart!” Shigure gasped too loudly for it to be real. “Aaya!”

“Gure!” they clapped their hands together in a loud ‘alright’. Hatori simply looked at a patient file, already too used to their stupidity. “Still Ayaa, what a surprise? What are you doing here?” asked Shigure curiously. “Ah, good question, actually~ I’m here for you!” he answered, making his finger dance before pointing Shigure who gasped once again, mouthing an overly surprised ‘me?’

Ayame pulled out a paper bag of his store and gave him to his friend. “I know that you’re going to see Akito today, so I want you to give her that~ You can thank me for the gift later, when she will be all over you” beamed Ayame proudly, as a genius. Shigure smiled, confused and looked what’s was in the bag. “Clothes?” he asked, completely bewildered. “Thank you so much Aaya, but what’s the occasion?” he continued, not understanding why his friend was helping him so much to get into Akito’s pant. Ayame was too self-centered for it and it was completely out of character. “Did you do the same to Kyo-chan and Yuki-kun for Tohru?” he teased.

“Oh, no, I did it only for you my dear friend because you’re the most important for me. If this woman is stealing your heart darling, I want her to be well-dressed of course.” He laughed loudly and Hatori was at this to jump on him and to strangle his neck. This idiot couldn’t be more obvious, Shigure was going to notice things were odd and that Ayame was way too interested in Akito than he should be. He damned himself, he shouldn’t had told him. It’s not that he did not understand Ayame, he dreamed for Akito to wear his creations since she was born, but it was too much.

“More like Yuki and Kyo will punch if you dared” he said, trying to send a subtill signal to Ayame. “And I don’t want to sew your nose up.” He added. “Oh, I’m sure Yuki loves me too much to hurt me.” Said Ayame confident. “By the way Gure” he changed the subject. “Did you two already had a date with her in the marvelous dress I made?” he asked and Shigure laughed. “Hm, no yet, to my great chagrin she prefers to stay with her pants” he whined. 

“Ah, what a shame! Such a waste!” said Ayame with chagrin. Hatori propped his chin on his hand; the fact that Akito even wore a dress was an improvement, Hatori could easily imagine how big the step was for Akito. Numerous time Hatori had held her crying in his arms during her period or when he was injecting her hormones, dooming her condition. No matter how much Ren was forcing the male gender on Akito, the girl felt herself be a woman, never a man. Living and assuming who she was and her gender was stressful, no matter how much she desired it.

Even if Shigure was stupid and could act like a child, he was helping Akito to be happy and she improved herself. He hoped this situation could last.

“By the way, did Momiji invited you two?” asked suddenly Shigure. “Last Sunday, he came to my house with Tohru-kun and told us that they were going to the sea for the summer holiday. He wanted to invite all the zodiac.”

“Ah, yeah, Momiji told me. I’m think about going, yes. But, not for long, I have to watch Akito’s health.” Shigure frowned a moment before widening his eyes in awareness. _Ah yes, the Akito-god. _

“I’m also going, I won’t miss an occasion to bond with my dear and adorable little brother!”

“You know, I think one day Yuki will really kill you.”

* * *

“I think I’ve found a rival here.” Chuckled Shigure as he was fixing the cat resting on Akito’s laps. A beautiful and purring grey Maine coon. When Akito asked him to go out in an animal café, he had almost been scared that she would drag him in a dog café, bless lord the cats were more popular. He and Akito were one of the few clients in the store, the other people around were a group of three young wife. He looked back to Akito who was smiling softly at the cat resting on her laps, stroking his fluffy fur. She was also wearing the new dress that Ayame gave him this morning. Shigure has been scared she would refuse the present because there was too much pattern on the cloth and yet, when she had taken out the dress out of the paper bag, she had gasped in joy. Shigure had been scared that she would had jump on him, arms open to hug him so he took the first step and kissed her forehead, holding her forearms still subtly.

Her happy smiling face was the most adorable, her eyes saying ‘I love you’ was the best view, her sweet delighted chuckles were the best sound. When she thanked him for the gift -as if he would tell her that it was actually Ayame’s present, she asked him if they could find a place where she could change her clothes. Once she had been out, Shigure had to fix her tie-bow. It was so domestic that Shigure had felt he didn’t mind if he had to do it every day. Maybe he could teach her how to put on a tie, so she could do his. A smile grew on his lips as he had been imagining the scene. Yeah, he wouldn’t mind being with her always. He wanted to see her the Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He was starting to wish that every day was like Wednesday.

She had taken his hand and they walked in direction of the cat café. _“One of my friends told me about this place, he told me it’s pretty popular and I wanted to go.”_ She had explained. She had even payed the time lot leading them to this moment. Akito and Shigure with cats purring around them. She chuckled at his last comment and dared to rub her finger under the cat muzzle. “Are you jealous of a plain cat?” she laughed, calling him pathetic, yet her eyes were shining with proudness._ ‘desire me more’ _it said.

The cat, as if noticing they were talking about him, risen up from her laps and stretched itself up to her chest. She smiled and she passed her arm around him, hugging the little animal against her bosom. _Damn_, she was right, he was jealous of a plain cat. He wished he too, to be able to feel her frame against his and having her arms around his back or the nape of his neck. Even in carnal way, he knows that he and Akito will have sex, but he felt an emptiness to not be able to hold her close when they will do it. Shigure wasn’t inexperienced, he did it many times, too many times in Hatori’s opinion. All people in the main house remembered what he has done when he was younger. But, Akito was different, she wasn’t a tool to get into a goddess’s house, she was her own person that Shigure loved and desired more than everything.

He did not want to take her by behind, he wanted to see her face when she will reach her climax, and he was scared to going soft the moment he will see the bruises on her back, unless it has already disappeared. Also, with him covering her, Shigure feared that she might wrap her arms around him and hold him close during a moment of passion. The best position would be her on top of him, it was a view he often imagined when he was taking a bath or in the middle of the night when he couldn’t fall asleep. Yet, he was sure that with her little stamina, she will fall on top of him. He couldn’t have any sex with her until he tells her about the curse, and he was not looking forward to do it.

The cat on Akito’s chest purred soundly and rubbed its head against her cheek, making her smile in delight. Shigure looked with deep affection, scratching mindlessly at a Persian-raced black cat belly. He imagined that instead of being in a café, they would be instead in their own house, and the cats would be their owns, unless it was another type of animal. Shigure would like dogs, but they’d will always stick him and he wouldn't have time to enjoy Akito because of this. He dared for a few seconds imagining children instead of pets but quickly chased the ideas away, _too soon._

He started to move. “I’m getting a little hungry, want something?” he asked. Akito “Hum, surprise me.” She said absently stroking the cat soft fur. Shigure knew she was too lazy to think about what to eat but wanted to be with him. “Alright.” He stood up and bent just to kiss quickly her head. “Can you get a table for us?” she growled “It wasn’t the deal.” 

“I hunt the food, you watch the house.” He said mimicking in mockery a male alpha voice. She bunted his shoulder and the cat left instantly. “Haw, Akito, you scared him!” she grunted. “I did not, it’s your fault!” Shigure chuckled and hushed her with a kiss. “Ahw, come on~” she pouted and stood up, clear the cat hairs off her dress and looked for a table to sit. Shigure walked to the counter and asked for cold coffee and hot chocolate and two part of pie. Waiting for the order to be done, he rested the little of his back against the counter and looked at Akito playing with a red-haired cat on the table she sat on. From far, the cat looked like Kyo’s animal appearance. His affined sense let him heard his soft laugh from here and the view of her agitating the feather toy to play with that merry cat made something deep in him bark in joy. He wanted to run and kiss and hold her dear in his arms, feeling every fragile inch of her body against his, he wanted to protect and to take her away and to make her laugh that way until the end of the world. He wanted to be the one to make her happy for every waking moment she was breathing. Shigure smiled scornfully at himself, he had always known that he was possessive prick.

The waitress called for him and handed him the plate with the drinks and foods on, he thanked the girl with a charming wink and took the tray and walked where Akito’s the table was. She was now scratching the cat belly and this lucky bastard was purring like not end. He put the plate on the table and next in front of her. “My, my, what a cat lover.” He said, stroking the red coat. “I did not know that you loved them so much.” He sang. Akito frowned, as if wondering if it was indeed the case. “I don’t like cats that much.”

Shigure eyebrows went up, really? He wanted to ask, because her hand stroking with deep attention the cat fur was telling him the opposite. “Cats are betrayers, you can’t trust them.” She said after a long moment. “Ah, you love faithful?” he asked, a smile on his lips. “So, dogs are your favorites, right?” he said proudness in the voice. Akito hand went still. “No, dogs are worse.” Her face made a horrible grimace, mixed between anger and profound sadness. “I actually hate them.”

Shigure wanted to ask why that face, she looked like she was about to cry. He put his hand on her cheek and she leant into the touch, cupping his hand. “I used to have a dog” she said in a breath. “He abandoned me.” He hummed, he found funny that she said it as if the dog has done a choice. “Maybe he is just lost.”

“No, he left me.” She said in gall, fisting her free hand. Shigure scratched his cheek. “Well, what animal do you like then?” he asked, trying to change the subject about dog. Her hate about dog was dejecting and the spirit dog in him was now squealing, almost howling desperately. Sound it too grew attached to her.

“Birds…They just fly away. I don’t like them neither.” She thought at low voice and looked down back to the purring cat. “…I guess I prefer cats, we are not that different in fact.” She said, slowly, resuming her belly stroking. “I took you an apple pie.” He said, sliding the chocolate cup out of the plate. “And hot chocolate” she blinked.

“We are in middle of June and you offer me hot chocolate?” She said, she took a sip nonetheless and put her little pink tongue out when hotness of the drink burnt it. _Adorable_. “What? You said you wanted me to surprise you?” he teased, chuckled proudly only to receive a kick on his knee. “Ouch, you hurt me!” he fake-whined. “I’m going to sue you Akito-chan.” She blushed suddenly before grunting “No witnesses, no crime” she said, digging into the apple pie and Shigure burst out. The Kyo-alike cat rolled over him, asking to be petted. “Already talking like a criminal” he said, stroking the cat head absently, Akito rolled her eyes and tried to cool off her chocolate by blowing on it.

“When you said you were the same as cat, I didn’t think you were talking about their tongues.” He chuckled and sipped his coffee with no difficulties. Akito glared at him. “It’s too hot.” She groaned before pouting. “It’s okay Akito, that’s cute.” He teased, resting his head on his palm. She scowled once more and decided to avenge herself by stealing a bit of his berry pie. She boldly looked right into his eyes when she put the spoon in her mouth, a proud smirk in her face. Shigure took a deep breath, his eyes focused on her lips. “What a nasty girl.” He said, licking his thumb before bringing it on her lips where some juice from the berries were and cleaned it off. “Not able to eat properly.” He teased and she pouted and suddenly put the thumb resting on her lip in her mouth.

His breath caught in his throat, he did not let it show her how much she just affected her, he wanted to keep some control of the situation and on his body. But the wetness and warm feeling of her mouth around his finger. He tried to not imagine that instead of his thumb, it was his own and hard dick that she was sucking. _Ah fuck_. He pinched gently her cheek with his free hand and she let his finger go with a contemptuous smile. “Really a nasty girl.” He repeated, mesmerism in the voice.

“You don’t dislike it though.” She talked back, lifting her chin proudly, he mimicked her smile. “No indeed.” He chuckled and sipped his coffee. She was eating her slice, waiting for the chocolate to cool off since blowing up on it was useless.

Another cat jump on the table and stuck itself against Akito’s frame. She absently petted it while she talked about her promotion. “At the end, it won’t change anything, I still don’t have any responsibilities.” She said. “Well, I did not expect anything, but I still let down.” She sighed, caressing his ankle with her feet. Shigure hummed. “Why don’t you change job if you feel you’re not recognized to your worth?” asked Shigure after swallowing the last part of his pie and intertwining his fingers with hers. Akito frowned. “I can’t, I need to be here for them.”

“They can’t manage without you? They can always find somebody else no?” Akito’s breath hitched and she looked at him with horror. “Akito?”

“Why are you saying that?!” she suddenly shouted, making the cats run far away from them. The shop-worker glared in their direction and Shigure clear his throat off. “Akito don’t scream.” He warned but she was too angry to listen. “Don’t tell me what to do!” He grabbed her wrist, trying to calm her before the worker would expel them. “Akito, please calm down” he said a little too authorial making her gasp and widen her eyes. She looked at him shocked and somebody came to their table.

“Any problem here?” asked the worker, a frown on their face. Shigure smiled innocently. “Nah, sorry, we had a little disagreement, but it’s okay now.” He giggled kindly while Akito downed her head. The worker hesitated a moment. “Then, I will ask you to not scream anymore, you are scaring away the cats.” Shigure apologized and they walked away. He looked a moment to see if they were far enough and then he leant toward her.

“Akito, what was that now?” he asked. Was that job so important for her that she got angry? She probably had people she held dear there so she didn’t want to quit the job that made her unhappy. It was not the first time she told him about that job and each time without failing, her face showed deep sourness. He had often asked questions but she always stood evasive. Wondering what kind of job she was doing kept him awake for hours. Was it dangerous? Was she beaten at work? Was it because she tried to protect somebody?

He had tried to steer the conversation about her work. His fears about her working at a brothel or in dirty business had quickly disappeared when she had showed complete confusion when he talked about these places. It was too genuine for it to be a lie and he had relaxed a bit. It did not change the fact that she was unhappy at work and that he wanted her to be far away from it. He heard a sob. “Akito…” he said, his voice kinder than before.

“I think our time is up, we should go…” he said quietly, wiping her tears off with his thumb. Never he would have known how horrible it was to not be able to recomfort the person he loved the most in the crook of his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter <3  
I liked imagine Akito playing with the cat. I thought about it a lot but...Isn't she a lot like a cat? haha  
(Shigure is starting to get horny too-)


	23. Chapter 22

That was it, Hatori was going to kill Shigure. He was going to empoison his tea the next he will sneak in his office, or maybe he should be more direct and strangle him.

_“Hatori, I need you to buy me underwear.” Said Akito out of nowhere. “And real female underwear. I don’t want boxers anymore, I have enough of them. Buy me panties and bras.” Hatori had to struggle with himself to not choke. “Can’t Kureno do it?” _

_“No, that would be too noticeable.” She just answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hatori massaged his temples. “Akito…Why now?”_

_“Well, I am a woman, isn’t that normal to wear underwear for girl?” she said, avoiding his eyes and blushing. His eyes wandered on magazine and Shigure’s trashy romance novels, who was she kidding. She and Shigure have been dating for months now, it was a miracle that Shigure did not jump her yet actually. Hatori wasn’t stupid, he knew how both of them worked and for each of them, he had cleaned off their messes after their sexual urges. Well, it was a part of his works to erase memories and to take care of Akito’s health. But going out to shop panties for her was too much. _

_“Akito, I don’t even know what kind of underwear you want.” He said with patience. “I-” she started, before closing her mouth. “Didn’t you go out with somebody…Hana…”_

_“Kana.” He corrected. “Yes” she said, barely taking attention. “You must have seen her with lingerie” oh boy “Just, take something similar” she pulled his sleeve and looked in his eyes like a puppy, and fuck, was Shigure the one who taught her to use that expression? “Please Hatori…You’re the only one I can ask…” how could he say no to that kind of voice. _

Hatori opened his eyes and looked at the lingerie store in front of him. Ah, he really wanted to die. And people were starting to notice him, of course they would. Any men staying in front of a lingerie shop would give creeps. Maybe he could try to buy her undies on internet or something? Yeah, it sounded good. Nodding with himself, he started to take a step away of the shop window when he ended up nose to nose with a friend. “Ma-Mayuko?”

They were looking at each other with wide eyes. “Wha…What are you doing here?” she asked suddenly in a yell before turning her head toward the store sign. “In front of a…Lingerie store?” she said slowly as if not believing before snorting. “Mayu…it’s not what you think it’s…”

“Did Shigure’s pervert mind finally caught you?!” She asked, starting to tears out because of laughing too much. “Mayuko please hear me out” he tried to say desperately. Her body was bend in half because she was giggling too much. “Oh my god, it’s perfect, I’m dying haha.” She tried to breath between laugh but it was no use. This day was already perfect for her, she saw Hatori in an inappropriate position. She caught her breath and she could see how Hatori was embarrassed and annoyed at the same time.

“Let me guess, you lost a bet with Shigure and Ayame and you have to buy a panty or a bra?” she said, massaged her cheeks, she was smiling so much that it hurt. Hatori sighed. “If only…But no, a cousin of mine asked me to buy for her uhm…” he eyed the store, a bit blushing and Mayuko found him adorable. Yet, it didn’t prevent her to laugh again. “I’m so sorry Hatori…It’s just…You…In front of a that kind store is…Haha” Hatori grunted, passing a hand of his face. “I know, it’s already hard enough for me Mayu”

She took a deep breath to stop herself from laughing, still, a grin remained on her face. “Okay, you want help? It will be less cringy if I go with you.” She proposed and Hatori blinked, surprised. “Are you sure? It’s really nice of you actually…”

“Of course I’m sure, you’re already suffering enough!” she chuckled, already enjoying to have the chance to get to share a little of her time with him. She guessed it wasn’t such a good idea, knowing that he was one of her best friend ex. But she remembered the discussion she had with Shigure months ago when he came for a book. _“So what? I didn’t know you were the kind of person to let the past shadow you Mayu, watch out, it’s not good for the spirit~”_ he had teased. He annoyed her, he never let anything move him, not even the past nor the future_. “Anyway, I’m sure Kana won’t mind. For her, it’s already all forgotten.” _

Mayuko shook her head, having him in mind made her cringe. “Tell me what are her measurements? And why does she want lingerie? It’s not free, especially in that kind of store. Wouldn’t a normal underwear work?” She said and Hatori blinked. The idea of buying normal undies didn’t even cross his mind.

“It isn’t?” he asked, genuinely surprised. Lingerie was just pretty underwear; it shouldn’t cost more than a normal pants. “Yeah? It’s cost a lot to be a woman you know?” she smirked, bumping playfully her elbow against his arm. “Most of the time, you bought like what, one set?” she said thoughtfully. Hatori frowned. “She won’t be satisfied with only one set…” he muttered and Mayu looked at him with wide eyes before rolling her eyes. “Ah, I tend to forgot that you grew up in a fucking rich family.” Hatori smirked.

“Well, let’s go in” she said. “By the way, you didn’t answer, what are her measurements?” she asked, once in the store when she had her eyes on a red corset. Hatori decided to stare at his shoes “…A cup” he said slowly. He really felt out of place and he felt everyone in this shop was looking at him. “And you know what kind of lingerie she wants? It’s for her or her boyfriend?” she asked and showed him a black bra. “How is this one?” she asked, shoving it against her own chest to show Hatori. When he blushed, she suddenly became aware that she was talking about underwear with the dude she was just in love with and that she just showed a cute bra on her chest. She pulled the underwear back at its original place, red on the cheeks_. Oh god_.

She avoided his eyes and he cleared off his throat. “She got her first boyfriend four months ago” he explained “I guess she want to please him.” He grimaced and Mayuko smiled at his face. “And…As a man you have an idea of what might please him?” Hatori cringed even more, he did not want to ask to Shigure was kind of lingerie he wanted to see on Akito. Between him and Mayuko, she was the one who had experience with the man, or he thought so.

“No, not really…” he said hiding one more his face behind his hand. Mayuko had a little giggle. “Alright, I get it, I’m choosing for you. I’ll be back.” Before she could walk away, he caught her by the arm. “Mayuko I-” she blinked and she realized that she couldn’t let him alone in the middle of a store selling bras and knickers. “I mean, hm…Yeah follow me and let’s be quick?” she chuckled again when she saw a desperate _‘yes please’_ in his eyes.

She mainly chosen neutral colors like white and black with cute laces. She kept on the classic, nothing transparent and no garter belts. If his cousin wanted more, she will have to ask. But it was enough in Mayuko’s taste and Hatori was visibly feeling bad here, as if staying more than one minute here might make him faint. When she walked to the counter with him, she felt like she was with her lover and she almost squirmed at the thought. For that reason, she was all smile.

“You can be worse than Shigure sometime.” He chuckled and she gasped. “That’s was uncalled for!” she said and he laughed, feeling more comfortable. Mayuko smiled kindly, she was so glad to see him happy. He paid the underwear and they walked out. “Mayu, can I buy you a coffee? As a thank.” He asked and she wouldn’t say no to any occasion to spent time with him.

* * *

Having a bra around her chest was different than having bandage. She was scared it would block her breath and that it would be uncomfortable, but it was actually at the worst scratchy. The tissue felt good on her breast and it was maybe her impression, but when she looked at herself in the mirror wearing the lingerie, she felt like her body was indeed a woman’s and not some eldritch abomination’s. Bit by bit, Akito was learning to accept her body and its beauty.

At first, she only wanted women undies to continue on the path of regain the control of her own body, she already wore dresses and skirts, but here she was touching something more intimate that was touching her most secret parts, her female’s. The same parts of her body that her mother tried to binders forcefully and ignored when it was pouring blood. But Akito had enough, she wanted her body back to her. She was glad of the result. She quickly put a pant and one of her girl-fitted shirts and looked at her once more in the mirror, satisfied.

She walked along the hall heading to the living room and then sat in front of Kureno at the table. Her smile disappeared when she saw the usual fish, miso soup and white rice. Kureno had tried to talk to the cooker but they ranted, saying that they have been cooking this breakfast for years and there were no reasons for it to change. The next day, the rice have been barely cooked and it had stuck between her tooth. Kureno was sorry. She did not care.

“Are you going to meet her?” she asked suddenly, chewing hardly the rice. Today too, it wasn’t cook well enough. Kureno nodded. “Yes, she told me she wanted to see a movie. I think it can be nice.” Kureno blushed shyly at the idea and Akito played with her rice and chopstick. “I hope she will fall asleep.” Kureno risen up his eyebrows, confused. “What…Why?” Akito only sighed and looked at Kureno as if he was stupid. “Because that way she will fall in your arms.” She rolled her eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. After all, it was what happened with her when she did go with Shigure at the movie theater. He was so tired that he had fell asleep and slid against her chest. Akito had blushed hard and she had wanted to squeal in joy when it has happened but instead, she had just put him back on her shoulder instead. It was the only time she had the chance to embrace him. Actually, even since they started to go out, he was never pulling her close to him. He did have kissed her and sometimes took her hand, but when she was seeing the couple around sticking to each other’s arms or chest, she couldn’t help but feeling jealous. Why Shigure wasn’t doing it too? And he even rejected her, each time she tried to embrace him, he would hold her still by the shoulders or taking her wrists. She felt angry and she wanted to scream at him for this, but each time, his sweet kisses and his caresses on her skin made her dizzy and she was forgetting everything else.

Kureno on his owns, was feeling troubled with his relation with Arisa Uotani. She was a girl he had met one day when he had left Akito in the parc. Their first meeting had been strange, for their second, she ran after him and they ended eating soba noodles. It had made him forget about the main house, Akito’s depression, the family pestering and his own uselessness. The way she made him smile and how she laughed delighting at what he said was ecstatic. He was sad when it was time to fetch Akito. He had dared to go see Arisa one month after this meeting, when he saw a scarf that wasn’t his or Akito’s around the young goddess neck. He had told himself that if Akito was meeting new people, maybe he could try too. Even now, it felt like the best decision of his life.

He had been so happy to meet Arisa that he felt the need to tell Akito. He had wanted to tell her everything about the joy he felt when he had been around Arisa. And he did, and Akito had listened. Sometime she had a sad frown, other time she was smiling gently. Sometime she asked question about her and wondered what would be their future. _“Akito…We are nine years apart…She is still in high school. I barely know her.” _He had answered softly.

_“But…Wasn’t I the same age when we-”_

_“Akito, we both know it was an error.”_ He quickly interrupted, feeling his head growing hot. Thinking about his first time was the worst, Akito had been in tears, Hatori was ready to strangle both of them and he had felt sick during the act because it had felt wrong, wrong, wrong. And yet, he did it. _“The fact is, I won’t see Arisa under this light, she is just a friend. Nothing more.”_ He said softly. They were nine years apart, that wasn't normal.

“We are just going to see a movie between friends” he said gently and she rolled her eyes before clicking her tongue. “Akito…” he called. “I know, but did you ever thought that she was in love with you, aren’t you just giving her false-hope?” she grunted, visible angry and Kureno did not understand why. “Even so Akito, I can’t give her that. She is too young.” Akito still frowned and the rest of the morning passed slowly for both of them. Akito was reading files and lessons about managing the incoming of a company and was studying the example of the Michiba company crisis. Kureno was simply dusting the room and taking care of their laundry since today maids weren’t here.

For lunch, Kureno simply reheated rice and Japanese hamburger. At least he was sure that she will eat, she was kind of fond of occidental-alike meals. So even though she barely touched the bland rice, she eaten the whole steak. There were improvement and he and Hatori had noticed the few pounds she took since December. Even during the lunch, she was studying how to manage the Sohma family in the future. She was so serious yet, Ren wouldn’t let her handle Sohma’s business and Akito was still too scared to confront her. Ren had scarred her beyond repair.

When he cleaned off the table, she was already behind him, asking silently but with urge in her eyes to go. “It’s the maid’s job to clean it off!” she said, groaning and pulling at his sleeve. Kureno smiled patiently. “Yes, but it will be awkward isn’t it? Leaving it here when we should have been staying here the whole day.” He said. “We’ll just gonna clean it before the maids come back.” She spat, crossing her arms. Kureno smiled. “Still Akito, we have to clean it, now.” He gently told and she grunted even more and then walked back to the table and watched him with her eyes narrowed.

Only when he was satisfied enough, he went to her, her shoes in the hand. “Let’s go Akito.” She rushed to her shoes and ran to the genkan to put them. Kureno took his time to put his on. Akito was like a little kid vibrating of impatience while he was the calm big brother. She called him and then go out. Closing the door behind they quickly rushed to hid themselves behind bushes and walked in alert along the wall until arriving to the garage where they stocked all the Sohma’s car. Kureno pulled out his keys from his pocket and they slid into the car, both smiling at each other like two naughty children.

Then he drove her to the parc. Multiple time she looked at herself in the reflection of the window, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear before pulling it off. This gesture reminded him of Arisa when she was talking to him. It was cute and innocent, yet, Kureno didn’t find Akito as endearing as Arisa. He didn’t ask himself why he was thinking this; he was scared of the answer.

He stopped the car and told Akito that he was going to fetch her later, she barely listened him and walked quickly into the parc. He exhaled a laugh and drove farer to park the car and leave it here. He exited the vehicle and walked to the nearest combini, the one where Arisa was working in. She will be finished in a few minutes now, so he decided to wait for her outside. Maybe he will buy her an ice cream after, the summer was starting to get really hot and Arisa must be tired from her work. They will probably eat it while walking to the movie theater. Kureno smiled at the idea.

Arisa was outside, sweeping the floor. When she noticed him, she threw him a shiny smile. “Hi…” he just said, a beam on his lips.

“Ah! Wait a few minutes I’m almost over!” she grinned, showing her teeth and Kureno just told her to take her time, that there was no rush. “What? Stop lying! Each minute is important when you're with somebody!” she yelled and Kureno chuckled. She was cute. She quickly ran back to the inside of the store to finish her shift and Kureno patiently waited outside. The road was more crowded that normal, it was July and students were in holiday. That was why he could had saw Arisa today. She was right, their time together were precious, he wasn’t as lucky as Akito, seeing the person she loved every week. Kureno still wanted to ask her about that mysterious person, but she was stubbornly keeping silent.

Arisa rushing out of the store snapped him out his thoughts. She showed him two popsicles and her white teeth. “Look what I got! Let’s eat them quick before it melts!” she beamed and handed him the grapefruit flavor one. He smiled and took it. “Let’s eat it on the way.” He offered and Arisa yelled her agreement and she joyfully showed the way. Kureno smiled in happiness, following her. They had time to finish their ice cream before arriving to the movie theater and Arisa pulled out the two tickets she already bought. Kureno was embarrassed to let a such young girl pay for his place but she was adamant about it. “You already payed me restaurant!” she exclaimed and she pulled his sleeve until they were sitting in front of the big screen of cinema.

“I have never been in at cinema before, I’m a bit excited. My friend told me the movie she had seen was boring, but I’m sure the experience was incredible.” He said joyfully, like a kid and Arisa looked at him with big eyes before putting her hand on her face and turning her head away. Kureno was sure he saw redness on her ear.

The movie started and Kureno was in a second immersed in that world of colors and sounds that he almost hadn’t noticed when bold Arisa’s hand slid in his. He should has pulled her off but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt like a criminal.

When they got out, they walked while discussing of the movie. Kureno found it great and Arisa was arguing on some plot point. It was nonetheless one of the best moments in Kureno life and he was enjoying every second of it. They were still talking when his alarm rang. Kureno stopped it and looked at the time and gasped. “Sorry Arisa, I have to go. I’m already late.” She made a sound of disappointment but did not argue. She still walked with him until he arrived to his car.

“You really have to go?” she asked suddenly. “Yes, she is waiting for me.”

Arisa bit her lips and downed her head, Kureno hated that sight and he lifted her head by pulling her by the chin. “I’ll be back, don’t worry. See you next time.” He said gently and Arisa nodded. “You’re too kind, you know it?” Kureno thanked her. However, as he started the engine, he wondered what was the use of kindness if he was useless and even sometime hurting the ones he loved.

Akito was already waiting for him at the entry of the parc and she commented his lateness. “It’s too hot! I thought I was going to faint!” she grunted, crossing her arms on her seat. Kureno apologized and he noticed a necklace around her neck that wasn’t here before he left her at the parc. He couldn’t help for see it as a mark of possession.

The parked the car in the Sohma estate and they quickly rushed back to the main house before their absence would go noticed. Akito directly jumped in a bath and Kureno decided to use this time to wander around in the main house and taking out the trash. What wasn’t his surprise to end right in front of Ren when he opened the entry door.

The moment she laid her onyx eyes on him, he felt his blood freeze. “Ah, Kureno, what are you doing here? Did you had enough of my son?” she asked in a sweet wicked voice that made Kureno want to shiver. “Akito is taking a bath” he merely explained. “Should I go fetch him now?” he asked, knowing that if Ren made all the way up there, it was to see her son-daughter.

Ren smiled gently. “Oh, it’s alright, I wanted to go present you the new part-time maid I hired, she will cook for you the week-end. Come here Honda-chan, don’t be shy.” She called, turning to the young girl behind her.

The girl, she must have the same age as Arisa, walked and bowed. “Nice to meet you I’m Honda Tohru, please, please treat me well.” She said gently. “Honda-chan will start working here at mid-august.” Said Ren, putting her hand on Tohru’s shoulder. The girl’s breath hitched at the touch but she said nothing and studied Kureno.

He simply gulped, wondering what Ren had behind the head. “You are welcome here Honda-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, a chapter with Kureno and Hatori POV all along. The akigure was more implied here, haha.


	24. chapter 23

Akito brushed her hair at the mirror and then threw the brush on the floor, frustrated. Ren had called the hairdresser yesterday and cut her hair that she has been trying to keep long for months. Now they weren’t as long as Yuki's and it irritated her. At least, she still has her female clothes, it was the only thing that could reminds her that she was a woman and that no abuse from Ren could change that. Her mind was ready to fight her but her body, her voice, her emotions refused to listen and each time she was in front of Ren, she would stand still, her voice caught in her throat and fear making her body shiver forcefully. Akito wondered if one day she will be free of all of this.

She tried to focus herself on happy thoughts. Last week, she hasn’t been able to see Shigure. _“My family invited me to our summer house, I couldn’t refuse.” He said gently, stealing a spoon of her ice cream, she yelled at this in loss. “Are you going somewhere for summer?” he asked gently. _

_“No, I’ll stay home.” She grunted angrily, as always, stuck between her bedroom giving on the garden, Kureno’s, the bathroom and the living room. Shigure flicked on the empty place between her two eyebrows. “If you want, I can take you with me” he said in a smirk and she suddenly had the desire to, but the ghost Ren’s fingers appeared suddenly and strangled her throat, preventing Akito to answer the words that she wanted to say. So, she shook her head. However, she was angry at Shigure to go again without her, and he teased her about it. _

_“Why are you so mean with me.” She had said and Shigure had burst out. “I’m not mean, I’m lovingly teasing you~” he had said and bend down to kiss her cheek and her knuckle. “Never doubt that.” His smile had made Akito pout and chill sweetly._

She had been really lonely the Wednesday after and she had wandered for the first time alone in the city. She had passed across numerous restaurants, café, shop and love hotel and she ended her walk in another parc. She had sat on a swing and had swung back and forth. It had entertained her for half of hour before she got bored again, she had decided to wander again in the city. She had thought of going to Ayame store and see Mine again, but she did not really remember the way up there. So, she continued to walk. After a moment, she had lost the city’s crowd and had found herself in the middle of a side street. Tired, she had sat on stair and pondered. Had pondered about her life, wondering if it was different of doing it here, outside than doing it in the Sohma estate. She had the impression that if she had continued to walk farer, she would has maybe found her freedom. Yet, she came back to the parc and waited Kureno. On the way, a dog had started to follow her. She had wanted to hit it out of anger, remembering of her owns dog who betrayed her yet. However, when she had seen its muzzle, she had kneeled down and had hug the dog tight against her frame and cried. The dog had gently licked her face, wagging its tail and then, Akito let it go.

She had then hugged herself, she wanted to see Shigure and quick. She wanted him to shield her in his arms and to take her far, far away. But at the same time, she refused to go, because even if the dog deserted her and the bird flew away, she had still ten others zodiacs to take care of and as long as she could be somehow useful to them, she refused to leave their sides. Even that cat…The more she thought about him, she more she thought they were similar, both of them will probably end their life locked up in a house because of a curse they were born with and they were both treated like monster. The more the time passed, the more she desired to meet and talk with the cat-cursed.

She had found her way back and waited Kureno to come pick her. At least he bad been here in time and he had brought her back without a word. That night she had dreamed of Shigure and how warm his embrace would be. They had been laying on the white sand, both wet from playing in water and when Akito had woke up, she had wondered if it was the image she had of freedom and happiness. Her zodiacs never had felt as far to her this morning.

She had missed him all the rest of the week and the fact that the whole Sohma estate was so calm improved her boredom. She had learnt the Saturday that Ren too had went to the Sohma sea house. Akito was green of jealousy, why this woman who was making her life a hell each time the gates of the Sohma estate closed behind her had the chance to be with her zodiacs. Akito knew how much Ren despised them, she was just showing off to Akito.

She groaned and stood up. It was time to go anyway.

* * *

Shigure was already here by the pond however Akito was surprised to see him with glasses on the nose. He was writing and Akito had to admit that it was the first time she saw him at work. He was completely immersed in his own little world, his hand was moving again and again. She wanted him to look at her so she could enjoy his wearing glasses face even more. She felt proud to know that this handsome man was hers. Without a word, she sat next to him and put her head on his shoulder. He vaguely stroked her hair, his eyes still on his paper and his hand endlessly writing. She wanted to pull his sleeve brutally so he will have to look at her. But she decided otherwise, thinking that it wouldn’t be the wiser thing to do after two weeks of separation.

His hand finally stopped to move after two longs minutes and he put his pen on the grass and clapped the board he was writing on, putting his work and his things back in a bag he brought with him, he removed his glasses and then he kissed Akito’s forehead. “Hey.” He simply said, his lips still against her skin. He breathed in. “Hm, you changed your shampoo no?” he asked suddenly pulling himself away to look at her face. “And you cut your hair!” He said in a beam, rubbing his thumbs on each side of her cheeks.

She just nodded a bit and she thought herself that if Shigure fingers were touching her face even closer than usual when he was caressing her hair, then maybe having it short wasn’t that bad. “You’re working?” she asked, her eyes shifting to the bag next to him, the one where he had put his stuffs away. “Yeah, I haven't been able to work at the summer house.” He laughed and she frowned. _‘Yeah, you couldn’t work here so you prefer working when I’m with you, it’s just perfect.’_ Thought sourly Akito. She wanted to snuggle beside him and at the same time scratch his arm until he bled to punish him to be that daring.

“I really wanted though, but things went a kind of wrong there so I’m late in my own schedule” he sighed, laying on the grass on putting his arms behind his head. Akito shifted her position to look at him from the top. She made a sound to ask him to explain. He risen an arm and touched the necklace he had bought her. It was a pretty designed flower made of silver with a red drop in the middle. “Oh, nothing much, I had to go to hospital~” he sang. Akito eyes went wide and she studied quickly his body, trying to find any trace of hurt, Shigure laughed even more. “Haw, you’re worried for me.”

Akito roared and pinched his wrist, that idiot just lied to her to makes her worry. “Next time you lie to me on purpose, I’ll be the one sending you to hospital.” She said, her face red from a mix of irritation and embarrassment. Shigure chuckled. “But I didn’t lie.”

“Then you should be in a worst state!” she said and he straightened his back and took her chin between his fingers. “I never said I was the one hospitalized~” Akito eyes widened and she clicked her tongue, annoyed, and she looked aside. “Why are you always testing me?” she grunted and Shigure laughed. “Because I love you?” he offered and she send him a glare. “Nah, really, it made me so happy was you were worried for me~” he said playfully in a voice that sounded like a delightful laugh. “Who it was then?” she replied, red till her ears and Shigure kissed her forehead again.

“Shigure, what happened then?” she asked once more, annoyed that he was ignoring her. Shigure grimaced funnily and hummed. “Ah, it was a cousin of mine, he had been attacked, we were quite surprised he ended so damaged, he is strong as a bull you know.”

“Is he okay?” she asked without thinking, it was like she wasn’t herself talking. Why was she caring? “Ah, he is still in hospital, but he will be discharged in a month. He will miss a few days of school though.” He shrugged. “It has spoilt our holiday pretty much. It would have been better if you were with me~” he teased and she sighed.

“You know I can’t” she said and Shigure rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” And Akito hated the tone he used, as if she was throwing a whim and that he was just being really patient. “Shigure don’t use that tone with me!” she said, fisting her hands. “What’s tone?” he taunted. “This one like if you’re talking to a child! It’s annoying!”

“Eh, but, I’m sure there are more annoying things here.” He said a thinking tone, tapping his index on his chin in thought, Akito frowned. “Like what?” she asked not liking where this discussion was going.

“I don’t know Akito, maybe seeing your girlfriend only once in a week for about four hours?” he suddenly said coldly, yet he was still smiling. Her eyes went wide in shock and she was gritting her teeth the second after. “Are you criticizing me Shigure?” She asked in a low tone and Shigure stood silent, yet his eyes were showing her his real thoughts about the situation. She was starting to shiver from anger.

“I don’t have the choice I already told you!” she yelled and Shigure turned his head away. “We all have the choice.” He said coldly, sending a chill all along Akito’s back. Never before Shigure had treated her that way, it shocked her. “Why…Why are you saying that suddenly?!” she asked once the control of her body and her voice was back. Shigure barely looked at her, prefering to stare at the water of the pond. “Shigure! Answer me!” She pulled his shirt and only at this moment he has consented to look at her. His expression was so hard that she freezes under the shock.

“You really wonder? Really Akito?” he asked. His voice was low and controlled yet Akito could hear all the anger and resentment in it. Slowly she nodded, grapping the tissue of his shirt harder. She saw in his eyes that it irritated him even more and he took her wrist of the hand that was holding his clothes and pulled it on the grass. Akito hiccupped in shock. “I guess that it's alright for you to see me only during those few hours. Look like I don’t matter that much for you huh?” he said coldly. “Maybe I should do the same? What do you think Akito?” she wanted to cry out of fear.

“Maybe I should go? If I’m not that important.” He said threateningly and Akito was shivering, no, that was not what she wanted. Her breath hitched and it was all it needed to calm Shigure cold anger. He bowed his head and stared the grass. Akito was trying dear to not burst in tears at the mere thought of Shigure leaving her for good.

“Akito…Do you realize we won’t have any future if this continue?” he said more softly, but she did not say anything. “I want to take you out sometime out the night so we can eat in a fancy restaurant” he started and Akito wanted too. “I want to take you in holiday at Shiga. Visiting Hikone castle or wandering around Biwa lake together.” He said and Akito could imagine it, her hand in his and playing with him in the water. “And then, we could take the train until Nara and feed the deer” She nodded. She wanted to, she wanted it so much.

Shigure took her chin and lifted her head. “So…Why can’t we?” he asked softly and Akito pulled his hand away. Not answering. “Akito” he called and she felt like he was criticizing her again and she felt the need to defend herself. “You’re good at talking but you’re not better!” she said, as angry as he was a minute before.

“Ah?” he frowned, daring her to give him an example. “Talking about future and all. But then, why won’t you hug me? Aren’t we a couple? You claim to love me and each time I try to get close to you, you reject me! You think I wouldn’t notice??!” Shigure eyes went wide.

“At least it’s not my choice, me too I want to see you all the time! But you, what’s your excuse?!” She suddenly leant closer and he stood still, however his gaze was preventing her to go even nearer of him. She hated it. “Kissing is okay, but I can’t touch you? And after that you dare to lecture me!” she laughed wickedly “I should be the one wondering if you really care about me!” she was starting to say thing she didn’t mean, as if she was in a contest to see which one of them will have the last word. “For you, not seeing me is okay, but me I always wait for you! I always did! Can you claim the opposite uh?!”

Shigure fixed stubbornly the pond, frowning his eyebrows hard. Akito wanted to spill more of her venin, wanted to told him all the rancor she had in mind, so she continued. Continued to rant all the time she had to wait for him, during the fall when he wasn’t coming to see her and then she asked, who mattered the more for each other. After she said it all, panting from getting all of her anger out of her chest they both stood silent.

Suddenly Akito realized what she had done and she remembered a young Yuki threatening to leave her if she was too mean. Akito paled and tried to catch a sight of Shigure face. He was still looking at the distance with a deep frown and even though it was the middle of the hot, hot summer, Akito felt cold.

“So, we agree that we have no future?” Shigure terrible voice said and Akito had the impression that all the air had left her lungs. Her worse nightmare was becoming true. She urgently grabbed his shirt once more and Shigure looked back at her, she fixed his eyes with a with wretched expression. “N-No, we…We can make it work, with patience and time, may-maybe it will get better and I…And we could be together whenever we want…” she tried to say, desperately, but her tongue felt like sand and she was stuttering.

“Akito” he called but she was so scared to the idea of breaking up and never seeing him again that she did not notice the face he was doing and instead, she continued to talk, she did not want to hear him talk about breaking up. “Maybe if we call more often or send text or…”

“Akito.” He called once more but she was starting to panic, panting and holding back sob. “Please don’t leave me Shigure, I beg you.” She teared off, bending her body in half. Shigure took her by the shoulder. “Akito, look at me.” She shook her head, she was sure if she looked him, it would be over. “Akito!” he forced her to look at him and he studied her face a moment before wiping off a tear. “Really Akito, aren’t you crying a little too easily?” he said with a little grin and she sniffed.

“Who talked about leaving you.” He said softly. “No future…” she whispered, repeating his words and Shigure shook his head and sighed, framing her face with his hands. “Yeah…If we continue that way, right?” he answered in a gentle tone, the one he always used when he was telling her love words. “But we don’t want that, right?” he asked and she vividly nodded. “We will have to be patient and work a lot on it, right?” Akito frowned, she wasn’t a patient person and she did not know what kind of work she could do with him to improve their relationship. She couldn’t tell his existence to Ren; she would erase his memories of her and she will really be left alone.

Ah, he already talked about escaping, but there was no way, he was just joking and the zodiacs…They needed her, right? She was their god, she had to stay. The mere thought of leaving them was scaring Akito. Yet she wondered why did they mattered so much, in comparison to Shigure, what had they done for her? How many time left before the others zodiacs follow the example of the dog and the bird?

But, what about her responsibilities as the future chief of the Sohma clan? She internally sighed, ah, she will have to wait for a long time before holding a little bit of power. Until Ren’s death probably. Won’t it be too late? She felt bitter, the more time passed, the more she understood that nothing was holding her back at the Sohma’s estate. Yet…Something in her was screaming that she shouldn’t ever leave them, never leave their banquet, make it last for eternity. But, did she wanted to live for the rest of her life behind those walls?

She looked at Shigure and caressed his jaw. If she were to wish for eternity, it was by his side. He took her hand and put it on his cheek “I’ve made my choice Akito.” He said, bringing her back to the reality. She stroked his skin with her thumb. They both smiled. “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.” He said and Akito breath hitched, ah, she really loved him.

“Shigure…Please hug me.” His smirk became a sad smile and just leant to kiss her softly. At the end, he did not hug her, yet she could see in his eyes how much he desired it and Akito did not understand.

_‘If you want to hug me too…What’s holding you back?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, they're starting to fight and I feel like their relationship is more like in the manga? I hope it's not only an impression ;;;


	25. Chapter 24

Hatsuharu looked at the breakfast the nurse had brought him earlier, not a big fan of the taste, but he was glad to have something to eat. He had already finished all onigiri that Tohru had made for him and the fruits basket she had bought when she came to visit him with Yuki and Kyo. Haru was glad to have so many of people coming however, his most important one hadn’t come to see him yet. Well, there were nothing he could do, she was probably not even aware of him being here, she did not come in the summer house with them, and if nobody has told her about his assault…Plus, she disliked hospitals, bringing her here would put her under stress and he did not want her to be anguished. He heard a knock and saw then his two older cousins head.

“Ah, Shigure-nii, Hatori.” He said blandly, but his eyes showing gratitude. Shigure beamed joyfully and talked loudly only to be interrupted by Hatori frown. “This is a hospital, be quiet.” He said and sat next to Haru bed. “How do you feel?”

“I barely feel my legs.” He shrugged and Shigure went to the other side of the bed. “At least, you will be discharged next week, it will be better to be in your own bed.” He said joyfully and Haru nodded, nothing was as good as his own bed. Yet, he preferred Rin’s, the blanket was soaking in her scent and it was warmer. He sighed, he really wanted to see her but he couldn’t move. He wanted to curse the men who attacked him out of nowhere. Those bastards got him by behind and even before he could react or turn black, they had knocked it out and he awoke only when he had felt a huge pain in his legs before leaving him, yelling to go before ‘that ox could do anything!’ Good thing Hiro and Kisa have been near, the moment they found him crawling on the ground, Hiro had run for help.

“I preferred you would stay in the clinic for your legs rehabilitations.” Commented Hatori. But Ren decided that it was way too risky and ordered the ox back in his house. “It’s okay, I’m sure you will treat them better than the doctors here.” Said Haru before digging in his rice.

“They knew about the curse.” Said Haru, making the two others men's eyes widen surprise. “What did you say?” asked Hatori “It can't be possible, only the inside family is aware of the curse, Re-I made sure of it.” He said. Yet Hatsuharu shrugged. “They called me ‘that ox’ though.” He said and Hatori eyes went wide and the room became silent again.

“Maybe they were people from the inside?” said Shigure, breaking the silence, swirling an apple in his hands. “Who?” called a rough yet feminine voice from the door. Hatsuharu turned his head and blinked, confused.

“Rin…What are you doing here?” asked Haru in awe. She had a scowl on her face and he was sure that if Shigure and Hatori weren’t in the room, she would have yelled at him already. Everybody could feel how furious she was. She walked to the bed and eyed her boyfriend a moment before taking her attention back on her cousin. “Shigure-nii, who would do it?” she asked, once more. The man scratched his neck and looked at his friend. Hatori simply shook his head and Shigure had to face Isuzu anger alone.

“Well…Who you do think?” he said in shrug and Rin gritted her teeth. “Ren!” she whistled behind her teeth. Hatori called them out. “We can’t accuse anybody without proof.” He tried to calm the tension, scowling at Shigure for being at the origin of it.

“Hatori is right Rin.” Said Hatsuharu, taking gently her wrist. She violently pulled it off. “Of course it’s her! She hates us! She wants us to disappear! Since the beginning…” She shouted planting her nails in the heels of her hands. “I will…She will see…” she whispered and Hatsuharu scold her. “Don’t do anything stupid Rin” he said “She don’t deserve it, let her rot.”

“Hatsuharu is right, and it can have repercussion, on Akito or on-”

“As if I give a shit about Akito, I never saw his fucking face, he could be already dead that it wouldn’t change anything!” she screamed and Hatori looked stressfully at the door, she was too loud and nurses might come in to stop the racket. “Rin, don’t say that.” Cut Haru and they looked at each other in silence.

“Well, it’s better if we let you two alone right?” said cheerfully Shigure, already walking out of the room. Hatori hesitated a second before following him and leaving the lovers having their privacy, closing the door. “Hey Haa-san, let’s go for a smoke while waiting for Rin?” he offered, Hatori nodded, what did he have to lose?

They found a spot in the garden. They were both resting their back against the glass window. It has been a while since it was the two of them, since the catastrophic holiday, Hatori have been really busy with work and this morning was the only free shift he had since the two last weeks. It was strange, they used to pass all their mornings together “So, you’re going back to work directly after?” asked Shigure. “Think to take a break~” he beamed.

“Nobody has a free schedule like you have Shigure.” He dragged on his cig and made no comment when his friend started to chuckle.

“You’re going to see her today?” he asked then, switching to another conversation. Shigure hummed. “Well, yeah, it’s the only moment I can see her.” He smiled sourly. “We had an argument because of that, you know?” He sighed “She was scared I would break up with her because of that, it’s cute.” He laughed warmly. It was cute for the moment, but if she uses this card each time, Shigure will grow annoyed of it. They were going to stagnate and it wasn’t good.

“She probably has her reason to react that way.” Said Hatori, Shigure smirked. “What, you’re taking her defense?” he answered amazed and Hatori looked his cigarette helplessly, as if he wanted to say something. Shigure did not care, he looked up to the sky, it was going to rain today. “I told her that if we were going to meet only for a few hours per month, we won’t have any future, and you know what she said?”

“What?”

“That I had no right to complain because I won’t even hug her.” He chuckled, but it sounded sour, morose. Hatori looked aside and crashed his cig on the floor. “…Why don’t you try?” he finally answered “Hugging her.” He added cautiously. Shigure looked at him with big eyes. “Are you serious?” Hatori shrugged and turned his back. “Why not? After all you could be surprised.” He said. “I’m going back, I have to go to my next appointment.” He waved his hand and left his friend here.

* * *

Akito snuggled her face against the plush she just won at the UFO catcher; it was a red fox as big as her face. Shigure did not know how they ended up in an arcade but he did not regret. He hasn’t been in that kind of place since high school era, he missed it. It was nostalgic.

“You came here with Ayame?” asked Akito, staring the plush face. Shigure smirked, should he tell her it was the kind of place he took girls in to charm her before staying the night with? Should he try so he will see her reaction? Just by curiosity, just because he wondered if she would do a jealous, irritated and possessive face? Or should he take the risk to see her unhappy and yelling at him? He bent close over her ear.

“It’s the kind of place boys bring girls before going to love hotel” he grinned at her surprised expression; wide eyes and light pink blush on her cheeks, adorable. “didn’t you know?” he taunted and she nudged him. “Pervert.” She said, walking aside to play with another arcade game. Shigure blinked amazed, he expected her to snarl at him or to be green of jealousy, but instead she just saw through him. He smiled genuinely; she was starting to understand how he worked. He felt that they were somehow moving forward.

He followed her and put his hands on her waist. It was the only contact between the two of them even if he wished more. He was taller so he could see what she was doing from where he was. She was staring at stuffed hello kitty zodiacs collaborated toys. Shigure smirked at this “I did not know you loved plushies that much aki~ that’s adorable.” She turned her head over him and glared. “Whatever!” she clicked her tongue and walked toward the door without looking at him.

“let’s go, I want _dorayaki_.” She simply said, the head high and her stuffed fox in her arms. Shigure chuckled and followed. “this woman!” he said amazed before catching her and taking her hand in his. “I prefer _Takoyaki_, we should share?” he said. She frowned. “I want _dousha_.” She pouted and Shigure hummed. “Let’s do this” he said, lifting a finger high. “The first shop we see, we get food from here.” He said smugly. Akito gasped. “What, that’s unfair, you know the area better that I!”

“In war, we had to choose the best weapon~” he winked, she sighed and massaged her temple. “You’re worse than a kid sometime.”

“I know you love it” he beamed “I never say I didn’t” she muttered before turning her head away. However, Shigure could easily see her ear taking a reddish tone. Ah, Shigure had the urge to pull her by the wrist against him and kiss her until she had to beg for air. But he couldn’t, so instead he just tightened his hold on her hand.

He stopped and sniffed in the air. “Smell like French fries.” Akito frowned and sniffed too. “I smell nothing.”

“It’s because your nose is bad.” He said and pulled her to the fast food before she could argue. He continued to smell and recognized the smell of a Kentucky chicken. Look like none of them will get want they wanted to eat originally. It was alright, they will eat Takoyaki next time he promised himself.

“Wait, a fast food? Right now?!” she yelped and he was delighted, it was another thing they hadn’t done yet together. “Well, sadly we didn’t have the chance to eat our Christmas chicken, it’s the best occasion~” he sing-sang and entered in the fast food “Plus, it’s going to rain better to be safe, right?” Akito looked at the blue sky a few seconds with a confused expression before taking her attention back on the place that she eyed curiously, like a scared cat and Shigure eased her up with a simple pull of his hand. He ordered a buck for the both of them and they sat at a table toward the window. She studied the buck and took a fried chicken between her fingers.

“What’s that look? It isn’t that different from _karaage_ you know?” Akito scowled “It looks greasier…” she remarked and took a bite, unsure. Shigure chuckled and swallowed one he picked in one go. “Little princess is too used to luxury that she can’t even eat the food of poor?” he taunted, as a challenge and she fired up and pulled several fried nuggets in her mouth, defy in the eyes.

He chuckled when she started to eat more slowly, swallowing hardly. “Too much for you princess?” he smirked and she muttered a ‘fuck you’ between two nuggets before putting the chicken back in the bucket. Shigure took it and eat it quickly. By the time the rain had started to fall, she was laying her back on her chair and rubbing her stomach, moaning that she ate too much. “We’re never going here again…” she muttered between two angry noise. Shigure looked the spectacle with the bucket on his laps, eating it as if it was popcorn. “Haw, don’t say that, we still have to go for Christmas I told you.” He said cheerfully at her distaste.

She grunted and looked at her phone, she straightens her back and looked suddenly sad. Shigure did not need to look at his watch, it was time. He looked away, trying to not show his real feelings. “If you’re over, can we go? My friend just texted me.” She said, trying to sound neutral, almost disdainful. “All right, I'll walk you then.” He answered, rising up from his chair and walking to the door, Akito behind him. He opened the door only to receive a hard slap of wind and rain in his face. It was strong and Shigure shielded Akito with his body, walking next to her against the way of the wind.

“You okay?” He asked, glancing at her. The stuffed fox she was holding was already drenched, as both of them where under the rain. Why he forgot to take an umbrella, he knew it was going to rain. They were now running, trying to avoid uselessly the rain drops. They passed by a crossed path, rushing at the red light. Shigure pulled her in his run, she was falling behind, her stamina not following. “W-wait!” she panted but Shigure was too busy rushing to care.

He was too focused to get her out of the rain, too focused to rush, too focused, that he did not noticed her slid over the pavement. He did not notice her stretching her arms toward him, searching for support in her falling. By the time he had turned his head in her direction her arms were ready to surround his body.

He, who was so in hurry, was suddenly seeing the time slowing down. One, she had already her hand on his chest, she had a look of surprise on her face, Shigure found her adorable and thought it was a good sight to remember when they will separate. Two, the force in her fall pushed both of them against the wall of a store, he could not escape and she will learn his terrible secret. Three, he hoped that thank to him she will like the dogs more, maybe he could make her change her mind? Her hand had slid from his chest to his shoulder, he took a deep and anxious breath as he felt for the first and last time her soft and delicate frame against him. He closed his eyes at the impact, ready to heard the usual _‘pouf’ _before each transformation.

“Ah! Sorry!” She said urgently, out of breath “Why are you closing your eyes dummy?” she said in a worried and affectionate voice. He reopened his eyes again, was it a dream? No, the warmness of her body against his, her arms resting of each side of his shoulders, the way their noses were almost touching was so close, all of those were too real to be fake. He stared at her, unable to blink. He was sure he was seeing an apparition.

“Ah-It's your fault, I told you to wait!” She said, a scowl on her pretty, dollish face. She looked down on the pavement, as if searching for something, but Shigure did not care, she was in his arms and he was still human. “My fox!” she yelled, leaving his embrace to kneel down and pick up her stuffed toy. The lack of her between his arms was painfully making him aware of the lack of affection in his life and he needed Akito back against him and to never let her go again.

She stood up and studied the plush, a sad frown on her face. “it’s all dirty…” she said to herself, but Shigure couldn’t hear because there was a high-pitched noise echoing in his ears. He took her by the wrist and turned her toward him. “Shi-Shigure?” she called, unsure of that sudden change of behavior.

He looked at her, studied her body. She was a woman, he already had saw it multiple time, and that was the problem, because four women could embrace Shigure without him turning into a dog. The shy cursed of the tiger Kisa, the temperamental cursed of the boar Kagura, the loner cursed of the horse Isuzu and the imprisoned goddess _“Akito”_

“Yes?” she answered confused, fuck, wasn’t she aware of the turmoil she was causing inside him? He looked at her, as seeing her for the first time and he traced the shape of her face. Before him stood the girl he had chosen, the girl he had left. The person he had been dreaming of for years and the girl he had learnt to know. Ah, everything made sense now and all things Akito had said to him flashed in his mind. “_I don’t have the choice I already told you!”_ because if Ren found out, it would be all over, isn’t it? Because, they shouldn't have been able to meet each other to begin with, because Akito should be locked up in the main house. Fate was such an amazing thing, wasn’t it?

He wanted to laugh; this situation was too much. He has been seeing her for more than a year, and he never noticed she was the goddess he was bonded with. This though hasn’t even crossed his mind. He was really an idiot, wasn’t he? He pulled her in his embrace and wrapped his arms tight around her small body, he needed it like he needed air to survive. She too held him back and he felt like his heart was leaving his body when he sensed her frails fingers grasping the back of his shirt. He exhaled in delight before snuggling his nose in her hair; he was the dog who caught the missing sun.

“Hm…Shigure…” he moaned sweetly in his ear. He pressed her body even closer. “Shigure…The time…” she reminded him and he suddenly felt alerted. He refused to let the woman he fell in love with, the goddess he ran after for years, leaving him. No, not when he just reunited with her. He tightened his arms and he heard her gasp. “Shigure, I really have to go…” she said and he closed his eyes. “Please Akito…Just one minute.”

_Just one minute for all the time I dreamed to embrace you with all my might. Just one minute for all the time we already lost._

Akito said nothing and rested her cheek on his shoulder. Shigure could feel the fast beat of her heart against his chest, he was in the same state. Why hadn’t he realized earlier? If he did, he wouldn’t have his heart torn apart for months because he couldn’t choose between her and…her. Fuck, he hated thinking about all the time they lost because of it and how ridiculous the situation has been. And didn’t Akito noticed that he was the dog, didn’t she too feel their bond? He has been dreaming of her for years, wasn’t she the same?

Slowly he let her go and she sneezed cutely, like a baby panda. She looked at him. “I going to get a cold” she grunted, yet she let herself rest against him body. Ah, that’s true, she too wanted to be held by him. His love was not one-sided. Shigure put his chin on the top of her head and thought about all what happened during this year he passed with her. Akito was nothing of how he had imagined the god to be, actually, she was better, that’s why he had chosen her at the end. Sure, she was an impatient prick, she over-reacted before thinking and she got easily angry, yet, she had the most beautiful smile of all, she was curious and teasing. She has a strong character and she wouldn’t let people pull her in the mud, she was always improving, she was beautiful, charming, she was his as he was hers. He just loved her unconditionally. Shigure caressed her cheek before leaning and kissing her. It was the best, kissing her and hugging her tight against him. She shyly wrapped her arms around his nape and he deepened their kiss.

He remembered that it was raining the first time they had kissed. Just like today. He smiled against her lips before forcing hers open with his tongue. Her breath hitched and then he stole it away from her lungs, both of their body goose bumping from excitement. He made a throaty sound of delight when he felt her fingers slid on his scalp, gabbing a handful of hair, encouraging him to taste even more her mouth, teasing her sensitive lips with the tip of his tongue. They would have continued for hour if only the need of air and that killing-joy ringtone had not echoed. Why did she have to go?

They both panted when they separated and Shigure traced her lower lip with his thumb. She was ravishing with that drunken expression on her face. He caressed his nose against hers. “I have to answer…” she said breathlessly, Shigure made a hum, kissing her cheek. She had a soft laugh before pulling his face away “You distract me” she said, a grin on her lips and she answered the phone. “I’m coming…No, I’m alright” she frowned, her breath-taking smile disappeared. “I’m on my way, I told you, you worry too much!” Shigure took her free hand in his palm, squeezing gently her fingers to calm her down.

“I’m coming...” she said and hang up. She did not look at him but he know she was making a regretful face. Without a word, he walked her to the destination. From far he saw a branded car and he knew it was the one which came to bring back Akito to the mansion. She looked at the car and back to him. They must have looked like two pitiful and abandoned animals, drenched until the bones, yet they did not care. Akito pulled him by the collar and kissed him one last time and he held her. It felt so good to embrace somebody you love, so right.

“You took your time, but I appreciate it Shigure.” She said lowly before breaking off and walking away toward the parked car up there. From far he saw a man exiting the car, an umbrella in the hand. Shigure recognized Kureno. Did he know, about them? Was he able to see Shigure from the distance? He stood here, watching her going into the vehicle and then being drove away before turning his heel and walking back to the Sohma estate.

Now that she was gone, all the feeling of joy and excitement disappeared for cold anger and betrayal. Did Kureno know and he told him nothing? Who else did knowing about this without telling neither of them? Yuki? No, Yuki did not know, or else he wouldn’t have tried to change his mind when he announced his leaving of the zodiac. So…Nobody knew? Really?

_“…Why don’t you try? Hugging her… After all you could be surprised”_

Shigure stopped in his track, a deaf sound resounding in his ears _“...Haa-san”_

Hatori was aware and he told him nothing! He looked in front of him with a hard look, he needed to talk with his dear friend.

He walked at fast pace, resolute, into the Sohma estate, in direction to the doctor’s practice. He may have patients today, but Shigure did not give a fuck. He was ready to wait for the rest of the day to talk about Akito with his dear, dear, liar friend. For the first time, he did not knock at the door to announce his presence. He opened the door brutally, provoking a gasp from Hatori’s patient.

“Ah? Shigure-san! You scared me!” laughed heartfully Satsuki, her belly starting to get rounder as her pregnancy was progressing. “Shigure, what the hell?” said Hatori, removing his stethoscope. “You’re drenched, take a towel and wait outside” He sighed and apologized to Satsuki about it. “No, it’s alright, Shigure can stay, we were finished anyway!” she laughed sweetly, like any future mother would do, and stood from the examination table. She rubbed her belly gently and Hatori walked her to the exit, advising her to watch out for the weather and closed the door. He turned and eyed his friend.

Shigure was lazily drying his hair, staring the wall. Hatori exhaled and shook his head. “You put water everywhere.” Shigure smiled. “Ah, sorry I must smell like drenched dog haha!” he slid the towel on his shoulder. “I was with my adorable girlfriend and it had started to rain out of nowhere” he laughed and walked in direction of his friend when he saw him jolt, it was subtle yet Shigure could see it all, he knew he knew he knew. “I’ve made a great discover there haha!” he said cheerfully, masking his sourness. Hatori eyebrows twitched.

“Really…” Shigure looked down to his fingers. “What wasn’t my surprise when I didn’t transform when she fell in my arms.” Hatori averted his eyes. “Yeah…Very surprised…” he repeated, lower. He looked at his friend again. “So tell me…Since when do you know, Haa-san.” He was having one his twisted and dark smile. His voice held no light, only accusation, as his eyes. Well…Hatori knew it was going to end that way. He allowed himself to pick a cig. “You won’t tell me Haa-san?” Shigure tilted his head, fixing his friend as he was taking a seat. The doctor took a drag and exhaled the smoke, taking his time to choose his words.

“You remember when you bought her flowers?” he said and Shigure frowned. “It was in December” he laughed, but it sounded fake. Hatori knew since December and he never told him anything, worse, Shigure has not noticed? _Amazing_. “Yeah, I visit her the next morning and I recognized the bouquet.” Hatori smirked. “They don’t sell many camelia during winter, specially coming from the same flower shop.” Explained Hatori “It was the same ribbon.”

Shigure laughed bitterly before falling silent and palming his face. “Why you didn’t tell me?” he asked in a tired voice. “I wanted to, the moment I realized it was your damned flowers, I just wanted to shout at you. Really” he chuckled aimlessly. “But when I saw Ren destroying the bouquet and Akito devasted face, I was scared of the consequences.” Hatori remembered Akito hugging what was resting of the bouquet. It was a pitiful sight and he just wanted to never saw her in that state ever again.

“Are you kidding me?” he busted out. “Haa-san, how stupid do you think I am really?” he was too busy laughing about the situation to feel outraged. Do no misunderstand, he was angry, really angry at Hatori for hiding him the true identity of Akito, this feeling of treason was the worst. “Shigure, I know if I had told you, you would have run to the main house or you would have tried to take her away and she don’t need it.” He tried to explain only to be interrupted by Shigure’s laugh.

“So let her stay here and be beaten by Ren! Wow, I’m amazed by your ethic as a doctor Hatori!” The doctor grimaced. “Shigure you know that is not that easy!” he talked back, his friend throwing an angry glare. “Ren have every power here and she would find Akito in no time or she would take it on the others cursed and their family!” He stood up. “Do you assume the responsibilities of what could happens to Kisa or Hiro? You already saw was she was able to do, you saw Hatsuharu at hospital!” 

“So instead you let her being abused by Ren?” he gritted his teeth. “It…” Hatori looked down. “It was something that happened when I was not watching…Know that Kureno and I are trying our best.”

“Oh, I saw that.” Shigure crossed his arms, falling back on his joyful mask. “And we saw how great you two are at it.”

“What’s your solution then Shigure? You want to take her away right? But you know well that she won’t accept.” Shigure opened his mouth to protest and then he remembered that time at the cat café when she cried. She was talking about the zodiacs at this moment, wasn’t she? Ah, he felt a headache coming. He hid his face between his hand and breathed in.

“Who else know?” he asked, changing the subject. “Ayame” answered Hatori. “I told him” he said truthfully.

“What? Aaya? You told Aaya but not me, the main concerned?” Shigure said, frankly annoyed. “Well, Ayame had noticed that he was feeling attracted by her…Ah! No in this sense” he quickly added, noticing Shigure eyes. The dog put his fingers under his chin, that’s true that Ayame that been strange the day he had took Akito in his shop, making her his special tea, offering the dress… “He always dreamed of dressing her up.” He said sweetly. When she was born, the three of them have been aiming to makes her happy in the future. Ayame pictured all the clothes he would sew for her, Hatori wanted to makes sure she would never end sick and promised to watch her health in the future and Shigure wanted to become her shadow, the man that would be always by her side. At the end, Ayame became a couturier, Hatori a doctor and Shigure was going out with her. Yet, none of them succeeded to makes her happy.

“Shigure…You will tell her?” asked Hatori “Please, remember that everyone life will depends of your choice.” He added and Shigure sighed. He wondered if he wasn’t better to not know the truth.

* * *

Rin walked in direction of Ren’s office. To be honest, she was scared. Ren never harmed her directly but she knows about the rumors and the whispers coming from the inside family. Their voices were like parasites echoing in Isuzu’s head over and over again. She scratched her scalp anxiously; they were coming back. She felt like throwing up, she wanted to leave, she wanted to go back in her room and in the warmness of her bed, here, she won’t be abandoned, she won’t be harmed. She just needed to turn her heels and leave. Just to-

Hatsuharu sweet and comforting eyes appeared in her mind, chasing the bad words creeping in her head, like light erasing the shadow. She fisted her hands, gathering courage. She had to face Ren so she will protect Haru in the future. This won’t happen ever again, not under her watch. She walked to the shoji doors and knocked, waiting for Ren mellow voice to allow her in.

“If it isn’t Isuzu-chan. It has been a while, you grow up so much.” She said, gesturing her hand. Isuzu stood by the door. “I wish I could see you more often, too bad we can’t, right?” she smiled and Rin turned her head away. She didn’t give a damn about this little talk Ren was doing, she was here for one reason and she won’t leave before having answer.

“Hatsuharu is in hospital! He has been attacked!” she said, direct. Ren hid a smile behind her hand. “Really, that’s a shame to hear? How it happened?” she said, failing to use her innocent tone. Isuzu snapped and clapped her palm on the table furiously. “I told you he has been attacked! By people of the inside family!”

“Here, Isuzu-chan, aren’t you making assumption, it’s serious.” She answered mealy and Rin gritted her teeth. “They called him ‘ox’! Only the inside family know about the curse!” she yelled and Ren stood up, walking to the window. “Isuzu-chan, you should go home…” she took a low tone, and irritated Rin even more. “I won’t go home until you tell me what happened! You know who is behind this! Tell me!”

“Isuzu, you won’t like it…” she said gently. “Really…You should go home…” Rin was starting to get really furious. “Just tell me!” she said, almost begged. She needed to know so she will avenge Hatsuharu and protect him. “My dear…” Ren shook her head. “You see, Akito learnt about your relation with Hatsuharu and he have been…furious.”

Rin eyes widened. What, it was her god who ordered those people to hurt Haru? Because of her. “He said that he couldn’t bear the idea of his zodiacs acting that way, so he took measure…I tried to resonate him, but he wouldn’t hear.”

“That’s…Why would Akito do that.” Said Isuzu, shocked. “I don’t understand…Akito is a capricious god, only thinking about himself…I wish he could learn…” Rin stepped back slowly, she couldn’t believe it, she had deceived her god and she felt sick. It was wrong and it was her fault.

“Isuzu, it’s not your fault.” Said gently Ren, taking her hand between hers. “It’s all Akito fault, he is the bad one, you and Hatsuharu just love each other, and he tried to separate you, he is the worst!” she said, wiping a tear that Rin hadn’t noticed pouring. “It’s all Akito fault…”

“Yes…It’s his fault.” She repeated, her eyes in the emptiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-Dousha is red bean paste, sugarish and used in japanese/chinese/korean patisserie  
2-KFC Christmas; eating a KFC food is a kind of custom in japan; plus Chritsmas is more a couple celebration than family's. 
> 
> AAAAH FINALLY SHIGURE KNOW??? What's going to happen? We all wonder. (Let's be honest, you all knew it was going to happen by accident haha)


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning /!\ PORN /!\

Akito would have been naked if it wasn’t for the towel around her body. She was hesitating about which lingerie set to wear today. Today, she decided to be daring enough to wear female wear and underwear. She already prepared the blue dress that Shigure’s friend gave her when she has gone in his store, it was here laying in the chair. But now she was hesitating, the white and cute panty with ruffle or the black lingerie with lace. She wanted to ask Kureno, but the last time she tried, he blushed and rushed out of the room before giving her any answer.

Clicking her tongue and because she had to make a choice, she took the black lace set and threw her towel on the floor. She really wanted to makes Shigure aware that she was a woman. She wanted him to desire her, she wanted to do it and she refused to ask. It was too embarrassing, shaming and she know how he will tease her and she will make a fool of herself because he will always find the way to push her trigger button. This man must really enjoy it. So instead, she decided to makes him understand what she wanted without saying anything. Shigure was a writer, he could manage to understand sub-texts, wasn’t he?

She slid in her dress and attached the ribbon and then she walked across the hallway, ready to eat her meal. Lately, the food tasted better. Kureno told her it’s because Ren had hired a new cooker, for the first time in years, Akito have been grateful to her. Though, the meal were always pre-heated, it was better than the bland rice and tasteless fish. She sat on her zabuton with unhidden joy. Kureno smiled and stroked her head like a big brother would do by seeing his little sister happiness.

“This robe is pretty, when did you get it?” he asked, serving her curry on her plate. Akito dug in it without waiting for Kureno to be served. “Hm, I bought in April, but I never got the occasion to wear it before.” She said. “Pretty, right?” she added, proudly rising her chin, as if she was the one who sew it. Kureno smiled at the sight, he was so, so glad to see Akito embracing her body and happiness. He hoped that Ren would never know about the dresses in her closet.

The first time Kureno saw her in a dress, it was the day she has gone to the cat café. He was really surprised when he saw the girl coming back in the car wearing a dress instead of the pants and shirt she had been wearing before leaving. He had wanted to ask her where she did get that, but she has just snarled and refused to talk for the rest of the day until diner where she asked him on the verge of tears if she was unneeded by the zodiacs. Kureno has took her in his arms and cradled her until she stopped crying. She has felt better the next morning. But well, this happened two months ago.

“Yes, you are adorable!” he finally answered, taking a spoon of food. He really wished Ren could let Akito be herself instead of wounding her. Kureno knew that Ren was just cruel to her daughter. Forcing her to live as a man even when nobody was watching. Kureno just couldn’t understand what was happening in that woman’s mind and why she was hating so much Akito.

The girl served herself another plate of curry and Kureno was so happy that little Honda girl started to work here. He just hoped this won’t be a trouble for her studies at high school. The poor girl had to wake up early to prepare the food the morning and then going back to Kazuma’s dojo to prepare the boys breakfast. Kureno was amazed, this girl was more than capable. He had the chance to talk with her she was really a nice and courageous girl. “it’s good right?” he asked to Akito and she just nodded, spoon in the mouth.

“You know the girl who made it, it’s Tohru Honda?” Akito blinked, this name was familiar. “The one who lives with Yuki?”

“Exactly. Isn’t that incredible, being able of doing all of that?” he said, showing the amazement he felt about the girl. Akito frowned and pushed her plate away before leaving the table. “I’m not hungry anymore, I’ll be in my room, tell me when we go.” She said, walking away and leaving a confused Kureno alone.

* * *

He has been really affectionate the past weeks and she was delighted. He never explained her why he used to be so cold with her before that rain day. No, cold wasn’t the word, he had always been trying to charm her with words and kisses, caresses but before he had never pulled her against his body with all his might. Before there was always a space between them that Akito hated more than anything. Now that she has tasted the warmness of his strong arms enveloping her, she felt even more angry at him to not have done it before. It felt so good, it was here she belonged to.

Before, he was only holding her hand when they were walking. She used to be really glad at the time, don’t misunderstood her, but having it resting on her waist instead felt better. It was like he was telling that she was his and she had the impression of being his world, she was so happy. Was that normal to feel that way? The joy she had each time she was putting her head on his shoulder while talking and then slowly slid it on his chest to listen his heartbeat was so addictive. And he would each time pull her closer to him. Each time, she snuggled her nose to his neck, inhaling his scent. She wished to never leave it, she felt protected and she was falling more and more in love each time he was hugging her.

She hoped he will understand she was now craving for more. She dressed up just for him today. Even if he already saw her and know how she looks like in this dress, she hoped he was liking the effort and was understanding what she wanted him to do with her, she hated spelling things for people. They needed to understand directly, it pissed her very much that Shigure did not want to bend under that rule. Yet, maybe it’s one of the reasons that caused her to fall in love with him? Who know?

Right now, they were walking in the city, he had wrapped his arm around her waist and she had hers around his back, people were looking at them but she didn’t care about Japanese etiquette. “Where should we go~” he mused playfully, putting his fingers under his chin in ponder. Akito said nothing but really strongly thinking about going in his house, so they could be alone with nobody to bother them, so they could enjoy each other. She blushed at the thought. She, before who did not care about thing like sex, was now desiring him. She had dreams, sometime when she was sleeping, sometime when she was awake, where Shigure would kiss all her inches of her skin and caress her in places he never touched before. She wanted him to show his whole body, she wanted him to show her his vulnerability so she could show hers too. So, they could be the same, equal. Was she asking for too much?

“No idea, Aki?” he asked, pulling her closer to let a group of young people walking pass. She frowned out of habit and watched them walk away, they didn’t even notice them. “No, no idea…” she answered absently. “Look like it’s gonna rain today too, we should go somewhere for the rest of the afternoon, shall we?” he said looking at her with a smirk on his lips. She pouted. “Yeah, I guess…” she said, looking away. Will he get it? She dared a look in his direction, blush on the cheeks. He was looking at her with an indecipherable expression, she gulped, had he finally understood?

He slowly bent down to her ear “Akito, I have to tell you something.” Akito’s heart missed a beat and she gulped, she looked at him with an expectant face. Shigure expression was so serious and he looked so handsome, he was frowning, staring her with intensity. Ah, she just wanted to take him by the collar and ravage his mouth with her tongue, make him soak with her smell, leaving mark all along his body, kissing, sucking, biting, scratching. Oh god, she hoped she wasn’t showing how much she desired him, she didn’t want to be too obvious.

“Should we try to get ramen? I’m craving it!” he said joyfully, straightening back and a finger in the air, a big silly smile on the figure. The moment passed and Akito became exasperated, fuck, why did she expect him to understand, he was so stupid, unless he was doing it in purpose, he was that kind of person, always teasing her. _Aah!_ So annoying. She humphed and sulked, removing his hand from her waist and walking away, her head high. She heard him whine from behind, rushing to catch her. It wasn’t hard, she was smaller and her steps matched her height.

“What? Akito-chan don’t like noodle?!” he said with over-dramatized shock, using that stupid tone that made her want to strangle him. She glared at him, crossing her arms. “I don’t hate noodle…” she grunted. She wasn’t against eating some, when she was with him, everything tasted better, but she preferred to die than to acknowledge it. “Then, why is Akito-chan so angry?”

“I’m not angry.” She lied, avoiding his eyes. He chuckled and tapped his index on the wrinkle between her two eyebrows. “Really, so what’s here? Hmm?” he tilted his head, a knowing smile on his lips, she pulled it away. “Nothing to see, let go.” She grunted again, continuing her track. Shigure called her. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t know right?” he said with a meaningful smirk, ah, he knows what she wanted but he was playing deaf. She wanted to yell at him when he was doing it. She scowled, puffing her cheek while bowing her head.

“So, tell me, do you want something?” he asked, facing her, they were so close that her forehead was brushing his chest. She hated it, she was feeling like a little child, as if she was unreasonable. It was awful. She tensed her shoulder so she won’t scream at him, she was so frustrated that he was playing with her that way. As she was looking away, she noticed a salary man and a high schooler exiting a love hotel. She ignored the two people who were obviously doing compensated dating to stare the place they came out. If Shigure were to take her in, they would…

She must have been really obvious because she heard him chuckle. “Wha-what?” she said, her cheeks red from embarrassment. “Why are you laughing?!” she exclaimed, scared that he saw through her. Argh! Who she was kidding, of course he saw through her. Damn it all, she had better time to assume than to try to hide her desire. “Tell me, wanna go in?” he finally said and Akito breath hitched. _Yes._

She looked at him directly in his eyes and took him by the collar, Shigure eyes widened as she forced him to bend down to her level. She frowned her eyebrows so hard and she screamed in his ear “Damn right I wanna go in!” Shigure smiled at her amazed and sneered. He took her hand and pulled her in direction of the love hotel. “Alright, let’s do it!”

* * *

Once they paid the room for the next hours, Shigure had left into the bathroom. He had proposed Akito to go first but she refused, saying she will go after him. She walked around the room, watching everything that it was composed of, her eyes drifted from the condoms laying on the bedside table to the cupboard next to it. She opened it absently before frowning when she recognized the pink toy as a vibrator, _too soon_. She closed it immediately and turned around. It was a luxurious room without a doubt and it was clean, as proved the stainless white blanket. She put her hand on and let it slid on it as she walked to the fridge. It was soft and she won’t mind being fucked on it.

She took a bottle of ice black tea and fall on the bed. She saw a remote control next to the condoms and turned on the TV. She expected to see a porn, but it ended up to be a political discourse with one of the members of the lower house of the diet debating with a member of the opposite side. She looked a moment at the TV, stunned. She wondered what kind of people had rented the room before she and Shigure but she quickly chased away the thought, not wanting to imagine that those people have done in this room. That was a real turn off, nope.

She clicked her tongue and zapped the TV for some music channel to set on background and she rolled unto the bed. Ah, she could fell asleep in. Her futon was good quality, but it was the first time she was on a mattress. Bored, she started to search into the drawer of the bedside table and got out a menu. She scoffed; did they really have a cooker in this hotel? Damn, no wonder why the prices were high. She had to hid it quick before Shigure put his hand on it and call for ramen. Just imagining him slurping his noodle when she will be coming out of the bath annoyed her beyond limit, because she knew he was capable to do it. She put it back in the drawer when she heard she bathroom’s door click.

Shigure walked out of the bathroom with a white bathrobe, a towel on his shoulder and his hair were wet from the shower, Akito could smell from where she was the hotel’s shampoo he has used. “Bath’s free~” he said cheerfully and Akito straighten her back from the bed and stared a moment. His bathrobe was letting her see his chest, or at least, more than she was used to. He was always wearing a shirt with only one button undone. She felt a rising desire to slid her hand into the opening of the bathrobe and to touch his bare chest.

“Akito, is such a perverse, staring me like that, I could get the wrong idea” he whined like a virgin, hiding his body as if he was some girl in a porn and taking his silly voice. She clicked her tongue, rolling her eyes and rose up from the bed. “It’s a love hotel, what do you expect” she grunted as she passed next to him and slammed the bathroom door behind her when she heard him laugh. She studied the room and looked to the basket where Shigure had left his own clothes. Her blue dress had quickly met his vest as her laced panty and bra.

She showered quickly and jumped in the warm bath. Shigure had put a lot of bubble in the water and she was drowning in it. The bubbles were going on her hair and she tried to chase them away in a move of the hand, but instead they all flight around and she puffed, giving up and drowning her head in the water. Maybe she hasn’t noticed, but all the bubbles eased the anxiety she was feeling since she entered in the room and without noticing, she started to play with it. She blown and watched them fly with a smile almost unnoticeable. She stood out of the bath and started to dry herself once she felt she was clean enough.

Her hair dried quickly with her pixie cut, she just had to turn on the hair-drier as she let her body dry by itself, a towel around her body. When she finished, she let the towel slid down to the floor and studied her body in the mirror, as she did before she ate today’s lunch, déjà-vu. She was glad, she didn’t have any mark on her body and lately, she gained some pound. Since she stopped months ago binding her chest, she felt like it showed a little bit of form, though, the boobs were still very small. She touched them, trying to force them bigger, moving them in different angle, but without success. She scowled and turned her back to the mirror to put her underwear. At least, the bra will give her breasts a little consistence. She looked herself at the mirror again and smiled, finally satisfied and took the bathrobe hung on the wall and put it before walking out of the room, mimicking her boyfriend.

Shigure was laying on the bed, reading a book. He had turned off the TV. He lifted his head of the book and beamed. “Oh, Aki! Have you seen? They have a cooker, how about we command some food after?” he laughed silly, putting his book aside. Akito watched him and then get on the top of him, sitting brutally on his laps, making the bed creaks. He has stopped laughing, but he still had his smirk on his lips, looking at her with delight and slid his hand in her bathrobe to let it rest on her leg. His look suddenly became grave. “Akito…I have something to tell you.”

Akito eyes narrowed, really, right now? What does he wanted to say? It better be important. “It’s about you…Your family is-”

“Who cares, It’s not important.” She interrupted, frustrated. She did not want to talk about the Sohma, not when it was only the both of them. “Akito, listen to me.” He chuckled but his smile was serious. “No, I don’t care. Don’t talk about it- ever!” she said removing her bathrobe and throwing on the floor. She looked directly at him, frowning her eyebrows so she could hide her nervousness. Shigure stood silent and looked at her before straightening up, sliding his own bathrobe off his shoulders and sticking his naked chest against hers. His hand that was on her leg was now on the little of her back and held it still. He put his nose against hers, the closeness of their faces aroused her, she unconsciously put her arms around his nape. “Alright” he whispered warmly, his hot breath teasing her lips before kissing it.

Her hips bucked as she felt his tongue ravishing her mouth, she moaned between sloppy kisses, closing her eyes and wriggling against him. That fucker knew how to use his damned tongue, it let her gasping for air. He licked one last time her lips before downing his head on her neck, leaving wet kisses that made her shiver along her skin. She passed her fingers in his hair and fisting it up, forcing him to look at her. He had a cocky smile that she tried to kiss away. He chuckled and slid his hands on her waist, rubbing her skin up and down and put his face in the corsage of her bra, inhaling the scent.

“Hm, I wonder where you get those.” He said licking her throat, sliding curious hand under the bra while the other unhook it. She whined, trying to keep the bra still. Her breasts were so small she didn’t want him to notice it. Shigure chuckled, looking at her through his hair bangs. Her breath hitched and she felt goosebumps all over her body. Slowly, she let him remove the bra and saw him taking one of her nipples in mouth, his eyes still fixing hers and he grinned, making her blush. She felt like warmness forming in her belly and she took his hand that was on his hip to put it on her other breast, asking him to massage it.

“Hey, you didn’t answer me” he said, before biting in the soft skin of her shoulder, she moaned painfully and scratched his forearm as a revenge and pressed her groin on his crotch, he was already so hard. “Why are you asking that?” she said between hushed pants, continuing to wriggle on him. Shigure groaned against her skin and she lifted her so he could suck the rest of her body. “Hm...I’m curious, it’s the friend you’re living with?” he took a breast in his hand and started sucking it. “Mm…No…” she answered, scratching his scalp and caressing his well-built back with her other hand. Sliding a finger all along his spine, she heard him hiss in delight.

“It’s…one of my cousins who bought it.” She explained dizzily. Her mind was far away, like on a little cloud. Shigure was taking her high, high, high. “He…He is a doctor…” she said breathlessly, her head falling backward when she felt his hand touching her buttock. Why was she telling him this already? Was it important? Ah, she couldn’t tell, all she had in mind was Shigure’s hands on her, Shigure’s tongue on her skin. She couldn’t even recall what he was saying to her right now. That she was incredible? Ah, maybe? She wasn’t sure. 

She whistled at the sensation of his warm breath going down, leaving trace of saliva that made her shive all along her belly until arriving to her panty. She saw him lick his upper lip before putting his open mouth on the black tissue. She cried in surprise at this. Her only experience was Kureno and he had never done that with her, it was calling foreplay, wasn’t it? True she read stuff about preliminaries and sex play, but it was very from theory. She put her hand on her mouth to suppress a shameful moan and she gripped his head, keeping him still a few seconds before shoving Shigure down on the bed.

She smiled cockily at his dumbfounded face before bending down and framing his face with her hands and catching his mouth with hers. Before he could wrap his arms around her body and rolling her over under him, she straightened back. She bit her lip, enjoying watching his muscular chest. Shigure smirked “like what you see?” he said in a knowing tone and he tilted his head charmingly “Somebody is eager huh?” he teased. Akito clawed at his left chest, provoking a stifle laugh. She downed again and licked the place where she just scratched. He raspy hummed, letting his head rest on the pillow and closing his eyes. Akito looked at him through her hair-bang, he was panting, his chest rising up and down and she put her annoying hair lock behind her ear and kissed his shoulder while letting her hand venture downward. She let a mark-kiss on his chest before teasing his nip with her teeth.

Shigure put him hand on her head as she was continuing to kiss and bite his skin, encouraging her to continue. She didn’t know what she was doing, her body was moving on its own. She scratched the mane of his crotch before taking in hand his dick, earning a groan from him. She shifted her position, looking at his cock and moving her hand up and down. He straightened up, adding his own hand on hers, guiding her movement. Akito was mesmerized by the sight and she gulped. Without noticing, Shigure had stick his forehead against hers and she heard him swore in his breath. It was at this moment that she looked at his face, he was red and sweaty and frowning, his eyes closed. With her free hand she caressed cheek and he lazily opened his eyes to look at her. He had the same expression of a drunkard and Akito was that she was making the same face.

Shigure removed his hand that was laying on his dick and put it on her waist. She yelped when Shigure forcefully inversed their position, she felt like a fragile doll when her whole body bounced on the bed. She didn’t have the time to realize what was happening that she had his tongue in mouth and both his hands on her breasts, squeezing them. She moaned and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, begging for more and more.

“Here?” he teased the place with the tip on his tongue and Akito madly nodded, panting and moaning. He licked her all over while his hands wandered in the lowest part of her body before sliding into her black laced panty. She curled her toes in reaction, parting her legs to give him a better access, moaning soundly when he pressed his thumb on her clit. She looked at him through her half-closed eyes and shivered, aroused by the way he was looking at her. He removed the underwear and threw it behind him without looking, his eyed too occupied at watching her open and wet cunt. He licked his lips in a way that reminded Akito of a dog when seeing a piece of meat on the table, she gulped and tilted her head on the pillow, staring each one of his moves.

He teased her with his thumb, rubbing up and down her cunt before sliding two fingers in without any warning. She moaned behind her closed lips and arched her back when Shigure bend his fingers in her while pressing again on her clit. Her legs moved on their owns will in pleasure. As he did earlier, she put her fingers on her pussy and started to rub the same place she usually rub when she’s alone in her room at night and thinking of him. While he was rubbing her inner walls with his fingers, she was stroking her clit harder and harder, her breath panting and she moaned when he bent down to kiss her drenched face. She moved her hand away from her groin and caressed his cheek. He took her by the wrist and put the fingers in his mouth, licking it. She absently caressed his cheek with her free hand as he was kissing the other hand. “You like it uh…Licking?” she said breathlessly in a blissing smile.

“I guess it’s my inner dog.” He answered in a chuckle, smirking at her before leaving the hand to kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her chin before hiding his nose in her neck. He started to rub himself against her and she groaned in pleasure, opening her legs even more and wrapping her arms around his head. He was so hard and she wanted him to put his dick in her and fuck her roughly. Ah, she wanted him right now. Shigure shifted again to kiss her and she held him tight.

“-Gure, condom” She said hurriedly between the kisses “Now” she moaned, pressing him to do and he lifted himself, balancing on his elbow, his other hand searching for one of the condoms on the table next to the bed and lubricant samples left by the love hotel staff. He put himself on his knees, opening the condom. Akito being the impatient prick that she was, couldn’t wait and she rubbed her pussy with two fingers while watching him putting the rubber on him and the lubricant, stroking himself and the fluid on his dick.

He removed her hand from her groin and put his on each part of her waist. Watching Shigure positioning himself against her, she slid her hands all along his arms to his shoulders and planted her nails in his skin when he entered her suddenly. She gasped at the roughness, arching her back and shaking her head on the pillow. Shigure stood still, holding her waist so hardly and she will be sure there will be marks later. She wanted him to move yet he was staying still, looking at her with his dick stuck deep in.

“Shigure, please!” she said frustrated between gasp, she wanted him to fuck her hard and quick, so why was he so slow now. He tilted his head, a sensual smile on the lips and lifted one of her heels, kissing her ankle and her calf before letting the back of her knee rest on his shoulder. “What?” he smirked. “You want something?” he asked, knowing well that she just wanted him to make a mess of her. She slid her hand down and scratched his belly, making him hiss in delight at the three bloody and long marks along his skin, a satisfied grin on his red face. She moaned, frustrated, her eyes starting to get wet from having too much sensation in her body and he just wasn’t giving her what she wanted. She wasn’t used to it, feeling that good and it showed and she craved for more.

She tried to wriggle her hips but Shigure held her still and she moaned. He was loving it, to have the control on her body. “Here, here, what’s happening, you want something?” he said in a teasing tone, finally thrusting but in a such slow pace that frustrated Akito even more. She hated how he could keep his cool when she was completely undone and begging under him. Gritting her teeth, she started to rub her pussy, if Shigure was unable to pleasure her when asked, she better do it herself. She just had the time to get herself off that he removed his hands from her waist and leg to grab her two writs and pine them down, preventing her to touch herself. Akito sobbed.

“Just fuck me already!!” she yelled, her eyes wet and she saw his grey pupils getting darker and felt his skin shudder. His pace changed brutally and he bucked deep in her that she arched again, bending her head back. Yes, yes, that’s how she wanted it, hard and deep. She moaned in delight, a blissful expression on her face. He was now merciless and rough, he let her wrists go to put his hands on her buttocks, squeezing the soft skin and allowed herself to put hers in his hair, fisting it. He groaned and put apart her legs wider before downing his body right on her, sticking their chests together. 

She slid her hands behind his back, clawing at it, leaving marks of her nails all along his spine. “Ah, fuck!” he said against her neck, thrusting between her thighs like a madman. She enveloped her legs around his waist, wanting him deeper. She remembered one year ago when she said that sex felt bad and painful. Oh god, how wrong she has been.

Shigure slid his arms around her body and thrusted deep, tightening his arms around her that she felt he could break her bone when he came in her. He moaned against her breast, hiding his orgasm-face and she whined frustrated. She wanted to see; it was unfair. She didn’t have the time to complain that Shigure straightened and continued to move, rubbing his finger on her clit, focalizing to make her come. She whined, putting her hand on her mouth to muffle her scream when she came in a spam, her pussy clamping and pulsing. He retired himself and removed the rubber, tied it and threw it in the trash before falling on the bed, next to her.

She put her hand on her forehead, panting and soaked in sweat. She moaned, still sensitive from her previous orgasm when he pulled her to him, she nonetheless moved her fingers through his hair, showing him a pleased expression that he mimicked. He took a look at his watch. “Hm…We still have an hour, shall we do it again?” he proposed cockily, putting his chin on his palm. Akito chuckled and pulled him down to smack his lips, ready for another round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOH MY GOD IVE DONE IT??? The Akigure smut !!  
(oddly, I liked writting it? Wonder why -people following me on twitter know)  
I hope you liked it or at least find it hot?? Please tell me in comment aaah  
Also, love hotels are underrated in fanfic :(


	27. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas!! To celebrate this, I update two chapters today !! Please enjoy ♥

It was a warm morning for the season. It was good enough to allow Hatori to smoke at the porch of his practice. When was the last time he had a moment for himself to take a cig? Lately he was really taken with Hiro’s mother, preparing the birth for the young Hinata have been though, but he did it. The good thing that since all the zodiacs were already born, nobody was stressed about having a baby animal, not that Hiro’s mother minded. She was understanding and even with the family look on her and her son, she and her husband have been good parents. Patients, devoted and adoring their son. Hatori had learnt to not care about his owns, after his father death, he decided it wasn’t his business anymore.

He crushed his cig on the ground with the heel of his shoe and walked back in his practice. He took a look at his watch, wondering if Shigure will come this morning and then remembering he hasn’t done this for a long time now. No need to explain that the man has sulked when Hatori explained he already knew that the girl he was seeing was Akito and he couldn’t get pissed at Shigure for being angry at him. It was fair. However, when Shigure came back the next Wednesday and sprawled on his desk, Hatori understood that Shigure hasn’t being able to tell the truth to Akito.

“Haa-san, it’s hard to broach the subject, and each time I try, she changes the conversation.” He whined, rubbing his face against the table. Hatori has smiled in sympathy and rubbed his back. “She wants to have only good times with you.” He said and Shigure shook his head. “Of course, me too, but couple work on mutual trusts and help.” He said, suddenly calm, contrasting with his previous behavior. “Lover must here for each other, for the best as for the worst.” Hatori has wanted to call him a hypocrite, knowing that Shigure would still be hiding her the curse if she hadn’t fell in his arms.

It has been one month now and even if he wasn’t seeing Shigure as much as before because of his work, he was more or less updated about how his relationship with Akito was going. When Hatori has examined her health last week, he knew that the red spots all around her collar were not from mosquitoes like she was claiming nor from Kureno’s as were whispering the maids. Hatori just hoped that Ren would let the maids gossip slide and don’t care about Akito being sexually active. At least, Kureno living with her mean for those people that he was only man Akito could do it with since she was force to live indoor cleared any suspicions about her going out. Ah, if they knew.

Hatori was taking a file out of his shelf when he heard a knock. He walked to his door with precautious step and slip it open only to be welcomed by Shigure shinny smile. “Hey! Haa-san, it has been a while!” he said merrily, inviting himself in before Hatori could throw him out, and walked into the room in hurry “I tried to come yesterday, but you weren’t here!” he whined. “I’ve been busy in work, at the opposite of certain people.” He said. “Yeah! I heard, Satsuki-chan birth has gone well right~? I give her and Hii-kun my congratulation!” he said, falling on the chair and putting a magazine he had under his arm on the table. “Isn’t Hinata so cute?” he said with a big smile.

“Sure she is, like all babies.” Hatori said, frowning at the magazine and sat at his chair. “I guess I shall give you my congratulation too, Shigure.” He said, his voice showing not an ounce of delight coming with a congratulation. “But next time you have your sweet time with Akito, try to not left marks in visible place. The servants in the main house are all talking about it.” Shigure strategically looked aside. “Well, they all think it’s Kureno who made those.” Shigure pouted in reaction. “And what does she say?”

“That’s it’s mosquitoes.” Shigure burst out. “What, with this cold?” he said between laugh. “Don’t she know her season?” he added and Hatori chuckled too. “Please, don’t tease her about it Shigure.” He gently warned. “I can’t promise anything Haa-san~” he replied. “By the way, I shall thank you.” He said with a pleased smile and his eyes shut. Hatori frowned his eyebrow. “About?”

“Her undies, the black laces were a really good choice! It smashed with her skin it was perfect! And you know, she marks so easily, I just needed to-”

“One more word Shigure, one more word and I’ll make sure that you will never ever see her again.” He interrupted, feeling the uneasiness and anger he had felt that time when he was in that store coming back. Shigure shrugged, happy of this little act. Hatori tried to change the conversation before it would get worse.

“What’s this anyway?” he asked, pointing by the chin the magazine Shigure has brought. His friend chuckled anxiously. “Well… I was ready to ask you more undies you could buy for her?” he said, ignoring Hatori’s eyes becoming wide from irritation. “I mean- Look!” he said, opening in hurry the page and showing him a picture of a woman wearing a Chinese-pattern underwear of blue and silver. “Don’t you think it would suit her Haa-san? If you don't do it for me, do it for her!!”

“Shigure, I’m going to pluck your eyes out…” He threatened, rising up of his chair and feeling the danger coming Shigure mimicked his friend, he stood up and stepped back. “Hey, Haa-san, I was just kidding, don’t react that way” he said with an unease smile. He felt there were more story that embarrassment and Shigure wanted to know, but he has to get out of the room before his friend could hit him, probably with a syringe. Ah, he knew he should have asked to Ayame.

* * *

She was bouncing on the top of him, her eyes squeezing shut in delight and their fingers interleaved. She liked being on the top of him and he liked the view of her cute and small tits moving up and down. She was breathing soundly when she wasn’t moaning. Damn, her little sounds make Shigure so hard, didn’t she know how his ears were sensible to that kind of noise? And she was so tight around him, taking his cock so deep.

She guided one hand on her chest, shivering at the touch while Shigure put the other on her hip, caressing her drenched skin before grapping it. He squeezed firmly her breast and she threw her head back, moaning through her shut mouth and tightening around him. She gradually slowed down her pace, her low stamina starting to show. Breathing heavily, she rested her palms on his chest and lifted her waist up and down before giving up in a frustrated moan and moved instead her thighs, wiggling with his cock inside. Shigure inhaled in a hiss, fuck, the way she was moving was tortuous, her slim waist moving like a snake. It felt too good and Akito was only thinking about her own pleasure when she was riding him.

He lifted her up and retired himself; she whined in loss. In a flash he rolled her over her back and dived himself back in the warmness of her pussy. He stuck his face in the crook of her neck, one of the places where her scent was the stronger. Here and between her two breasts. It was making him dizzy and he was always craving for more, without thinking he started to lick the skin. Akito shoved his face away “Humph! Don’t leave marks!” she whined “Nnn- not here” she pulled his head on her chest where he immediately kissed the skin. “Here-here is good!”

He sucked the whiteness of her tit until a red spot that will stood for days appear “Here?”. Akito nodded madly and jiggled her legs in pleasure and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, clawing his skin. He moaned. It felt so good to feel her arms and hands around him while fucking. It was so different from all the experiences he had before. The act wasn’t cold, he didn’t have to think about putting a distance with his partner. What he had right now was intimate, he was sharing love and warm with Akito. And oh lord, they were making love.

She came before him this time, his name echoing in the room they have rented for the afternoon. She clung to him, planting her nails in his back and squeezing his waist with her milky legs. Feeling his own climax coming, he rested his weight on his elbows and dived as deep as he could reach in her and came. He squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled a deep moan, Akito's hold became tighter as she felt him come. He kissed her hard before collapsing on her, his face against the softness of her breast.

They breathed heavily and she passed her fingers through his hair, provoking Shigure to lazily groan of pleasure. Akito lightly chuckled and kissed the top of his head before scratching his scalp. He knew it was a funny thing to think, but he felt like a dog. It was an if he could feel a tail wagging in happiness when she scratched right behind his ear. He rubbed his cheek against her skin, he wouldn’t mind falling asleep this way every night, with Akito by his side.

She stopped her scratches and he kissed her skin one last time before Shigure moved to retire himself from her and then, removing the condom. Akito moved her hand up to put it on his cheek and caress it. Shigure took a second to look at her, she was beautiful. Her white cheeks were red from exhaustion and her lips were glossy and swollen from too many kisses. She was smiling genuinely, her eyes shining like diamond and Shigure heartfelt heavy. He wanted to took her away, far away where nobody could find them. Not Ren, not Kureno, no Sohma and no curse, just the two of them living together.

“Shigure…” she called; the voice hoarse. “Let’s take a bath before leaving” she said. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Yeah, let’s take a shower before.” He answered, standing up and inviting Akito to follow him. She had the time to stood up before falling dizzily on him. He caught her before impact and she groaned from embarrassment. “Too rough?” he asked with a smirk and she nudged him in the stomach “Shut up” she said, ignoring his laughs. Then he leaded her to the bathroom, her body resting on his. For a moment, Shigure wondered if Hatori will take this into account.

She walked to the shower, her back resting on the wall as she was starting to wash the sweat and others fluid away on her body while he opened the tap water of the bath. He made a step to rejoin Akito under the water and hugged her from behind and kissing her nape. She put her hand in his hair, fisting it. “Hm…watch the water.” She said absently, her eyes closed. Shigure whined and put his nose on the crook of her neck. “Just one minute mom, I don’t wanna go to school” he complained with a childish tone and she chuckled, shoving him away. He looked at her before crossing his arms and waiting for the tub to fill, closing the tap once finished and taking his place back under the shower.

She had already washed her hair and she was now enjoying the hot water on her skin. Shigure absently put shampoo on his owns, too busy to look at her body. Ah, he wanted to touch again, to rub every place of her body until she smelled like him. He quickly passed his head under water and took soap before pulling Akito to him. She made a noise of surprise but let Shigure move his hands all around her body, letting him massage her breasts and lifting her arm high to wash it all along the wrist to the armpit. She pushed a sluggish sound of contentment and let her head rest on his shoulder. Shigure chuckled, she must be feeling like a princess in this position. He pulled the shower head and washed the lather off.

The closeness of their naked and wet bodies aroused him again and he started to rub himself against her, she opened an eye and turned her body. “Again at it? You’re worse than an animal in rut!” she said, more amazed than annoyed. Shigure laughed, if she knew the irony. She passed her arms around his nape, sticking their chest together and sandwiching his dick between her belly and his. “What I am going to do with you, hmmm” she said, pecking his lips quick. Shigure smirked, suddenly an idea emerging in his mind.

“Wanna try something new?” he asked, caressing her lip with his thumb. Her breath hitched and her eyes widened in surprise when she understood what he was meaning. She removed her arms and looked at him before wandering her eyes down on his cock. “No way it’s…” she said with arousement, before licking unconsciously her lips. “I…”

“Why not?” he asked in a charming voice, tilting his head he pleaded and she blushed before kneeling down. She looked up on him hesitantly before taking his hardening cock in hand, stroking slowly. She looked at it with black eyes and Shigure put his hand on her head, encouraging her to continue. With the other hand he stopped the water. She timidly sorted out her tongue and lapped the tip. The gesture reminded him of a kitten drinking milk. It was cute but the way she was licking showed how inexperienced she was. She dared to make a long lick all along his dick before sticking her lips on the tip.

Shigure stopped breathing by the sight and the sensation of her pink mouth on his cock. He forced himself to close his eyes and exhaled deeply and put his hair bangs back, his wet hairs were starting to annoy him. Akito was looking at him, waiting for him to give her back all the attention she wanted and she took his cock in her pretty mouth. Oh, she wasn’t taking much, just a little farer than the tip, but it was the most sensitive spot. He put his hand on her hair in aim to force her to take him a little deeper. She stopped the moment he tried and she scowled at him. The sight aroused him beyond imagination, her angry feature with his dick in her mouth.

He chuckled and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Haha, don’t focus too much on the tip.” He said in a smirk, hiding the fact that if she continued to focus here, he won’t last. “All of it need your love.” She put the dick out and glared deathly at him. He made a silly smile. “Please Akito-san?” She humphed before rolling her eyes and then resuming to lick it. She even kissed it before taking it back in her mouth. She wrapped her hand around the base of the cock, stroking vividly and licking the top. He winced when he felt an invited tooth on his sensitive member.

“Hmm” he moaned, continuing to stroke her head “Watch out for the teeth…” he said hoarsely. She looked up at him, probably to gauge him and then took him deeper. She probably wanted to take him further but she suddenly stopped and removed his dick at the gag reflex. She coughed and wiped her mouth.

“Are you okay?” he asked worried and she nodded. Shigure exhaled, relieved. Well, he was expecting like this to happen but at least he tried. He was ready pull her up but she decided against and placed her hands back on his penis, a determined scowl on her face. He smirked and stick his forehead on the wall, covering her. This time, she preferred to focus on the base of his cock while she was rubbing the tip with her thumb and Shigure moaned through his closed mouth. True to be told, it wasn’t his best blowjob but just the fact that it was her doing it was good enough for him to come. He hoped with time she will get better; he will be all ready to lend her his cock to help her. 

She made sloppy kisses all along the member before going back to the tip. He had a smile mixed between amazement and pleasure; she was stubborn. It was at this moment that she had the idea of finally sucking and he couldn’t hold back a moan. Noticing that what she was doing worked, she continued and Shigure had to warn her again about the teeth. When he felt himself on the verge of climaxing, he fisted her hair and pulled her away, removing his cock from her mouth. He just had the time to tell her to close her eyes before spurting sticking white strips all over her face and hair.

She looked dumbfounded and she slowly took a sample between her fingers and studied it, she had the same look of a child discovering green vegetable in their plate, wondering was what that before she suddenly blushed and frowned. “Goddamn! Shigure, I just washed my hair!” she yelled, standing up. “Haw, sorry honey~” he said, wiping some cum away from her cheek. “But believe me, you prefer me coming on your face than in your mouth.” He smirked and she shoved him away, shooing him while she washed herself one more. Laughing proudly, he jumped in the bath and moaned outrageously. He smirked when he heard her click her tongue.

“You don’t want to come in? It’s warm~” he taunted and she groaned. “I’m trying to clean your mess!” she said, rubbing the shampoo in her hair. He let his head rest against the edge of the tub, relaxing his body in the water. He allowed himself to stretch his legs, taking all the place. He opened an eye when he heard the shower stopping and turned his head to smile at his girlfriend. She was studying the tub and dared to put a foot in before kicking one of his stretched leg. “Move, you’re taking all the place” she said and Shigure simply took her by the wrist and pulled her down, splashing water everywhere. She yelled and struggled when he wrapped his arms around her body and tugged her to him, sticking her back against his chest.

She groaned by habit and made herself comfortable on him. Resting the back of her head on his shoulder. He kissed her cheek and made her smile. “Hmm, smells good.”

“Yeah, I put bath salt, it’s nice huh?” she nodded lazily, sluggish from the warmness of the bath and started to play with his fingers. “My jaw hurt.” He laughed softly and held her closer. “Promise, next time I will return the favor.” She smiled, visibly charmed by the idea “You better not deceive me then”

They stayed in the bath for the following hour, talking, sometimes kissing or tickling. Their laughs were echoing in the bathroom and Shigure wondered if that’s how happiness sounded and for how long he has been missing this feeling of euphory all his life. During the few hours he got with Akito in his arms he was happy. He wanted this to be endless, he will make it endless.

* * *

He and Akito payed at the automatic counter in the rented room. As she put her credit-card back in her wallet, he wondered when she did get her own card and if it was Ren who allowed her to own one or if it was thank to Kureno. He took her hand and they walked out of the hotel. Shigure sneezed, his body have been used to the warmness of the bath and it was badly coping with the cool weather of fall. He sniffed and Akito looked at her phone. “Shigure, let’s go.”

“You friend is already here?” he asked and she nodded. Shigure sighed, they had to walk all the way back to parc, what a pain. He noticed that the hotel they chosen today was near of the Sohma estate. Not that Akito knew, she would have been stressed out if she did. So instead, they walked away, back to their meeting point. It was farer but Shigure did not mind, if it means he could spend more time with her. However, watching her leave in Kureno’s car was becoming harder each week. He knew it won’t last. He needed to plot something to get her out of the cave, he needed to do something to make her free, he needed to do something so they could be together. He needed to be quick before it was too late.

They stopped when they arrived near of the parc entry, Shigure was ready to embrace her one last time for the week when he heard somebody calling him from behind. “Shigure-san! Hello!” He automatically turned toward the voice, Akito doing the same. “Ah, Tohru-kun, hello!” he said, surprised to see the girl here so late. Tohru bowed to him before noticing Akito and bowing again twice, one to introduce herself and the second for apologizing to disturb them.

“It’s okay Tohru-kun, Aki was leaving.” He said, looking back to her girlfriend who was frowning at Tohru. Ah, she was really distrustful with stranger and even more with woman. Shigure thought about it a lot and he came to the conclusion because she wasn’t used to meet new people and that all the women in her life have been treating her like dirt.

Akito humphed and looked in direction of Kureno’s grey car that was waiting for her at the corner of the road. “I have to go.” She said suddenly, making young Tohru jolt in surprise. Akito pulled Shigure by the collar and threw a quick glance to Tohru before kissing him. Poor Tohru gasped, not ready for a such sight and got red in a pouf in spite of her, it was like in cartoon. Shigure smirked in the kiss, his girl was so greedy, she already marked him as hers all over his body earlier and now she was showing off to a harmless girl. “See you next time” she said once they separated and she left, her head high with a satisfied smile on her lips.

Shigure watched her leaving before turning his head back to a red-faced Tohru who was apologizing dizzily. “Oh my god, I’m really sorry, I was really bothering you, I just wanted to say hello-” she babbled. “No worry Tohru-kun it’s really alright, she was leaving” he said, laughing at her reaction. She was making an awesome face. “Anyway, what are you doing here, it’s pretty far from the dojo.” He said, changing the subject.

“Oh! I was making groceries before coming back home.” She explained and Shigure noticed only now the two big bags full of foods. “Isn’t that a lot? I know boys needs food, but it looks too much…” he pointed, caressing his jaw in thought. “Oh! It’s because I started to work in the main house too!” she said joyfully. “Madam Ren hired me to cook for Akito-san!” Shigure blinked, _she what?_

“I’m glad I can do something for Akito-san, after all…He let me live in the mansion with you all and thank to him I’ve made a lot of friends” she said in a genuine smile. Shigure smiled back and patted her head, she was really a nice girl, he wished she has been here way before for all the zodiacs, maybe they would have suffered less. “I’m a bit saddened by the fact I still can’t meet him though…” added Tohru, downing her head. Shigure chuckled. “I think you’re not the only one feeling like that…” he said before taking a bag of her hand, helping her out of politeness. “Well, let’s go home Tohru, and cook for me a nice meal, I’m sooo tired of ready-made food.” He whined and Tohru made a sunny smile. “If Shishou is okay for having you tonight, I will do it gladly!!” she said “I-I mean, I’m sure Shishou will accept, but if he don’t it’s probably not against you I mean…” she tried to explain and Shigure had to hold himself back from teasing her. “It’s alright Tohru-kun.” He beamed, making a gesture of the hand.

They walked together to the Sohma estate, it annoyed him beyond word that he had to redo the walk back, but he kept his big smile all along, not showing his real thought to Tohru. “Hm…Shigure-san, can I ask you a question?” she suddenly asked timidly. He shrugged. “Of course little flower, I’m all ears.”

“This person before it was…” she started but hesitated to continue, searching a way to formulate her thought. “my Girlfriend?” he easily said and Tohru nodded vividly. “A-actually I thought it was a boy…So it’s a girl…but…” she looked directly at him “Isn’t that hard…I mean…with the curse?” she looked down to her feet, knowing that it was a subject a little taboo. She probably talked about it easily with the younger cousins, but asking to an adult was different, Shigure understood. “Do-does she know?” she added, unsure.

“No, no she doesn’t but…Well, we’re making this work” he answered, looking at the distance. “Why, you wonder about somebody in the zodiac?” he asked knowingly, he had noticed how she and Kyo have been close during the summer vacation. Poor Momiji behind was trying to get her attention. Tohru blushed immediately. “N-no I mean…” she bit her lips and nodded. “I…yes…But…” her hold on the bag tightened. Shigure looked aside, scratching his cheek.

“Shigure-san…Will Kyo really be locked?” she asked sadly.

“Well, it’s the cat fate.” He just answered and Tohru stopped in her track “No- It’s wrong…” she whispered and Shigure turned his head over her. “There must be a way.” She said “Maybe if we ask Akito-san he will understand and be clement?” she asked desperately. He sighed and remembered what Akito told him about she and cats being alike…It was their fate to be imprisoned. He looked at Tohru’s shape and for a moment, he felt like they weren’t different.

“Tohru-kun, Akito is imprisoned too, how do you think you could get in touch with him?” he asked, tilting his head and she jolted. “I…” she hesitated and Shigure closed his eyes in regret, he almost wanted to tell him what he had in mind _‘If you want something, do anything to get it, anything._’ But Tohru was too kind, too innocent to be ready to get her hands dirty, to hurt others people. So instead he stroked her head like a dad would do. “Here…Just, enjoy the few times you have with Kyo” he said cruelly, knowing that mere thought will break her heart.

Maybe saying this, the little pawn that was Tohru could become a queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After reading so many Akigure fanfiction, I had the impression that Shigure never had his bj, so here it is. Let Shigure have more blowjob in 2k20


	28. Chapter 27

Kureno was reading against the window while Akito was studying the whole Sohma bank account. Kureno succeeded to stole all the information concerning the Sohma family from Ren’s office. It has been a risky move for all got along well. He rose his head up when he heard the oven ring and stood up, telling her to tidy her papers up in a place where Ren won’t find them. She quickly nodded and went in her room while he set the table. He put the onigiri on it and the two bowl of_ unagidon_ and _kakitama-jiru_ soup. Akito came back quickly and sat in seiza before shifting for a more comfortable position and drank her soup in one go, barely chewing. He chuckled and told her to take her time to eat.

“I have to be quick so we will leave faster!” she said in a scowl, answering as if he was an idiot but did not said it. At least, now Akito was finishing all her food and Hatori congratulate her for gaining weight. Her body was starting to show feminine curves that weren’t here before. Of course, the breasts, but also the legs, the waist, the cheeks. She looked healthy and it have been since an entire month since she hadn’t caught any sickness. Improvement was made. Kureno told himself that the next time he would meet Tohru, he will thank her and tell her how much Akito loved her cocking.

He wondered if they would talk about Arisa…Kureno really wanted to, but he was wondering if it was a good idea. He was starting to feel thing he shouldn’t for a high school girl, it wasn’t normal, it was wrong but Arisa really made him happy and he felt like himself with her.

Kureno smiled gently at the memory of the blonde girl before answering to the girl he considered like his sister. “Ahah, but Akito, I need to eat too” he said, taking a sip of the soup between two bites of grilled eel. Akito pouted and took an onigiri. She blinked when she saw the cat shaped rice ball she was holding in her hand and then she studied the others, noticing that they all had an animal shaped form. Rabbit, pig, mouse, dog… Akito looked deeply at the cat, thinking if she should eat it or not before taking the rice ball in mouth. If Kureno noticed the happy face she was trying to hide, he said nothing and smiled. Today was going to be a great day.

* * *

It was the farer she ever been from the Sohma estate, she knows it was because she and Shigure were facing the sea right now. She has been surprised when she saw her man in a car and inviting her to go in. “Since when do you have a car?” she asked, dumbfounded when she sat on the passenger seat. Shigure smiled cockily. “I never said it was mine.” And then he moved to kiss her quickly. “Hello by the way.” She pouted and she mumbled an ‘hi’ back.

His smirk grew bigger. “Where are we going?” she asked, looking at the unfamiliar landscape through the window. “It’s a secret~” he said and put his hand on her thigh. “I don’t want to spoil you the surprise” he beamed. Akito frowned. “Don’t worry, we will be back on time, you trust me, right?” he winked and she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “I’m not sure if you’re somebody I would call trustful.”

“Hah! You wound me, how I am going to survive if the person I love the most don’t trust me.” He put his hands on his heart and Akito turned over with a white face. “Oh my god! Put your hands on the wheel!” she screamed and he put his hands back on the wheel bursting out. She wanted to strangle him. “Where and who did give you a driving license?!” Shigure laughed even more. “You have one, right?” she asked, getting anxious of hearing him laugh like that way. “You’re not serious?!”

He never answered, continuing to drive and Akito never regretted Kureno even more than that day. He stopped the car near of the sea, on a port. There was no beach close so was only boat leaving and coming in Japan. Akito groaned at the smell, it wasn’t the best, however, Shigure wrinkled nose expression was worth of the scent. Akito walked near of the wall separating the water and the land and admired a cruise ship. She turned over her man.

“Shigure, what are we doing here?” she asked and he shrugged. “I don’t know, wandering around in new places? It’s better than always staying in the same area?” he explained, his hair waving the salty wind coming from the sea. Akito hummed and turned her attention back on the ships. “Yeah, but there nothing to do here neither.” She said, letting him draw her against his chest. “It’s not true, we’re looking at the sea and the boats~” he said and she grunted. She couldn’t understand what was in this man head.

“Let’s get a spot where we can sit!” he said and pulled her by the hand, they walked a little minute before finding a wall remoted enough and they sat, their back resting against it. Akito moved her body on him and put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his.

It was nice actually, she got used by the smell and the sound of the seagull’s cries, the water clashing against the land and the view of ships sailing was nice. “Hey, do you know where they’re going?” she asked, breaking the silence. Shigure put his chin on the top of her head. “Anywhere, they’re free to go where they want.” He said, looking at the distance. “Anywhere, anytime, anyhow” he said hoarsely and she chilled. Freedom, she wished it so much.

She wished that Shigure pulled her in one of those boat and they would go far, far away. Far away from the house that confine, far away of Ren, far away of that family. But she refused to leave the zodiacs, they needed her, they were waiting for her. Right?

“Hey, if you were taking the chance, would you get in one of those ships?” he asked and she scowled. “To go where? What if I end in a country I don’t speak the language?” she answered and Shigure chuckled. “I will be with you, I can speak Korean you know~ _saranghae!”_ he made a heart with his fingers and she refrained herself to roll her eyes. “So, you would?” he asked once more.

“I don’t know…To go where?” she mussed, she will be alone if she were to take that boat, it was scary. It will be different from home where she had at least Kureno with her. In her youth, she had been alone and she was scared to go back to this period.

“Anywhere, be free.” He just answered and Akito straightened herself. Be free, huh…What does that even mean. Will she be happier by leaving everything she know and she cares? She couldn’t so she wouldn’t leave. But…She could be dreaming. If there were no curse, no bond tying her up with twelves people, would she allow herself to leave? What about the Sohma? One day, they will expect her to take the lead of the clan. At least she thought they were. No, she couldn’t leave, she had responsibilities, she couldn’t leave it all behind but…

She wanted to have Shigure by her side the rest of her life, she wanted him to have a license so he could take her in different places. They could walk to the top of the Fujisan, play in the sea, onsen, attraction parc, they could just live together, she won’t have to wait for a week to see him again. She just needed to go home and he will be here, probably doing something stupid. She…Loved the idea. But it would be in a world where the curse doesn’t exist and where she wasn’t the heir of the Sohma’s clan.

Sometime, Akito wondered how Shigure would react if she told him that she was a kind of reincarnation of a god. Would he think she was crazy? Would he believe her? And what if the family reject Shigure as her future partner in life? She knew that the family will object about bringing somebody from the outside, it will be worse if it’s a man and the heir's lover. They wouldn’t be able to be together, to wed…Akito eyes widened. Marrying Shigure.

She felt an absolute joy as she thought about it. All her life, she never thought about getting married, thing about marriage and family…It was girl’s thought, Ren wouldn’t allow it. So Akito banished the mere idea but, if she was given the chance to live her life with Shigure, it will be inevitable. And suddenly, images of white and black kimono, cups of sake and red flashed in her head. A voice sounding exactly like her Mother’s screamed that she shouldn’t think about it, that it will never happens, but the image was getting more and more vivid. She wanted it; she wanted her whole life by his side. The animals could take care of themselves, Akito had the right to be free and happy, didn’t she?

Will the god in her accept that?

“…Staying in Japan would be better I think.” She said, staring a ship. “But…Maybe in another city.” Shigure hummed. “Oh, we could live at Kobe, their do the best meat.” He said playfully but Akito scowled. Kobe uh… She wasn’t sure, she snuggled closer “Not in the Kansai, people are too noisy.” She grunted, making him laugh. “I will have already enough of you, I don’t need more.” She added with a teasing smile and he tickled her, playing. He stopped when she begged for air.

“You want to stay in the Kanto? That’s not funny, it’s all the same.” He said when she took her place back in his arms. “No specially… But, it’s too cold in the north and too hot in the south, I won’t be able to survive a summer in the Shikoku.” She simply answered. “Hm… Then, Chubu region sound good.” Akito frowned her eyebrows, taking a serious though. “Yeah…Chubu sound right…” she said, somehow convinced.

“Oh! Then, let’s live at Kanazawa!” he exclaimed. “Let’s live in one of those samurai house!” Akito burst out, imagining him with a _chonmage_ haircut and she in geisha kimono, it was ridiculous. “Excuse me, but I deserve a golden house.” she taunted and Shigure brayed “A golden house?! No less?” he laughed against her shoulder and she couldn’t hold back a smile. “My, my, with such a house, I won’t need to write anymore, we’ll be rich.” He said.

“Hmm, I’m sure you don’t mind being a house-husband.” She said, closing her eyes in a cockily expression “Oh, you’re gonna be the one working?” he replied. “I don’t mind, you’re so bossy, it will suit you.”

“I’m not bossy!” she said, turning back and he rose up his eyebrows, incredulous. “Not that much!” she defended herself before clicking her tongue. “Whatever!” she said, slapping her back on his chest, smiling, satisfied when she heard a muffled ‘ooffh’ coming from his throat. She cleared her throat.

“But, won’t it be wiser to be in Nayoga” she said, coming back to the main subject. “Hm? You think, Nayoga is a big city…” he mused. “Yeah, but Kanazawa is full of tourist, it will annoy me.” She explained.

“Yeah, but Nayoga is full of people” he talked back and she pouted. Won’t there be a place they will like in that damned country? “What if we moved in a village?” he proposed and she liked the idea. It will be calm, nobody to bother them. “Thought, it will be a bit hard if we want to start a family…” he said gently and her heart missed a beat. Starting a family, with him? Together. Oh god, the idea that he wanted to have a family with her shouldn’t made that happy, right?

“You don’t want it?” he whispered in her ear and she felt goosebumps all along her skin. Of course she wanted. “We could have a child of our own, a little boy or a little girl, running in our garden. Don’t you like the idea?” he said and she closed her eyes, she was seeing it as if it was real. She was in the garden and she could see their children playing tag while Shigure simply put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her to him.

Yet she said nothing, she couldn’t voice that wish, she was scared it would make the illusion disappear. Shigure continued to tell her the plan they could have together in the future. Sometime she would disagree. “Why should I be your editor, I don’t want to be responsible of your works too!” And sometime, she hummed in agreement. They stood like that for a long time, she snuggled against him and he, his arms all wrapped around her. But they have to move from that comfortable position when the first drops of rain started to fall.

They flee back into the car, laughing crazily in joy, there were suddenly a downpour outside and they ended up all drenched. “I’m gonna end sick” said Akito, wiping a tear off and Shigure put his vest on her. “There, it’s not too soaked.” He said lovingly and started the engine. She turned her head toward the gray view behind the glass. She felt always sad and cold when it was pouring this much at the house. She couldn’t walk in her garden and she was forced to stay in a house too empty for her. Yet, in that small car, she felt an unusual happiness looking at the rain. Maybe it was because Shigure was by her side, unless it was because of her thought about a possible bright future.

Strangely, they didn’t talk once in the way back. Shigure had turned the radio on and they stood here, listening the music go. However, their joy didn’t disappear, it was a calm and easy mood. The kind of mood she liked the most. She never thought she was the kind of people liking to travel. If all the trip were like that, she didn’t mind it. Without noticing, she fell asleep, her cheek against the glass.

Shigure woke her up gently by caressing her face with his fingers. She rubbed her eyes and stretched, yawning. “We already arrived?” she asked in a small voice. “Yeah, you’re alright? You can sleep a little if you want.” Akito yawned again and shook her head before moving on top of him like a big cat and hid her nose in the crook of his shoulder. She noticed his tobacco smell was starting to disappear for something that was closer of his original scent, something like moist earth. She liked it. She stood here a moment before opening the car’s door. She knew it was time already. She and he kissed one last time.

“See you next week.” She said before leaving, his vest still around her shoulder. Going from Shigure’s car to Kureno’s. She slid in his branded car nimbly and Kureno stroked her head before noticing the car she came out. “The rain showed out of nowhere, you didn’t have any problem?” he asked, his eyes fixing Shigure’s car. “It was okay.” She lazily answered before sticking her head on the glass to look at the rain. The delight she had feel with her lover was nowhere to be seen, it probably stayed in the car, on Shigure’s laps.

They arrived to the Sohma estate and they both exited the car, very tired by the day, it was probably the weather that was making them so lethargic. They discreetly came back to their house, walking quietly between the wall and sliding the doors open in silence. Akito feel strange when she arrived in the house, it was quiet exactly like it was before they left, but the ambiance…It was different.

She hesitantly opened the living room doors open and her eyes widened in horror when she saw Ren waiting for them like a snake waiting for the little mouse to fall in its grip. “here comes the sneaky boy, did you have fun outside?” Ren smiled sickly and all sadness, joy, even fear disappeared for deaf numb. _Ah_, it was over.

Kureno arrived behind her and stopped breathing when he saw Ren standing up from the chabudai and slowly moving her hand on Akito, putting it on her cheek. Akito was scared, she was so scared that she wasn’t able to move, to said a word or to even blink. “You know that you didn’t have the right to go out, but you did it nonetheless hm?” Ren said, rubbing her thumb on Akito’s skin, wiping a tear off before violently slapping her. Kureno caught her before she could hit the ground.

Akito didn’t dare to make any sound, she felt like she lost all her sensation. Just a few hours ago, she was talking about the future she could have with Shigure, about them fleeing the city to go far away from this hell, starting a family on their own. Now, it was all over. Ren will never let her out of the house, she will never see Shigure again, the dream was over.

Kureno was checking her face to see how hard Ren had slapped her. There was a bright hand imprinted on her cheek. But Akito feel nothing, she was slowly realizing that she will never see the man she loved the most in the world. Ren found her bag and spilled the contents on the floor, her wallet, her phone, books. “Oh, what’s that?” she asked, taking the smartphone and Akito eyes widened. It was where she saved all her photos with Shigure and his messages.

In a slow motion, she saw Ren smashing the phone, breaking it in piece. It was only at this moment that Akito screamed her sorrow and kneeled down, her tears pouring non-stop. She desperately took the phone and tried to put it back in place, as if it was going to work on again. Kureno took her by the shoulders. “It’s over Akito, stop…” he said heart-brokenly. She wept and stuck her forehead against the floor in a pathetic shape. Kureno rubbed her back.

“As for you Kureno…You broken my trust” Ren said, like a tyrannical empress. “I want you out of this house before tonight.” She just said and Kureno face paled. No, he couldn’t let Akito, not in that state, not alone in this house. It was going to kill her; Ren will kill her. “Ma-madam Ren…My parents moved out and I don’t have a house” he tried to say, asking for mercy, asking for a chance to stay by Akito’s side.

“That’s not my problem, it was your fault, you should had thought about it twice.” Kureno eyes were full of anguish and he bowed his head. Akito hugged him, clinging on him and sobbing like the day his curse flight away.

Ren looked down on them before walking to the door when Kureno’s voice caught her by surprise. “You think that it was Akira wanted?!” The woman gritted her teeth in anger, how did he dare. “Don’t said his name you mongrel!” She backed off but Kureno was watching her with sadness. “Akira-san just wanted you and Akito being happy…” _Do you realize that you ruined everything?_

Ren looked him with wide eyes, his fisted her hand, she desired to strangle that man but in the opposite of that idiot daughter, he could resist against her hold. “I want you _out_ before tonight.” She spat and walked away. Now she wasn’t going to leave Akito without supervision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Unagi-don is a dish with roasted eel on rice  
•kakitama-jiru is a soup based on beaten egg  
•Kanto, Kansai and Chubu are three region of the main island of Island of Japan called Honshu. Kanto at the east is where the city of Tokyo is. Kansai in the west center is where is Osaka, Chubu is in the center of the Honshu is where Nagoya city is.  
•Shikoku is another island of the japanese archipel in the south.  
•Kanazawa is a city in the Chubu, it's know to be a very touristic city and for the use of gold. They have traditionnal houses and a very famous tea house called higashi chaya.  
•Chonmage hair cut is the haircut that samurai used to wear
> 
> \---
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this chapter...So yeah, Ren found out and now it's Shigure who will have to wait for Akito. To be honest, writing this hurt me haha


	29. Chapter 28

Kureno felt like it have been an eternity that he had started to sleep in this hotel room. The day he has been forced to leave the Sohma estate have been exhausting, both mentally and physically. In only three hours, Kureno found himself on the streets with nothing but a bag with his clothes, books and his laptop. It was at this moment he has realized how few he possessed. He also felt so lonely, he has passed almost half of his life living with Akito, knowing that he will probably never see her again was sorrowful. The maids chased him so quick that he did not even had the time to say goodbye to his adoptive sister.

Kureno was sick worried. He tried to contact Hatori to tell him the dreadful news but he couldn’t get him on the phone. And he knew he couldn’t try to break into the main house, Ren probably hired new servants to watch Akito and the place she was living in. It was hopeless.

Akito was without a doubt lonely and probably crying in her room, refusing to go out. She had lost everything in one day. Kureno wondered about that person she was meeting; he will have to find this person and explain him -or her? Kureno did not know, maybe…They could help? Maybe they cared as much about Akito as him and would try to seek her. Kureno was positive that they would help the problem was…Who were they, Kureno never saw their face. All he knows was that since Akito started to meet them, she became happy, very happy. He was so grateful to that person even if they refused to help him, Kureno wanted a least to thank them for making her happy for that few times they had together.

He put his laptop in his bag. After trying to see and talk to Akito’s lover, he will try to go back at the Sohma estate and ask Hatori to let him sleep at his place until he finds a room or a house to rent. He also tried to search jobs to apply but with his lack of experience in the world or diploma, he knows it won’t be easy and he will have to start with works that don’t suit him at all. He did not want to use his name to get hired neither. Sighing, he put his bag on his back and locked the hotel room door behind him. He gave back the key and payed for his stay and then headed toward the parc he used to bring Akito.

He sat on a bench and wondered if he should have eaten before coming here. He was so stressed to miss Akito’s mysterious person that he has walked to the parc without thinking. It was uncomfortable to walk until that place when he was so used to go with the car. Ah, his car was still in the Sohma garage, he forgotten the keys when he left in rush, pressed by the maids, he hoped that Ren will at least let him have his key back. Yeah…Who he was kidding.

Kureno scratched anxiously his head and looked around him. He never noticed how huge was the parc. How he was going to know who is Akito lover, where was they meeting point. He knew nothing,_ nothing_. He was useless…He has always been useless. He hadn’t saved Akito, he hadn’t made her happy, he ruined everything…Everything. Kureno felt his throat going dry. He palmed his face, hiding his expression. He was withdrawing on himself so much that he did not hear footsteps getting closer to him. He noticed only when he saw a pair of shoes stopping just in front of him in his view-field.

He slowly rose his head up. “Shigure…nii?” he said breathlessly. “What a surprise” he added, eyes wide. What his cousin was doing here? Why he had such a closed expression while looking at him. “I recognized you from far” Shigure answered in a deep voice before smiling sadly, smiling bitterly. He never saw his usual proud cousin with that face, he looked so out of character.

“Akito won’t come anymore, that’s it huh?” Kureno pupils narrowed and he stood up from the bench, putting himself at Shigure’s level. “How did you-” he asked with face paling and his cousin twisted his eyebrows in a known full look.

Kureno couldn’t believe it “You are…”

The person Akito have been meeting all this time, it was him? But… “Why did you told her that you were leaving her!” he asked with emotion. Shigure frowned, not understanding. “That day! In the meeting room, when you told her you were leaving!” Shigure frowned even deeply, his eyes in thoughts, probably trying to remember before gasping. “Oh! That day!” he exclaimed. “I…It was before I…” he scratched his jaw. “Are we really going to talk about it?” he asked, visibly bothered to tell him more.

“I think I deserve to know Shigure…If you were her…Her…” he tried to search the best word to match the relation he had with Akito but he wasn’t sure. “Lover?” offered Shigure with a smirk and Kureno reluctantly nodded. “Oh my god…How it happened?” he palmed his face, rubbing his temple and sitting back on the bench, the force in his legs leaving him. Shigure chuckled. “Aaah, a fateful event.” He said in wonder, smiling, contemplating an old memory. “long story short, she aggressed a gardener.”

Kureno blinked, dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe Akito could aggress anybody, sure she has her character, but never she would hurt someone. Kureno frowned gently. “Shigure-nii…To be honest, I’m not sure Akito is strong enough to hurt physically somebody…” he said and Shigure laughed. “Oh my, don’t belittle her, she is stronger than you think!” he said. “Maybe she can’t fight against Ren, but she is ready to defend herself at any moment.” He gazed at Kureno with a cocky smile, as if he was knowing something that Kureno didn’t. He did not remember his cousin to be so childish. Guess things were different in his memories. But something else bothered Kureno in the way Shigure was acting.

“You’re… not surprised by the situation” he said after observing Shigure carefree behavior. He couldn’t understand, Shigure won’t see his girlfriend anymore, the woman he was meant to love more than anything and it was like Kureno just said to him that the sky was blue. Kureno always loved how nothing could touch Shigure, always detached but…It was wrong, he couldn’t understand. Didn’t he know about how Ren was treating Akito? How unhappy she was?

Shigure simply shrugged “It was bound to happens.” He looked his shoes, his foot playing with pebble. “Ren would have ended up knowing about it anyway” he quietly said and Kureno looked sadly at his cousin. He studied him once more and he noticed that through his nonchalance expression, his eyes looked distant, regretful. Unless Kureno dreamed it. No… Shigure did love Akito, he shouldn’t doubt about it; of course he must be pained by what was happening. Kureno closed his eyes, he remembered when he was just a child running after Shigure. He often talked with him about Akito, about dreams and Shigure was always frowning and swearing. Kureno used to agree with everything his cousin was saying, because in his memories, Shigure was always right.

“Shigure-nii…What will you do?” he asked after an eternity. “Are you going to…move on?” he queried, repeating the same words Shigure told him months ago. The man sneered. “What? Well, I don’t know” he said, rolling his eyes to the sky “Everything is different, isn’t it?” he taunted, trying to gauge Kureno. He did not trust him enough to tell him all his secret, all the thoughts and all the ideas he had in mind.

“She…needs you, more than anything!” Kureno said, wanting his cousin to help her, because he wasn’t able anymore. Shigure frowned “Ah?” he just said, asking for more explanation. Really, was he more needed than Kureno himself? “Shigure-nii, since you came into her life, she…I feel like she is happy, she is livier. You made her happy, more than I ever could!” _more than I even tried _he didn’t say.

Shigure scratched the back of his head, his eyes wandering around before resting on Kureno’s bag. “…I guess Ren fired you right?” Kureno made a low sound, nodding. “Yeah…I don’t have a place to stay” he confessed sheepishly. “I was wondering if I could ask to Hatori-nii but I didn’t success to contact him yet.” Shigure hummed. “Yeah, he is busy lately, he has been called to help in one of the Sohma’s clinic.”

“I see…” He lowered his eyes and bit his lips. He was hesitant, he did not talk to Shigure in years and the man didn’t sound like he wanted to stay with him, or maybe it was just an impression. It has been always hard to know what the man had in head. “Shigure-nii…” he started, unsure. “I know it have been a long time since we talked but…” he implied the request, looking, no, begging his cousin to hear him. “Ah, I guess you want a free place to stay huh”. Shigure smirked.

“Ju-just, a few days, just the time I find a place to live and a decent job” he said, plead in the eyes. Shigure sighed. “Well, I guess I can let you stay…” he guessed loud, putting his fingers under his chin in thought. “Is that all you have?” he pointed the bag. Kureno eyed it silently before nodding. “I shared most of my owning with Akito” he explained.

“Yeah, I heard” Shigure talked back, a little roughly behind his smile. Kureno looked aside, feeling uneasy. After half of a minute, Shigure exhaled a frustrating noise. “Well, I guess it can’t be helped right?” he whined. “Take your bag and follow me. I have a spare futon” he said before turning his back and making a gesture of the hand, inviting Kureno to follow him.

“Thank you Shigure” he said quietly

* * *

If three years ago somebody had told Shigure that Kureno Sohma, the guy who deflowered the goddess he has been obsessed since he was a kid, the man he was meant to hate the most in the world was sat in the middle of his living room, sipping tea that he made for him, because he let the man sleep in his house to help him, Shigure would have asked where was the hidden camera. Yet, there he was.

At the end, Shigure didn’t find himself hating the man that much anymore, his feeling for him were now more like indifference, or a slight irritation and maybe a little bit of reconnaissance because without him, he wouldn’t have meet Akito and they wouldn’t be together. Well…_Together_ wasn’t really the good word right now, but Shigure did not want to think about it, not in front of Kureno. He did not want to risk to show him a vulnerable side. “Shigure-nii, thank you again, if I can do something to pay you back, please, tell me” said Kureno.

Shigure wanted sarcastically ask him to give him back Akito’s virginity, but it was just stupid and he didn’t really care anymore. It wasn’t important, what mattered was that Akito choose him and loved him over Kureno. Shigure smirked at himself, ah, he was really childish to fight over Akito’s virginity, this was stupid. Well, it’s not new information about himself, he is childish and possessive. He won’t change. Anyway, right now, it wasn’t what mattered, yeah, it wasn’t…Did he already say that?

“Still I’m quite surprised that you are going out with Akito! I mean” said Kureno, trying to get back on the subject. “Out of all the people in the city, it being another Sohma…More, a cursed it’s…” Kureno smiled gently, like a maiden reading a romance book and the main couple just had their first kiss “It’s like it was fate.” Shigure had to held back a chuckle, his naivety reminded him of Tohru. He could almost find him cute if they didn’t have a bad past.

Kureno looked at the liquid in his cup. “Tell me…Who else know?” Shigure blinked. “About?”

“About you and Akito, I mean…You told me Akito wasn’t aware that you are a Sohma…” said hesitantly Kureno, hoping Shigure won’t try to answer vaguely. The man did not know if he should humor him or not. He decided against. “Mm…Aaya and Haa-san do” Kureno’s eyes widened in surprise, inciting Shigure to continue “Actually, Haa-san was the first one to know, even before than I do! And he told me nothing, I felt so betrayed!” he whined dramatically so he could hide the fact it was real. Ah, he was been so bitter when he learnt the truth. Hatori was always watching for the repercussion of actions, always trying to make the few people hurt as possible, even it was mean he had to be a coward, but well, Shigure was already aware of this, nobody is perfect. Hatori was a coward, Ayame was still learning to no be an egoist anymore and Shigure himself was a bastard.

“Hatori-nii did…Why he never told me?” Said quietly Kureno, shock in the voice. “I asked him the same question” laughed Shigure but Kureno shook his head. “That’s…I don’t understand! Hatori-nii could have told us, to the three of us!” Shigure could see that his younger cousin did not understand the doctor choice. Shigure too did not understand at first, until he had the power to tell her. Oh, he had tried, multiple time, but Akito did not wanted to hear it. She did not want to remember the Sohma, Shigure knew, she wanted to be free, to go far, far away where nobody could find her, somewhere where she could be happy.

Hatori did not wanted to face the consequence in front of Ren, in his logic, the few knew, the better. He stood quiet because he thought it was the best way to protect both of them. Shigure kind of understand this logic, he was a doctor, if he couldn’t heal, he could always try to prevent. It had made sense in his cold head, but Shigure was an artist. He was different, Shigure was a person of emotion. What kept Shigure silent was the eyes of the woman he loved. He wasn’t better than Hatori. He really had wished to tell her, maybe if he did, the two of them would be already far, far away. Playing with the Biwa lake water.

Kureno was the one who know when it was already too late. He was like that man in Hiroshima, who saw the bomb falling on him. Even if he tried to run away, he couldn’t escape the destruction. Kureno will never be able to tell Akito that he knows the situation she was in. Shigure could see in his eyes how tired was the man. Sighing, Kureno massaged his temples. “So yeah…Akito don’t know that you are…”

“No, no she doesn’t” He answered in a smile and Kureno frowned. “But then… How did you know?” he asked. Shigure smiled to hide how annoyed he was, he won’t stop asking him question about them. In a way he understands why he was quiring so much about his relation with her. Hatori told him a long time ago, when he hasn’t meet Akito yet and he was dying of envy to be in Kureno’s shoes, that the man only saw Akito as his younger sister. Shigure had answered him sarcastically at this moment _‘ah, because you would fuck your own sister if you had one?’ _he had said, he was really sour. But now that he was talking with him, he could see that indeed, Kureno saw her like close family and nothing else. Yet, he did not want to let Kureno in the knowledge of their relation. It was his and Akito’s only, he could search for another girl if he wanted to know so much. “Well, it just happened.” He answered, not giving more information.

Kureno bit his lip and looked aside. Shigure could see how uneasy he was by the situation. “Shigure-nii…You’re…I guess you’re aware of Ren behavior…”

“Who aren’t?” he simply said and Kureno frowned. “I mean…With Akito” Shigure turned his head to the window, he said nothing but the gesture invited quietly Kureno to tell him more. All Shigure know was the marks that Ayame have told him about and the state of her body. Hatori told him that she started to gain weigh since January, but to Shigure taste, she still looked underweight. When she was riding him, he could see the shape of her ribs under her gorgeous milky skin.

“I’m scared…She is all alone and she hate it. She will go mad and Ren will hurt her” Kureno fisted his hands. “We-we should do something”

“What? Both you and I are black listed, We could try to tell Hatori but he isn’t home and are you sure you want to meddle Yuki in this mess?” Shigure wouldn’t mind if he were honest, but Yuki was useless and he had already argued with him. It would too strange if Shigure were to do the first step. The question was; was Kureno ready to involve a teenager in this? A teenager that have been abandoned by his parents. Sure, Kazuma was his guardian, but will Kureno ready to involve the man too. Was Kureno ready to carry the burden of such a choice on his shoulder. Shigure wasn’t so sure and by seeing Kureno bowing his head, he knew he was right.

“Well, let’s sleep on it. You can use my laptop if you want to search a place.” He stood up and stretched, ready to go in his office to work a bit. Just before opening the door, he turned back to his cousin “Now that I think about, don’t the Sohma have a propriety in the forest? Out of the estate?” Said Shigure in a thoughtful tone. “Maybe you could check here if the place is available?” he shrugged and walked out.

As he was passing in his corridor and out of Kureno’s view, he thought about Akito and let his playful expression fail. He frowned his brows and let his forehead touch the wall, a regretful expression showing on his face. Fuck, why it happened now? If it has happened a month or two later, he and Akito would be already far. He was already planning everything.

He inhaled deeply, gathering his thoughts and entered in his office. The situation changed nothing to Shigure’s plan. It was just a diversion, the path will change and the road might be longer, but the result stood the same. He sat on his chair, his eyes wandering on the numerous real-estate books laying on his desk, loans and comparative estates.

Shigure rested his chin on his hand, a determined expression on his face. Yeah, it changed nothing, he was still going to take her away.


	30. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! To celebrate it, two chapters !!

Tohru put the knife back on the counter and looked by the window. The estate has been under tension since Ren announced that the traditional zodiacs gathering of new year won’t happens this year. Yuki have been really saddened by the news but the worst have been Kisa and Momiji reactions. However, Rin said that she did not cared, but Tohru was sure of the opposite…Rin have been acting strange lately. Tohru wished they could be closer, but Rin did not like company, she had decided to respect this.

She was also worried about Kyo. However, the cause was different. When school will he over, he will be imprisoned. Tohru bit her lips in a tight line and decided to resume cooking when she heard the sound of geta tapping on the wooden floor behind her. She stood silent and continued to prepare the head of family today’s lunch. The upper maid came and clacked the tray on the counter brutally, making the young girl jolting.

“That Akito is so spoilt! I can’t believe it!” Roared the woman and Tohru put the knife down, confused. “Wha-what happened?” The maid blinked, as noticing Tohru’s presence and smiled gently. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you were here” she softened out her voice. “It’s just the young master refused to eat today too!” she said, her irritation coming back. “He annoys me so much! Doesn’t he know all the time you take to prepare his meals? Argh, if I had the right to force him…” she groaned, looking at the untouched plate that Tohru prepared early this morning.

“I-it’s okay I don’t mind…” said Tohru, genuinely, she didn’t mind about her plate however, she was really worried over Akito-san. It has been days since he hadn’t eating at all, or very few… “You should watch out Tohru-chan, nice guys finish last.” She said in a maternal way. Tohru simply smile and put away the rice, she already has this discussion many times and she disagreed each time, being gentle wasn’t failing. She wondered why Akito did not wanted to eat at all…Was it because he did not like her cooking? It was strange, the weeks before, he had been eating it all.

The maid left the room, leaving Tohru alone with her thought about Akito. Was he feeling bad? Was he sad? What happened? Tohru wanted to know. She always wanted to meet that person. Akito was the one who let her live here, in the Sohma estate, it’s thanks to him that she had the chance to become friends with such amazing people like Kyo, Yuki, Momiji, Kisa, Hatori-san and all the rest of the zodiac. Even mister Kureno, she hasn’t talked a lot with him, but it was each time enjoyable, and…He was the one Uo-san was in love with. When she said that to Arisa, she and Hanajima have squealed like kittens. Kureno was somebody really nice. Tohru wondered why she hadn’t saw him in the past two weeks now.

The soup boiling brought her back to reality and she stopped the fire. December holiday have started and she was now working full time in Akito’s house. Kyo and Shishou have been against it, saying that a young girl like her should enjoy her free time but Tohru was really glad to work for the family head, really. Yuki-kun simply asked her to prepare the best dishes for Akito because he never has the chance to eat heart-warming foods, and it made Tohru really sad. She wanted to ask Yuki more question but most the time, he simply shook his head and looking at her sadly. _‘He is a very lonely person…’_ he had said and Tohru wanted to ask him why nobody was by his side. Then she remembered that he does have Yuki and Kureno and even Hatori, but Tohru wondered if it was enough? This man never gets out of the house, never meet new people… Tohru couldn’t help but felling deep sorrow for this solitary person.

She really wanted to see Akito and be by his side, she did not want this person that she had never met being so sad because…Because she knew that this person was important for the zodiacs. She remembers talking with Ritsu and he had asked her if Akito too would be ashamed by him wearing girl clothes_. ‘I don’t want him to hate me…What if he laughs too if he saw my appearance, what if being sorry won’t be enough?’_ he said in a tight voice. She remembers Haru anger when the maid announced the cancelation of the new year banquet, Yuki and Kyo had to stop him before he would say something he would regret, and then Momiji regretful expression when he explicated Tohru how much he waited new year to feel Akito happiness_. ‘Even if I can’t see him directly, I’m happy to be with him at least one day…But now…’_

Tohru understood there were a strong bond between god and his subjects, one that the Sohma family was trying to break, but why? Why would they cause all of them pain? Wasn’t their life already so hard? She sighed sadly before turning her head where she just heard the upper maid and Ren’s favorite talking about Akito. “Urgh…This boy is just a pain…”

“Should we tell to Madam Ren?” whispered the other woman in a careful tone. “No, let’s not disturb her about this little thing, it’s bad for her temper…” she had just answered. “Let’s continue to leave him food and if he refuses, let’s call Hatori as last resort.”

“Hum…Excuse me.” Said Tohru hesitantly, feeling like she had an opportunity to do something. She uneasily played with the sleeve of her _iromuji _kimono. “Ma-maybe I can be the one serving master Akito today's food...I mean…” she started to stammer and the upper maid calmed her with a gentle tap on her shoulder. “It’s okay Tohru-chan, breathe” she laughed. However, the favorite stared at the young girl a moment, pondering.

“Well…It’s worth the try, if you success to feed that spoilt kid, it’s better than nothing.” She sighed and Tohru couldn’t help a big smile growing on her face. She was going to meet Akito!

She quickly rushed back to the kitchen, excited to prepare the best meal she ever done, wanting the man to taste it and to show it to him, it needed to be a feast. She looked at the soup and she wondered if it was fancy enough. Today was a big day!

She continued to prepare vegetables and thought about doing it in tempura. She also rummaged around in the shelf and found enough to do _gyoza_ and seasoned _udon_. As she prepared it all, she also cooked side dishes like _wafu_ dressing or _chawanmushi_. She wanted to impress Akito and she was determined. Many maids came in kitchen looking at the girl with a bewildered expression. The upper maid called her softly. “Tohru-chan, he will probably won’t eat it, you don’t have to try so hard…” but Tohru quickly shook her head as she prepared onigiri. “No, no! I want to do my best!” she assured with a shiny smile before resuming her squeeze around the rice balls she was doing. She made a cat without thinking and was embarrassed. Thank god Kyo was not here…

The clock rang twelve without her noticing and she panicked, putting all the dishes she prepared on a tray only to yell in shock when she realized that she had made too much and that she couldn’t put them all on it. She will have to go at least twice between the Akito’s part of the mansion and the kitchen, Tohru did not mind, she was determinate. She put plates on the tray and walked in direction of the master living room.

It was the first time she walked in that part of the house and she had to refrain to sneeze. It was much colder than in the kitchen and air was more humid. She heard Hatori said that Akito get easily sick and Tohru wondered if the humidity wasn’t one of the causes. Hesitantly, she knocked at the door to receive no answer, so she slid open the door if her foot. The living room was empty and dark. Unsure of what to do, she set up the table and opened the window. She hoped that Akito won’t mind. She looked back in the hallway that was probably giving to Akito’s private room before coming back to the kitchen and taking with her the rest of the meal. She let herself wipe sweat off her forehead when she saw the table all set. But still no Akito…

She wondered if she has to wait for him or if it was better to go to get him. She walked back and forth between the living room and the entry of the hallway, hesitating. She did not want to look rude in front of Akito but she remembered that the maids said that he wasn’t eating…What if he wasn’t getting out of his room at all? Feeling a cold sweat ran along her back, she rushed in the corridor and stopped when she heard something like sob behind fusuma door.

Tohru eyebrows went up before they twisted in a sad frown. Yuki has told her that Akito was lonely and a sad person. She suddenly tapped on the paper door and the sob stopped immediately. “Go away!” a brutal voice that made Tohru jolt said. “A-Akito-san, this is Honda Tohru!” she presented herself

“I said go away! Are you fucking retarded!” Tohru gasped, she didn’t like the language Akito used but she said nothing. The situation somehow reminded her of Rin, as if Tohru was an enemy. Like Rin, Akito was using defense as the best attack. Tohru played with her fingers anxiously. “Akito-san, please come out, your lunch is ready…” she said softly, hoping that Akito would come out. “I’m not hungry, now get out!” Tohru frowned, she refused. She refused to let Akito don’t taking care of himself as he should do.

“Please Akito-san, if you don’t eat, the others will be really sad.” She begged and she heard a creepy sneer at the other side of the doors and creaking sound. “The others? Who? Let me laugh!” he said, almost madly and Tohru suddenly realized of the complete solitude Akito-san have been under and the effect it had caused on him. It was only at this moment she noticed Kureno absence. “Yu-Yuki-kun to start” she heard a scoff “and, Hatori, Kureno! But also Kisa-chan, Hatsuharu-kun, Momiji-kun, even Kyo-kun and Rin-san in their owns way! They all care deeply for you and they all would be sad if something bad happened to you!”

“…It doesn’t matter anymore…Nothing matters…” she heard another sob and Tohru put her hand on the door “Akito-san…It’s not true…” she said in recomfort. “What do you know?!” He yelled and his voice sounded really feminine, in shock Tohru stood silent, not knowing what to say.

“Momiji-kun was really looking for new year banquet…He said that even if he won’t really see you, being with you for one night already made him happy…” She said and the door slide just enough to let pass through it Akito’s hand who grabbed her by her obi. “Really?” said a quiet voice and Tohru nodded, finally smiling. “Yes! He has told me that last year he practiced a lot just for you!”

“This is stupid…I barely saw him…” Akito answered and Tohru could hear a hint of laugh in the voice. “Even still, he wanted to do his best for you!” She affirmed and Tohru did not need to see to know that Akito was smiling.

“Will…Will you eat with me?” Asked Akito after another silence. “I-I don’t like eating alone…” Tohru exhaled a genuine smile. “Oh course Akito-san! I have so many things to tell you! I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time!!” She suddenly bust out her joy, happiness filling her pitched voice and she clapped her hands together in delight. The door opened more and Tohru finally saw the hidden Amaterasu.

Their expressions froze and before Tohru had a second to understand what was happening and who she just saw, Akito was bringing her forcefully in the room, almost throwing her on the floor and Akito closed her fusuma doors soundly. Tohru stared at the other person with wide eyes, she already saw him…Her? Yes, she remembered, Akito was… “Shi…Shigure-san girlfrien-” but wasn’t Akito a man?

“Shut up!!!” Akito screamed before pouncing her against the wall, bony hand of her lips. “Shut the fuck up! Don’t talk!” Tohru obligated and took this time where Akito had stuck their palm so hard against her mouth to study the appearance of the person covering her. First of all, she noticed how red and dry the eyes were and how it was contrasting with the sickly whiteness of the skin. Yuki had described Akito as a Greek status; however, this tone of skin was looking more like dead’s. She also noticed how skinnier the body was in comparison of the time Tohru saw Akito by Shigure’s side.

Akito frowned and reluctantly put the hand away. “Don’t say a word” Akito warned and Tohru nodded. “Is somebody else with you?” the voice was quiet. “N-no” Tohru answered before gasping and shaking her head. Akito exhaled loudly and kneeled down, showing fatigue. “Akito-san…Are you alright?” she asked.

“Do I look alright for you?” Akito spat, palming the forehead. Tohru kneeled down next to the shivering body “No…I’m sorry…” she just replied, she wanted to help Akito but she didn’t know how to. Akito was now hiding the eyes behind hands. Uneasy, she wondered if she should call for Kureno, but she remembered that she did not saw him yet. “Akito-san…Where is Kureno-san?”

“She fired him!” Akito sobbed and it broken Tohru’s heart. “I’m alone, alone!” Akito added, suddenly grabbing both of Tohru sleeves and looking at her with such desperate eyes that Tohru felt like crying. “I’m never going to see him again! No Kureno! No Yuki” Akito said before the voice broke down in a hiccup and god wrapped arms around the body like a scared child “No Shigure…” Akito sobbed more and Tohru couldn’t held back a tear before taking the weak body in her arms. “I’m with you right now Akito, you’re not alone…” she said, trying to recomfort the chief but only brought more tears on the face. They stood in that position until Akito stopped crying.

Akito separated from Tohru embrace and rubbed the eyes. Tohru smiled gently, causing god to blush before sniffing and looking away. “Really Akito-san, I’m so shocked that you are Shigure-san lover!” she exclaimed “Shigure told me that you are his girlfriend, but everybody is telling me that you are a man, so I was shocked!” she giggled and Akito pouted. “Actually Akito-san…Sorry if I’m rude but…What are you? Yo-you don’t have to tell me of course!” she made a gesture of the hands, panicking by the sudden glare of the person.

Akito studied her for a moment before opening the kimono and showing her the birth of her small breasts, red marks could be seen. Tohru eyes widened in horror, Akito was a woman. “But…Why? Why is everybody calling you a man?” Akito stared a moment before putting her kimono back. She never answered though and Tohru looked sadly at the woman in front of her. “It must hurt isn’t?” Akito slowly nodded. She looked so fragile and Tohru knew that she needed somebody right now.

Smiling gently, the girl stood up and showed Akito her hand. The chief stared a moment at it, wondered if she should take it or not. Even if this Tohru was willing to be by her side, won’t Ren take her away too? Like she took away all the people she wanted to be with? But Akito hated it, being alone. She felt like a lonely rodent. She swallowed and slowly took the hand the girl was offering her, as if she was scared it would disappear as soon as she touched it.

Tohru helped her to stand up and they both walked to the living room, holding their hands. Akito had a thought about Mine, she too has been really gentle with her. Why all women weren’t like she or Tohru? They both sat at the table and Akito had for a little second the impression that Tohru was Kureno. The illusion quickly melted and Akito felt the need to tear away her eyes from Tohru’s shape, she looked at the table instead and stared at the numerous plates on it.

“I won’t eat that much…” she groaned in a small voice, still dry from her cries. Tohru laughed. “It’s okay! Eat as much as you want! Don’t force yourself! And we are two, we can share!” Akito heart made a painful beat at the words Tohru uttered, it reminded her Shigure’s when they had eaten together at the Izakaya. She wanted to see him so much. She had to keep herself from crying but a traitor tear slid along her cheek. Thankfully, Tohru thought it was because of her she was crying and not because of that deep hole in her chest from Shigure’s absence.

Tohru quickly filled a bowl of soup for her and poured her tea. “Sorry if it’s a bit cold…” apologized Tohru; Akito ignored and drank it. She preferred that way when it wasn’t burning her tongue. Tohru beamed genuinely and Akito wondered how comes that girl wasn’t tired of always smiling. Tohru took _udon_ noodles and dipped it in sauce, Akito followed. “It’s so great to eat with somebody isn’t it? That’s why you weren’t eating your meals before right?” Asked Tohru, making the conversation. Akito nodded half-heartily.

It was half true. She was so used to eat with Kureno that eating alone made her remember how alone she was, it reminded her of the situation she was in and everything she have lost. “I understand Akito-san, when my mother died, I felt so lonely. Even if I was trying to not cry because I know it would have hurt her, I couldn’t because it was so hard to held the tears back…” Akito stared. She hated Ren, she could die Akito would dance on her corpse. But, what was saying that girl was descripting what she was living right now. She missed Kureno and Shigure so much.

Trying to think about something else, Akito grabbed an onigiri. It was animal shaped, as always. “You are the one who made them.” She said; it was not a question but Tohru answered a “yes!” nevertheless. “I think it’s cute that way, Kyo-kun often say it’s strange for him to eat a cat-shaped onigiri.” She said with a smile. Akito frowned, studying her food “Kyo…The cat uh…”

“He is very nice and hard-working! You should see him when he is at the dojo!” Exclaimed Tohru with passion, she continued to talk about Kyo for the next minutes endlessly that Akito stopped listening and was slurping her noodles instead, with an air blasé. At first, she was really interested in everything she could learn about the zodiac, even the betrayer cat, but at the end, she had the impression to have one of Shigure’s light novel heroine talking about her love interest. Akito always found funny the gap between his light novels and his more serious books. It was as if it was two different person who write it, yet, the style was somehow the same.

“A-ah, sorry, I talk too much right? Hiro-kun often tell me that.” Akito averted her eyes and tightened her hold on her chopsticks. Hiro was the sheep. She tried to not yell, but she couldn’t help but having the impression that Tohru was taunting her. She talked non-stop about the people Akito desired to meet since she was little. Yes, she was jealous. Deathly jealous, but she was also tired. “It’s just…Akito-san, can I ask you a question?” She rolled her eyes and made a gesture of the hand. “Go ahead.”

“Well…Will you really imprison Kyo-kun?” Tohru asked in a quiet voice and Akito’s eyes narrowed. “It’s…” She blinked, dumbfounded. She did not expect this question nor finding herself being unable to answer. She felt like a coward when she turned her head away. “It’s the tradition…”

“It’s unfair!” She talked back. “Locking somebody forever is terrible!” She added vividly, shifting her position. Akito looked at her right in the eyes, cutting out everything she had in mind. “You think I don’t know how it feels to be imprisoned?” Akito asked in a cold and warning tone. If she let her instinct run wild, she would have screamed at her. But Tohru just stopped herself and bowed her head in silence. Akito continued to eat, picking a gyoza and swallowing it.

She remembered that day in the cat café. At this moment, she had felt really close to Kyo. After a long silence where only she was picking food, Akito sighed irritably and talked. She couldn’t support this quietness anymore. “I often think about the fact he will end like me.” She said and her voice sounded like an echo in the silence in the cold room. Tohru slowly lifted her head and Akito noticed tears in the corners of her eyes, she ignored them. “I thought that maybe, both he and I weren’t different, maybe that’s why he isn’t a part of the zodiac… No one can be so close to god without punishment.” She finally said, like it was a statement.

“…Nobody should be imprisoned if they done nothing wrong, not Akito-san nor Kyo-kun…” she just said, her breath shaking. “Are you really alright with it Akito-san?” This time, she couldn’t retain her yell. Her anger and resentment erupting, exploding. “Of course I’m not! But do I look like I have the fucking choice?!” She slapped her hand on the table, making the plates jumps. This time Tohru did not jolt, she stood here with a grave expression. “You think I do loves staying here by my owns?! You think I enjoy it?!” Akito asked madly until being out of breath and Tohru still stood still.

The girl gently put her palms around Akito’s hands and smiled. “Then Akito, if you’re tired, why don’t you try to break free?” Akito paled at the idea of trying. She felt Ren’s angry eyes and fists on her, she remembered the ruined flowers and the destruction of her phone. “I can’t…” she whispered

“Akito-san-”

“I said I can’t! I-“ she hugged herself, trying to imagine her zodiacs around to comfort her, but it was useless and she was alone, alone, alone. “I can’t do it by myself…” she finally admitted. Tohru moved beside her and put her hand on her shoulder, but Akito slapped it away. Tohru did not flinch and she looked at her with an understanding sadness. “It must have been hard…All these years…” Akito hugged herself tighter. If only Shigure, Kureno, Yuki or Hatori were with her… If only she had her zodiacs close…She couldn’t bear it anymore.

“Akito-san…Do you want me to do something on your behalf?” She said, her voice suddenly full of joy and encouragement again. “I will do anything you ask me!” She said, mimicking a warrior gesture. Akito lifted her head to look at her with incredulity. “Why would you do it?”

“It’s because…I owe you a lot.” She answered in a quiet beam, Akito did not understand. “What are you saying, we never talked before!” Tohru tilted her head cutely. “Yes…But you allowed me to live here, and thank to you, I’ve made a lot of friends.” _The zodiacs_, Akito wanted to scream. Why was she still rubbing it on her face? It was unfair, unfair, unfair. Akito was the god, Akito was the one feeling them through her skin, she was a nobody, she was...

“And I want to be useful for you. If you want, I can be your messenger! Nobody will suspect me, I’m a maid, they think I’m in their sides!” she said. Did she think they were in a spy movie? “Akito-san, I really want to help you! Maybe I can start with Shigure-san!” Akito stopped breathing.

“You…You could do that for me?”

Tohru nodded, beaming genuinely.


	31. Chapter 30

_Hikari stood in front of crossroad. If she continued on the right, she will take the path to go home. She knew that her father was waiting for her. She knew that if she took this road, she will end up in the brothel and will live here until the end of her life. But at least, Tarou, her father, the man who raised her, would be safe. _

_However, if she decided to take the road at the left, and run away with Mamoru, she might be responsible for her father’s death. Could she live with that on her conscience for the rest of her life? Even if it was the same man who is ready to sell her in exchange on his own life. Hikari was at a turning point of her life and she was scared. She just wanted to go back in past and never have to do this decision. However, she couldn’t stay on this crossroad forever._

“Shigure-nii, do you want an egg topping on your rice?” called Kureno’s voice from the kitchen. The man rose his nose up from the paper he was working on “Ah? Yes please” he answered before taking his attention back on his draft. He had almost completed his book, however, Shigure still hesitated about which end to write. Will Hikari decide to break free and leave everything she know behind her, or will she accept her fate and live forever locked in a whorehouse. Shigure smirked to himself, maybe the choice wasn’t his to do.

He put away his drafts as he heard Kureno’s footsteps in the hallway. He stood up before his cousin could pass his head through the door. “Food is ready.” He said gently and Shigure made his biggest beam. “Ah! Great, I was starving, Kureno, you would a nice house-wife.” He teased, taking a dig but Kureno was too gullible to notice it. It almost made his eyes roll in a blasé manner, not funny. They both walked to the table where Kureno prepared two sets for them to eat. It wasn’t much but rice and a piece of fried beef that Kureno had sliced.

It has been more than two weeks since Kureno started to live with him. As a gratitude for his cousin to allow him to stay here until finding a new roof, Kureno had clear the whole house to the point Shigure had the impression to rediscover his own home. Of course, Kureno only took care of the shared rooms, so Shigure’s bedroom and office were still dumping grounds to the point it was disturbingly contrasting.

“Your editor come today, isn’t it?” asked Kureno to make the discussion, eating silently. Looked like he needed to talk when eating, thing he wasn’t doing in their young days, he used to respect his cousins desire of silence when Ayame wasn’t around to bawl. It annoyed Shigure that he probably took this habit from Akito, she too was always trying to make a discussion when eating. However, if he adored sharing a conversation with his lovable girlfriend, he wasn’t that adamant to do the same with his cousin. Especially if it was to talk about nothing, Shigure answered nevertheless. “Mit-chan? Yeah, this afternoon, what a pain!” he whined, looking at his cousin.

He knew that the reason why Akito was always trying to make a conversation was because she needed to have the attention of the other. Shigure know it was something she didn’t grow with; she was a lonely person but she hated it, she was feeling transparent. Shigure guessed that for years Kureno have been the only she could talk with. Since Yuki did not know about her secret, Kureno was the only one who could be her confident. Yet, she didn’t tell him about the relationship she had with him. Guess Akito was full of secret. Shigure hoped that he was the one Akito trust the most, the one Akito will tell to all her secrets. And he would tell her everything he has in mind.

Shigure let for half of a second a tired expression shows in his eyes, but he quickly covered it by a yawn. He won’t let anyone saw his weaknesses. The people he allowed himself to show were his dear Mabudachi and Akito. Nobody else. Funny how he was cursed by the spirit of the dog when in reality he feels himself being more a wolf. Yet, wolves can’t live alone, they needed to be in pack and Shigure needed to be with Akito, quick. He was missing her so much.

He had never been that away from her since the cruel decision he had made last year. He did not know when he would see her again and it was eating him. That was how she had felt when he stopped seeing her? God, it was horrible, this feeling… It made Shigure angry, not that Kureno noticed it, his anger was something cold, something slow but clearly present, like water freezing. Shigure wanted to run to Akito’s house and directly kidnap her away, but the consequences will be catastrophic and his plan will flop. Now, he needed to be patient. It was alright, he waited twenty years to meet her, he could wait a little more. One thing Shigure was sure, he always gets what he wants.

“It’s a good thing your books are selling-well Shigure-nii. Akito loves them.” Said Kureno. “I was so surprised when she started to read your light novels, not that I knew it was yours at the time.” Kureno smiled gently. “She does really love you”

“Oh no, you’re jealous? You want me to give you a little of my love?” he said playfully in a gasp, as he would do for anybody. That kind of comment always made people back away in cringe, unless if the said person was Ayame. Shigure didn’t like being observed by somebody he didn’t allow to, being saw through, and Kureno was not. However, he needed to do concession. Basically, Kureno was like his future brother-in-law…A brother in law who have sleep with his sister…

Shigure frowned internally; no, don’t think about it, you’re going to get bitter, angry, jealous, it’s not a good. Don’t show him your real feelings. Never.

“Haha, you’re still joking around as ever!” said Kureno, oblivious as ever. “It’s nice to see you haven’t changed” he added, his eyes suddenly distant. Shigure could see the regret of all the time they missed together in Kureno’s eyes. Shigure used to like Kureno when they were younger, he liked having this little boy following him like a duck follow its mother. They could have been great friend if only he never took that place next to Akito and if Shigure wasn't terribly jealous. Even now, he still wondered why and how he took this place.

“Anyway, not that I want to chase you away, but how is your search for accommodation?” Said Shigure, changing the conversation. “Ah, you remember that house near of the forest you told me about, the place is indeed vacant. I have to do the formalities to get in and I will probably need to talk to Ren…Not that it please me” the man frowned. Thinking about Ren thrilled him and once again, he found himself worrying over Akito. He put his rice bowl down. “Shigure-nii, don’t you feel concerned?” Shigure rise his eyebrows up. “About Akito being alone…With Ren… I mean” he blushed “You probably saw some marks on her body…”

_You mean the marks I haven’t done?_ He did not say, he knows if he were to spurt the words, it will go out with contempt. Kureno really wanted to talk about Akito and Shigure wished he would stop. Couldn’t he get the hint that Shigure did not want to have this conversation? Even after weeks. Unless he did get it and Kureno decided to push the limit until he would get answers. If that was the case, Shigure had to admit he was impressed by Kureno’s guts. But they could be two to play this game. “Well, of course I’m concerned, like you are.” He just said so Kureno couldn’t add more. They both finished their foods in silence and Kureno cleared the table.

He had told to Shigure that when he was living with Akito, he was the one doing the duty as cleaning the house or clearing the table. Ren and the maids neglected Akito’s rooms. He had told him that since Akito liked things being tidy and made sure it stood that way, all that Kureno needed to do was dusting their rooms. It was clearly different from cleaning Shigure’s kitchen and bathroom. He took him two entire days to clean up the house. And since he had this information about her, Shigure was been day dreaming in his office. He already suspected Akito being a fanatical neat but now that Kureno confirmed this information, Shigure couldn’t help but imagine even more their daily domestic life.

Without a doubt, she will be behind him to clean the mess he will do, ready to yell and force him to clear it up. To made her enraged, he will without a doubt, making more mess in purpose. It was her fault to be adorable when angry. He knows she will respect his office and leave him in his trash. However, she will assuredly won’t allow that for the rest of the house, their house. The one they would be sharing. Ah, Shigure have been imagining it, idealizing it for months. He wanted to be in that place he cherished with her soon. He was ready to abandon everything else, but she, would she be?

Yawning and thanking Kureno, Shigure moved back in his office and continued to write. Today he won’t tease Mitsuru, because he had most important things to think about and to do instead of amusing himself from her scream. He hoped she won’t worry for him; he knew how important were habit and Shigure didn’t wanted Mitchan to think he was sick. Humming, he took out one of his property magazines he searched in and flipped a page open. He looked in details the rent for apartment in Anjou city.

He barely had the time to try to take the phone that the door of his office slid open loudly that Shigure was scared it would fall out. Mitsuru was here, standing just in the middle of way so Shigure wouldn’t try to run away. She had a tired expression mixed with craziness. “Sen-sensei, today I won’t let you escape! Now, give me your drafts” she said, her body shaking in emotion. Ah, Mitsuru was so nice to him, he didn’t even need to prepare any scheme to make her react as he wanted to amuse him.

“Of course Mitchan, it’s here~” he said, waving the papers as a taunt. Her eyes narrowed, it wouldn’t be the first time he would give her in purpose the wrong papers and sneak out, the time to notice the sentences were copied words from the famous Futabatei Shimei’s book _Ukigumo._ She slowly took the paper and started to read, still up and looking back to Shigure from time to time, making sure the devil was still on the chair.

She verified all the pages quickly and when she assured herself that there were nothing coming up and she sat at the chabudai and started to do her work, tears in the eyes. “Oh my god, sensei, thank you for doing your work today! I don’t know if you planned something but thank you so much!!!” she sobbed and Shigure couldn’t hold back a childish giggle. “Haw! Mitchan, to hear you, it sounds like I’m make you living a hell haha!” Mitchan sobbed louder when she remembered all her stress that was pilling up because of this man. Shigure had to wait a few minutes for her weeps to change into hiccups. He looked this shown while eating a tangerine.

While Mitsuru was reading seriously the last drafts, sometimes asking him why he used that kanji or that word in particular. Shigure put his glasses on and continued to wander his eyes through his books. He will need to call an agency soon, there was a house that caught his attention. “You know Mitchan” he called “It’s probably going to be my last book.” He said in a subtle smile. The woman turned her nose toward Shigure’s direction, eyes full like saucers. “Uh?” she succeeded to breathe, not quite understanding what her writer just said. Shigure did not repeat and gave her a huge beam.

It was at this moment Mitsuru realized all the books, the magazines, flyers and the map laying around the room. “Shigure-san will move somewhere?” she asked, still under shock. It was so sudden. It’s only when she will go home that she will understand she will probably never see that man again that she will scream in joy. But until then, she stood stunned. “Where?”

“Don’t know” he lied. “It’s a big world and Japan is vast. Maybe I could live overseas? That’s sound like an adventure? Don’t you think?” he said, excited like a five years old child and Mitsuru blinked even more. “I…I, but…Sensei, what about your books?! Your work?!” she almost screamed and Shigure winced, closing an eye. “Ahw, Mitchan, are you worried? I didn’t know you cared so much about me haha~”

“It’s because you are useless sensei!! How will you survive?!” She screamed and this time, Shigure had to put a finger in his ear. “Here, here Mitchan, it’s alright, I’m a big boy” he said carelessly and Mitsuru wanted to scream even more. Why that man was leaving a job that paid him well. As a Japanese woman, Mitsuru couldn’t understand. She stared a him a moment before Shigure reminded her about the drafts. She felt strange, she was reading probably one of the last drafts she was going to ever receive from that man. Then she suddenly remembered all the times she ran after him to get those damned drafts and she felt the need to strangle him hard.

Still, it felt strange to have Shigure that calm when he was usually whiny like a kid. She silently read until the final page and turned her head back to the writer. “Next chapter is the final one?” she asked silently. “But, which choice will she do??” the man simply smile “I don’t know yet, I hope soon.” He giggled and its infuriated Mitsuru. “what do you mean you don’t know yet?! It’s your story!” Shigure just shrugged, making a lips noise that irritated her. She left half of an hour after, the drafts in her bag.

“Mitchan, I will send you the last chapter when I finish it, so I guess it’s a bye-bye.” He simply said on the porch and Mitsuru eyes went full again. She bowed and left, showing her back to the man. Shigure sighed. It was his first farewell. He felt a little sad to see his favorite toy leaving, but he knew it was for the best. He hoped he will be strong enough when it will be time to say goodbye to his mabudachi and family. He turned back in his house, he had to think about that final chapter and which ending he and Akito will go through.

Hours after, he and Kureno were both at the living room unde the chabudai, him reading the news paper and Kureno watching the TV, or at least, looked like -his eyes weren’t focused; they both turned their heads simultaneously at the door. Somebody had knocked. Kureno looked at Shigure. “You were waiting for somebody?” he asked quietly and Shigure just shrugged before standing up. “Well, I called Haa-san a few days ago, but he did not answer me. Maybe he came instead?” he thought aloud. “Unless it’s Aaya, it’s been a while since I saw him, aaah~ my dear darling, I miss him” he mused before opening the door and stared

“Well, if it’s isn’t a surprise. What’s brought you here?” Shigure asked in a beam, giggling pleasantly. “Tsk! Just let us in bastard!” answered Kyo, visibly annoyed to be out under the rainy weather. “Sure, sure, make yourself at home.” He took a step back, allowing his guests in the genkan.

“Thank you for receiving us Shigure-san.” Said Tohru in a bow, he simply made a gesture of the hand. “It’s alright Tohru-kun, I’m always happy to see both of you” he genuinely smiled and then petted Tohru’s head. He stopped when he heard Kyo groaning a muffled ‘don’t touch her perv’ and he simply rolled his eyes. “You want some tea, we already made some.”

Kyo face lost its color “ ‘We’…Is Ayame here?” He asked in a silently, fear in the eyes and a part of Shigure wanted to mood him. But the other part of him probably wanted to enjoy the few moments left with the boy, so he didn't tease the boy. “Haha, no, but I’m housing somebody.” The man made a gesture of the chin to invite the two teenagers further in his house and then walked to the living room where Kureno was standing up.

Tohru squealed in delight by seeing the man and bowed while Kyo just frowned. “What’s wrong Kyon-chan, you don’t recognize your cousin?” Teased Shigure, knowing well that Kyo probably never saw Kureno. He wasn’t allowed in the new-year banquet, they never had the occasion to meet. However, Kyo groaned and walked beside him to sit at the table after presenting himself to the man, the movement reminded Shigure that old grumpy cat wandering behind his high school. Kureno followed the boy and sat back at his place. Shigure studied the sight in front of him and remembered that neither Kyo nor Tohru told him the reason they came for.

“Tohru wanted to ask you something and since she didn’t know where you live, so I accompanied her.” Explained Kyo, almost cavalier, pouring a cup of tea to warm to freezing fingers. Shigure eyebrows went up and he looked at Tohru who was twisting her fingers anxiously. He smirked. Kyo was really cute as a boy in love and Tohru naivety was adorable, he was going to miss it. He hoped they would have a future together…Sadly, the curse made it otherwise. He almost wanted to comfort them, but it wasn’t his role.

“Y-yes…Can I talk to you in private?” she asked in a small voice, before getting closer to him and tip-toed herself up to his ear to whisper ‘it’s about Akito-san’ that made Shigure carefree expression disappear. He quickly rolled his eyes to the two men at the table. Kureno wasn’t caring about what was happening and put his attention back on the TV while Kyo was sending him deathly glare, probably jealous to see Tohru being so close of somebody that wasn’t him.

“Oi what you two are you doing?!” he almost yelled and Tohru blushed of anxiety and Shigure plastered another smiling face on his features. “I can’t tell Kyon-kun, it’s a secret between me and Tohru-kun only! If you want to get into the secret, you have to do a test of courage!” Kyo groaned irritated “A test of courage? Are you nine years old?! Oi!” He called when he saw Shigure taking Tohru in another piece. The girl bowed and apologized telling that she needed to talk to Shigure in private.

They walked in the hallway, near of his bedroom. They stood a moment like that, Shigure crossed his arms and Tohru searched her words. “I…It’s um…As you know, I’m a maid at the main house and” she started and Shigure rested his back against the wall. “I’ve met Akito-san yesterday, we talked a lot.” She continued. “She is forced to stay in her house so she won’t meet you anymore…” she explained and she looked like she was near of tears. Shigure looked at her and smiled gently, patting her head “Hey Tohru-kun, why are you crying?”

“It’s just that…It’s unfair, because Akito-san and Shigure-san really does love each other and…You can’t meet anymore…It’s…” she tried to blink her tears away. “It’s so sad! And Unfair!” She bowed her head. “She really misses Shigure-san…” she sounded like she wanted to say more but decided against it.

He looked away, his eyes staring at the wall in front of him. He put his hand under his chin and hummed. “Thank you Tohru-kun, it must have been hard huh?” he said in unhabitual genuine kindness. “Keeping it for yourself, it’s dangerous isn’t it? If Ren were to know, it would end badly. Not only for you, Akito or me, but also to Kyo-kun or Yuki-kun.” Tohru nodded.

“Maybe…But I felt I needed to do something…Since Shigure-san and Akito-san won’t ever meet again…it’s so sad.” She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and Shigure hushed her like a father would do. “Tohru-kun, what tell you that I won’t see her again?” he asked and Tohru was confused. “But…Madam Ren…”

“Ah! I won’t let Ren be between me and Akito, my little star!” He said, winking, his playful act back. “I’m a writer, I live to nourish this flame of passion that is love!” he laughed and Tohru wiped her tears off. “Really?! I’m so glad! If I can be useful to you in any way, please tell me!” she said in enthusiasm and Shigure eyes narrowed, a plan suddenly blooming in his mind, like a flower on the path.

“Actually Tohru-kun…I think I may have something to ask you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ukigumo or, as translated in english, the drifting cloud, is a classical novel written by Futabatei Shimei, it is considered as one of the first novel written in modern japanese.


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter everybody was waiting for, please enjoy <3

Akito looked through the window with melancholy, holding her haori tighter around her body. Even though she had moved her futon in Kureno’s old room, she was still cold. Since that day she had eaten with Tohru, Akito tried to pull herself together. But it was a very hard thing to do when she had no company nor contact with the outside. All she had in this house was books that she already read a thousand time and files that Kureno had snatched from Ren’s office. Akito was surprised that woman did not notice their absences.

However, she was depressed and she wanted to do nothing. Tohru was sometime coming to serve her meals but she couldn’t stay. It was a vicious circle. Her only comfort was that Shigure was now aware of the situation. Tohru did not tell her much since then. Each time she was coming, it was at pair with another maid and they couldn’t talk privately without being suspicious. Plus, Tohru was just a high school girl, she did not have time to be with Akito. It was like Yuki. Akito hoped that Tohru told him too what was happening and that he was sad, or at least that he cared. No, of course he must have cared, she was his god, her existence was important to him, wasn’t it?

_‘Nobody needs you’_ Ren voice echoed in the icy room, making Akito shiver in loath and she held her head between her hands, pulling at her hair. “Shut up-ts’ not true ”she answered in the emptiness of the place. As if the voice of her mother will answer and to attack her, she hid into the futon she had set on the floor, searching to ease herself and her fears.

She remembered being younger and seeking comfort in Kureno’s arms the night and sliding in his futon when nobody was watching. Kureno never lectured her about it, but he did not approve neither. He just let it slid and put her back in her own futon in her room before she woke up. Tears cornered Akito’s eyes at the memory. Kureno was a liar, he told her he was going to stay until she didn’t need him anymore and yet, he left her. She was alone, all alone and nobody cared, nobody needed her.

In spite of herself, she sobbed in her pillow until sleeping. She woke up hours later by a faint knock on the door. “Akito-san, are you here? It’s Tohru! ”Called the girl voice. Blinking and rubbing her eyes, still sleepy, she stood up and walked to the door to glide it open. She was welcomed by Tohru's bright smile. “Hello Akito-san! Had nice dream? ”Her gentle voice was so soft, it made Akito grump. If she were to give an answer, she would say that it was rare she remembered her dreams, and when she did, it was mostly nightmare. Here, alone in the dark. Sometime she heard animals voice being muffled by Ren scream. She hated those dreams.

“I was worried, you weren’t in your room, I thought the worst happened.” She added, leading Akito to the living room. The woman rolled her eyes, wasn’t Tohru aware that the worst already happened? Nothing could be worse than what she was living now, not even death. Akito knew if this continued, she was going to end up crazy. She just wanted to be with somebody who cared about her, somebody who loved her and would be present when she needed them. She wanted Shigure, right now.

She quickly shook her head. Don’t think about him, you’re going to cry, you’re going to scream, you don’t want to show Tohru any weakness. No, no more, she already showed her way too much in her taste. “Today meal is eggrolls and kaarage, I heard that you like it.” Said Tohru in delight, surprising Akito. She blushed, thinking it must have been Shigure who told Tohru about that. Little she knew that it was actually Kureno who told her when the girl told him she had the privilege to see Akito, as one of the main house maids.

The two girls sat at each side of the table. Akito was glad that Tohru could stay with her today. "It's because today is weekend" she explained. Akito thought how strange that the maids trusted Tohru enough to allow the girl to share a meal with her after all the disaster provoked by the ‘Wednesday out-day’. Then, Akito remembered that she told her that they trusted her because they considered that Tohru was at their side. Akito would have agreed if the girl haven’t talked to her about the zodiac. And… For Akito, Tohru was the only link left between her and Shigure.

If Akito were to give a role to Tohru, it would be a messenger bird. Free to fly whenever they want yet used as tool. Well, Akito won’t complain about it, if Tohru hadn’t been here at the good moment, Akito wondered what she would have become. Sometime, it felt like nothing mattered for her anymore, not even her bonds. She felt like it was starting to disappear slowly, it scared her. Sometime, she felt like she could hear the god whispered in her ears, begging to not forget, begging to think about his friends. But Akito was tired, tired, tired. She just wanted to be free. She just wanted to go out, to tears off the bandages around her chest and wear dresses. She wanted to run after Shigure and take a boat to go away, in another country, where Ren won’t find her.

Each time she thought about that, the god could find nothing to say, to change her mind. Because the god too used to live like Akito did. The difference was that he had his friends, the animals of the zodiacs who promised the eternity of a banquet. The girl had nothing she was alone. When Akito was busy crying, the god remembered how lonely he used to be before meeting Cat and he wondered if it was this promised eternity that hurt her so bad. But…the god couldn’t leave before biding a last farewell to all his faithful friends, he wouldn’t allow Akito to go without seeing them. It was his only condition, no that Akito could know it. The only link between his spirit and the girl was their feelings.

“Tell me Akito-san, aren’t you cold in here? It’s freezing. Do you want me to bring you more blanket? It would be bad if you ended sick…” Said Tohru but Akito simply rested her cheek in her palm. Actually, Akito wasn’t against the idea of ending ill, maybe Hatori will come if she did. The man hasn’t come here since the day Kureno have been fired. She heard later that the reason he wasn’t coming was because he was busy with work and that he was helping at one of the Sohma clinic.

Tohru did not force her to finish her plate, she simply clears the table with a smile and then she looked at the closed shoji doors that were giving to the garden. “Shall we go out?” she asked and Akito simply nodded. The teenager opened the doors in a happy fuss and Akito was surprised that outside was less cold than she thought it would be, she even had the impression it was warmer. Tohru wandering around the garden. It was big enough and more than giving to the living room, they could go in Akito’s bedroom from here.

Tohru walked to the wall followed by Akito. “Tell me Akito-san, you never tried to escape by the wall?” she asked quietly, as scared that somebody could heard them. Akito frowned and turned her to the rampart that was separating her to the outside. It felt like she looked at it for the first time in years. “Strange…In my memories, it was taller…” she muttered, placing her palm against the cold rock. She used to have the thought of climbing that wall, but she was too small and by the time her body did grow up, Kureno had already moved in and she had stopped to think about going out, forgetting. She thought that Kureno would be a constant in her life.

“If only there was a ladder or something…” voiced Tohru, visibly in thought and making Akito roll her eyes. “Obviously there isn’t, let's go back inside.” She grumped, crossing her arm and leaving the girl in the garden. She decided to move her futon back in her room and to have another nap. It was all she could now anyway. When she woke up, Tohru was already gone and she had left a note on the table in the living room. Akito was ready to put it in the trash when she noticed that on the paper there were different handwritings. Curious, she sat down on a zabuton and read it.

All of this were words from the zodiacs. She couldn’t believe it at first, but she recognized Yuki’s handwriting, and that little drawing of a rabbit with the pink letters, it was from the cursed of the namesake animal? Shivering, she read it again and again. Tears of slowly gathering around her black eyes and lips pursed to hold back any sobs threatening to go out. Yuki was telling her to watch out for her health, knowing how fragile she was. The tiger Kisa and the sheep Hiro, shared the same space and told her how much they desired to meet her. Momiji -the pink rabbit, was talking about his day and saying how much he had wanted Akito to be with him to live that little adventure. He had used a lot of space in comparison to others. The ox, Hatsuharu he was called, written about food, saying how annoyed he was that the new year banquet has been canceled. Kagura the boar as replying to Hatsuharu, said she wished that all the zodiac and Akito could eat shabu-shabu together. Akito found cute the way she drew hearts and smiling faces around her words. Even the cat Kyo took his time to write kind word for Akito.

Sniffing, she brought the paper against her chest. They were thinking about her, she was not forgotten by her zodiacs. She wanted to run outside and to meet each one of them. She had noticed that most of the cursed haven’t wrote on the paper. She knew that Hatori wasn’t here, that Kureno was probably now far, far away and that the dog left her, a part of Akito wished that the dog would had apologized -it still hurt to remember the betrayal; However, the snake, the horse and also the monkey were missing. It was half of the zodiacs, it could have been dispiriting, yet it was also saying that the other half was thinking about her, that she was still important, loved by them. That for the moment, it all that mattered to the god inside her. When she calmed down, she quickly ran to her room to hide the precious paper in her treasure box.

When was the last she took it out? It must have been since that last Wednesday she has been out. Since the last she saw him…Shigure…

She bowed her head; all her joy had now disappeared for the pain and sadness that the lack of Shigure made her feel. It hurt so much. Searching in her box, she pulled out Shigure’s scarf, the same one he gave her last year and moved it to her nose. Of course, his smell had disappeared, but she was still lulled into the impression that he was close to her, it used to be his. She wasn’t different from the girls she read about in light novels. Well, she was a girl and she was in love and she was heart-broken, she had nothing to be ashamed of.

Putting all her treasures back in the box and then in the closet, she decided to study a bit, Shigure’s scarf around her neck. While sorting out all the files that Kureno had stolen from her, Akito discovered the password and the papers needed to access to the whole family bank account. She felt annoyed, why was she discovering that kind of thing too late. If she noticed it before, maybe she could have found a way to go out before all of it happened. She frowned and turned slightly her head toward her closet where she had hidden her zodiac letter…No, she couldn’t leave, she had to find another way out.

She sighed, perfectly annoyed by the situation and her thoughts. Not feeling it anymore, she put her papers away. Guess she could forget about studying. She rolled her eyes and let her body fall back on her futon, putting her arm across her face, she stared lazily the ceiling, because she did not have the force to do otherwise. In spite of her, she thought about her lover -were they still lovers? Akito wondered painfully. Was Shigure trying to find a way to meet her or did he already move on? She hoped not. Call her possessive, but she wanted Shigure to stay faithful to her until the day she sees him again. If he dared to cheat on her…

Akito bit her lip and rolled on the side. No, don’t think about it, don’t think about Shigure, _don’t._

She waited hours after the sun set down to stand up and switch the light on. Then she walked into the living in aim to search for matchstick to light the candles. she noticed the plates left on the table. They weren’t there before she retired herself in her room, the maids probably had left her dinner here and they did not bother to inform her. She reluctantly sat and took her chopsticks between her fingers, touching the rice with the tip of the sticks. For sure, Tohru wasn’t the one for prepared tonight meal. Pushing the rice bowl away, she took a piece of chopped meat between her sticks and sniffed it before frowning and putting it back in the plate. If she had few appetites before, she totally lost it.

Giving up, she preferred to go back on her quest to light the candles of her house wing. That basically meant the living room, Kureno old’s room and hers. She won’t go to the bathroom tonight after all. All the lighting felt eerie. However, she did not dislike the ambiance. It suited her mood; she was wandering in the house like a ghost. Ironic for her who was meant to be a god to act like a phantom. She wondered how long before she became an onryou and avenge herself.

She sat languidly on the zabuton next to the book shelf and grabbed a book, a classical poetry collection from Bashou. She let her eyes wander on the numerous Haiku. She never has been into that kind of poesy. Haiku were words of fleeting sensation, Akito aspired for eternity. Her fingers slowly traced the written words of the book.

冬枯れや|世は一色に|風の音

_‘Winter withering, the world is monochrome, in the sound of the wind._ _’ _She read aloud in a whisper before a sudden sound in her garden made her jump in surprise. Confused and panicked, she looked at the closed shoji doors with wide eyes for a few seconds before putting her book away and take a candle. She hesitantly slid the door open, looking into the darkness in her garden, unsure. She listened intently the night, searching for any odd noise.

Still unsure, she dared to take a step in the cold grass and held back a shiver. “Is somebody here?” she asked, uncertain. She pulled the candle higher to try to catch the sight of something strange and noticed something moving against the wall. Frowning she walked determinately toward it and was surprised to find a dog blinking hardly and struggling to stood up on its paws, it was completely knocked out, barely conscious.

Akito was ready to ask out of surprise where this dog come from when she noticed clothes around the poor disoriented animal. Awareness gradually showed on her face as she was lowering down the arm that was holding the candle. She knew the effect of the curse had on the zodiacs, but it was the first time she saw one of them transformed. Indeed, in front of her stood the cursed of the spirit of the dog, the same one who betrayed her months ago. Akito was ready to scream at it, ready to throw that betrayer out of her garden by herself. The dog suddenly snapped out when noticing Akito presence and opened its muzzle but Akito did not care.

A feminine and rough voice stopped her before she could act and called her. “Young Master what are you doing in the garden?!” she scolded, irritating Akito more than the dog presence here. Cliquing her tongue, she roughly answered to the maid “Nothing, can’t I go in my own garden without being bothered?!” she roared. She maid stood silent and turned back inside to clear the table. She indicated her leave by switching off the light.

Akito slowly rolled her eyes back on the animal who sat quietly in front of her, waiting for her to talk. She frowned, showing her annoyance. That damned mutt dared to wag its tail. A freeze wind passed, threatening to blow the candle, she protected the little light with her hand.

“You came back quickly, for somebody who said he’s leaving me.” She said with venom in the voice, the dog looked amused. It was like Akito could see it smirk, she snorted and the dog stood up, walking at her. She heard it muttered a pained “ouch- my tail!” and her heart beat faster. She recognized that voice and she steep back, fearing that she was hearing things. But this voice, she could recognize it everywhere…It was…

In her confusion, Akito let the candle fall in the grass, blowing it out and when a ‘pouf’ and a green smoke appeared. As if her body was rejecting the truth, her legs turned around, trying to run back in her house but were stopped in their escape by a rough hand grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her back against a hard chest. His arms wrapped around her frail body and she was shivering in emotion. “Where are you running young girl?” asked the playful voice that Akito had missed for weeks.

She quietly turned her head toward his. She did not notice she was holding her breath until she gasped when she saw her lover face illuminated by the moon. “Hey…” Shigure just called, smiling gently.

Hesitant, she slowly moved her hand to his cheek, touching the cold skin. It was him; he was here, just by her side. Akito could almost cry of it really, if only the fact that he was the dog who had betrayed her wasn’t staying painfully in her mind. Feeling her anger rising and it being stronger than her joy, she slapped him hard enough for him to wince, making him break their hug of reunion. Angrier than ever he did not have the time to pull himself together that Akito was rushing on him again, claws out and ready to tear his skin. He caught her wrists and held them high. She wriggled, trying to break free, her ego out of the window.

“Akito calm down, they going to come back!” he scolded and she yell her rage. He was a liar. She given him all her trust and love and he lied to her. “Since when?! Tell me!!” she repeated again and again and Shigure roughly stick her to the wall and put his palm her on her mouth, muffling her screams. They stood in that position, him maintaining her until she calmed and stopped to struggle. When he removed his hand, she slapped him a second time, her cheeks red from humiliation and rage.

“Are you finished?” he asked with an exasperated tone, massaging his cheek. “Don’t use that tone with me!” she talked back, still angry. She felt her nails planting in her palms. He looked at her for a few seconds before kneeling down and putting his underwear and his kimono. “Alright” he just said and Akito frowned, taking a step further. “I can see when my presence is unwelcomed” he put a foot on a rope ladder -where it come from? Who put it here? Akito did not have the time to ask those questions to herself. Instead she rushed to Shigure’s side and took him by the sleeve, looking at him with a desperate look that begged him to stay. “Don’t leave me…Not again…” she said breathlessly. Quietly, he moved his hand away from the ladder and held tight Akito against him, he was crushing her with his strength to the point she felt like her bones would crack yet, she did not try to stop him and in the opposite, she snuggled closer.

Breathing in his natural perfume that she missed so much, she did not notice she was shivering from the cold. “Akito, we should go in, you’re freezing.” He said gently, removing his arms. She took a step back, watching him closely, scared that he could leave if she blinked for a mere second. Shigure chuckled and caressed her cheek. “Let me in, Akito-san?” he tilted his head charmingly, he was beautiful under the moonlight.

She turned her back and walked inside, sometime looking back and making sure he was still following her, still with her. She stepped in her living room and put her finger on her mouth, signalizing Shigure to stay quiet and she led him to her bedroom, where nobody will hear them. Shigure looked around with curiosity. The picture was strange for Akito, because she never imagined, even in her wildest dreams, to see her man in the middle of her room. She felt her anger rise again when she remembered this man to be more than be a Sohma -so a part of her family, but he was also a cursed, one of her zodiacs! Goddamnit!

She frowned with rage walked to him. “Since when do you know?” she asked fiercely, sticking him. Shigure smirked. “Know what?” he said in an innocent voice, he knew that it annoyed her, feigning ignorance. She grabbed him by the collar and ah- she noticed it was the first time she saw him in traditional clothe, she liked seeing him in that unfamiliar shape but her anger prevented her to care about it at the moment. “Don't play the fool! Since when do you know you are…You know!” she couldn’t say it, it was too absurd. He couldn’t be…That was too far-fetched!!

He smiley derisorily and cupped her hand that was holding the cloth. “that you are Akito Sohma, the god of the zodiac? Not that long to be honest.” He laughed “Oh Akito, don’t frown like that, it’s not pretty on you, ah, just kidding!” he said and she planted her nails in his skin through the kimono and he smirked even more. That moron was having fun her expenses. “Really Akito, you don’t remember when I was barely touching you?” he asked softly, stroking her cheek with care.

“That-!” she gasped and remembered in an instant. That’s true that his behavior with her changed out of nowhere, it was around the time she had won her plush. “Well, now you understand why I wasn’t, right?” he winked and she glared at him with a hard look. Yes, that made sense but… “Why didn’t told me before then?!” she spat and he closed his eyes, tilting his head in amusement. “Oh, I tried my dear, numerous time! Don’t you remember?” he bent down and whispered in her ear. “But before I could talk, you were always kissing me or wriggling your hips wildly to keep me silent.” She blushed immediately. “Not that I disliked it, but since you didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t force you” he shrugged.

“Bu-but then why did you leave me! That day…In the courtroom!!” Shigure mouthed a ‘o’ before sneering. “Well, I told you, didn’t I? That I have to make a choice?” he answered and Akito could see love and affection in his expression and voice, but it was contrasting with his smirk and she couldn’t understand a word of that he was saying. His smile grew wider and he moved his hands down to her waists. “For more than twenty years I’ve been waiting to see you.”

Even though he said that in a sweet, lovable voice, Akito felt like a prey in his embrace. He was the cursed of the dog, yet right now he had the look of a wolf. He kissed her cheek with his mouth half open. Her breath was caught in her throat. “Mm, it was long, but I’ve been patient and really, I was so angry when I realized who you were…For real.” He chuckled warmly, making her moan in delight. “I left you the first time because I wanted to be faithful to my god.” He explained, bringing her hand to his mouth and he rested his lips on her knuckles. He looked princely if he wasn’t for the look of possessiveness that was characteristic to villain kidnapping the damsel in distress. “And the second time to be with you.” He confessed.

She removed her hand roughly snapping out. Shigure was confused for half of a second before falling back on his usual stupid look. “Still…How could you!! I- We…We are linked!!” she was lost, didn’t he feel that bond at all? And what about her…Why she didn’t feel it? The first time she met Yuki, they both cried…But, she felt nothing for Shigure but trust… “Ah…It’s maybe because we already met before, a long time ago~ Didn’t Haa-san told you?” she frowned, not understanding “Before you dad died…With Haa-san, Kureno and Aaya. You remember Ayame? I presented you, he is the one who made your dress.”

Akito eyes widened, Ayame was a cursed too. Who, which one? She did not know, she couldn’t tell! Why she didn’t feel the bond?! She was her god, what was that for. As if Shigure could read in her mind he chuckled “Ayame is the snake.” Akito bowed her head and hug herself. Did Shigure realized how he just destroyed her world worse than Ren ever did? “Still…”

“Hum?” Shigure blinked and Akito squeezed her fist. “Still you did not have to left me like that!!” She couldn’t forgive him saying upfront he was leaving her. The pain she had felt that day…She won’t forget it, never. He stopped smiling and his expression became grave. “If I were given the choice to do it again, I would.” He scratched his nape and she gasped in shock. “What?! What did you say!!” She almost yelled, heart-broken. Why, why was he telling her that? Why was he so cruel?

Shigure smiled and wiped off a tear she did not notice she poured. “I said I would do it a second time, without hesitating.” She smacked his hand away, rage in the eyes. “Why are you so cruel with me?!” she screamed and she was glad that her wall was holding any sound. His smile did not fail. “Cruel? I thought that you would prefer being loved for who you are than because of a curse.” She gasped, suddenly understanding what he was trying to tell her since he walked in this room. She bit her lips, humiliated. Why he was always speaking in enigma? Couldn’t he be more direct like she was? 

“Here Akito, still angry?” he asked, coming at once more at charge and taking her in his arms. This time she let him do and she even leant her cheek on his shoulder. “Shut up, I hate when you do that” she hissed before wrapping her two fragile arms around his back, embracing him. Shigure kissed her forehead and chuckled. “Yeah, I know”

For the first time in weeks, they kissed. He held her tighter and she opened her mouth, letting his tongue slid in. One of her hand migrated to his hair while the other clung to the kimono. She moaned in his mouth as she was kissing him back as strongly as she had missed him. As, it felt so, so good! Shigure’s hands were downing back on her buttock and she hissed a soft laugh between the hot-mouthed kisses “Heh, you don’t miss a trick huh…” Shigure scoffed at her lips and kissed her one last time before moving on her jaw. She closed her eyes in delight. “Well, I did miss you.”

Humming in pleasure at him sucking her neck, she stroked his hair before pulling him by the collar to her futon where she forced him to lie, on the top of her. They kissed messily, the need and the desire they had kept for themselves the last weeks, maybe months, finally erupting and they clung to each other forcefully, biting and scratching the skins. Akito shifted a bit to slide down Shigure’s kimono and then she caressed his torso before kissing it.

She kissed his chin and neck hot-mouthed, provoking a warm and rasp chuckle from him. Then she licked all along his throat, teasing his adam’s apple before moving on his pecs, her fingers tracing with her nails the dark line of his pubic hair. Shigure took her wrist before she could slide it in his boxer and she moaned grumpily. She looked back at him, her eyes full of lust. Shigure must have found her really lewd by the sight of her expression because she felt him hardening against her knee.

They kissed again and she held his face still, playing with his tongue. They separated in a loudly ‘smock’ and he licked his lips afterward, like an animal in front of a delicious dish. Without her noticing, he undressed her of her kimono, the clothes were now laying at the other side of the room, and pushed her on the futon. Each one of their actions was showing carnal desire and Akito felt even more wet than ever. She moaned loudly when his tongue came to caress her sensible part through her underwear. She had to put her hand on her mouth.

“I have to be honest. I prefer you in panty than in boxer.” He smirked, his eyes dark, aroused. He removed the masculine underwear and plunged his head between her legs while a hand went higher, palming a breast. Akito shook her head aimlessly, not knowing what to do with the hot sensation of his tongue rimming her in and out, teasing her clit. She spread her legs even more and grabbed Shigure by the hair, keeping him close.

She whimpered and bit her lips to keep silent. His breath and licks were making her go drunk in pleasure. She was bucking her hips unconsciously and she was begging him to continue, calling his name helplessly. She missed it so much that now she has what she desired; she didn’t want to let it go. Akito felt herself being on the edge of her pleasure when Shigure retired his face and straighten himself up on his elbows. She moaned in loss, tears threatening to fall when he kissed her cheek with his warm breath. “No… No that!” She sobbed, she wanted to come and she was now frustrated, and she knew Shigure did it in purpose.

He chuckled and kissed a breast before resting his nose between them. She panted hard when he started to rub himself against her slicks already half open in excitation. Fuck, she wanted him in, she wanted him to makes a mess out of her, to take her by the waist and moving roughly like he usually do. But instead, he stubbornly rubbed the entrance of hers and she clawed his back, pleading him to ravage her. She saw him gulp, his adam’s apple moving mesmerizingly and she licked it. She was satisfied when she heard him jolt, feeling him having goosebumps under her touch. He embraced her close, French kissing her -and wow, she could taste herself; before moving his lips on her drenched forehead. “Akito… I don’t have condoms” he explained in a breath “But, I’m clean, I promise.” Oh god, he was as desperate as her. She nodded vividly and slid two fingers on her pussy, opening it.

Shigure eyes went darker and then, without asking a second time if she was alright with it, he slid in. Even if she was wet from the stimulation and the foreplay, she was tighter. It’s been so long since the last time they did it and it felt. Her head was starting to get dizzy again as he started moving. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around him. Having his raw cock was so different and it felt so, so good! "Ah! Yes, right there!!” she moaned in a wrecked breath.

He removed her arms and pinned her wrists down as he straightened him back. Akito could see him move madly between her two legs. She moved her hips as well in rhythm with his and she bit her lips suddenly as she came, her head threw in her pillow and her back arching. Shigure retired himself directly after, letting her inside pulsing lively around the emptiness of hers. She felt frustration rising for an orgasm that didn’t last long. Shigure quickly stroked himself, moaning in a way that Akito found adorable and he ejaculated on stomach, covering her skin in white jizz. Ah, that's why he withdrew? She felt her annoyance disappear as he wiped the cum with a tissue.

She moved her hands on his cheeks and then put a bang of his hair behind his ear. He smiled charmingly and kissed her wrist before collapsing on her. She lazily placed a hand on his back, using the other to stroke his hair. They were both panting, exhausted but happy. Shigure kissed her nose before putting the blanket on them. She snuggled right unto his chest and she blinked sleepily, resting her cheek on his pec while he was caressing the milky skin of her back. She rose her head to look at him and blushed when she saw the expression he had while looking at her. Embarrassed, she hid her face back in his chest.

They stood in silence, enjoying each other presence after that long absence. However, a dark thought crossed her mind and she frowned. “What’s wrong?” He asked, stopping his caresses. Akito lips went downward and she straightened herself, looking at him. “You will be gone as soon as I will fall asleep.”_ And I will be alone._

She pulled the blanket to her chest, searching a form of comfort in it and stared at the distance. She heard him move and feel his strong arms embrace the small shape of her body. “I will come back.” He said softly before pulling her back on the futon. They talked for a little hour after and in spite of herself, she closed her eyes and fall asleep. When she opened them, it was morning and she was alone.

“Come back soon…”


	33. chapter 32

He removed the blanket and kissed Akito face. He put his underwear and looked at his watch, he could allow himself to stay here again for a few hours. He turned his attention on Akito sleeping form and smiled contently by the sight of the red spots he has left all over her white skin. They were back to their lovable routine, him breaking into her house when the night fall and leaving before the sun rise. Sadly, he couldn’t come see her every night and she wasn’t hiding the fact that she hated it. He understood that she was scared he might never come back, she had nothing for reassuring herself.

It was the best he could do, until the day he will take her away from this cave and run away under the sun. He yawned and stretched his arms, not noticing reddish marks from their love-making that Akito had engraved with her nails, and decided to take a look around while she was asleep. He opened her closet, wondering if she only has male clothes and underwear, making a face when he saw the obvious answer: Ren was controling her life until her way of dressing.

He thought that the moment they will run away, he will buy her as many dresses and skirts and clothes she wanted to wear, those who will pleaser her. He couldn’t wait to see her happy and free of every bond that was maintaining her in that state. He came to an evidence, since the day he had understood he was finally with the goddess he wished to be with since he was a little kid; that evidence was that the curse was breaking, it was ineluctable, and Shigure wanted to be by her side when it will break. He refused the idea of her going through this alone and locked in this house way too cold.

Shigure sighed and put his forehead down against the wood of the shelf. He noticed in the darkness a shape and moved his hand up on it to take it out. His eyebrows went up “A box?” he muttered to himself before opening it. He was welcomed by a sweet smell and saw different trinkets. He put his hand on a paper and read a few words, recognizing Momi-chan handwriting, he put it away, deciding it was way too personal for him to read without her authorization. It was just a few words -probably from his youngest cousins- saying how much Akito was important to them.

He pulled out a necklace and recognized the present he gave her. Call him possessive, but when he was seeing her wearing it around her delicious neck, he was pleased by the feeling saying that this person was taken, that she was his. Like a dog marking his territory. The worst of this feeling was that he knew it was something from him and not from the dog's spirit, and that he was conscious of it. Wanting to know more about the treasures in this box he continued to rummage in.

He pulled out funny little toys -he was sure he had exactly the same when he was a still a five-year-old; a perfume, withered flowers. He smirked when he saw volumes of light novels, recognizing some as those he had written and then, his hands found more papers that were at the bottom of the box. He felt under his hands of writer that the papers were older. He thought at first it was like another pile of document but his attention has been caught when he read in spite of him the first word written, the title. “The caged-princess.”

It was old, but the way the letters were written, the content of the story. No doubt, it was his. It felt awkward to read his first works. He found the wording so clumsy, inexperienced. It was bad, really. He was probably twelve or thirteen when he had written it, but it was so gauche from him that was now writing more seriously. Yet, a little boy in him jumped of joy and ran around aimlessly, excited and cheering loudly, like a big scream. She had read the stories he had written just for her and nobody else.

Licking unconsciously his lips and his fingers trembling in emotions. His heart was beating way too hard for his comfort in his cage, he sorted out more of those papers and his eyes widened in rediscovering his very first story, about parfait. Shigure couldn’t help but palming his face, blushing in embarrassment. He was so absorbed that he did not heard Akito waking up and crawling over him until she wrapped her naked arms around his chest, he jolted in surprise and looked at her.

They both stayed silent and she moved even closer, sticking her soft breasts just against his shaped back. She rubbed them without noticing and she went to rest her cheek on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, composing himself, he has to or they would be doing it again and they already used all the condoms he had brought tonight. She let her fingers wander around his chest lazily, she was still a little dizzy from her nap. “You wrote it, didn’t you?” Her voice was deep and drowsy. Shigure felt goosebumps all along his body as her breath touched his ear. He was so sensitive here, did she know? Oh, she probably did, by the way she was all on it, kissing, whispering, licking when they were having sex.

To answer, Shigure just smiled and kissed her forehead. She languidly shifted her body over his, moving like a cat and sat on his laps. He gently rested his wrists on the little of her back after putting the papers on the floor. They rubbed their noses and she put her face back on the crook of his shoulder, her breath tickling him. “You know when the maids found me, they have been very rash on me.” He told, reminding of his youth. Akito made a little sound as she nodded. “Yeah, I know I heard them”

“Aha- You did?” Shigure confused smile grew wider and he felt a sweat drop slid on his temple. She nodded again before yawning. “Yeah…I never had the end of the story, how it does finish?” she asked, sleepily. He made an awkward smile, to be honest he did not remember how the story ended at all, it was a long time ago and he never put the hands back on the papers he hadn’t sent to her. He was already shocked that she had indeed received the paper planes.

Smirking, he sized her better on his laps and kissed the top of her hair. “Here, let’s sleep right?” he proposed and she shock her head slowly “No…” she answered in a yawn, gripping around his neck like a child cuddling their teddy bear. Like a kid, she refused to sleep when she was obviously tired. Well, Shigure already knew she was throwing tantrum. She groaned when he lifted and brought her back under the blanket. She clung to him, forcing Shigure to stay by her side.

“I hate it” she muttered and he blinked. “Hm, what?” he asked. Akito fluttered her eyes, forcing them to stay open. “Time, we never have enough of it” she replied and Shigure smile dropped. He sluggishly rested his chin on his palm. That was true, they could never enjoy their time together, time was played with them and always separating them. He frowned, maybe it was time to bring the subject. “Akito” he called and she rolled her head to him. “You know…I might find a way to do it.” He said and she stood silent before straightening to his level, the eyes fully awake. “What?” her voice was so small and fragile that Shigure instinct begged him to take her away now and protect her.

He moved his hand to her face and took her by the chin and made one of his most foolish expression, the one he always made to hide his true feeling. Here, it was uneasiness, the fear to be rejected… “Akito…Let’s elope?”

Akito pupils narrowed in shock and her mouth went agape. “…What?” she asked in a breath. He tilted his head, his smirk going wider. “Let’s go far away? To Kanazawa? Or Nagoya? I already found some houses we could live in you know?”

She frowned “You kidding right?” she spat, her face showing a mix of anger and disgust. Aah, Shigure already know it was going to happen. But a man can hope, couldn’t he? It was hurting a bit but he didn’t let his smile fail. Shigure was going to be mean, but she needed to hear it, so they could have a future together. “Well, you plan to stay imprisoned here the rest of your life? You know that I won’t be able to sneak here in secret forever, one day Ren will find out.” He explained plainly.

She made a face as slapped and pulled the blanket up to cover her chest. “Shut up! You don’t know anything!” she furiously threw. He frowned. “Why do you want to stay here? You have nothing waiting for you Akito, I mean it, it’s-”

“It’s not true! Why are you saying that!!” she suddenly stood up and walked to the window. “I’m god! I have to stay here for them!” She yelled and Shigure was scared she could wake up the maids. He turned his head to the door but he heard no rushing steps. He removed the blanket and passed his hand through his hair. “Really Akito? When you didn’t even notice the bond between you and I when we met? Same for Ayame…” he reminded and he could saw her plant her nails in the skin of her hands. “It’s not the same! You told me we already met when I was a baby! I’m sure if I were to meet the others, I would feel it!” she turned around. Shigure sneered.

“Why are you laughing?! It’s true!!” she rushed on him and this time, it was on his shoulder that she planted her nails. He simply looked away, he was laughing in spite of irritation and absurdity of the situation. He never saw a damsel in distress deciding by her own to stay in the tower. “You’re…you’re doing like her!” she spat. “You’re as mean as her! Belittling the bond! You understand nothing! Nothing!” she moved away and when Shigure tried to make her understand, she pulled her hands on her ears. It irritated Shigure, so she didn’t want to heard the truth huh?

“Get out! I don’t want to hear you anymore!!” she talked and she looked so, so fragile that way that he felt again that need to take her away once more. But she wasn’t ready. Shigure sighed and started to put his clothes back. Akito stubbornly stared away, hugging herself and ignoring his presence. A bitter smile crawled on his lips and he gently wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. “I will come back later.” He whispered in her ear.

He slid the door and walked out of her room to her garden. The moon was full that night, Shigure would have find it pretty if it wasn’t for the way Akito rejected him. Why she couldn’t understand, open her eyes? He walked to the tree that was hiding the rope ladder Tohru have slid in secret here and climbed it before jumping to the other side of the wall. When he was younger, he always felt that wall was so high, like it was the biggest obstacle between Akito and him. He was so wrong.

He went back to his home. The Sohma estate was quiet at night, it was pleasurable, worth the freezing weather. Once he arrived, he threw his geta in the gekan and switched on the light. Kureno had moved out the same day Shigure had sneaked into Akito’s garden. It was way more convenient when he was at Akito’s the night, his cousin wouldn’t ask him where he spent the night. He put water to boil and headed to his office. Lighting a cig, he sat at his desk and eyed the last chapter he wrote.

_Hikari was shivering in fear, it was her first client and he looked ruthless. Everything about that man scared her, his smell, his skin full of scars when it wasn’t covered with tattoo. He was showing her his back while he was removing his clothes. She gulped in fear, unable to look away from the image of the furious Bato Kannon. Hikari was more used to see the bodhisattva under their female form, sweet and gentle the Jutei Kannon. Bato looked like a demon and it was so scary, scary. She wanted to run away, but she told herself that she needed to get used to it. She made her choice and she hoped her father was grateful. _

_Her client turned around and told her to undress. Holding a sob, she slowly unbuttoned her shirt but the man wasn’t patient enough and tore the clothe before tossing her body violently on the mattress. He was moving too quickly and she was really scared. It was different from when she was with Mamoru. He was sweet, caring for her. That man did not even take his time to touch her body to stimulate it and directly entered two fingers in her; it hurt, it hurt a lot. She screamed and tried to get him off but he forcefully pinned her wrists above her head and slapped her thigh. _

_“Listen here bitch, I don’t have the time, so do your job properly!” He said, threatened, and then he entered her. Hikari felt tears gathering around her pretty and black eyes. It was hurting her so much she felt humiliated and she felt like she was starting to become dehumanized. She hid her face behind her hands and cried as quiet as she could. She tried to imagine that it was Mamoru between her legs but never he had hurt her. Everything was different and she couldn’t try to fool herself._

_The man came inside and then tossed her like an old sock. He scratched his belly and left bills on the table and then left. Hikari rolled over the bed, hugging herself in some sort of comfort. She cried loudly, calling for her father or Mamoru. But neither of them will come, she was trapped in that place forever, that was the choice she had made and it was already too late to regret. Her boss knocked at the door and entered. He asked her to clean herself and to prepare for her next client. _

Shigure put the paper back on the desk, contemplating the story he had created. Writing a rape wasn’t what Shigure enjoyed writing the best. For somebody like him who liked sex, it was a sickening thing to talk about. However, he needed to see for himself what was the consequence of choosing to sacrifice themselves for somebody who don’t care would be. He wished Akito could read it, but she will probably won’t understand. It frustrated Shigure that she was prioritizing the cursed above him. He wanted her to care about him only, as he cared about her only. She was his whole world, and this, since the day she has been conceived.

Anyway, he was already aware that he won’t let he and Akito end that way. He will probably need to be patient, but he will take Akito away from this place. She was probably scared because here was all she knew, it was here that she had everything she was attached to, her family, her zodiacs, her whole life but…Shigure was not different. He will even lose more than Akito by leaving. But Shigure was ready to do this sacrifice. He wasn’t like the Mamoru in the story, he will rescue his damsel, he will take her away, even if she was against it.

He remembered what Akito has told him earlier about the bond. He smiled bitterly, him, belittling this, that link she, yes, shared with all the zodiac, but also himself included? Ah, she really misunderstood him, hasn’t she? Yet, it was funny how she was ready to claim she feel these bonds when she hasn’t batted an eyelid when she first met him that day in the parc nor when he presented her Ayame. So, who was she kidding?

Ren has been probably insulting her and the curse for years. That was probably why she over-reacted tonight. He could understand her. For years, Hatori has told him to stop running after a girl he was seeing in dreams. Ha! His friend must have been so annoyed by the irony of the situation when he had found out. Shigure was sorry that he didn’t have the chance to see it. But the fact was that between all the members of the zodiacs, Shigure was the one who could understand what she was feeling the best. He always has been sensitive to that bond with her.

…However, even if Akito hasn’t batted an eyelid when she met him, he hadn’t done better. Hell, she has given him her name and then she said to him the more blatant lie. Akito written with Autumn and Door, and he believed it! When all the facts had been here, just in front of him! A lonely girl who have to masquerade as a boy, even if the world was a big place, that kind of situations were exceptional. But more of all, those were more reasons for Akito to leave this family.

He put his attention back on the chapter. After writing it, Shigure needed to write the ‘good ending’; the ending he hoped Akito will choose. He will have to convince her and it was hard to be patient when he already knew their time was running. Ren must already feel that something was happening behind her back. He heard thing about how the family wanted her to give the power back in Akito’s hand. A part of him wanted to go at the woman and tell her that he desired to take his daughter away, assuring her to stay the chief. However, he knew better that she would refuse and the family needed somebody gentler and wiser. Ren wasn’t that person; he will have to break her.

Smirking, Shigure took a drag of his cig and then pen and paper. He had to work on his own happy ending.


	34. Chapter 33

She woke up early, it was something she was proud of, as Ren’s favorite maid. When waking up that early, you can watch the world rise slowly and set everything to be perfect just for the person she was serving. Being Ren favorite was her pride and joy, that woman have been through so many difficult experiences, she deserve to be treated with care and gentleness. That poor woman has been rejected by her husband family, then forced to give birth to a child she hadn’t desired before the man she loved died. Ren was a poor and lonely woman that everybody abandoned, and that’s why she really respected her. She has been the first annoyed when the people of the family were asking for Akito; didn’t they saw all the work Ren was giving? And this kid couldn’t even bear a little tightness around her chest. People might think Ren have been unfair to treat her daughter like a boy, but didn’t they know she have been doing it for Akito well-being? God is not a woman! And this family was already unforgiving toward Ren, how could they accept their chief being a female! Plus, this Akito did not even faced a half of what Ren lived, never hard-issues. Akito should be grateful to her mother for taking care!

Really, she was glad to be under Ren’s service instead of Akito’s. Hell, nobody wanted to be under Akito’s orders. She was a tempered child, a real nuisance, and every maid in the estate knew it. Though, now that she remembers, when Akito was still a child, there were that old maid that was here since the late master Akira was a baby, she had been taking care of Akito until Ren had enough and had dismissed the old woman. Who know what happened to her?

To be honest, she really did not care about that old granny, if she had been in Ren’s shoes, she would have fired her even before. This woman had been cruel to Ren, she remembered. At the time master Akira had told the wish to marry Ren, the old woman has been the first to be against it and tried to separate them with the help of some members of the family. She on the other hand with the help of the other side of the family, had supported them. How horrible it was, to separate two people in love, just because of tradition.

She sighed sadly at the thought and wrapped her obi around her waist and then walked to the kitchen. There were already a few others servants up who were in, preparing the food. She heard them whispers and she frowned. She did not like the whispers, the untold secrets. It would be bad for the family and she needed to know if something was going to be an issue for her beloved master. Clearing her throat, she called them, making the girls jolt in surprise. “Is there a problem?”

“A-ah…Hum…” the servant hesitated, biting her nail anxiously. “Master Akito still refuse to eat the food we prepared for him…” the girl explained and she felt like rolling her eyes. She had enough of Akito's tantrum. It was better to deal with the issue by herself. “Alright” she just said before turning her heels in direction toward Akito’s rooms, not caring about anything else. She stepped in the girl’s wing and without a knock nor a word, she slid open the doors with loudly noise, announcing her presence. She eyed the empty table and walked toward Akito’s room.

The maid rose her eyebrows when she noticed the lack of clothe of the person sleeping in the futon. “What a disgrace…” she muttered with contempt before decided to remove brutally the blanket to wake the girl up. Akito yelled and curled up, surprised by the sudden action and the cold temperature biting her naked skin. “What the hell!” she screamed. The maid was ready to remind her hers place when her eyes fell on the red spots all along her skin. The maid wasn’t stupid and knew what a love-mark was. The question was, who was at the origin of the marks.

Akito frowned and then, her eyes followed the maid's on her skin and then, she gasped and pulled the blanket on her body, trying to uselessly hide it. “I-…Bu-bugs…” she tried to explain, only to give up and bow her head. The maid straightened and decided to announce the news to her master. Ah, really, if the family knew about what kind of slut was actually the chief they desperately praised, what kind of faces would they do?

She walked through the house with rushed, yet moderated, steps and opened the shoji doors to Ren’s living room. She did not even take the time to knock, and she knew how impolite it was, but the matter was important. Ren frowned, she had her hand up, ready to sip her tea when she turned her face toward her favorite. “What’s the deal?” she said, surprise in the voice with a hint of irritation to be disturbed during her breakfast. It was rare that the maid went here early to ring her. She was more of a helper when it was time to work.

“Madam…I…” the maid cleared her throat and kneeled down in respect. “I just saw the young master…” she started and Ren rolled her eyes, putting her cup down with annoyance. Since the day she kicked Kureno out of Akito’s house, she never heard of her child again. Ren was happy with that, but of course, Akito couldn’t stay still. The woman brought her fingers to her temple, massaging it. “This kid is a real can of worms…” she said to herself before taking her attention back on the woman. “Well, tell me, don’t stay quiet like that.” She said in a kinder tone. It wasn’t fair to vent her anger about her son on the maid. That woman has been by her side since the beginning. A long time ago, when she was still a maid under Akira’s order.

“Madam…” started the maid with hesitation. “The truth is…”

* * *

Ren ran like a fury to her son’s house wing. If people where to describe her, she looked like the pretty _Kiyohime_ transforming into the wrathful _Hannya._ She opened all the shoji doors facing her with fearful noise, almost slamming the doors out their handles. It was how she arrived into Akito living room, her clothes undone and her eyes feral. Akito had put a kimono on his body, hiding any proofs of his love-making, however, it was useless. The monster was out of its cage and already knew.

Ren slid the doors close behind her and Akito jolted, anxious. However, something was different in Akito behavior. First of all, he wasn’t avoiding Ren eyes like he always used to. If only Ren hasn’t been furious and losing her mind, she might would have noticed how they shared the same black eyes, and how as hers right now, they were burning in anger. Ren walked slowly, dangerously, toward Akito, like a tiger, a hunter approaching its prey. However, he didn’t flinch and stood still. Not a step back, not trying to protect himself by pulling his arms high. No, he just stood here. Ren noticed the shivering; it was the only thing betraying Akito right now. The woman studied her son, scanning his body, as if she could see under the tissues.

“Take your clothes off.” Said Ren with a commanding voice, but Akito simply stood here, staring with into his mother eyes. Ren couldn’t see it, but the person in front of her was planting their nails so deep in the palm of their hands that blood started to come out. “Obey me!” Ren repeated, more dangerously, scarier. This time, Akito obligated and slowly rose up his hands to remove the grey kimono he was wearing, sliding it down all along his soft and pale body. The skin was white, it was one more thing that Akito had inherited from her. One more thing that make them look so alike.

The maid didn’t lie about the love-marks. Akito was covered of it. The interior of the thighs, the chest, the stomach, and just here on the shoulder, there was a bit-mark. Ren made a face of disgust when she tried to count each one. Some looked older than others. Ren was furious but she tried to control herself. However, the way Akito was looking at her with the hint of a smirk infuriated her -unless it was her imagination? Ah, Ren wanted to slap her child again and again until that smile would disappear, but she couldn’t, not so soon.

And, fuck, who would want to do it with that child and how did they sneak here? It was hard for Ren, thinking how that bothering child became such a slut, opening his legs to anybody. Was the purpose of this child life? Giving Ren more hard-issues than she already had? Sometime, she wondered was kind of bad person she was in another life to deserve this. Ren lowered her eyes back on a red spot on Akito’s neck and looked at it with contempt. She inhaled and breath out by the nose and looked back in her son eyes. Akito never stopped to stare at her and she wished he would stop.

“Can I have an explanation of how this happened?” She said with a controlled voice. Akito blinked, as shocked that Ren hadn’t tried to slap her and then he smirked. She frowned, where did that child learnt to have such expression. “Don’t you know Ren, _boys_ will be boys” said Akito with contempt, highlighting the ‘boys’ before chuckling and Ren had to bite her cheek as she looked down on her son breasts; it was full of red spots. She wanted to beat him until he couldn’t be able to stand. Why Ren that used to make Akito bow in front of her was now unable to scare him. Why this sudden change? How it happened?

They stood in silence until Ren had enough, she wanted to know who was the person who made those. She closed her eyes a moment, trying to gather all the composure that was left in her. “Well…Who would be desperate enough to sleep with you? As far as I know, nobody is allowed here but maids.” Akito’s smile fell and she finally turned her head away. Good, Ren was glad to finally the control back on the situation, it she always did. Ren allowed herself to smirk.

However, Akito chuckled and that feeling of superiority disappeared. “Well…What tell you it wasn’t one of your maids your carefully chosen?” Akito taunted and Ren gasped. How he dared?! “What are you saying! The maids are women, they can’t-”

“Well, am not I a man myself?” asked Akito, his smirk growing wider and wider and Ren was paling. “N-no you’re…!” she had lost her voice. Ren eyes were going down to her ‘son’ breasts and up to his face. Akito was… _She was_… “You can’t be serious?!”

“What? I’m not a boy anymore? But, that’s what you wanted, didn’t you?” said Akito and for the first time, Ren had to admit, she had in front of her not a boy, her son, but a woman…The daughter that Akira desired, loved. The little baby this man, already so sick, was taking care of, waking him up at night, preventing him to sleep and to rest. The little one-month baby girl that Akira played him, putting her in a baby red kimono while he was leaving Ren behind. The same little girl that gathered and reunited the family together. The girl that was protected by four little boys, ready to fight for her happiness, like animal guardian, that came a morning crying their wishes to meet her. That little baby girl…Her daughter.

“Enough!!” She roared, rising her hand to slap her daughter. However, before she could hit the white cheek of the girl, Akito suddenly grabbed Ren’s wrist. They both looked at each other, eyes wide. Ren could see, Akito was so shocked, not believing what she had done, her body had probably moved on it own and her brain couldn’t register what was happening. It was the error she made, because Ren saw the opening and rushed her body on the girl, making them fall on the ground. Akito didn’t have the time to move away that Ren straightened her back and put all her weight on her daughter stomach, sitting on it and then, she wrapped her longs fingers around the neck and then squeezed.

Akito struggled, moving her legs helplessly and tapping on Ren arms before starting to scratch them. When she tried to remove the hands strangling her, Ren squeezed even tighter. Her black eyes were narrowed in madness. She was squeezing until the woman under her couldn’t been able to breathe anymore. This…was something she should have done years ago. If only they didn’t force her to give birth, she never desired a child to begin with, she wanted to stay with Akira forever, but instead they gave her this…This bitch of a daughter. The god they desired and that Ren always tried to erase. She had enough, it was better to end it up all now.

It was a good thing after all. This child was good for nothing and as a girl…Nobody would want to marry her, such a lewd person, a slut. Ah! Ren was helping her in fact! Right now, Akito had her mouth open and the lack of air was making her face blue. Trying to gasp for air, but Ren wouldn’t let her. Let’s abort the child she never wanted.

“Madam!!” Screamed a maid behind her, making her jolt and remove her hands her surprise. Akito took a deep breath and quickly pushed Ren with all the force she had left in her body before rushing in a corner of the room, creating a wise distance between her and Ren. She coughed loudly, her body shivering. Ren turned her head toward the person who interrupted her. Her favorite maid was looking at her with wide eyes, her hand covering her mouth open in shock. Her face had lost most of its color. Why was she looking at her as if she was a murderer? She didn’t kill anybody.

Slowly, Ren stood up and regained composure. “Please, take care of that…Whore.” She said with authority. The maid walked in direction of Akito, showing a hand only to be slapped away by the girl. She looked like a savage cat, ready to scratch and hiss threateningly. The maid looked back toward her master with an apological look. Had Ren noticed how she was questioning her fidelity? The woman ignored it and threw a spiteful look to her daughter. Akito paled again and avoided her eyes, she bowed her head in submission. Yes, it was how the role should be, and Ren was going to make sure it will stay that way.

“Well, Akito, I guess I should congratulate you for being a woman, right?” she said with sarcasm. “Then, I will show you the joy of being one, you will like it, believe me” she added with a chuckle before turning her heels and walking out of the room. Her favorite quickly rejoined her, following with a one-meter distance. “This child…Is really a nuisance, isn’t he?” she said. However, the pronoun sounded wrong in her mouth now that she saw the girl that was Akito, the girl she always tried to repress.

“Ah…Yes, sure madam…” answered distantly the maid behind her. Ren ignored that usually, the maid sounded surer and more determined when she was agreeing with her in such moments. Denial was better in the worst moment. She closed her eyes and walked in her office then sat at her seat. She mindlessly took a file that was laying on the desk and read it. Her favorite kneeled down beside her and told her the schedule of the day. The maid who had taken the control back on her body and had forgotten the images she saw before, simply read the agenda. Ren listened with attention, letting the maid voice easing her mind.

“…And then after that, there is a reunion with the Murashima’s clan…” Ren clicked her tongue, the Sohma and Murashima clan have been trying to form an alliance for years but always ended up on a disagreement that erased every chance for a possible arrangement. She massaged her temples with both of her hands. It was a pain. How could she…

She rose her head up and slowly let her eyes wander around in the room before landing on the photo of Akira, her dear and precious husband…Husband… Ren suddenly gasped in realization. The best way to form an alliance was a marriage! “Tell me…The last son the Murashima-san…If I remember well, he is single, right?” she asked sweetly, like a panther moving slowly and without any noise to the prey it was hunting. “Ah…” just said the maid, unsure and not understanding what her master was implying in this question. “Indeed, his last lover break-up because he was mistreating her, from what I’ve heard.” She answered.

“I see…And he is starting to get old, I’m sure he and his father are desperate for any woman who would agree marrying him, don’t you think?” There were a hint of sadistic pleasure and satisfaction that was starting to show in her voice and the blood of the woman beside suddenly ran cold, the piece of the puzzle that were Ren’s words were little by little starting to assemble together. “They would accept anybody…As long as she accepts and she is from a good family, right?” Ren turned her face toward the other woman, showing her white teeth as she smiled. The maid gulped. “I…Guess.”

“You know, the Murashima clan is as important as the Sohma’s, making an alliance this way could be the best. We will just need to ask to Murashima-san that we are ready to accept his son in our family as long as he is ready to marry my dear daughter who just discovered the joy of her sexuality.” Explained Ren. “Of course…We will need to adopt in the family first, it would be bad if the Sohma’s chief ended with the Murashima’s name with this marriage, no, no…It’s not acceptable.” She thought aloud, caressing her chin with her finger. “But, I think it’s a good compromise, isn’t it?” she asked again, ordering an agreement. The woman simply nodded.

“Akito will understand, it’s for the best of the family and…She need to know the joy of being a woman.” _And then, I won’t have any trouble with her anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • The story of Kiyohime is from the Noh piece Doujouji. It's a story about jealousy where the beautiful Kiyohime slowly change into a witch then a dragon, and in rage, she kill the man she loved who had hidden himself under a bell with a blast of fire.


	35. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning /!\ : rape attempt

Several days have passed since the last time she saw Shigure. She didn’t have any calendar around her, the time was melting and she didn’t know which day was today. Just that she was alone and bored. All her love-marks had the time to disappear, all was left was the bite that her lover had left on her shoulder. She found herself caressing it lovingly when she was thinking about him, which was something that happened a lot, she was so lonely. Other times, her fingers wandered around her neck where Ren had strangled her. It had left mark too, but the bruise was also starting to disappear.

She saw Tohru twice since the day Ren had assaulted her. She had paled when she had saw the fingers marks around her neck and she tried to run at Hatori’s but Akito caught her by the arm and forced her to calm down. She explained her that it was useless, probably because they wouldn’t allow him to enter in her quarters anymore. Tohru had cried and then held held Akito in her arms like a mother would do. It was strange, she was older than her yet…Akito felt her throat being dry and she denied the fact that she has been crying too.

Akito was…Tired. She didn’t even remember being that low in her life. When Kureno’s bond broke away, the man became a constant presence in her life, like her shadow, always trying to cheer her up. He made her pass the time, by talking with her, bringing her snack between lunches and then making her going out outside. It was thanks to him she met Shigure…And she never thanked him. She had so many regrets about him. Of course, Akito whole life was about regret of things she didn’t or couldn’t have done. It was only when Kureno disappeared of her life that she realized how much she owed him and that she never ever thanked him for that. Yuki have been her childhood best friend, but Kureno have been her adolescence and adulthood best friend. The one who was with her during her teenage rebellion, when her body nature manifested and she had her first period. When she was bed-sick. He had listened her rant and sometime scold her when she was going too far. He watched her diet and her health. He probably has done more without her knowing or realizing it.

She bit her lip remembering his absence in her cold room. She was alone and it feel. The good thing was that sometime, Tohru was coming. Sure, she was a student and she had to go to school and do her homework. She also needs to cook for the men she was living with. It was funny, through Tohru, she had the impression to see another image of Yuki, and she was curious about Kyo. The girl was always talking about the cat with stars in the eyes.

“Could it be…” had asked Akito once “That you love him? That Kyo.” Tohru usually so kind and cute face had suddenly paled and her mouth parted. She had placed her hands on it and she gasped, as realizing it. “I…” she tried to say, but she had decided against and she kept silent until Akito changed the conversation. Strangely, Tohru saw it like an opening and started to ask many questions about her relationship between her and Shigure. But Akito stood evasive, she wasn’t good with telling her feelings. People around her simply understood without her needing to word it. However, Akito had to admit it, she was really a gently and adorable girl, she understood why the cursed loved her that much. From what Yuki told her.

Actually, at first, she hated the name of Tohru Honda, she hated that somebody outside of the family was closer to the zodiacs than she was. Now she understood and she couldn’t blame any of them, she was feeling the same with this Tohru girl. This gentleness that she had brushed with Mine was now hugging her whole with Tohru. Never a woman had been this kind and well-behaved with her. It inspired Akito to be that kind of girl in the future, if she was allowed to.

She also talked about the curse and the zodiacs with Tohru. The girl was more understanding than Shigure about the subject. Just remembering what the man had told her made her hairs standing on end. She felt betrayed by him, haven’t he realized that? And, he forced her to notice something she didn’t want to see, the bond was becoming weaker with time.

She always started to bite her nail mindlessly when the thought was in her head. Was it her being anxious of losing the ties she grew up with and reassured her when she used to recomfort her emotionally, or was it the god in anguish of losing his friends without even having the chance to bid them a goodbye? The god couldn’t have said his farewell to the rooster and he simply grieved to his ex-owner body. What if more zodiacs bond went to be broken as was Kureno’s, what if everyone's curse lift, what will she become? What will she do?

Akito given up a long time ago the idea of having her right place as the family chief. She didn’t care, since that day in the gathering room where she had met the assembly of the family. They gave her such a bad impression, she felt like she was the representation of something in a middle of the family war and she did not want to be a part of. She saw in their eyes that they didn’t care about her, if they did, they would have tried more to make her free. No…She did not care about them at all.

Sighing, she moved her hand to her temple and massaged it. She moved out of her futon and walked to the bathroom to wash herself. Today, for the first time of her life, she will have assist to a private reunion with Ren. Akito did not know what the woman has in mind, but she couldn’t refuse. So, she had to get ready before Ren’s favorite would come to fetch her. Apparently, she will eat with Ren and the chief of the Murashima’s clan and his son. She had read document that Kureno had taken from Ren office. The Sohma family have been trying to form an alliance with the Murashima family, only to have it each time canceled. Maybe Ren decided to take Akito with her in a reunion so she could blame her later when that try to form the alliance will be turned down.

She dried her short hair will vivid movement of the towel and then moved the towel down on her skin to dry the water and then she walked out, wearing a bathrobe around her body. Ren’s favorite was already waiting for her in the bedroom and she frowned. Inviting themselves in somebody bedroom, they did not give a fuck about people privacy, didn’t they? “Madam Ren has chosen the clothes you will wear for today’s meal with the Murashima family.” She said before pulling out a red cloth. Akito turned her eyes away and removed her robe. She was glad that the had the good idea of taking an underwear with her, at least, she wasn’t all naked in front of the woman.

Akito sat in the middle of the room and waited for the maid to her work. When the woman prepared the kimono, Akito blinked in confused. “And the bandages?” she said before regretting it. Why did she remind the woman to wrap her chest? If she had forgot it, it was good then, wasn’t it? The woman stood silent before nodding. “Yes, indeed, allow me a few moments to get them.” She said and if Akito wasn’t frustrated about herself, she would have noticed the maid was more polite and kinder to her than usual.

However, the force she put in tightening the bandages around her body did not changed and as ever, Akito found herself being breathless. She wondered how she did to not faint from the lack of oxygen. She could still breath, if she were to compare with how Ren strangled her, but it was hard. After that, the maid brushed her hair and tied her obi carefully before taking a step back and looking at Akito’s appearance. Something was strange with the clothes, they looked…more feminine than habit “Look like you’re ready, so if you please follow me.”

Akito did not answer, but when the maid walked out of the room, she followed her. As they both exited her quarter, she looked around with curiosity. It was only during rare event that she had the chance to come out of her cave. Now, they were entering in a part of the estate she had never been in. From far, she saw path and stylized garden. It was different from where she was living, fancier. Akito’s frown deepened. Ren had really let her out of this world for years.

If she wanted right now, she could run and take that path to leave that place. Maybe if she asked, she could go back to Shigure’s side and together, they could take a boat and flee the country. Being with him was appealing, but abandoning this world for another was something scary and she feared that it rejected her, that she was unable to integrate it.

The maid interrupted her in her thoughts “Please, be quicker, madam Ren won’t allow any tardiness.” Pressed the woman and Akito threw her a deathly glare. A part of her wanted to walk even slower but she remembered Ren’s hands squeezing her throat and she changed her pace for a faster.

The maid stopped in front of well adorned fusuma doors and slid them open. “Madam, Akito-san is here.”

“Oh please, enter! Enter!” sang an old and masculine voice, stranger to Akito’s ears. The maid nodded and made a sign of the chin to Akito, ordering her to enter. They were all already sat at the _chabudai_, each one with a cup of sake in the end. The men were both wearing westerner suit while Ren was wearing a crimson tomesode. Bowing slightly, she took place on the only vacant seat, the one next to Ren. She hoped she succeeded to hide how scared she was.

“My, my! What a beautiful sight, isn’t its son?” said the oldest man, bumping his elbow against the youngest man. The son simply nodded and stared at Akito, studying her body. His eyes were showing something that Akito already saw in Shigure’s, however, the context was different. When her boyfriend was looking at her that way, it was when they were both naked and making love ruthlessly, she liked when her man had that expression…However, a complete stranger looking at her like that, especially when they were meeting for the first time in a traditional way was…Unsettling. Akito felt very uneasy. The worst was knowing that nobody in this room will help her if something happens. She gulped discreetly and avoided his eyes. God, she wanted to run away.

“You’re really your mother twin! Haha, so beautiful!” laughed the man before taking another sip of sake. “Koeda-san, you’re too kind with us.” Answered Ren with a polite smile and a kind tone. “Haha, Akito-san don’t talk much? Are you shy? Well, quieter the better as they said!” he laughed louder and she wanted to spit on his face to make him stop. She felt a headache coming with it. “Here, make yourself at ease Akito-san, take a cup of sake.” Said the younger man, smiling. She accepted it but did not drink. She won’t let her guard down as long as she was alone in a room with Ren and strangers.

“Today is a big day! If our deal goes to term, our family will without a doubt finally find a common ground, won’t we?” sneered the man and Ren patiently nodded. “Indeed, today is a big day, but we need to talk more about it, don’t we?” she said gently, drinking her cup of sake with delicacy.

“Haha, sure, you have documents about it, don’t you Ren-san?” said the man, tapping on the _chabudai_ while Ren sorted out papers. “Here…” she said, giving him a paper. The man started to read but his smile slowly disappeared. “…I’m sorry but I fear I don’t understand.” He said, his joyful tone now far away. The woman cleared her throat. “Koeda-san, I understand that the matter is…not something light to talk about.”

“Ren-san, you never told me about adopting Jyuto in the Sohma clan.” He said, grave, and his son snapped his head toward his father, eyes wide as planets. “Wh-what?!” he almost screamed before taking from his father’s hand the paper and reading it, his eyes moving quickly. “Well, I think you can understand that the Sohma family is quite…traditional, and without a doubt, a marriage with a member that isn’t a Sohma won’t be allowed.” Ren simply explained, like a teacher in front of dissipated children.

Akito on her own, wondered what marriage they were talking about. It was probably a girl from the elite of the family, she didn’t really care. She wanted to go out of this room where the tension was starting to get high. “What’s the point of this if Jyuto became a Sohma! Don’t make fun of the Murashima clan!” slammed the father on the table, the son vividly nodding. “Please, nothing could be further in my mind.” Gently said Ren “I know how your son must attach importance to his clan, that’s why I’m sure that even adopted as a part of the Sohma family, he will do anything for the family that he grew in.” she said in a smile.

“Wh-what would be the point! I’m one of the sons of the chief, I can’t allow myself to be adopted in another family!” he roared and Ren shook her head. “But, you should know that she is high placed, the Sohma won’t accept her becoming a Murashima, won’t they? Don’t you agree Koeda-san?” The man frowned, caressing his chin in thought. “Well…Jyuto, it’s true that you are the last son of the family…And you brother already made an heir and assured the family continuity…” Jyuto mouth went agape, not believing what his father was saying. “That’s true that you would be more useful that way…” slowly his eyes drifted toward Akito.

“And…Your future wife…is a real beauty…” said Koeda, looking right into Akito’s eyes. “I wish my own wife would look like that…” he smiled and she wanted to run, a cold sweat running all along her back. She was scared of what he was implying. No, it was just her imagination, wasn’t it? Yes, Ren always wanted to make Akito a boy, and that’s how Akito always have to appear in front of people. Yes, Akito had nothing to fear, it was alright. The son made a face “But…Father, I…”

“Come on Jyuto, you’re starting to get old and you need a wife. This is the best occasion to settle that family alliance that we wanted to do for years.” Scolded the father, frowning, the son simply bowed his head “Yes…I understand.” He said, resigned and he too, looked at Akito. She was feeling her colors draining from her face.

“Then, if the matter is settled, please, sign here.” Said Ren, taking the control of the situation and giving a paper to the youngest man, however, the father interfered and took the paper. “Ren-san, we want to be sure there won’t be any underhand trick.” He said. “I propose that Jyuto sign that paper when the date of the marriage will be fixed. It will leave time for all of us to think about it.” He said and Ren’s smiling wavered. “Yes…Of course, I understand.” She said in a gentle and forced voice. Akito knew that Ren don’t like when things weren't going as how she planned it to be. Akito wish she could grin, satisfied to see the woman frustrated, but the tension and the men eyes on her were making her too anxious.

The young man sitting in front of Akito was going to say something when somebody knocked and slid the fusuma doors open. “Today’s meal is served.” Said Ren favorite, bowing down. Behind her, more servants holding tray full of plates. They served and put down all the meals that have been prepared, and even if Akito loved Tohru’s food, she had to acknowledge that the sushi on the table were high quality. During the lunch, the men tried to talk with her, but she simply answered with quick answers, making sure to stop the conversation. Strangely, doing it made the oldest man even more joyful, and the previous outburst was like a dream.

Akito agreed that the sushi she eaten here were had the best taste, but the taste wasn’t as good as the sashimi she had with Shigure at the Izakaya. She desperately wanted to see him and go back eating there. “Ah! It was good haha, I guess I could take a little walk around the estate, what do you think Ren-san?” he said with a warm and joyful laugh. Ren nodded. “Indeed we should, Akito, please, take Jyuto-san to your quarters, you two should need to get acquainted.” She ordered and Akito frowned, she did not want to bring that man at her place, but she knew she didn’t have the choice and she quietly nodded before standing up and walking out of the room, Ren favorite was waiting for her and lead her back to her quarter. The man was following her, his eyes wandering around, watching the place they were passing by.

She was back already too soon and she hated that he was still behind her. He entered in the living room before her, as if he owned the place and sat at the table before exhaling as tired when they were alone. “My! It was a long day.” He ranted and Akito merely rolled her eyes before taking a seat at the other side of the table. The young man didn’t see it that way and glided along the floor until he was next to her, way too close in her taste.

“But finally, it’s just the two of us now.” He said, placing his hand on her waist. She nudged the arm off and tried to move away, but suddenly with unrestrained strength, he pulled her against him by the arm. “Le-let me go!” she screamed, struggling. He held her forcefully, so hard that she was sure it will leave mark on her arm. And without any warning, he kissed her, sneaking his unwanted tongue in her mouth. She bit his lips and he yelled in pain and pushed her away. She could taste his blood in her mouth and she spit in disgust. “You little-” he roared in anger, wiping the blood with the back of his hand.

She stared at him like a cat ready to attack and he chuckled. “I prefer my future wife to be quieter, but it’s alright, by the time we will be married, you will be already trained to obey.” Akito glided farer but once again, he rushed on her and pinned her on the floor. She tried to break free, scratching his face with her nails. “Get out!! You piece of shit!”

Then, he moved his hand on her throat, ready to choke her and she paled, remembering the violence that Ren used on her. She stopped moving, her body and her brain freezing, traumatized. “You little slut, I’m already sacrifice my place in my family because of this marriage, I don’t want a whore that wasn’t able to keep her legs closed to piss me off.” Akito eyes widened in fear. Ren was really going to force her to marry this man, and he was ready to take her on the floor.

She didn’t want this, she wanted Shigure and Shigure only. She was scared, she wanted to run away, she wanted to see him. “It’s alright, I will be a kind husband” he said, licking her cheek, she retched. “I will let you have your sweet time with your lover, as long as you produce me an heir.” He said, rubbing his crotch over her waist. She turned her head away; she didn’t want to see it. She tried to think it was Shigure that was holding her right now, but never her lover has acted that way with her. Shigure was a man that she loved, he was the only man she wanted to be with. She refused to let herself ending that way.

As the man was sliding his hand along her thigh, before entering it in her kimono, removing his hand from her throat, her body moved by itself and she grabbed a vase and crashed it on his head. He screamed in pain and he shifted away out of instinct, his hands on his eye. She probably blinded it forever. “You fucking whore!” he yelled and Akito took the chance to escape. She kicked him in the crotch and then ran to the garden when she heard footstep running in direction of the living room.

Panicking, she searched for a way to escape the house and then she remembered the ladder that Shigure used to get out of the garden at night. She ran toward the wall and noticed the rope ladder on the top of the it, she jumped, trying to pull the rope down. When she succeeded, there were already servants helping the man screaming that she had ran in the garden. Gulping she started to climb and she felt hand grabbing her foot. Freaking out, she started to kick, her naked foot crashing on their face with the heel and she using the head of the maid as a springboard and she got on the top of the wall. Here she broke the ladder and jumped at the other side of the wall.


	36. Chapter 35

It was rare for Rin to be outside, but today was an important day. After all, they were congratulating Hatsuharu for getting his cast off his leg, Momiji idea. The boy just wanted an occasion to gather all the zodiacs together, since new year banquet was canceled. To be honest, Rin didn’t mind, as long she could be far of that Akito, she was glad. Akito was the one who injured Haru, as Ren said, so she did not see why she should bother with the person who forced Haru to be casted…Even if this person was god.

No...deep down she knew, it was wrong, if god asked, she would come, because she needed to be close of him. Was it her or the spirit in her? She always wondered, since she was a child. She hated this curse, she wanted to make it stop so nobody would have to be hurt and they all be free…Haru would be free. It all that mattered for Rin.

Though, she had talked about it once with Haru and Hiro, or closer to reality, she heard Hiro and him talk about it. The little boy confessed that not be linked sounded somehow scary. “Aren’t we going to lose all that bond us together?” he asked in a quiet voice. Rin always liked his maturity, that’s why he was one of the few that she liked having around. But Rin had to agree Hiro was right, what would happen if she and Haru weren’t bonded anymore? She knew that she loved him, so she didn’t care of what could happen if the bonds were to break. She wanted this story to be behind her.

She walked mindlessly on the path, frowning when she saw maids running around and screaming. So noisy. Humph’ing, she turned her back and decided to go at Kazuma’s by using another way, a calmer one. She walked in the most remoted path of the estate, one deserted where nature took its laws. She took a few steps before stopping when she heard sound coming from bushes and then, before she had the time to think, she saw something red walked in her view field.

Isuzu snapped her eyes wide open when she looked at the person in front of her that just walked out of nowhere, and suddenly Rin’s heart beat accelerated and a high neighing echoed in her head, resonating without end. Her whole body was standing still, not moving and tears started to pour out of her eyes in spite of her. The person was also crying, he even tried to hide his sob behind his palm. “Yo-you’re the horse” he said quietly and Rin’s had goosebumps by hearing for the first-time God talking to her. They stared at each other for a moment, they weren’t moving, but inside, they could feel the god embracing his old friend. _‘It has been so long! I’ve missed you so much! How are you? Tell me about everything!’_

It was as if Rin wasn't master of her own body anymore.

But the reality brought them back, interrupting the God and the Horse reunion. They heard women’s voice near and Akito threw himself on Rin, grapping her by the shirt. “H-help me!” he stammered “please!” and, her conscience snapping back, Rin was at lost. Because it was the very same man who injured Hatsuharu. She did not want to help him, but something in her was telling her that she had to do it. She pulled Akito’s hands away. “You…You hurt Haru!” she said, frowning and showing her conflicted feeling.

“What?” asked Akito in a tone that sounded genuinely lost, his eyebrows going up before suddenly frowning. “I-I have no time, you have to help me!” he said again, roaring. “No!” just said Isuzu, closing her eyes hard, she had the impression she was making the biggest effort of her life, refusing to help her god. She directly regretted it, she must help him if he was asking. He looked so lost and confused. Rin breathed hard, it was chaos inside of her and she felt she wasn’t controlling anything. Why was she feeling that way? She never cared for anybody else before, so why she wanted to please a person she never met before…Was that another side of the curse she didn’t know, the one her oldest cousins had talked about many times?

Akito eyes were wide and Rin was struck down by how vulnerable god looked. Her heart was still beating hard against her ears and the horse neighed even louder, hitting its hoofs on the ground. Akito’s face was red and he was out of breath, as if he had ran without stopping. Isuzu was shocked to see him wearing a red kimono, such a feminine color, but more than that, she realized that if Akito was in front of her, that meant he was out of his house. That was the most abnormal thing here.

He shivered and took a step toward her. “Please! I can’t go back here! You’re my zodiac! Just help me!!” he almost yelled and Rin shook her head. “You…You hurt Hatsuharu, I can’t help somebody who hurt him! He had done nothing wrong!” Akito frowned, confused. Why wasn’t he understanding what Rin was telling him? “Haru! Hatsuharu! The ox!” she repeated with a higher voice, desperately. Akito eyebrows went up and his eyes grew wide. “What? How I could have done it!” he screamed as well, red of anger and Rin jolted, surprised by the sudden change of mood. “I’ve never went out before and I’ve never meet him!” he growled with a voice that was very feminine for a man.

“Then why Ren told me you went the one who ordered him to be beaten because…Because we were together.” She asked, at lost. What was happening? She didn’t understand, her skull was hurting her, she was feeling dizzy. Akito suddenly took her by the collar and he almost stuck his nose with hers, they were so close. “So, you prefer to believe that bitch that kept me prisoned for years instead of your god?” he said with contempt and Rin shuttered. “I…” why couldn’t she talk back? Rin felt so weak, so stupid. Why did she believe Ren to begin with? Fuck, she hated it.

“Why would Ren has done it then?! She hates the zodiacs, she doesn’t want to deal with them!” Akito looked at her as if she was stupid and she felt humiliated, why god was looking at her like that. He was going to answer when they both heard a maid screaming near of their position “Check here, he probably hasn’t left the estate yet!” He suddenly paled and his previous furious glare changed into a scared one. “Please!” he pleaded. Rin bit her lip, in thought. The time was passing way too quick and she had to make a choice. She still wasn’t really believing Akito, but she couldn't disobey, something, an immeasurable force was compelling her to do what he said. So…the girl took Akito by the wrist and then ran as fast as she could.

It wasn’t hard for Isuzu, she was the horse, nobody could run faster than she, but in her dizzy mind that was forcing her to obey her master order, she forgot about this and she dragged along her god that was following her with big difficulties. “Wa-wait!” he tried to say between hard breath but Isuzu mind was a mess, all she knew that she needed to put the boy in a safe place, that she needed to help him. She was rushing so quick, she didn’t remember running that fast, and Akito was light as feather. Rin always thought that men were weighting more than women, look like Akito was an exception.

With running that fast to Kazuma’s, Rin felt like she was flying with holding Akito’s wrist that hard, she hoped she won’t make him angry later. She arrived by the garden, making sure that nobody in the estate has noticed them. Rin knew all the tricks to go unnoticed by the people, she always made sure that she was far as possible from the world.

Kagura who was running after Kyo with a plate of meat was the first one to notice her and Akito, brutally stopping in her track and gasping a sob when her eyes fell on Akito exhausted shape. The plate of meat was now on the ground. “A…Akito-san” she whispered and Rin noticed that tears were also gathering back around her god’s eyes, as the same way he cried earlier when he met her. Kyo too stopped running and was staring at the apparition of god in the garden. He wasn’t crying like Kagura right now or Rin earlier, but there was something in his body that wasn’t his own feeling. Without realizing it, he had put a hand on his chest, trying to calm the loud heartbeats that were reverberating like bell.

Akito was starting to shiver, the running mixed with the feeling coming from the reunion with his zodiac had probably completely drained him of his strength and he grabbed Rin by her arm, resting his shivering body. It was strange, but Isuzu’s arms moved by themselves around Akito, as shielding him. Rin could hear how hard it was for him to breath. Kagura rushed to them and also took Akito in her arms. “He- we need to take him in.” she said and turned her heard toward Kyo who nodded and walked in the house, telling the others about their surprise guest.

Kagura brought Akito in her arms, even if he was older than her, she felt the need to embrace him with affection. Never she felt this need before but for Kyo. Yet Kagura knew it wasn’t her but the animal moving her body to console the man, as if the boar saw how much Akito needed this. Rin simply lead Akito into the house, completing her mission to put her god in a safe place. She slid open the shoji doors and she saw the rest of the zodiacs gathered here. Kisa, Hiro, Momiji, Yuki and Hatsuharu. Tohru was also here, behind with a wide smile on her face. “Akito-san! You’re here!” she said in joy.

Kisa covered her mouth and started to cry too, Hiro simply bowed his head, trying to hide his. Momiji smiled even through the tears, welcoming Akito while Haru stood with an impassive face, a lone tear sliding along his cheek. Yuki smile was kind, finally…they met. However, that smile quickly disappeared when Akito started to choke. He was already out of breath and now he was feeling too many emotions, the sobs were too strong and it was too much, too much.

Akito was spasming, his face draining of all his colors. Yuki was the first to react when he fainted. “Oi! Akito!” he said, catching the man before he could fall on the floor. “Is he alright?!” said Hiro, looking at Akito with worried eyes. “We need to lay him, oi! Stupid cat, bring your futon!” Kyo rushed to him room. “No need to call me like that bastard!” he screamed.

Yuki carried Akito like a princess, he frowned, noticing how unhealthy light was his cousin and childhood friend. They all walked to the living room and Kyo ran back, his futon under his arm. Yuki put Akito on it and it was at this moment that Hatsuharu noticed that he wasn’t breathing.

“I-I will fetch Hatori-san” said Tohru, white as Akito’s face before taking her coat and running out of the house. Rin yelled after “Don’t get noticed by the domestics, they’re after him!”

“What should we do…” asked Kisa in a small voice, her eyes still wet from her cries. Hatsuharu frowned and position himself to do a CPR, he roughly opened Akito upper part of the kimono and went still when he saw the tight bandages around his chest. It was too tight, of course Akito couldn’t breathe with that around him.

“Is Akito-san injured?” asked Momiji at lost by seeing the white bands around his god body. Haru eyebrows went down…He wasn’t sure but he had the impression that… He lifted his head toward Hiro who was the nearer of the kitchen “Hiro, get me scissors, quick!” Yuki asked the cousins to step back, to let Akito having his space and took the scissors that Hiro fetched to give them to Haru who in a movement cut the bandages. In a second, he, Yuki and the rest of the zodiacs gathered in the room witnessed two smalls but present breasts jiggling out of its prison.

They all stared in shock, too thunderstruck to notice that Akito was slowly breathing again, the pale skin getting its natural’s color. He…she now able to breath all her content. Rin have been the first one to react, only to scold Haru. “What are you looking?” she asked, blushing and Kyo, snapping out, removed his jacket to put it on Akito’s chest, giving her a little dignity. They were all blushing but Yuki who was frowning deeply and confusedly. What was that? He always thought…

“Oi Yuki, you knew didn’t you!” roared Hiro, still red. He never really saw female breasts but his mother’s when she was nursing Hinata. “You could have told us before we…You see!” he stuttered loudly, still embarrassed. Haru told him to not scream. Yuki was still staring mindlessly Akito’s chest. He answered in a whisper. “I didn’t know…”

* * *

By the time that Hatori arrived with Tohru and ordered to put Akito in a bedroom instead of her let rest in the living room, Yuki and the others zodiacs had been through the shock. Yuki still had hard time to believe it. He always thought he was one of the closest of Akito’s…Yet, he wasn’t even aware that he, no, she was a woman. He felt betrayed. Why he didn’t know, why she never told him?

They were all sat around the table, they decided to wait that Hatori tell them about Akito’s health before starting the meal. Tohru had left in her room to get a change for the goddess in the neighbor room. They waited Hatori, hoping that everything was alright and that the girl would explain them what she was doing out of the house she was meant to be locked in.

“No wonder she fainted, with that bandage around her.” Said Momiji in the quiet room, staring at the table. Rin felt somehow guilty. Was it her fault? If she hadn’t ran so fast, ignoring Akito telling her to wait, maybe it wouldn’t have ended like that. She hated not knowing what to do about Akito, she hated she wasn’t the master of her emotions. All was a mess, all the zodiacs here were confused. “It must have been hard, living that way for so long” said Kagura and Kisa nodded. This child was full of empathy and all she could do is imagining how hard her goddess's life was. Hiro held her hand in aim to reassure her.

“Yuki, it is because of Ren?” asked Kyo, feeling concerned even if he was the cat. Yuki sighed, frustrated. “I don’t know, yes, probably. Ren had always abused hi…her” he scowled as he remembered the screams. Tohru entered in the room and everybody suddenly glanced at her, snaping their head. She jolted at the sudden movement and sweated a bit from anxiety. “Tohru, how is Akito?” asked Momiji.

“Ah, hum…He…I mean, she” Tohru corrected herself, knowing now that they were all aware of Akito’s secret “is still unconscious, but Hatori-san said that there was nothing to be worried about.”

“Do Hatori know why Akito is out?” asked the rabbit, however, Tohru shook her head. “No, look like we will have to wait until Akito-san wake up.” They hummed and Kagura bit her lips. “But…Won’t Ren come here?” she said and Rin inhaled deeply, remembering what Akito had said about the woman and that she was the cause behind Hatsuharu attack. From what Rin saw from the way that Ren treated Akito that the goddess has been probably saying the truth. She felt stupid.

“It’s just…” said Momiji with a sweet, sweet smile “I’m so glad, we finally meet Akito-san.” He jumped joyfully “It’s a good thing we bought so many foods! We have to celebrate!!” and Haru scratched his head and patted his leg, talking to it “Ah, I guess somebody just stole the spotlight, sorry bro.”

Hatori walked in the room ten minutes after, sighing. “Akito just woke up.” He announced and in a second, Kagura and Momiji, followed by Kisa and Hiro, were standing up, ready to see their goddess but Hatori blocked the door with his arm. “Akito is changing in the room and she is very confused, she is bad with people so be calm and don’t jump on her. Let her come to you all.” He warned.

“I have the impression you’re talking about a cat.” Told Haru, taking a sip of water and Kyo grunted. “Oi, you’re looking for a fight?” Hatori looked at the ceiling and thought that indeed, Akito had all the characteristics of a grumpy cat.

“I’m going first” said Yuki, standing up. “Huh? Why you?! It’s unfair! You already saw Akito many times!” yelled Hiro only to be scolded by Kyo for being too loud. The two of them started to fight and Momiji winked at Yuki telling him that he was free to go. He smirked and slid the door open to walk out.

Akito was looking by the window and Yuki had a Deja-vu impression. The difference was that now, the person he thought he know since he was little was wearing one of Tohru’s dress, the one with a turtle-neck. Yuki studied the shape, the way her hands were soft, the curves around here and there and found himself feeling stupid by how blind he had been to Akito's feminity. It was like he was seeing her for the first time. Why he hadn’t noticed before. Yuki kneeled next to Akito, she didn’t turn to look at was him, preferring to stare stubbornly at the window. They stood in silence for long seconds before Yuki decided to break the glass.

“The others can’t wait to be with you, Momiji was bouncing, it’s impossible to stop him.” He said, but Akito didn’t answered, making the mood even more awkward. “Akito…” he called, trying to get her in a conversation. He didn’t understand, he used to talk with her so easily before, why it has changed?

“Why aren’t you talking…” she said quietly and Yuki frowned. “Akito, I am talking.”

“No, not about this!” she said, moving her body toward him. “Why aren’t you talking about the fact that I’m…That I didn’t told you I’m a woman!” she said forcefully and Yuki’s eyes widened. So eager to get rid of the ugly spot. Yuki sighed. “Alright, so, why wasn’t I aware of this?”

Akito’s breath hitched and she bit her lip. What, was she backfiring now? “I..” she was searching her words. “When we were little…I didn’t know” she frowned “I was sure I was a boy but…Till I have my period I guess…No, maybe even before” she was now more talking to herself than Yuki. “Maybe when Kureno told me I was a girl…” she had put her hand on her forehead. She was still tired.

“Why you didn’t tell me then?”

“…It was hard.” She said and Yuki had the impression there were more. He palmed his face, he preferred to be honest “Akito, I feel betrayed, I thought we were friend.” She snapped and looked at him angrily. “Friend? When was the last time you tried to see me at my house? Don’t make me laugh! You feel concerned with me because I’m your childhood friend, but at the end, what do we know about each other?!” She almost yelled but hold her voice so the others wouldn’t heard.

Yuki was shocked, he felt aggressed “Really Akito? That’s what you feel? Because I never hide anything from you! Don’t mix me with you!” he replied as stronger as Akito and she gritted her teeth. “That- You know I couldn’t tell you that!”

“Why not?! Kureno was aware!” _and Hatori too_ he didn’t say, not wanting to sound jealous. Plus, Hatori was her doctor, so it was fundamental for him to know this. Akito scowled “Of course he knew, he is older than me.” They stood quiet for a moment, both took in her thought, both trying to calm each other. When Akito talked again, she was hugging herself and her voice was just a whisper “He knew even before me…” Yuki could hear in the hint of her voice how unfair the situation has been to her.

He closed his eyes, he hated her for showing him that vulnerable side. Yuki needed Akito to be strong, keeping him in the illusion that Ren never had a power on her mind “It’s her who forced you to be like that, right?” Akito nodded, planting her nails into her soft skin of her forearms. “It doesn’t matter anymore” she just said. Now that they all know; Ren couldn’t hide it anymore and Hatori will refuse to erase memories. It was already settled.

“Akito, what happened?” he asked, questioning her one last time. Akito paled and shook her head. “Are you still going to keep me out of this.” He accused and Akito scoffed, and for a second, he had the impression of hearing Shigure’s. “Believe me, you don’t want to know.” She said before standing up. She moved too quickly because the second after, she had put her hand on her temple, as dizzy. Yuki stared. It was too easy. Why was she really adamant to leave him out of this? Sighing, he offered her his arm so she could rest on it. She didn’t hesitate and put her hand on it, waiting for her dizziness to go.

“Okay?” he assured “Shall we go?” Akito bit her lip and nodded, removing her hand from his arm. She took a look of regality that Yuki was more used to see on her face than the fragile vision of her he saw a minute ago. He leaded her out of the room where the rest of the zodiac was waiting for them. The rat was the first to take his god out of her cave and to present her to the rest of the zodiacs waiting for her. Finally, the banquet.

When Yuki slid open the doors, his cousins who were talking suddenly stopped to turn their head toward them. He felt Akito grabbing subtlety his shirt. It remembered him the time where they found a big beetle in her garden. Akito staying behind him and forcing him to chase the insect with a stick. Ah, Yuki remembered he was also crying because he was scared of that bug.

The first one to break the silence was Tohru who threw herself in Akito’s arms, in tears. “I’m soo glad you finally meet them Akitoo-saaan!” she said between sob and Akito simply patted her back, obviously confused.

“Oi Tohru, don’t hug people like that.” Called Kyo, sighing. Yuki knew there were a bit of jealousy, after he too wanted to hug her. The second Tohru separated, Momiji ran into Akito in turn, joyfully. The woman was completely at lost and Yuki really wanted to tease her. She had the best expressions. “But Kyo! Hugs feel the best!! Isn’t it, Akito-san?!” said Momiji too loudly and Hiro groaned. “Kyo, don’t be jealous, please hug if you want!” said Kagura, opening her arms. Kyo refused and she snapped just after, breaking the shoji door.

“Momiji, Akito is not good with people, I told you” Hatori gently scolded, walking in the room. Yuki haven’t noticed he has gone. Akito immediately took refuge behind Hatori, visibly uneasy with Kagura destructive behavior. Rin stayed at the corner of the room while Haru introduced himself to his god. Kisa was behind the ox, mimicking Akito hiding behind Hatori. She started to move out and slowly talking to Haru and then Kisa. Hiro stepped in a moment later, when he noticed that the tiger was not by his side.

Hatori looked at Akito with a gentle smile, like a brother at his little sister. Yuki walked to the doctor but before he could say a word, Momiji already talked “Hari, where did you go?” he asked gently. Yuki nodded, straight to the point. “Ah, I was calling Shigure, telling him that Akito was here.” He said, keeping an eye on the goddess who was in conversation with Haru. The man was easy to talk with, they weren’t surprised that Akito was preferring to be with him at the moment.

“Shigure? Why?” asked Yuki maybe too roughly, it left Momiji confused. “Well, he is a zodiac too and he want to see her as much as we did!” he shrugged. Yuki frowned; the rabbit wasn’t aware of that the dog have decided to leave Akito months ago. “You should have called Kureno instead.” Added Yuki, crossing his arms. All the zodiacs had known the news about Kureno being fired by Ren, it has been a real shock.

“I couldn’t join him, he is still moving in his new place.” Explained Hatori. “it’s sad that Ritsu isn’t here too…He missed the occasion to meet her…Oh, maybe we should call Ayame??” asked Momiji only to be crushed out of nowhere by Kyo from behind “Don’t even think about it”

“Waaah!!! Kyo is hurting me!!” whined Momiji “You’re mean!! I won’t let you having any beef you’ll see!”

“As if I care!!” he roared back before stopping at Akito blank stare. Tonight will be a long night.


	37. Chapter 36

Yuki was with the rest of cousins while Tohru was with Kagura in the kitchen preparing tonight fondue. Akito had succeeded to make sure that Momiji won’t hug her again tonight and she was now looking at the TV with Kisa and Hiro with great attention. Yuki knew she don’t have a TV in her house so she was probably enjoying this. However, he found curious how she looked familiar with the engine. Maybe it was because of the mangas Yuki gave her when they were youngers.

“Uno” said Haru, putting six red and Rin pouted while Kyo gasped in lost. Momiji added a skip card for Kyo and the cat started to roast him. Yuki held back a comment about how noisy was Kyo and he drawn a card. The game ended when Haru put his last card. Kyo asked to do it the revenge but Rin walked in a corner and started to draw there. She had enough interaction for now. Haru shrugged turned his head toward the TV. Momiji jeered at Kyo for being ignored.

Yuki sighed, glad that Kazuma was out for today. It happened more and more by the time lately, often in others dojo to give help and coming late the night. Ayame had once came a night, telling that he found unacceptable that his dear little brother was left at home with a girl and a brute without any guardian to watch them. Yuki really wanted to murder him this time; well he wanted each time he was seeing Ayame, but he had to admit…Lately, seeing his brother was less a bother than it was before.

But the fact was that he didn’t like people making innuendo about him and Tohru, it sounded wrong, sick. As if they were talking about his mother. Though, he had to admit, watching Tohru and Kyo getting embarrassed was enjoyable. However, knowing that they got so few time left was heartbreaking, he could see in both eyes how sad they were by this. Yuki stared at Akito’s back, maybe…

When he stretched his arm toward her, the door slid open to a Hatori accompanied with Shigure. “Ah! So cold!” said the latter, sneezing. Yuki frowned, throwing a deathly glare to the dog. He wanted him to get away from Akito. He did not forgive him for abandoning her and hurting her without a reason. It has been horrible. He remembered that he called her, trying to console her, but she hung up the moment he mentioned the subject.

Why Shigure was here, what for? He did abandon her and now he was swanning back. Yuki wanted to strangle him, worse than he wanted to with Ayame. At least, his problem with his brother was his stupidity, if Yuki tried to not think about the fact that Ayame had ignored his whole existence until he graduated middle school. But Shigure…He really have been horrible to Akito, and knowing that he did hurt her. To Yuki’s eyes, he wasn’t allowed to be here, and he was sure that Akito agreed with him. Anyway, he decided that tonight, he was going to keep the man away from her a much as possible.

Akito spared a quick glance at him before taking her attention back on the TV; Shigure didn’t try neither to talk to her, as if they both agreed to ignore each other. Yuki made a face, yeah, it was fair. But he had expected Akito to jump on him and scream, ignoring him was just…Out of character.

“Ah! Shigure-san, welcome!” Said Tohru, coming out of the kitchen, wiping her dirty hands on her apron. “I’m really glad that you are here!” she said in delight and Shigure winked “Of course, I couldn’t miss one of your dishes Tohru-kun~” She simply laughed cheerily, not understanding Shigure insinuation, or maybe she was too mature and decided to ignore it with a big smile…No, Tohru was too gullible, she just didn’t understand. Anyway, it didn’t matter because Hatori pulled him away by the ear toward the kotatsu.

“Oh no Haa-san, please, it hurts!!” he whined and Yuki enjoyed each one of his pained noise. His attention was back on the TV when he recognized Mogeta. He had a thought about Machi, it looked like she liked that childish anime. Unconsciously, he continued to watch, thinking that maybe he will be able to talk about it with the student council treasurer in the future. Yuki liked the idea. He was so into it that he didn’t noticed Akito standing up and walking out of the door, nor Shigure following her a few time later. 

He turned his head right and left “Where is Akito?” he asked, hiding his worries. “Ah, she said she was coming back.” Answered Haru who was making a braid with Rin’s hair, Yuki frowned and walked out of the room, searching for Akito and hoping that Shigure hasn’t find her yet. He climbed the stair and hear voice in an empty room, the one where Kazuma was stocking useless furniture.

Yuki saw Shigure’s back through ajar doors, he was ready to walk in when he saw him and Akito suddenly hugging. Shigure caught her and they turned joyfully together, there were happiness in that act and it made Yuki stop in his track. He found himself impossible to move anymore. Akito had put her head on his shoulder and he was kissing her forehead. “Here, I’m here Akito…” he said gently, in a voice that Yuki never heard coming from him. It was so soft, and it sounded so genuine, it was so out of character. Suddenly, Akito burst into tears and Shigure was cradling and hushing her. Yuki’s eyes widened in shock, they looked like…lovers.

“I was so scared” she said between sobs and he put his chin on the top of her head. “Here, here” he said again “Tell me, what happened? Hatori told me you refused to tell him.” He said, wiping her tears off. She whimpered “it’s…It’s your fault!” she sniffed and Shigure scoffed. “What?” he sounded amazed, as if she just told him a joke. She grabbed him by the collar “It’s because you left marks!” she roared and Yuki heart missed a beat, too much information, he knows that he shouldn’t be here, that he should go but his feet were taking root in the ground. Shigure sneered “I call that marks of ownership” he said proudly. Akito gritted her teeth and Yuki felt that his cheeks were too hot for comfort.

“She found out Shigure!” she said angrily “And she…” she brought her hand to her neck, the colors of her face draining. Shigure took her wrists and pulled them on his chest. She looked at him with horrified eyes, tears threatening to pour out again. “Shigure, she arranged a marriage” she said with a broken voice and Shigure stood silent. Yuki’s eyes widened in shock; they were... “He…When he came in my house, he…” started to cry again.

He rubbed his hand on her forearm and pulled her closer in his embrace. “I hated it” she said in a whisper “His breath, his hands and lips on me…” she sobbed and Shigure had a dark look on his face that she couldn’t see but that scared Yuki. “It made me sick…” she continued before hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

“How did you go?” he asked in a quiet voice, its softness was clashing with the raw anger he was showing in his eyes. Yuki had the impression of seeing for the first time the real man that was Shigure. “I threw a vase on his head when he tried to put his hands in my…” she stopped herself, gasping in horror by remembering. “A vase?” he asked and she nodded “Yeah, that’s my girl” he said sweetly and proudly, hugging her tight. She had a subtle smile and she sniffed.

Yuki felt like he heard already too much and he tried to take the control back of his body. Moving his shivering leg was hard but when he succeeded, the other followed and he walked back to his cousins.

How it happened? Those two...Obviously they were lovers, but how? Since when? It didn't make any sense, Akito was locked in her house and nobody could go in...So how...

“Hey Yuki, are you alright? Look like you saw a ghost.” Said Kagura who was setting the table. Hatori put his hand on his forehead, worried. “Nn, no, I’m alright, I just feel a little dizzy, I’ll be better if I sit.”

“You found Akito?” asked Haru when he took his place next to him. “Ah, yeah, she went out to take some fresh air before eating.” He lied. Akito and Shigure came back a moment later. She looked like the same the have been before she went out, as if she did not break down in Shigure’s arms earlier and Yuki thought painfully that it must have happened a lot of times to her to the point she has mastered the trick.

Shigure made a big and stupid smile when Yuki’s eyes met his. The boy gulped and looked down, unable to face him.

* * *

They were all conversing vividly around the table. Shigure spotted Rin and Akito talking about what the girl wanted to do after high school. “I want to do art, but without money it’s hard…” she said, chewing a vegetable. Akito listened with attention and Tohru came after to tell her how Rin was talented. Shigure smirked at this, it was funny and Shigure wondered if it was a consequence of the curse, but all the zodiacs were somehow very good in respective fields. As an example, he and his mabudachi. Hatori was one of the best doctors they could have, and he had a psychic power, Ayame was able to sew the finest dresses and he, he had nothing to prove anymore with his writing.

He allowed himself to glance once more at Akito. Shigure was glad to see her talking with the rest of the zodiac, she looked so happy. However, even if he was glad by seeing her cheerful, this situation will probably bring more complications. Now that she had met the rest of the zodiacs, Akito will be eager to stay by their side. She was creating links with them. But it will be harder for her to leave. Even if Akito was starting to revolt against Ren -and it was already a huge improvement, he was so proud of her; It won’t be enough.

He was so angry at that faceless person who touched places that nobody else but him had the right to, that person who made her cry. And Yuki saw it all, what a drag. Shigure rested his chin on his hand, taking a piece of meat from the nabe pot. For sure, he couldn’t let Akito go back there, and she would refuse to. However, Shigure was aware that she couldn’t stay here. She wasn’t safe in the estate. And even if that man refused to marry Akito after what happened, Ren will probably find another suitor and it could continue for a long time. Shigure wished that Akito had done more than throwing a vase on his head, but she must have been terrified. He was relieved she succeeded to escape before worse things could have happened.

The truth was, everything happened at the right time. With his savings and the money he had earned thank to his best-seller, he had finally bought a house for him and Akito to live. Everything was ready, all he needed was a little more money. That’s why he arrived here later than planned. He had a long meeting at the bank but it had ended well. And then, as if fate decided to play in his side, Hatori called him to say that Akito escaped from her house.

Now he needed to find another moment in private with her to talk again with her about the opportunity to run away together. In hope that this time, she won’t scream at him and will listen with attention. Shigure felt really guilty to think that but…The behavior of this man had probably changed Akito’s mind, but once again, seeing by the way of how she was glad to be around her zodiacs, the chance of her wanting to stay were high. Maybe she will try a putsch or something. He guessed a part of the family will be glad by her doing it, but Shigure disliked the idea of her staying in this place, even if as the chief of the family. No, Shigure wanted her and him to start a new life together and he was going to do it.

He was the man who had been able to catch the sun in his muzzle. Nothing could stop him to achieve his dreams and desires.

“Ah, Akito-san! It’s such a shame that you couldn’t see Ricchan!” Said Kagura who was crushing an exhausted Kyo in a hug. When she saw the goddess frowning, she quickly added “He is the cursed of the Monkey!” she put a finger in the air. “Richan is funny~” laughed Momiji and by seeing the way she scowled, Akito wasn’t believing him. “Why he isn’t here?” she asked after swallowing her cabbage.

“He is a student in college, so he couldn’t come here.” Explained Yuki. “Ah! But maybe we should call Aaya!” said Shigure in a jeer only to have Kyo and Yuki taking him by the collar before he could reach the phone “don’t even think about it bastard.”

“But, i thought Akito-san wanted all of us to be gathered” he tears-faked.

“As if Akito would want to meet that moron!” groaned Kyo and Hiro turned over Akito's direction “believe me Akito-san, you don’t lose anything by not meeting him.” She tried to open her mouth to explain that she already met him, but Shigure saw she decided against it and rolled her eyes, looking blasé. Hatori send her an understanding glance. Haru patted the sheep's head “You’re really respectful tonight, it’s refreshing…”

“What are you saying? I’m always respectful!” talked back Hiro, his chin high. “Huh, what about that time you called Tohru-chan a peasant?” said Momiji with a cat alike smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” said Hiro with provocative eyes. “You called Tohru a what?!” roared Kyo, still holding Shigure by the collar.

“Ah uhm I…” tried to say the girl, trying to ease the mood. Hatori was massaging his temple, wondering who he will have to sew once they will stop fighting, Rin already fled in another room. “Well, isn’t that true though? Yuki found her in a tent!” Hiro said with a smirk, shrugging and continuing to taunt Kyo.

Then, as an angel, little Kisa pulled him by the sleeve and said in a quiet voice that fitted her angelic look “Hiro-kun, it’s a bad thing to say…You should apologize…” the boy mouth went agape and his cheeks took a reddish colors, then puffing, he apologized.

“It’s alright Hiro-kun” said Tohru in a smile “I already forgave you!” she laughed delighting and Hiro called her stupid. Shigure sneered at this, they were so young, he wanted to protect Tohru so much, Shigure somehow understand how he felt.

They all helped Tohru to clear off the table and then Kisa’s mother, so protective about her daughter fetched her girl. Shigure pulled Akito in Tohru’s bedroom, where she was going to sleep tonight, before the mother could see her in the house. “You won’t take me in your house?” she asked quietly and Shigure smiled and shook his head. “Nah, they still searching you outside, it would be too dangerous for you.” He explained, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear. Frowned and pulled him off.

“So you’re going to leave me again.” She said, crossing her arms and Shigure had to hold back a sigh. He preferred to stay quiet, not wanting to fight here where the others could hear them. Akito moaned in frustration “Why you say nothing?!” she said.

“If it’s just to fight, I don’t see the need.” He answered, staring still the wall indifferent when he heard her gasp. From the corner of his eyes, he saw her hugging herself. “Akito…” he called, wondering if she was doing in purpose or if she was serious.

“What if she finds me here…” she said “It’s where Yuki live, it would be logic that I’m here…” and Shigure smiled softly. “Akito…”

“I’m serious. I don’t want to go there Shigure! What if he is still here and that he wants to…” she anxiously wrapped her arms around her body, shielding it as if the man was in the room. “Akito, it’s already late. And before being Yuki’s house, it’s Kyo’s” he had a sour laugh “they fear the cat.”

“I don’t want to stay here” she said stubbornly and Shigure took her by the chin. He could see how her eyes were wet “Shigure…” she called “Take me away please…Take me away from here.” She said.

“Akito if they saw you outside it will be-”

“I wasn’t saying this! I want to go away from here! I…I want to leave the estate…” It was all he needed. He slowly took her in his arms and she leant into his body, feeling safer here. “Really Akito?” he said “You want to leave your dear, dear zodiacs?” he asked with a hint of sadism in the voice, he felt guilty but he couldn’t help it, he won.

She sniffed in his shoulder but she nodded “I have enough, please…” she said breathlessly. He held her tighter and rubbed her back and then put his nose in her hair, scenting it. “I bought a house today” she rose her head, the eyes wide and he smiled kindly. “A house just for us at half of hour from Inuyama…” She frowned, not liking the name of the city and he scoffed “Yeah, I know, listen, I found it funny” he quickly added before resting his cheek on the top of her head.

“Just the two of us…” she said slowly. “But what if they find us?” she asked and Shigure laughed “haha, we just need to disappear then~” he said playfully, winking at her and she frowned, realizing slowly what was his plan. “We are going to leave everything behind us? But, what about Yuki? Or, or your job? And Hatori? You will never see them again”

Shigure kissed her gently before winking. “Sacrifice everything for love, isn’t that romantic.” He laughed, as if he wasn’t the one who will lose the more. “But, how will we earn money?”

“Hm, I contacted a new edition house there with a new pen name, they have been charmed~ Next month, sir Ichiro Minagawa will publish his first book.” He made a victory sign and Akito rolled her eyes. “Be serious” she said and Shigure shrugged “But I am?” he laughed and framed her face with his hands and he looked at her gravely, not scared of showing her who he was, she already knew. “I’m not throwing a tantrum, I’ve been thinking about it for a long, long time”

Akito expression did not change, she was frowning as ever. Shigure knew there were many things she wanted to say but she didn’t know how to approach the subject. However, he won’t allow her back-fire this. “Can you promise that if I go with you, I will never see her again?” she finally said, surprising him.

“Yeah, I can assure you this.” He said “I won’t let her hurt you” he stuck his forehead to hers and she closed her eyes, humming before slowly smiling. Her cheeks took an adorable pink color. “When are we going?” she asked, vividly and Shigure chuckled “If you want, we can go tomorrow” he smiled and Akito’s eyes widened in joy. “Let’s take a train and go!” she said loudly, cupping his hands on her face and they both laughed cheerfully.

“No, you can’t…” interrupted a voice. The lovers turned their head toward the door. “Tohru?” asked Akito in a small voice, the eyes wide in shock.

“You can’t!” Repeated Tohru, shivering in anguish. “I won’t allow you to leave!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Inuyama is a city in Aichi region, it litterally mean 'Dog mountain'


	38. Chapter 37

Ren was glad, so, so glad that all the anger she had been feeling the previous hours disappeared.

“I always knew that hiring you was the best choice I ever made, Honda-san.” Said Ren with a smirk, her eyes moving between the girl and her daughter that was just behind her, kept still by Tohru who was holding her tight by the wrist. After a long night of research, Tohru was the one who finally the one who had her hand on Akito. Ren was glad that it ended that way. She was so glad that she forgot to be angry at Akito because of the accident provoked with the Murashima clan. She paid the compensation and they had both settled with that. However, they were now never going to form an alliance for good. Too bad, too bad, it was such a good occasion.

“Madam Ren…Yo-you have to do what you promised me to.” Said Tohru, shivering but holding still Akito. Ren rolled her eyes, well, she did not care. “Sure” she said, sitting behind her chabudai and started writing the cat’s room demolition permits and then handed it to the girl. Little she knew that without the Sohma’s stamp, this paper will be useless. Akito having the stamp was a real drag because she had to wait for Akito to sign all the papers that she written, the permits, allowance... However, for this case it was good, never Akito would allow the cat’s room to be demolished. Everything was perfect. And even if Akito end up stamping it, Ren won’t care, actually, she will enjoy it in fact. The family that was in Akito’s side will be outraged and she will lose more followers. It was as if fate was by her side.

“Here it is” she said, handing the paper to Tohru who let go Akito’s wrist to take the paper. The woman saw it as an occasion to flee and ran toward the door, only to be stopped by servants who grabbed her violently. “Tohru, can you go with the others and lead Akito back in her room?” she ordered with a nasty smile. The girl bowed “Yes Madam Ren” and then she executed herself, holding the paper against her chest tightly.

Akito, like she given up all her will to escape, let the girl took her wrist and leading her back to her room. Ren hummed a little song as she caressed her husband photo. “This little Honda is worth any trust. I’m so glad to have such a kind girl to obey me.” She said to herself.

Ren smiled to herself, with this, all the zodiacs will hate Tohru. They won’t trust anybody else from the outside again. All was perfect

* * *

The mood has been the worst in Kazuma’s house, Tohru knew why and she wasn’t regretting anything, but it still hurt when she saw how disappointed Yuki and the others were toward her. But even so, Kyo and Momiji still continued to talk with her, she was so grateful, it made her cry. She hoped they will forgive her.

The breakfasts that used to be animated by Kyo yells and Yuki remarks were now just quiet. It was horrible and Tohru knew she was the cause of that, but she didn’t have the choice…She didn’t. Tohru remembered her mother saying once that sometime, to help the people you love, you have to be hated by them. She understood now what her mother meant and she knew that she was doing something very important. Even if they don’t notice it yet, she was doing it for them, for all of them.

Sighing and feeling herself like the girl in the drama she used to watch with her mother before sleeping, she dried a glass and then she put it in the cupboard. She missed those times where she was laughing with Kyo and Yuki. She quickly wiped a tear that was threatening to fall, no, she couldn’t allow herself to be weak. Saki had proposed her to sleep at home if thing were starting to get too hard for her, but she decided against it. She still have things to do here.

“Kyo! Yuki! Tohru!” screamed Kazuma, sliding open the doors. Tohru jolted in the kitchen while Kyo turned his attention from the TV to look at his master. “Shishou, why are you screaming?”

“Kyo…I…” Said Kazuma, out of breath before pulling his son in his tight embrace. Tohru couldn’t help but spy their embrace, and a smile grew on her face. Yuki was looking at them, confused. “Wa-wait that’s for?” said Kyo, the face red once he escaped from his master’s arms. Kazuma put his hand on his cheek and he looked at him proudly, like a father watching his son first steps. “Ren ordered the cat’s room to be demolished. The destruction started today!”

Kyo eyes widened, he wasn’t believing what he was hearing. He looked down to his wrists, even if he was still cursed, it felt like the invisible chains that were tying him down weren’t here anymore, that he was free. It was strange, he used to stop thinking about future, knowing that once high school will be over, he will be imprisoned, but now…Now he was going to live, he had a future to think about. It somehow made him anxious but also, so happy. He suddenly turned his head where Tohru’s was. He wanted to see her reaction of the new, he wanted her to know. He wanted to tell her what he had in mind, he wanted…

Tohru had quickly resumed her position and she was showing her back, facing the kitchen sink, wiping the plates. She hoped she wasn’t too obvious. She was too focused on her task to be inconspicuous that she hasn’t noticed Yuki staring at her. The boy was already putting the pieces together and walked in the kitchen. “Honda-san.” He called, making the girl jolt.

“Y-yes?” she asked sheepishly, turning pointing her nose in his direction. Yuki titled his head “Honda-san, are you maybe implied in this?” he asked softly and Tohru colors drained. “Hm…it’s that…” her breath hitched; Yuki was looking at her with sad eyes. Finally understanding, or so he thought, the reason behind Tohru’s actions. He looked down and decided to go in his room. Now alone in the kitchen, Tohru looked the door Yuki disappeared through before removing her apron. “Everybody, I’m sorry…” she whispered to herself.

She changed her clothes in her room, putting her servant uniform. She decided she was ready once she tied she obi and she walked out of Kazuma’s house to go at Akito’s. She entered without fearing to be denied the entrance, yet still anxious and crossing her arms around her chest. Ren entrusted her like with Akito under her charge, she was her official maid in all the house eyes. The servants haven’t spared her much attention, they were too busy with a man screaming at her madly “You can’t destroy the room! He is a monster! He killed his own mother you can’t let him out like that!!”

“Sir, please listen us, this is a decision from Akito-san and Ren-san, there is nothing we can do.” A woman tried to explain only to be shut down by another scream from the man. Tohru was terrified by this person and she wondered who he was.

She shook her head and resumed was she was doing. Pulling even closer her kimono, she walked through the hallway and slid open the door giving in Akito’s living room. “Shigure was really right, she does trust me” she whispered to herself.

She walked straight toward Akito’s room and knocked. “Akito-san! It’s Tohru, I’m coming in.” she said joyfully before sliding the fusuma doors and entering. Akito welcomed her from the chabudai. “Oh, Tohru, hello.” She said, sparring a quick glance before resuming what she was doing. “Akito-san is writing?” asked Tohru with curiosity, wondering what she was writing on the paper. Akito simply blushed and stamped the paper before folding it and slid it in an envelope. From where she was, she saw the woman writing Kisa’s name and then, putting the envelope on a pile of sealed letters.

“So, tomorrow right?” said Tohru, kneeling down beside Akito who nodded before taking another paper and starting to write a new letter. However, after a few seconds of silence, she stopped and let the pen fall on the wooden table. “To be honest…I’m scared it won’t work.” She confessed.

“Huh? Not why, Shigure planned everything, and look!” Tohru opened her kimono and pulled out a new rope ladder out of her_ nagajuban_. “I brought this!” she said proudly. Akito blinked “Wait, you were the one who put that ladder then?!” she gasped and Tohru laughed sweetly. “Yes, it’s Shigure-san who asked me to do that.” She explained, charmed by Akito and Shigure love story.

Akito rolled her eyes and took the ladder, studying it. “Tohru…Why are you doing that much for me?” she asked, confused by the girl behavior. “Because of what happened, the others must hate you.”

Tohru’s smile fall and she looked down. “Hating is…I’m not sure, probably disappointed…” she was so sad about it, she knew it was showing and she didn’t like this, so she forced herself to remember her mother’s words. “To do something good, you sometime need to hurt…” she whispered to herself. Akito frowned “What?” she snapped it out to the point it made Tohru jolt in surprise. She blinked and then made a gesture of the hands, embarrassed.

“It’s just…I was thinking about my mother!” she smiled and Akito tilted her head like a curious child. She told to her the wise words her mother had once spoke to her. Akito hummed and rested her chin on her palm “I wish I had a mother like that too…” she said and Tohru noted that it was the first time Akito had talked about Ren as her mother.

“Akito-san, for who are you writing those letters?” she asked, changing the subject. The woman went still and downed her eyes on the table, looking at the papers “I…” she was obviously at lost for words; she didn’t know how to describe what she had in mind without sounding silly like Tohru would be. She straightened her back and squared her shoulders, looking very much like the family chief she should be. “I…Refuse to go without giving them something to help them in the future.” She just said and then, she took her pen and wrote.

Tohru was amazed by the woman in front of her and she wondered if in another world, one where Akito has been with them since the beginning of the story, they would have been happier. Tohru desperately hoped it was the case. But a curse is a curse, and it bounds everybody to be unhappy, whatever the scenario.

“You know Akito-san, they started to demolish the cat’s room.” Said Tohru. Akito hummed in answer, her attention on the letter she was writing for Momiji. “Then, everything is working as planned, isn’t that good?”

“Yes, I’m glad…But, I’m somehow scared that Ren-san discover everything.” Muttered Tohru. If Ren were to discover everything was planned…Akito sneered nastily. “Welcome in my world, please take a seat and enjoy yourself.” She said with sarcasm, a fake smile on her lips, it made the girl laugh. Akito frowned, not expecting Tohru to react that way. “I’m sorry, it’s just that, you sounded very like Shigure-san.”

Tohru understood why the man had fallen in love with her when she saw Akito blush “What are you saying…” she pouted, like a child.

“Anyway!” she clapped suddenly, bringing her hands together and making Akito jolt in surprise. “Let’s put the ladder!!” Tohru said before taking the rope with her and rushing in the garden. Akito blinked and followed her. “Do you need help?” she asked with hesitation, Tohru gently nodded. “Yes please, last time it was been hard but together we can do it quickly.” Akito followed her, twisting her fingers anxiously, looking sometime back to make sure nobody would catch them. They stopped in front of the wall and the younger turned her nose in Akito direction.

“Hm…So…” she started, unsure. “I think if one of us get on the other shoulders…”

“I’m not letting you climb on me Tohru.” She talked back without missing a beat. “Ah…Sure” she bashfully said and bent down to let Akito climb on her back. Tohru was glad that in PE, she stretched a lot with Arisa, it prepared her to carry Akito's weight. However, it was different because Uo-chan was insisting to be the one holding Tohru. But lucky for her, Akito was pretty light.

The woman fastened the rope ladder to the wall and made sure it was well tied, then she asked Tohru to pull her down. She dusted her clothes with a gesture of the hand and returned in her room. Tohru followed her, glad to have succeeded today’s mission without any trouble. She decided to go clean the house one last time before Akito departure tomorrow morning. “When Shigure-san will fetch you?” she asked to the woman writing, she completely forgot the details of the plan. “Hum, at dawn, before people wake up.” She answered “We will go to the bank and then head to the train station.”

Tohru frowned “But, didn’t Shigure-san bought plane tickets?” she asked. “Yes… He didn’t tell me why.” Probably in case to confuse people who will search them tomorrow when they will notice her absence. The silence was back and Tohru wondered if she should say something. “Akito-san…” she called again, the woman hummed but didn’t rise her head up from the letter she was writing and slid it in an envelope, then took another paper and wrote another letter.

“Akito-san, you don’t hold any grudge on me…If I haven’t saw you that night, you and Shigure-san would already be far away…” she said reluctantly. Akito continued to write, but her hand moved more slowly, there were a long silence that made Tohru anxious before she put down the pen. “Actually…I think I’m somehow grateful” she said slowly, trying to expresses her thoughts. “That night I was tired and I had enough of everything, I just wanted all to be over.” She took a deep breath “but, thank to you, I took my time to think about it…And you were right.” Tohru closed her eyes, remembering that night.

_“You can’t go! You can’t go and leave Kyo-kun get imprisoned! I won’t let you!!”_ Her owns screams echoed in her head. “I can’t leave them without any weapons against Ren” Tohru’s eyes narrowed before she closed her eyelids and beamed warmly “Akito-san…”

Akito stamped the last letters and slid the Sohma’s clan stamp with the letter in the envelope. “Tohru, give them the letters as soon as possible tomorrow.” She ordered, handing the precious letters to the girl. Tohru nodded and Akito allowed herself to stand up and stretched her hand to Tohru. “I guess this is a goodbye.”

Tohru eyed the hand Akito was showing and instead of shaking it, she took the woman in her arms. Akito made a yelp of surprise, not expecting Tohru to be so daring. “Even if it wasn’t for long, I’m glad I’ve met you Akito-san!” she said warmly "I will always consider you as a friend!" Akito blushed, embarrassed, but she didn’t try to pull Tohru away. She told herself she could indulge the girl, even if deep down, she knew it was because she really loved her and she was sad to tell her goodbye. She wished she would have known Tohru earlier. She closed her eyes painfully "You were a great friend, Tohru."

The girl let her go and gave her a shiny smile “Akito-san, I wish you the best!” Akito hummed, still blushing. “Yeah…And you…” she started, wanted to wish the best to her too but decided against it. “Watch Kyo well, this kid looks really clumsy.” Tohru pink cheeks turned red in an instant and she started to stammered. “Wha-what are you saying Akito-san, waah.” She squealed before smiling one last time to the woman and hide the letters in the fold of her kimono. When she walked out of the house, the young girl couldn’t retain her tears and she had to take a moment to stop before going home.

On her way home she decided to go see Shigure, she wanted to bid her goodbye to him too. She smiled sadly by thinking she couldn’t hold him to say farewell as she did with Akito. She knocked at the open door and preyed in the house. “Ah? Tohru-kun” she heard and then saw Shigure with books under the arms and wearing a casual yukata. “What bring you here?” he smiled.

“Well…I wanted to say goodbye before you go” she said “Akito-san told me you were going at dawn” she explained and Shigure hummed. “What a nice girl, I’m gonna miss you a lot you know.” He patted her head like brotherly. “Thank you so much for what you done.” He smiled gently.

“Here, you want at least tea? I know that Akito isn’t that generous to offer it.” He sneered and Tohru felt the need to defend Akito even when Shigure was obviously messing with her. He put his hand on her head “Sorry Tohru-kun, I was joking.”

“Ah…Yes…I’m okay with tea…” she said slowly, embarrassed. Shigure chuckled and leaded her to the living room. She installed herself at the table in seiza while he boiled water. She noticed how empty the house was. Before there used to have papers and books laying around, but all of this disappeared. “Shigure-san…The house is…”

“Hm? Well, I already sent my useful stuffs in that house, like my pc or books.” He explained, putting the cup on the table. “I’m going to let piece of furniture here, if somebody want to move in, they’re free to do it.” He sneered and took a sip. “Then…Maybe Kureno-san?” she said hazardous, but Shigure frowned for half of second before making a big smile and a gesture of the hand “No way Tohru-kun, he has his own house now haha.”

“Oh…” she bowed her head. “…Shigure-san, you know where it is?” she asked quietly. The man took a few seconds to answer “Well…There is a Sohma propriety near of the forest, I think it’s kind of close of your high school. He lives there now.”

“I see…” she clenched the letters she was hiding in her kimono. Tomorrow, she will have to give him his letters. She hoped that the rest of the zodiacs will listen her and forgive. Shigure smiled to her. “Tohru-kun, I’m sure they will all understand you, I’m going to call Haa-san as soon as we are arrive tomorrow, it’s unfair for you to be misunderstood when you helped so much.” He said in a gentle tone, looking at her kindly.

“It’s normal Shigure-san! Mom always said that you shall always help the people who love!” Shigure chuckled in a confused way “I see, I see, your mother was a great person.”

“Yes, very much…Shigure-san?” she was confused when she noticed how warmly he was looking at her. “Just…thank you Tohru-kun without you, we wouldn’t have been able to do it. Really.” Tohru felt like crying again. Ah, farewell hurt so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Nagajuban: long cloth you put under your kimono, kind of underwear. 
> 
> Wow, next chapter is the last and then it's the epilogue!  
I'm shivering in emotions! I hope you will all like the end of the story haha


	39. Chapter 38

She closed her bag easily, after all she didn’t owned much, and then she put her fox plush under the arm. It was still dark outside, but Akito could see the first rays from the rising sun. She climbed the ladder and looked at the other side of the wall, Shigure was already here, waiting, two suitcases behind him. He caught the bag and the plush that Akito threw him and then, he helped her to go down. She giggled happily and they kissed. “Hush” he said in a smile “we’re not out yet.” Yet, him too was holding back a little laugh of delight and her kissed her cheek before taking her hand.

She just couldn’t contain her joy; she could hear her own heartbeat echoing in her ears. She pulled the smallest suitcase as Shigure took her bag on his back and dragged the biggest suitcase behind him. They carefully made few noises as possible as they walked away. She hoped to exit by the big gates of the Sohma estate, but he told her they weren’t open at this hour yet, so they passed through a big hole that fitted both of them. Shigure confessed that he and Ayame always used this hole to go out the night when they were students.

By the time they were out of the Sohma propriety, the day light appeared and the birds were singing. Only then she talked to him. “What about the bank?”

“Don’t worry, I did go yesterday” he swung their intertwined hands high “everything is in order.” He hailed a taxi and Akito was surprised to see one so early in the morning. “But, I wonder Akito, will it be okay?”

“Of course, it’s my money to begin with.” She smirked naughtily and Shigure find her beautiful “Ren have been keeping it all that time.”

“Still, I never saw that many zero before haha, we’re so rich”

“I am rich, you’re just a parasite living on my expense.” She talked back and Shigure made an overexaggerated gasp before whining. “But Akito-saan, we’re eloping, we are sharing everythiiiing”. Akito groaned, he knew this voice was annoying her and he used it on purpose. She bumped her elbow in his stomach and he sneered. “Annoying.” She grunted and put her suitcase in the taxi trunk.

* * *

Tohru was humming a Korean song that Hana made her listen and that was staying in her head. She was happy, even though she cried a lot the day before, she was just…So glad for Shigure and Akito. In emotion she held her hands against her heart and think about how it was like in movies. “Ah mom, I wish you would have been here to see this” she muttered to herself in a little voice.

“Hm? Tohru, you’re still here? What about your job?” Kyo walked in the kitchen with surprise to see her here. Tohru turned toward him with a big smile. “No, my job at the main house is over!” she said in a beam and the boy was bewildered, he never saw somebody that happy to lose a job. “Ah? What do you mean?” he was even more confused and was now scratching his head.

“Oh! That’s true!” she said, suddenly clapping her hands together then rushing in her room. She almost crashed into a half-asleep Yuki who was walking in the table direction to eat the breakfast. “My, my, she is sure very energitic.” Laughed kindly Kazuma from his seat.

She came back, running so messily that Kyo had to tell to calm down or she was going to hurt herself. Her smile went wider as she handed him the letter that Akito had written for him. “Please, read it quickly!” she urged before turning toward Yuki and giving his letter.

The boy blinked hardly and opened the letter with his eyes half-open. However, when he recognized the god’s hand writing he immediately went awake and scanned the paper with great attention. Tohru wanted to ask to Yuki and Kyo what was in the letter, but she was scared that she would sound too curious. It was something private between them and Akito…But still she couldn’t help but being curious. She looked anxiously at Kyo who was re-reading the letter. “Kyo-kun? What does Akito-san say?”

Kyo snapped when he heard the girl quiet voice and looked at her with wide eyes. “Ah… It’s…” he avoided her eyes and stared at his feet. “…She said she wished we talked more and…She assure me that she had done her possible about the cat’s room destruction and my freedom…She…” he looked at Tohru and blushed. The content of the letter flashing in his mind again, telling it was Tohru’s wish for him to be free. Explaining that she insisted that Akito would assure Kyo’s freedom for the rest of his life. Gosh, he loved this girl so much, didn’t she know the effect she had on him?

“Really Kyo-kun? I’m so glad…So, so glad!” She knew the cat’s room already started to be demolished, but Akito’s letter and the family mark at the end of the letter made it all official and unbreakable. They were the family’s head and the cursed by the god’s spirit's words. Nothing could change that.

“Honda-san” Yuki’s voice brought her back to reality. “Is Akito really gone?” he asked, his own letter in hand with a huge bank-check. Kyo yelled a ‘What?!’ when she nodded. She saw Yuki sadly frowning, _yeah…_He hadn’t the chance to tell her goodbye in person. Tohru felt guilty. “What do you mean she is gone? How?!” He tried to take the letter that Yuki had in hand but the boy pulled the letter away.

“Do-don’t fight…” Tohru tried to walk between them but she didn’t want to take the risk of transforming them. “Please! Don’t fight!” she said louder, making them jolt and then bow their head in shame. Yuki looked at the paper in his hand and he suddenly rushed to the genkan to put his shoes. Tohru didn’t understand, but she followed, and Kyo, seeing the girl he loved running after another man, followed too.

Yuki at Shigure’s and opened the door loudly, thinking seeing Akito in the middle of the living room. He saw instead Mitsuru standing up in the middle of an empty room, reading. She turned around when she heard noise “Sense- oh…It’s you” she said with a little voice.

“Oi! Shigure is not here?” asked Kyo who arrived behind Tohru. Mitsuru looked as lost as the boys and Tohru continued to twist her fingers anxiously. She didn’t know if she should tell about Akito and Shigure relationship so soon, what if somebody caught them before they’re leaving and that Akito is forced back in the mansion, oh no. Tohru don’t want that to happen. Shigure had worked so hard, she didn’t want all the hard-work to go waste. Tohru saw marks around Akito’s neck, she saw how sad was this person, forced to live only in three-room. She looked at Kyo and she feel relieved, egoist and relieved. But she was so happy that Kyo won’t know this fate that she didn’t feel guilty to notice how egoist she was.

“I’m sorry…I allowed myself in because sensei always try to escape...” Mitsuru was searching her words “He told me he was going to move but he didn’t tell me it was so soon…” The three teenagers could feel how anxious the woman was. Moving her eyes between them and the draft of novel’s last chapter. The happy ending.

Kyo was starting to lose patience “What the fuck does that mean?!” Yuki clicked his tongue, clearly frustrated.

“That’s mean she eloped with that bastard!” Tohru paled. Yuki knew.

* * *

Akito looked at the train ticket while she swallowed her breakfast. “You asked Tohru before taking her identity to book me that ticket?” Shigure rose his nose from his coffee and looked at her with stupid eyes. “Of course I did Akito!” No, he didn’t.

Actually, at first he had thought about buying Akito’s ticket with Mitsuru name, impersonate her as his editor accompanying him. But if they tried to call the editor office, they might be found out. Tohru will be able to lie to Ren since she was already knowing the details. Plus, Ren was trusting her thank to the ploy they made the day Tohru brought Akito back to her. Everything was just perfect. He remembered how Akito was reluctant to go back in Ren’s side and how Tohru was anxious about her, yet at the end, he succeeded to convince both of them. Still, he couldn’t forget how heartbroken he was after seeing Akito’s expression when he had sent her off. But after today it will be over and all of it will probably change. He won’t care anymore by tomorrow; he will already be far away with Akito. The Sohma family will no more be his business.

“Still, don’t you think you wasted too much money with all those tickets trick?” she asked, playing with an egg. Shigure hummed in his coffee, Akito made fun of him earlier because he was mimicking too much westerner manners and she couldn’t take him seriously. “Ren will probably search and call any transport company to see if they sold a ticket at your name. By the way, I also bought bus ticket and boat ticket but also a train ticket for Akita.” He explained winking at her, very proud. Akito rose an eyebrow and groaned about wasted money.

She looked at Shigure's watch and then her ticket. The train’s departure was too late in her taste. They have been unlucky -that's the reason that started to make her feel anxious, when they arrived at the station, the train they had booked had have been cancelled and they had to buy news tickets for a later departure. She was stressed, what if Ren was already aware that she was missing and that they started to search for her. Shigure put his hand on hers, comforting. “It will be okay, don’t worry.”

Still, she was.

* * *

“Akito asked you to give all those letters?!” Yelled Kyo in a hushed voice when Tohru showed him the ten letters left that Akito had written. “Honda-san, do you need help for this?” offered Yuki, pointing Haru and Isuzu destinated letters.

Tohru wondered, she was the one Akito ordered to do so, but she also asked for Tohru to give them as soon a possible, she made a quick decision. “Yes! Please Kyo-kun! Yuki-kun!” she said, handing the precious papers. Yuki choose Haru, Isuzu and Momiji letters. “Haru and Rin are always together, and Momiji is never too far.” He explained.

Kyo wanting to do as much as Yuki took four envelopes, showing he was ready to more than the rat. “I mean, Ritsu is not here, but I’m sure that Kagura will give his as soon as possible…As for the kids…hm…”

“Not pretty wise of you, you scare Kisa out.” Said Yuki with sarcasm as he stood up to walk out of Tohru’s room. Kyo was boiling in rage but Tohru gently put her gentle hands on his fisted hand. “Kyo-kun…Thank you so much…”

“That’s…It’s normal” he said, smiling gently at her. “From what you told me, she was living a hell and I…I somehow relate to her I guess…” he scratched his head. “Still, I can’t believe she and Shigure are an item, he is…It’s Shigure!” he screamed, as if it explained everything and Tohru laughed as if it was a joke. She loved Kyo reaction, she loved him simply. “But Kyo-kun, you should have saw them, they are so sweet together!” she blushed when she remembered that she was somehow envious, if only she could hug Kyo…

“Erk, I don’t think sweet is the word I would use to define that bastard, I don’t know what she sees in him.” He made a face and then stood up. He showed his hand to help Tohru to stand up, pink on the cheeks. “What about you?”

“I will see Hatori-san and then will go outside and give the letters to Kureno-san and Ayame-san.”

“I think Hatori is outside today too, you know, still helping in that clinic, you should go out directly, I’ll go with you!” and shiny like a knight, he was holding the door, Tohru laughed in delight “But, Kyo-kun has to see Kagura-san, Kisa-chan and Hiro-kun.” Kyo blushed in embarrassment, he had forgot about it. “…Roger.”

“I’ll see you later Kyo-kun!” she said while Kyo suddenly realized in a ‘glup’ that he will have to face Kagura. Tohru on her owns ran out of the Sohma estate and rushing toward Kureno’s house. She wasn’t sure where it was. Shigure had told her it was near of the forest, but where? She ran kilometers before she finally noticed a forest from far, she passed in front of a supermarket and then entered in the woodwind. She noticed a path and decided to follow it, probably it will bring her to Kureno’s house, won’t it?

She passed aside four jizou and walked on a little bridge before ending up in front of stairs. Hoping it was the good way, she dashed on the stairs and found a house that was way too big for one person only. She knocked at the door, hoping to see Kureno face. She anxiously tapped her feet on the ground when she heard nothing coming from the house ten seconds after knocking. She tried to redo it again and again multiple time before downing her hand. Maybe it was not his house and she will need to continue to search.

Tohru really wanted to give Kureno’s letter in priority. During the time she was serving Akito, the woman had talked a lot about Kureno -and strangely, a little few about Shigure, if she were to compare. They were really close, just as close as she and Hana and Uochan could be. And how funny it has been to talk about Kureno and Uochan. She hoped after they graduated high school, Uochan will go at Kureno’s side.

Tohru shook her head, she was losing herself in her thoughts. She had to find Kureno and quick. Turning her heels, she took the stairs and as she walked down, she recognized the man’s hair climbing the stairs with a shopping bag in his hand. “Kureno-san!!” she yelled, surprising the man.

“Honda-san?” he looked the girl rushing to meet him. “What are you doing here?” he smiled gently even though his confusion. Tohru tried to talk but it was messed up by her high pants and Kureno had to tell her to take her time to catch her breath. “I…Akito-san is…” she tried to say before handing him with her two hands the precious package. His envelope was different in comparison to the others, there were more than the letter.

Kureno let his shopping bag fell on the ground and he took the letter, wondering if something bad happened. “Akito-san has left the mansion with Shigure-san…” she added, now able to talk normally. Kureno hasn’t wasted a second and broke the seal of the envelope.

* * *

The more they approached the station the more she felt the anxiety rising. She wondered if it was only she or if Shigure too was feeling uneasy as well. After all, it wasn’t the first time Shigure had hide his thoughts, when he wanted, he could be a closed book. Shigure had put her plush in his suitcase when they had stopped to eat earlier. Her bag felt lighters in comparison to his. It made her sorrowful, she saw how much Shigure owned whereas all her could belongings easily in a bag. Just the content of her treasure box, a few books and clothes.

Shigure took her hand and leaded her into the building. Akito saw the crowd rushing everywhere and she came closer to him. She was really scared, she felt like Ren could appear at every moment out of the faceless crowd and bring her back to that cold and lonely room. “This is crazy” she whispered loud enough so only him could hear. Shigure tightened his hold on her hand. “What, you prefer coming back there?” he asked, not turning back. He did not need to. He already knew what kind of face Akito was doing. He knew she was having a typical reaction. They were so close to their goal and she was fearing everything would fail, but Shigure won’t let his emotions take the better of him. He had to stay focused.

“They’re going to search for me…What if they find us?” Akito grasped his arm with her other hand, as if he could disappear if she stopped touching him. If it was a normal day, maybe he would have teased her, but right now, the situation was too tight, too stressful and Akito could break if he dared to play with her. “They won’t, trust me.” He said, looking right in front of him with determined eyes. “Believe me, they won’t find us…” because if they did, all would be over.

Akito bit in lips in worry._ ‘I hope too…’_

* * *

Kisa just finished to read Akito’s letter and she was sad, full of regrets. The girl had just saw her the time of a little afternoon, the time to eat a fondue…Nothing more. She wished she would have talked more to her god. It was strange, being attached that much with somebody she barely knows. When she had read the farewell letter that Akito had written just for her, the girl felt something mourn inside her. All she had from Akito was a goodbye letter, it was sad, it was melancholic. Kisa wished she would have done more for Akito.

She wiped a tear and looked at the envelope Akito had made for Hiro, she had to give him quick too. Kisa was so proud of herself, she succeeded to talk with Kyo, he was a nice guy after all. Tohru liked him.

Feeling herself ready to go see her friend, she scampered along the path giving at Hiro’s house. She stopped brutally by hearing a scream, her senses in alert. “What do you mean they didn’t find her?! Did they really search in the plane?! And what about the bus?!”

“The-they said they stopped already more than twenty bus…they can’t do more than that already…” explained another woman with a quiet voice. Then, in the corner of Kisa’s eyes, Ren appeared like fury, her long hairs waving eerily, giving her an aura coming from hell. Like a Shikome send by an angry Izanami no mikoto when her husband left her to rot in the Yomi land. The deathly mother of the sun goddess.

Het breath hitched and caught itself in her throat when Ren suddenly snapped her head in her direction. Scary. It reminded Kisa the ghosts in the movies, she wanted to run away but her legs wouldn’t move and before she could react, the woman took her by the hair and pulled her high. Kisa screamed and she tried struggle through her cries. “You fucking monster tell me where is Akito! Tell me where is this little bitch!”

Kisa wanted to move her head but Ren was holding her tight and roughly “I don’t know” she tried to say, provoking Ren to shook her head, fisting hard the pull of her hair and it hurt, her shouts were hurting Kisa’s ears. “Use your damned bond and tell me where is Akito!!” Kisa knew she shouldn’t talk, it was something she mastered with all the bullies at school, but thank to Tohru and her mother’s love, she learnt to face the hardness. “I don’t know…” she articulated through her gritted teeth and closed eyes, holding back tears. The woman made an animalistic glutaral noise and pulled even harder.

“Please stop! It hurts!!” Sobbed and screamed the girl, trying to break free from Ren fistful grasp on her hair. “Tell me where she is!” but she wouldn’t listen and just continued to ask desperately.

“What are you doing to my daughter!!” Kisa recognized her mother yell and in a second, her mother pushed the woman away from Kisa. Ren bumped her back against the wall in a loud sound.

Her mother directly hugged her daughter, caressing lovingly and comforting her, kissing the top of her messed up hair. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?” she asked a lot of question that made the little Kisa dizzy. Her mother framed her face carefully, watching if she got injured by the crazy woman. Once she made sure her child was safe, she pulled Kisa right against her heart, shielding her if Ren was ready to thrown herself on her precious girl once again. “What is wrong with you?! Why did you attack my daughter?! She is just a child!!”

“That…” Ren was shivering in anger, her eyes feral and Kisa felt the need to get closer to her mother, scared. “You dumb head must know where is Akito! They’re bonded! She refuses to tell me!! It’s her fault!!” Kisa was so surprised to see her usually exhausted and calm mama being so angry. Kisa never understood why she was the cursed of the tiger, but by seeing own her mother's reaction, she thought it was maybe because of her. She was so happy and safe in her mother warm embrace. She let herself cry her heart content.

“You’re crazy! Why would my daughter know about it! She is innocent! Even if she knew why were you beating her?! She is a child!!” Screamed Kisa’s mother, roaring as a lioness defending her young. None of them noticed the people starting to gather around them, whispering about what was happening.

Slowly even the people who were in Ren’s side came across the scene and gasped outrageously by the woman behavior_. ‘Even if she is cursed, it’s still a kid…’ ‘What about Akito-san?’ ‘I heard he disappeared…’ _

The elites of the family walked in the circle, the doyen looking at her with a contemptuous look.

Ren realized that she had dug her own grave.

* * *

They zigzagged hand in the hand in the crowd, trying to avoid touching the people. Akito was not used to density. It made her suffocate. Noticing her uneasiness, Shigure pulled her toward an isolated pillar. “You’re okay?” he asked, touching her red cheeks with his both hands. She nodded, catching her breath. He kissed the top of her head. “In a few hours it will be over.” They will be far, far away. It will be like they never existed. She made a gesture of the head as she grasped his hand.

Shigure pulled her closer and hugged her. The fact that they almost reached their goals made him shiver, thrilled. And he knew that even if she was feeling anxious of doing it, she was feeling the same. They had too few to lose for too much to win. Neither of them will regret what they were doing right now. All the sacrifice he was doing were worth it.

He hugged her closer one last time before stepping back, hands on her shoulders. “We should go now…” Akito looked at him and smiled, unsure. He took her hand and walked, trying to find the way. They tried to walk between people. Shigure took great attention to not bump into somebody, the risk to end up between woman’s arms were too high and it would make everything fail. Also, if he hadn’t been here, Akito knew without a doubt that she would have been lost. A man in uniform stopped them and she felt a cold sweat forming in her back. She tightened her grip on his hand, in case that man tried to separate them. “Your tickets please” he said.

Akito threw an uneasy glance at Shigure. What if the man notice that she wasn’t Tohru? What if he was working under Ren orders? What if he came specially for her to separate her and Shigure? She saw him let her hand go with anguish. Shigure rummaged the pocket in the interior of his vest and handed back the two tickets. The man quickly read and gave them back. “Have a good trip, mister Sohma, Miss Honda.” The man bowed his head then passed across to continue to control people, leaving them. She felt like she could breathe again and he kissed her knuckles. “Let’s go, okay?”

She nodded and followed his lead, the heart still beating fast in her chest. Really, he did not notice she wasn’t Tohru Honda? It looked so easy and it made Akito even more anxious. “It’s okay Akito…It’s okay…” he whispered gently. She nodded, gulping.

They saw their train from far and they both felt like they were finally free. It was just there, once they will take this train and go far, far away, it will be all over. Just in a few meters, just here, just…

“Akito!!”

They both went still, the eyes wide. Shigure was the first to react and to look behind, where the voice had called her. He saw Kureno pushing the crowd, trying to get through and rejoin Akito. Surely, he already saw her from far and he was rushing, his heart beating in his ears. “Akito! Wait!!” he screamed again and the crowd was letting him passing, creating space just for him.

Akito looked at him, the person she considered like her brother, one of the few she trusted. Shigure on the contrary, passed him hands on the little of her back and brought her unto his chest, frowning, seeing the man like a threat for him and Akito, for the future and the happy ending he dreamed of.

Kureno let himself slow down when he saw the girl in Shigure’s arms. He was out of breath; he had driven and then ran in the station as soon as he had read the letter Akito had written for him. She told him everything and that’s how he knew where she was. Akito gently shoved Shigure off and looked at Kureno with a hint of affection. He was her confidant, her friend, and she was glad to see him one last time before leaving. Maybe deep down, she hoped for it to happen so that’s why she had told him the detail of their elopement.

Kureno smiled gently when he saw what she was wearing, the white dress he had bought her year ago. The same he offered her to celebrate her first time outside the mansion. She was beautiful in it, Kureno hasn’t saw her in months, maybe she grew a thinner, however her hairs were a little longer. Kureno wanted to take her in his arms and cradle her because of how fragile she looked, feminine. Instead he stretched his hand in her direction and opened his palm, showing the Sohma’s family head stamp. “Akito…I can’t…”

Akito stared at the stamp a few seconds before moving her eyes toward his face. “Akito…I really can't…”

“You’re best I know to take care of them”

“Akito, it’s not only about them! What about the money, the family, the inner working…”

“You studied it all with me, you can’t be worse than I would be” she tilted her head and cupped his hand with hers, closing his palm and bringing it against his chest. Kureno felt like crying. “I…I’m alright to do it if you promise me that one day you will be back to take back your place!” he said desperately. He wanted to see her again, he needed promise, he needed to be sure.

Her eyes widened and she avoided his eyes and he grabbed her hands that were still around his wrist. “Akito, I agree to be regent if only you promise me that one day you will be back.”

“As long as she is here it’s…” she didn’t finish her sentence but Kureno understood “One day, she won’t be here anymore, that day, promise me that you will be back.” Akito nodded because she didn’t trust her voice to lie blatantly to her best friend. They hugged each other and Akito felt nostalgia hitting in her heart and warming her eyes.

The station made an announcement, asking to the last passengers to get into the train and Akito had to let go and rejoin Shigure’s embrace. She smiled to him one last time before turning her heels, her dress floating behind her and Kureno couldn’t help but feeling joy in this abundant sadness, at the end, she found herself.

She put herself against Shigure, dragging a suitcase behind her and he wrapped his arm around her waist, looking one last time at Kureno before they both entered in the train. Five minutes after, the train left the station and Kureno was now the official new Sohma head.

* * *

Momiji traced the words written on his letter with his fingers tip, words soothing him. By reading that letter, he wished he had talked more with Akito and he knew Akito too wished she would have talked more with him. They both know the feeling of being abandoned by their own mothers. They were more similar than he thought. Yuki told him that she had left the estate, probably forever. And even if a deep part of him was sad of her depart, he was also glad that she finally got the freedom she had been seeking for years. He was also glad that Akito had clear Tohru’s name, explaining it was thanks to her that she is now able to live as she wants. “I wish I could had said her goodbye” he said in a regretful smile. Haru patted his head, nodding and Yuki mimicked Momiji’s expression. Regret.

Hatsuharu turned his head toward his girlfriend, she had been silent since she had read her letter. They were all in her room when Yuki has found them and posted Akito’s letters. Yuki looked at the window, she must be far away now, maybe they even arrived to their destination. He really wished he had punched Shigure face before that bastard left the estate, Akito in his suitcase.

“You think she will be happy?” asked Momiji, wrapping his arms around his legs. “Well, if Shigure annoy her, he..I mean she, will throw him away.” Said Yuki, crossing his arms. It was still somehow hard to him to get the fact that Akito was a woman. Maybe the it was easier for the others because they weren’t as close as Yuki was with Akito. It will take time to get used, but Yuki know that Akito was a woman and will never reject her for it.

“Still, I didn’t expect Shi-chan and Akito to be an item, like, did it happen that night when we all meet? Isn't that a bit quick?”

“Nah, they were already together when Akito ran away the first time.” Interrupted Yuki and Haru hummed in wonder “Damn, now I’m really curious, it’s like those movie…Shigure-nii is impressive.” He said in a casual tone and Yuki sighed through his nose. “I wouldn’t say impressive” he muttered. “I don’t know much, maybe it’s wiser to ask about it to Honda-san, she is the one who helped Akito to escape.”

“By the way, where she is now?” Asked Momiji who wanted to see her. “She is outside, giving Kureno and Ayame letters.” He explained “She also need to give Hatori letter but we can’t find him.”

“Hatori is always busy lately, I’m worried for his health.” Noted Haru before throwing his head against the mattress. “Rin what do you think about? You’ve been silent for a moment now.”

Rin blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “I don’t care.” She just said before looking back to the written paper. Haru straightened himself and rested his chin on her shoulder, trying to read her letter. Rin pouted her mouth and pulled him off. “What did she tell you??” teased Momiji, jumped next to her on the bed, she scolded him, telling to watch for the bed. “Nothing important!” she then said before downing her head “She… She let me have an apartment outside of the estate and also gave me enough money to go and complete my years in university art…” she said a quiet and emotionful voice. Haru smiled lovingly and took her in his arms where she cried. Her hell in the mansion was now over, she too, will be able to start a new life.

Akito had made bank checks for all zodiacs that were minors, thank to this, they could be independent from the family and have their own liberty too. Yuki decided that with this money, he too, will go in college too.

* * *

Night had already fallen when Hatori’s phone rang. He crashed his cig and answered. “You have no shame, calling after all that happened today.”

“Haha, come on Haa-san, don’t be angry.”

“I can’t believe you made and done it.” Hatori heard Shigure chuckle from the other side of the handset. He looked at Osaka night’s light from the balcony of the hotel. In the room, Akito was sleeping tight, naked under white blanket. Beautiful, his. He couldn’t help a smile. “Well, you knew it was going to happen and, it’s what she wanted.”

“Still Shigure it’s…” Hatori palmed his face “What are you going to do?” he was so quiet, shouting now was useless and he was glad that Shigure called him, maybe it wasn’t the end as they all thought. “Well…Living our life, I guess? What do you expect us to do really?” he laughed again and Hatori sighed. “I don’t know…Is that what she wants…Is that what you really want?”

Shigure stayed silent a few seconds. “Yes…It’s what we both want. Akito deserve to be free.” Hatori scoffed, wondering if by staying by Shigure’s side she really became free “And she is what I always wanted. We regret nothing Haa-san.” There was genuine warmness in his voice that Hatori could hear even through the phone.

“So…Everything had gone the way you wanted? I didn’t expect that you would let Kureno become the new Sohma leader.” The dog laughed loudly “Aah! Actually, I learnt this only today! It was Akito’s decision, I have nothing to do with it. By the way, did you receive your letter? You’re so lucky, she hadn’t written one for me.”

“It’s because she is going to stay with you until the end of her life you dumbass” he groaned, he knew that bastard was just showing off. He had heard the hint of glee in his voice. “Aaah, staying together until we die, I like it, please, say it again~”

“Fuck you” Hatori talk back, he really wanted to hang up, but his guts were telling him it wasn’t the thing to do. “Still, the way he became chief was spectacular. Actually, there were a reunion, sound like Ren beaten Kisa and the elders witnessed it, they were all ready to call search for Akito when the news dropped.” Hatori rested his back against the wall, moving his phone to his other ear. “Then she had to admit that Akito diverted money”

“It was hers” defended Shigure. He knew, he was the one who have been done the transfer in Akito’s place. “She did nothing illegal and the family won’t suffer the loss. But I agree that she had a ton of money on her account, being rich sure help.”

“I think it was Akira legacy, anyway, Kureno walked in the gathering room and showed Akito’s letter with the stamp. They all accepted him as the new chief until Akito is back. I don’t know what will happen of Ren now… I’m a bit worried about Kisa and Hiro, they are the youngers. The others will graduate school soon and they will probably go on with their owns path. But I’m sure that Kureno will be able to protect them all.” Shigure hummed in agreement, scratching his chest.

“By the way, where are you now? Can I get Akito?”

“Sorry, she is sleeping right now, today have been pretty tiring.” He said; however he didn’t answer to his first question. Hatori found it fair, Akito was weak and wasn't used to move around this much. However, he couldn't help but thinking Shigure was hiding something and he didn’t like it. “Will you at least give me your address, so I could visit you with Ayame.”

“…Sorry Haa-san, that won’t be possible.” He said quietly, sorrow showing in his voice and Hatori frowned. _Why not?_ “Actually…After this call, I will throw my phone, I just wanted…You know, say goodbye.”

“You’re kidding…Shigure, you’re joking, right?” only silence answered him “Why? Ren is not leading the family anymore, it’s safe, it’s…”

“We ran away to start a new life Haa-san” Hatori was stunned and angry, after this call, he was going to lose a friend and the spirit in him a god. “You’re so egoist, I can’t believe it! And what about Ayame!”

“I called Ayame just before…He understood.” He wanted to shout at him, to strangle him to make him understand him, but if there was something he had learnt with Shigure, was that he can’t never change his mind. Hatori was powerless. “bastard”

“Here, here, Haa-san, we surely don’t want to part that way, aren’t we?” Hatori fisted his hand “You’re the one leaving, not me.”

“Haa-san… Akito always wished to be free, now that she is, she will do what she wants of her life, do you want to remove her that?” Shigure’s tone was full of accusation and Hatori hated how he used Akito well-being in this purpose. So instead, he stood silent. “Haa-san?” called Shigure, thinking he had hung up.

“Shigure, I’m losing one of my best friends and the person I consider like my little sister forever, how do you expect me to take the new?” the fact that it was through phone was even more bitter. “I know Haa-san, but I’ve made my choice…Please, don’t hate me.”

“I don’t I’m just…” _so angry…_ “Haa-san…”

“I won’t make you change your mind huh.” Hatori could see his friend smile regretfully. “…I will miss you a lot Haa-san, really.” But Akito had always been his first priority in life, it wasn’t the first time Hatori was facing this situation. but...it hurt so much, be threw away, a second time. “Goodbye Shigure, take care of her and be happy.”

“Thank you Haa-san, you too with Mayu’, you deserve it.” Hatori rolled his eyes. “You’re annoying, I’m already feeling bad for Akito.” Shigure burst out a laugh “So mean Haa-san!!” and then they talked a little more before ending the call.

Shigure watched his phone a moment before turning it off with empty eyes. He walked back in the room and removed his yukata before slipping in the bed, spooning Akito. She made a sleepy noise and he hushed her. “Shh, it’s me” Akito smiled and moved her body so she could rest her head on his chest. “I’m here…” he said, kissing the top of her head “I’ll be always here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, the story is not over, there is an epilogue coming.  
I hope you all are not heartbroken by Shigure&Akito's choice. (and sorry...Nobody slapped nor killed Ren, you may not believing me after reading all i wrote in this fanfic, but i don't like violence lmao)  
Also, i don't know if you noticed, but we see in this chapter scenes that were in the prologue huhu (so, because of that, i think a lot of you all knew Akito and Shigure were going to elope?)


	40. Epilogue

They arrived at Kasamura by the bus, Akito had never saw so much green and she had been sticking her nose to the window during the entire trip from Inuyama to here. The prior days, they visited Osaka before taking another train to Inuyama. They also used Tohru’s name this time too for the billet and it made Akito anxious again. Thank god, nobody noticed the trickery. They stayed two days there, wanting to visit the city before heading to their new house.

Even though they visited Osaka white castle, Akito had ran to visit Inuyama’s. “The dungeon is way smaller.” She noted with deception and Shigure laughed. “Well, this one is older. Plus, Osaka used to be the shogun city, of course Hideyoshi’s castle is fancier.” He laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. They walked around the castle as if they were having their honeymoon. There weren’t a lot of people, so they didn’t earn any glares full of judgement.

The next day, Shigure took her to see the Kiso river. Even if they didn’t swim in, it reminded them the day they watched together boats go overseas. It reminded to Akito that she was free. “After that, let’s go to Momotarou shrine!”

Shigure wondered where she got that new stamina, remembering how tired she was the day they arrived to Osaka. She was hopping up and down with impatience, also running and pointing everything. She had grown used to the city where she met him, but Inuyama was new and it was her new home, she wanted to know everything about it. As a tease, Shigure walked slowly on purpose to have her pulling him by the hand with her little strenght. It was so domestic and Shigure was in heaven. They walked under the Momotarou pink-peach color gate. Akito looked at the colored statues with great interest, tilting her head like a curious pup. This was a shrine made more for children than adults and it showed. They looked at the kids running around and the parents watching them. In this situation, Shigure couldn’t help but to tease her again.

“You know, this shrine is for parents wishing to ask good health for their children” Akito nodded, not understanding what he was trying to imply. Shigure winked “You think people looking at us think you’re bearing our baby?” He smirked at her high blushing “What are you saying…” she said, embarrassed before caressing her belly. They almost never talked about having a kid together. Sure, they both had thoughts about it, but saying it was…It was too soon and none of them were ready for this yet.

Now, it was time for themselves, only for them. They didn’t want to share it with a third person. It was too stressful. They just wanted taking their time to breath and to enjoy. They were not ready.

That night for diner, Shigure took her in an Italian restaurant and she swore it was the best food she ever ate. “So good! Why you never took me here before?” she said after swallowing her pasta. He allowed himself to stole some of her spaghetti. In his head, the music from the Disney movie the lady and the tramp played and they cheered with their glasses of wine. She made the funniest expression when she sipped for the first time her Bordeaux.

“It tastes strange.” She muttered, her hand on her mouth and he sneered. “It’s good with the Bolognese though” she admitted and she took another glass. Before Shigure realized what was happening, she had almost drunk the bottle by herself and she was a laughing mess. Shigure was looking with amazement and curiosity the experience happening in from of him. They walked back to the hotel, her resting her body against his and whispering in his ear lewdly while she slid her hand in his shirt, caressing his chest and arousing him. However, when they had both fallen on the bed, she fell asleep as soon as she closed her eyes, leaving Shigure with blue balls. He had to sooth himself in the shower.

The next day, just after eating their breakfast, they took the first bus that was taking them to their new home. Kasamura was just a municipality nestled against the mountain. Because of the small the population in the village, the bus was passing only two time the morning and the afternoon. At least, nobody will find them here. They jumped off the bus, dragging Shigure’s suitcases and Akito’s bags. They had bought clothes for her when they were at Osaka. It was charming but Shigure was now afraid that Akito would catch easily a cold during winter

He had picked the key of the house when he was still living in the estate. He had already made a spare key for Akito and gave hers when they arrived at Osaka. They opened the entry door and removed their shoes and then discovered their new home. They found in the living room boxes that Shigure had sent here before leaving the estate. In, there were his computer, books, lamps, supplies and clothes. Akito quickly walked away in quest for the blessed bedroom and what wasn’t her surprise when instead of finding space on the floor for a futon like she always slept with, she had found a queen size bed.

She had sleep in hotels' beds the last days and she have been charmed. After all, the only time she used a bed before was to make love with Shigure in love hotel. Without any warning, she grabbed her man who was opening a box by the collar and kissed him. It took him by surprise and he had moaned in her mouth. At the end, they both ended naked and drenched in sweat and other fluids on the bed, Akito framing his face, kissing him endlessly and giggling. She was completely euphoric; it was as if she was still drunk.

“Hm, you think I can ask for a delivery here?” he asked against her mouth before straightening out of the bed, Akito stretched her arms and arched her back, reminding him of a cat. “Hm, anyway the kitchen is empty.” She said “We will need to go out tomorrow to get foods” he told to himself and looked at Akito who was already walking out. “By the way, where is the bathroom?” she asked in the hallway with nothing but Shigure's shirt on her shoulders. With a teasing smile and a light in the eyes, she looked at him over her shoulder, inviting him for another round in the shower.

* * *

Living together was different from meeting each other during a few hours per week yet, they quickly and easily find one’s feet in this new life. They agreed on rules, for example, Shigure was forbidden to smoke in other room than his office and Akito was the one in charge for the money, showing more experience than him. After all, right now, she was the one with the biggest account. Just with her money, they could stay here without working for years, but she was against that. “But it’s only for now” she explained “I think the wiser is to keep the biggest amount of this money in case accident happens or if there are big expenses to do.”

She was making drawing on white paper to explain her economic plan and Shigure was barely listening her, his attention was all on her serious face. She had one of her longest hair bangs behind her ear and she was so contentious. She had been formed to be the chief of an entire clan and now, all she had to manage was a family of two, he and she. Akito was in her element and Shigure was charmed.

However, all wasn’t pink and like in a dream. First of all, their sleeping schedule was different. Shigure was working better at night to Akito’s detriment and because she was a morning person, she always woke him up with her. “Shigure, let’s eat together” she shook him awake by the shoulder and he pulled her down in the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around her body to prevent her to move so he could get a few minutes of sleep until she tapped on his shoulder endlessly until he let her go. After a month of living together, it became their morning routine. 

“You stay here all the time here, so why don’t you work during the day?!” complained Akito, chewing the rice they ordered the day before for breakfast. “Akito darling, you should know that writer inspiration come whenever it wants and that I can’t go against it.” He said in a teasing voice, feeling satisfied when she rolled her eyes.

If she was honest, Akito expected Shigure to be a kind of person going out a lot, however he spent most of his time in his office when he wasn’t with her. In the latter case, she was bored and she wanted him to stay with her, but she knew he needed to write to get income. But she was like a cat and dying for attention. She often put her cheek on his shoulder when he was writing, hoping that it would be enough to get noticed, but Shigure was steadfast when he was working and after two weeks of doing this daily, she gave up.

“You should try to go out Akito, it’s bad for you to stay inside.” He told after their second month, picking pork with his chopsticks, another delivery food. Akito was starting to grow tired of that kind of food. What a pain that none of them knew how to cook. All she could do was washing the rice and cook it. The most basic dish and if Shigure was glad only with that, she was picky and unsatisfied with that.

She had decided to go out this morning, she was wearing new clothes that they had bought together when they went to the city for shopping. Akito said to herself that if Shigure wasn’t able to keep her mind busy, she was going to do it by herself. Shigure had hugged her for one complete minute before letting her go. “Call a taxi to go home if you miss the last bus okay?” he called and Akito rolled her eyes “Shigure, if I wanted to live with somebody who act like my father, I would have eloped with Hatori.” He had gasped in a fake horror, annoying her in purpose.

However, as if the world was mocking her, she just saw her bus leaving under her nose and even if she tried to run after it, it didn’t stop. It has been months since she has been that enraged. Boiling, she walked back home when she heard somebody calling her. “Excuse me!!” Said the woman, she looked like she was younger than Shigure but older than her and she was out of breath, did she run? “Are you Sohma-san?”

Akito paled, oh no, somebody had found her and they were going to bring her back to the estate. “I’m your neighbor, we haven’t been presented yet!” she said with a sunshine smile and a regional accent. “Nice to meet you!” she said before bowing. Akito completely lost bowed her head as well, mimicking the person in front of her “Nice to meet you…” she repeated in a small voice, still under emotion.

“It’s so rare when people come living here so when we heard that people moving in, all the village knew! You should come and meet them all, Sohma-san!” she said that in a kind voice but she couldn’t help but take it as a reproach. However, that was true that since she and Shigure moved in, the only moment they go out was when getting foods. It was basic politeness to introduce at least to the neighborhood, they had been wrong. But in Akito’s defense, she had never done it before, hell, she barely has been out in the world for almost twenty years of her life.

“Hum…yeah, we needed to get acclimated the place before…” she just said. “Oh! Right! Sorry if I’ve been rude, it wasn’t my attention!” she laughed silly “So, you come from the city? Are you alone?” she asked without end and it made Akito uncomfortable. She really wasn’t used to attention. Yet, it was a good occasion to know new horizon. She ran away with Shigure to start a new life, here was the chance.

“Yes…I came with my…” she blushed, was saying boyfriend a bit childish? And it wasn’t well saw to live with a man if you were not married with… Akito blushed harder in spite of herself, frowning. The woman laughed “Haha! I see! I’m the same!” she showed her ring around her finger. “I came here with my husband three years ago! We had enough of the city and this village is where his family live! They’re farmer!” she was so proud, talking about her family and Akito feel herself becoming sour at the mention of it. She had a thought about the people still living in the estate.

She wished she could talk as much as this woman about her cousins, what they loved in life, what were they purpose in their life, what kind of people they were, what they do during their free time, their hobbies, but she knew nothing,_ nothing_. She just talked to them the time of one night, it wasn’t enough. She had wasted too much time in that cave.

“You know, at first” continued the woman, not noticing that Akito’s mind was wandering somewhere else “I was really scared that I had to help them! I just can’t imagine myself working in the field, I am a woman of the city, I’ve lived all my life at Nagoya!” She laughed warmly, making a gesture of the hand, it reminded of Akito Mine’s laugh. “But thank god, they said that I didn’t have to, so instead I’m the one in charge of meals! They are so many, I feel like I am a lunch lady!”

Akito just hummed, not knowing that to reply and neither wanting to continue this one-sided talk. She didn’t care about this woman. “And you Sohma-san, I guess cooking isn’t hard for you, if you’re making for only two people” Akito made a face and closed her eyes so the woman won’t see how annoyed she was. “I don’t know how to cook actually, we rely on delivery and already made foods.” She answered casually before lifting one eyebrow by seeing the woman’s shocked face. Her mouth was agape and Akito was sure that her eyes were ready to pluck out of orbit at any moment by seeing how wide they were.

“No way, Sohma-san! You can’t rely forever on pre-made food! You have to learn!” she dared to scold Akito. It was during those moment they wished the entire world know she was a reincarnation of a god, maybe they would leave her alone. Ah, she just wanted to go home, but the idea of doing nothing until Shigure walked out of his office to be with her made her mentally groan, it was boring. She hated that she was dependent of somebody. Before it was Kureno, and now it’s Shigure.

However, the woman decided against her leave “Sohma-san, you really must learn how to cook! Are you free right now? I can teach you!!” she exclaimed, her eyes shining by the idea. Akito pondered, unsure. “I…” She turned her eyes toward the path giving to her house, thinking about her lover and the forever same delivery food, and then, she looked back at the woman. If she gave a try to stay with her and learning how to prepare food, it will bring her to more independence. Also, the idea of eating what and when wanted seduced her. Also, she felt like she could be useful, she could make a change in the new life she and Shigure have now. Making her choice, she nodded slowly “Okay.”

“Ah! Awesome!! I’m so glad Sohma-san! You know, almost everybody in the village are old people and I don’t have many women of my age to talk with! Please, let’s be friend!”

* * *

It was morning and Shigure rejoined Akito in the kitchen after he succeeded to emerge from bed. Thing he learnt after he had moved in with her was to say goodbye to lazy morning and staying in bed until late. But at least, he could sleep his nosedived between her two breasts when it wasn’t plunged in her hair or neck. Often her nightdress was getting between him and his body pillow. Often during the night he let his hands slid in her clothes leaving her with few the morning. She never complained, he supposed it was because the weather was getting warmer and with their two bodies in the bed, she didn’t feel cold at all.

The best with that was that they weren’t chased by the time, if they wanted, they could stay in the bed all the day, if Akito allowed him. Nothing will bother them, not the love hotel time slot that they had to respect, not the servants of the mansion that he had to avoid. It was just the two of them in their own world.

To Shigure’s surprise, even with this routine, he was feeling satisfied, it was exactly what he has been wishing for, just she and he, alone in their own little world. Or, it was how he thought, because Akito quickly showed how independent she could be. The first time he noticed it was when he saw her in the kitchen frying eggs and preparing vegetables. “Is Akito-san cooking?” he had put his chin on her shoulder, looking what she was doing. She had grunted and tried to pull him off. “Annoying, make yourself useful and go boil water for tea.” she had blushed, he had sneered before kissing her cheek.

And with the time, she started to cook harder dishes. Sure, there were fails and they had to call for delivery, each time she was pouting but even she couldn’t bring herself to eat such burnt foods. However, when she succeeded to do what she wanted and that it tasted good, Shigure was complimenting her without end, saying how lucky he was to have such a good little wife. “We’re not married” she defended, pink on the cheeks, and he served himself again with a meaningful smile “Not yet.”

But the fondest memories he had of her adventure in kitchen-land was when she was putting all her strength in. He would cherish her plates the most when he was seeing how hard she worked on it. The little cuts on her fingers, all wrapped by band-aids, the burnt from the water or oil. He remembered once rushing out of his office when he heard her scream in pain. She had opened the skin of her finger as she was peeling a potato. She had tears in the corner of her pretty eyes and the finger in her mouth. “Let me see…”

He had examined her finger before putting it under cold water. “Want me to help you?” he had asked gently and she had nodded, looking at him like a sad kitten with her wet eyes. They had spent the next hour peeling potatoes and carrots, Akito making complaining about the fact that he was able to cook but too lazy to do it. “It’s because I prefer eating dish made with love by my cute future wife~”

“What a lazy-ass” she had spat to hide her joy and he snorted. Shigure could see how she was scanning the way he was moving the knife around to peel off the skin of the carrot and tried to mimic it uselessly. “How do you do it?” she finally asked, showing frustration through sigh of the nose. He chuckled “We used to have cooking class at school, though I’m not as good as Haa-san. I wasn’t patient enough and I was always stopping the fire before it was cooked enough.” He told, his voice showing a fond nostalgia.

Something in him ached when he thought about the fact that it was an resolved era and that he will never see again Hatori scolding him and Ayame when they were flirting blatantly, or the calm afternoon where the three of them would talk about anything. About redoing the world and the society, talking about curse, school, family, girls, passion and cigarettes. But it was meaningless to think about the old time, he turned his attention back on the girl staying by his side and smiled warmly at her curious look. He regretted nothing.

But to go back on that morning. It has been several months since they moved in. Shigure had almost finished his second book under his new penname and he had noticed a car parked in front of their house. He looked at it and hoped it wasn’t a surprise visit from his new editor, he hasn’t meet him yet and he wasn’t sure if he was ready so soon in the day. Searching comfort, he wrapped his arms around his woman and rubbed his cheek against her shoulder “Mmn, Aki, there is a car in front of the house.” He whined.

“I know, it’s mine.” She answered casually, taking a sip of her miso soup, tasting it before frowning and then giving a spoonful to Shigure. “Not bad, a little too strong on bonito.” He said before shaking his head “Wait, what do you mean it’s yours?!” he asked, coming back on the main subject. “Since when?” he was making gesture of the hand, surprised and confused. “Well, I got my license last week, so I thought I could afford one. It’s useful and we are more independent.” She was frowning her eyebrows, not understanding why Shigure was making such a deal out of it.

“Wait? You have a license?!” Akito stopped the fire and sighed “Yeah, what do you think I was doing every time when I was out?” she rolled her eyes and Shigure had to palm his face, muttering things to himself that Akito couldn’t catch. “You told me you were out with the neighbor!” he finally said before shrugging, exasperated “That you’re working to manage the hall town and the residents finance”

“That’s my job, yes! But with the few people living in the neighborhood, once I’ve done everything, I have nothing left to do, and it happens quickly!!” their voice that starting to get higher and now she was on the defensive. “Why are you so angry godamnit?!”

“Because you didn’t tell me!” he answered, as exasperated as her. She opened her mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say. “I…” She looked lost and she was visibly searching for words “I didn’t think it was important.” She just said and Shigure had to fight with himself to not make a sarcastic comment. “I mean, it’s just a license and a car, since you don’t go out often, I thought you wouldn’t care!” she added quickly, as if it was a good explanation. “Akito do you hear yourself?” he said in a derisive chuckle, massaging his temples.

He took a deep breath “Of course it’s important Akito, we’re living together, the least you could do is telling me what you do during your days! And fuck! We are talking about a car!” he couldn’t believe he was explaining to her something that simple, that obvious. “I mean damn, Akito, we’re meant to share our everyday life! I don’t ask you the moon, just to talk to me about that kind of thing!” She was now crossing her arms, an angry frown on her feature. It was bad, when she was starting to act that way, she didn’t want to listen. Shigure decided it was better to stop talking before it would become a real mess.

There was a long silence, just a moment of quietness to calm themselves, to gather their thought and be able to talk about it without getting into another argument. She was the first to talk “I really didn’t think it was important plus…You’re unfair, you too, you don’t tell me what you do during your free time.”

“That’s…” he shook his head “I’m not doing much when you're not here but reading when I don’t write” he sighed. Akito had a sad frown and she brought her hand on his cheek, turning his face in her direction. “Oh, Shigure…”

“I’m okay you know” he smiled warmly, cupping her hand and leaning in the touch. “Since I was young, I’ve always be a loner…and well, it’s hard to get close with people with the curse” he often told himself with derision that he was more of a wolf than a dog. She nodded and hugged him, he burst out a laugh, teasing her. “What’s this, you’re sad for me? Haw, you’re such an adorable little girl~”

She grabbed the back of his shirt still. Starting a new life was easier for Akito who had lost nothing in comparison to him who had to say goodbye to his best friends, all the life he had built. Since she wasn’t growing annoyed of his teases, he lifted her face, his fingers under her chin and studied her face, worry in the eyes. “Hey, Akito?”

She kissed him to tell him how much she thanked him and then, she whispered multiple ‘I love you’.

* * *

It has happened in the middle in the night, Akito woke up in tears and screaming unintelligibly. “Akito, what’s wrong?!” he took her by the shoulders and she continued to sob, screaming things that Shigure couldn’t understand. He took her in his arms and cradled her. He understood a ‘hurt’ ‘no there’ ‘can’t feel’ in her blubbering and he was wondering what she was talking about. Ugly tears were drenching her messed up hair and her body was spamming through the hardness of her sobs.

Shigure had caressed her back in circle while she was hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder. He had caressed her head without saying a word and waited until she calmed herself enough to try to talk with her. At the end, she cried until falling asleep and for the first time in months, she didn't woke him up the morning. Akito didn’t move out of the bed even after he had woken up and she wasn’t answering to any of his calls. However, the moment he tried to get out of the bed, she grabbed his arm and wrapped all her body and her might around it, preventing him to move away from her. It was an odd pattern.

The fact that she wasn’t telling him anything worried him to the point he started to grow annoyed. However, he kept it for himself, not wanting to pin it all on her who was already feeling bad. He just wanted to understand why. “Akito, what’s wrong?” he asked with an irritation that he failed to control. It made her snap and she shivered. Shigure frowned again, not understanding. Yet, he slowly pulled her on his laps.

He waited for her to stop shivering and then he allowed himself to leave her in the bed and go in the kitchen and to reheat left-over, today they will eat in bed. Maybe she will scold him about that later but for the moment, he didn’t care. As he was taking salmon out of the fridge, he noticed Akito’s recipe book open in the counter of the kitchen. He took a moment to ponder before putting the fish back in it place and flipping through the pages and then stopping when he found what he was looking for.

Akito was curled up in ball under the blanket, her arms wrapping her own body in comfort like she always did when she was feeling helpless, like she was right now. She was counting and feeling the bond between her and her cousins, the god and the animals, _one, two, three, four, five_…two were missing. It hurt and she was scared. Why, why it was happening. She came here to be happy, to be free from the curse and yet she was here crying in anguish. It was wrong, wrong. It shouldn’t have happened, so why?

She felt Shigure coming back in the room and sitting in the bed. “Akito.” He found her shoulder and shook it, she reluctantly removed the blanket and looked at him with tired eyes. He was holding a tray with their breakfast on it. She looked confused, her glare coming back and forth between him and the plates. “We gonna put crumbs in the bed…” she said in a small voice that she barely recognized as her owns.

“It’s nice sometime to indulge ourselves, don’t you think?” he tilted his head and he bumped his leg against her, silently asking for more space to sit on and he put the tray on his cross-legged thighs. He gently pulled a bowl full of okayu porridge. She was even more confused. “But…I’m not sick”

“Sadness is an illness of the mind.” He answered, putting her longest bang of her hair behind her ear. The attention made her heart fluster and she removed the cover of the bowl and tasted the porridge. “It’s not cooked enough” she said and she smiled for the first time since last night. Shigure chuckled “Well, I told you I’m not patient enough to cook” he put an egg roll in his mouth and Akito continued to eat the porridge. If she was honest, the rice they made for her at the mansion was better. However, the fact that he took time to cook for her even when he hated doing it made her feel like it was the best porridge she eaten in her whole life.

They stood in silent. Shigure decided that he won’t inquire and let her tell by her owns will what happened last night and why she was suddenly feeling down. She threw a hesitant look at him before letting the spoon rest in the bowl. “It’s broken.”

“What?” Akito frowned and fisted her hands, it was hard. “Momiji…The rabbit bond…It’s gone.” Shigure’s eyes widened. The curse was really breaking. Sure, he already had the feeling before. Shigure wasn’t blind and he felt how the curse was weakening with time, but it was still a shock to see it happening in his very own eyes. He didn’t care, with or without curse he already has what he desired since he was little. But he had a thought for his family…They deserve to be happy, to be normal.

But why was Akito so sad. Why was she still caring? They left them, she shouldn’t care anymore, shouldn’t she? However, by seeing her hurt face, Shigure’s resentment disappeared. “It hurt?” she nodded, biting her lips. “Very much…” she sobbed. He put the tray and the plates away and she wrapped her arms around his neck and hide her face. It hurt, but it was bearable, it was different from the time it was Kureno’s link. But a horrible image flashed in Akito’s mind. What if Shigure leave her when his own curse will break. She planted her nails in his back.

“Ouch! Akito-chan, that hurt” he whined but Akito lift her face and looked at him right in the eyes. “You took me with you, you don’t have the right to abandon me!” Shigure smirked, pleased by this sudden honesty. He let his hands slid under her buttock and lifted her higher so their noses were stuck. “You should know by time that it’s not the curse that bind me to you Aki” he tilted his face so he could caress her cute little pink nose with his. “You know I don’t care.”

She frowned and pouted though, in her eyes there was amusement. “Damn yeah I know.” He laughed and then kissed her hard. This salty smell of tears was still lingering in the room, however now the ambiance was warm. After they laid down back on the mattress, the two of them at each side of the bed and looking at each other with smile. Akito put her hand on his cheek and whispered just in his ear with a playing tone. “Just because you made the breakfast don’t exempt you from doing the dishes.”

“Haw.”

* * *

“Oh my god, never I would have guessed that it was a pen name! Sohma-sensei, you should have told me!” said the editor, a young man with untidy hair, using a flustered face. Visibly, he didn’t expect working with the great writer Shigure Sohma. “Yeah, but I’m using a pen name to be left alone, you see...back in Tokyo, people when always behind me.” Shigure explained in a sigh and Akito rolled her eyes from the spot she was reading, what an actor. She hoped that that new editor won’t be gullible. “Oh! I understand, a great author like you must have enough and want to live in a quiet place! That’s why you moved here?” Akito winced, why life was unfair? Shigure smile grew wider.

“Ab-so-lu-te-ly! And it was really hard for me to find the inspiration in the wildness of the city!” The young editor nodded, believing every lie of the man. “I see!” answered. Then the editor looked hesitant before clearing his throat. “To be honest Sohma-sensei…I’m a huge fan of your books! I’ve read all of them!”

“Hee? Really? What a good surprise!” he said gleefully, it’s exactly what Mitsuru had said when she met him for the first time. Oh, it was birthday before date~

Akito flipped a page of her book before throwing another glance at her man, he was as joyful as a child who got a new toy, she didn’t remember seeing him like that. She could read in his mind how he was going to make that man suffer and she wondered what kind of plan he had in head. Akito will see with delight what kind of torture Shigure had already prepared.

The noise coming for the teapot signaled that the water was boiling and she put her book on the wooden floor. She was sure she probably looked like the perfect wife, preparing tea for her husband’s guest. She pouted and blushed by the idea of them being married. Well, without a doubt it was going to happen in the near future.

She poured tea in cups and then brought it with appetizer on a tray and served the two men. Shigure watched with appreciation and asked her to stay with him. The editor thanked her and then he started to talk about the last book he wrote. Akito was amazed by how quick Shigure worked, but she shouldn’t be surprised, after all he stood most of his time in his office when he wasn’t with her or watching TV.

“This book has been a real success!” he said, clapping his hands “Actually, sensei you have been nominated for _Tanizaki_ prize! The reception will happen in a month!” he was excited as if he was the one nominated. “Oh, really?” Shigure was more casual about the situation, just sipping his tea. He already won a prize when he written one of his first novel. Well, being rewarded for his work was nice, but he preferred that him and Akito would stay off radars.

“Yes! You have to be there sensei! And your wife too!” Akito choked with her tea then she coughed loudly. She should be used to it now, but it was still embarrassing coming from somebody else. Shigure on his part simply tapped his finger against his chin. He didn’t mind that people called her ‘his wife’. It was expected that people think they would be, they share the same family name and an unmarried woman living with a man together wasn’t well-view, especially in a small village like that. They both decided to keep their relationship ambiguous for the people around. Akito whinged many times about how people were always asking her why she wasn’t wearing her ring. People could be real quidnunc.

“Are you alright Madam?” the editor was death worried, face white and the lovebirds were almost sure he was going to do a_ dogeza_. They hoped not, it’s embarrassing. She cleared her throat and nodded without saying a word. The young man looked relieved. “Please, try to not kill my lover, she is my muse~” sing sang Shigure with a silly smile, Akito pinched his thigh under the table and he whined. “So-sorry, I won’t do it anymore.” The editor apologized.

“As for the reception, I don’t know if it’s going to be possible.” Said Shigure slowly and they both looked at him with surprised expression. “Wh-“ started quietly Akito before being interrupted by the screaming voice of the editor “Why Sensei?! It’s an important reception, I can’t let you be absent that day!!”

Akito eyebrows went up. So that editor had some balls at the end. Shigure chuckled, he knew better. The man was young and it was probably the first time he had an author under his direction nominated for a prize and he didn’t want to miss an occasion. “Like a say, I want to lay low for the moment.” He made a subtle sign toward Akito who frowned. “But sensei…” the man voice was full of sadness and regret. He really wanted Shigure to come. Akito understood thatit t was such an opportunity. Also, she didn’t want Shigure to miss important events because of her.

“It’s okay Shigure, let’s go.” This time it was him who was surprised, with his eyebrows high, almost touching the birth of his hair. “You sure?”

“Yeah, it would be a waste to not go” _and nobody know me. _

The editor had cried and thanked Akito to the point she grown annoyed.

* * *

“Mmmm…Yes! Right here…!” she purred breathlessly, the back of her head resting on his shoulder before he pushed her hard on the table. She moaned, the hot skin of her body resting against the cold surface. She didn’t even have the force to balance on her elbows on the table and was instead slumped on it, moaning in pleasure in the crook of her arm. Shigure was thrusting in her restlessly, each of his hands grabbing her waist. He was so forceful -it was how she liked it- that her knees were rubbing in against the carpet, provoking little burn but her mind was so lost in pleasure that she didn’t even notice. Actually, it even unconsciously aroused her even more.

She felt like they had done it on every surface of the house; in the genkan, on the kitchen counter, on his desk in the office, the floor of their room, against the wall, the mirror of the bathroom, on the porch of the garden. Her car was the only survivor. The warmness in her belly was growing and her pants became more frequent and louder, she whimpered her orgasm noisily and Shigure slid his arms under her armpits to pull her back against his chest and to kiss her hard as he was also coming in her.

She smiled drunkenly at the unusual warm fluid spreading in her, feeling too dizzy to notice it. She closed her eyes and tried to caught her breath. Shigure was the first one to react. “Oh, fuck!” he screamed and suddenly removed dick, Akito whined in surprise. “Huh?”

She moved and faced him and it was a that moment reality caught her. She felt something liquid dropping out of her pussy and her face lost all the colors when Shigure removed the condom, a broke condom. “Oh fuck!” she screamed, repeating what he said earlier. “fuck! Fuck! Why you didn’t stop in time?!”

“I didn’t notice!” he defended himself, as panicked as her. He let the condom rest on the floor as he palmed his face. Akito was freaking out, they couldn’t have a baby so soon, they won’t be able to raise it well and the idea of being pregnant scared her, being responsible of a life, being a good mother, all of this, she didn’t know how to. She was scared. “Shigure!” she called, begging him to find a solution. He had still his hand on his face, breathing deeply. “Shigure, I can’t be a mother!” she called again, moving closer to him.

He removed his hand and hushed her, his eyes downed quickly on the sperm pouring out of her pussy and if he wasn’t panicking, he would have probably jumped her a second time because of the daring sight. “It’s okay, I’ll call the clinic and check if they have after pills.” Akito nodded uneasily and he kissed her forehead before standing up and taking the broken condom to throw it in the trash. He put his pants back and walked in their room where his phone was.

Akito stayed alone, naked on the carpet and taking her time to think. Okay, it was alright, it wasn’t the first time it happened to her. Kureno and she had made the same mistake. Well, if she was honest, what happened just now was more an accident. Still, it was stressful. Akito let her hot forehead rest on the table, it was still a humid from her sweat when she has been slumping on it. She groaned, she was exhausted and she was feeling only now the burns on her knees and the hurt of her waist. Feel good for minutes and pain for the next three days. Always like that.

The door’s ringing pulled her out of her mind and Akito like a startled cat jumped before quickly putting her panty and slid in her dress to be presentable as she rushed at the door. “Ah! Sohma-san, hello!!”

“Ah…hello?” Akito blinked, confused by the person in front of her. She has saw this old woman only once when she had been working with her family finance plan. “Can I help you?” she asked, not knowing what kind of procedure she was meant to use in frong of an uninvited guest just after she had been fucked hard on the living room's table. “Haha, oh no! I just came here to give you cabbages and potatoes from the garden, to thank you for helping us! Right?” she asked, looking down to her grandson, or at least Akito thought so. The little boy nodded. By the sight of the child, Akito remembered that Shigure had come deep in her and that she might end pregnant if they didn’t do something soon. She gulped and felt anxious again.

“Also, I heard that you just started to cook! I wanted to give you a grandma old recipe!” the woman giggled, making a gesture of the hand. “Ah…Right now is…” Akito looked back in the house, unsure if she should let them in. “Oh, you are busy?”

“No it’s just…” Akito bit her lips and thought of the bad reputation they could have if she refuse that woman in. She opened the door wider “Please, come in.” The woman and the child thanked her and removed their shoes in the genkan before taking the bags of vegetable in the kitchen. Akito was studying a cabbage when the kid pointed her red knees. “Grandma, why she has red knees? She hurt herself?”

Akito’s error was to go still and blush when she and the woman looked at each other, like a deer in front of car light. At this moment, the woman knew. And Akito knew she knew. It was embarrassing and she wanted to die. Damned, carpet burns. The woman cleared her throat, visibly as embarrassed as Akito.

It was Shigure who save the situation by coming out of the room, perfectly dressed and putting his watch on his wrist. “Oh, hello, I didn’t know we had guest.” He put his handsome smile on his features, the one he uses to get what he wanted, like taking her in doggy style on carpet in the middle of the living room. She was going to kill him. Anyway, the smile worked because the woman had forgotten everything about Akito and she was now looking at Shigure with a hand on her cheek, pinkness of each edge of her face. “Oh, we were just bringing vegetables for Sohma-san to thank her for helping us, I also wanted to show her to how cook it.” She said dreamingly.

“Oh, I see, it’s really nice from you” he tilted his head charmingly before turning it in Akito’s direction and pulling her apart “I succeeded to get an appointment at the clinic, were did you put the car’s key?” Akito frowned “Don’t tell me you’re driving?! You don’t have a license!”

“It’s alright, you already saw me drive” he pouted “Anyway, you won’t leave that poor old grandma and her grandson here, won’t you?” Akito gritted her teeth, she hated when she couldn’t argue back. Chuckling Shigure quickly smacked her lips and framed her face, his childish expression changing into a grave one “I sooner I go, the better, don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” She wrapped her arms around her belly and bowed her head, humming.

She walked Shigure to the door and watched him go with her car. “Something happened? Why is your husband not staying?” asked the woman with disappointment in the voice. Akito ignored the thing about him being her husband “No, he had an appointment he couldn’t miss.”

“Ara, what a shame! He is quite the man, I wish my own husband would have been this handsome when he was younger ohohoh!” Akito held back the urge to roll her eyes and to spit a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ and instead asked to show her the recipe she was talking about so she could leave sooner as possible.

The recipe consisted in a kind of potée-cooking and she hated admitting it, but the taste was marvelous. “It takes a long time to do, but it’s worth it, plus, look, Sohma-san can keep it for days in the fridge.” Said the grandma, a finger in the air. Akito thanked her as she was stocking the food. “...Sohma-san, can I be honest with you?”

Akito was now curious, but if that woman was asking it, maybe she was going to be rude. Well, this day was already spoilt well enough, it couldn't be worse “Go ahead.” The woman chuckled anxiously and twisted her fingers. “You see, when I heard that you were married with a writer, I imagined a man of my age haha. I mean, it’s already unexpected to see young people moving here, but a writer…”

She wanted to laugh because the situation was so hilarious. “And well, I had prejudices on it! So…I am really sorry about it.” The woman bowed her head and now, it was Akito who was embarrassed. Why this woman felt the need to say that to her? She could have kept it all inside. This behavior reminded her of Kagura. At the thought of her family, her embarrassment disappeared for sadness. She succeeded to hide it since the woman said nothing about it.

“But now, tell me, how you two did meet~?” It had the effect of making her grief melt away for irritation. Why people where so nosy?

At the end, the woman and her grandson left after a complete hour of her trying to get information from Akito until she was satisfied. Old gossip women were to be scared. Shigure came back half of an hour after with the urgency pill and boxes under the arms.

“I’ve got the food.” He said, showing two pizzas and a bucket of fried chicken. Lately, Akito found herself loving occidental dishes, especially pizza, pasta and cheese spread on it. The pizzas were lukewarm and Shigure decided to reheat them in the oven while Akito was pouring water to drink with the pill, reading the notice. She already knew how it worked, she had to take the first as soon as possible and then, take the second twelve hours after the first. She gulped it in one go.

Shigure came behind her and rested his palm on her waist. “Okay?” She hummed, nodding. She had been really scared at the moment, but with that woman coming here, it had eased her mind. She felt grateful now, like she did with Kureno.

They had eaten the pizza in a subdued atmosphere, watching the TV, her back resting lazily against his chest and him letting his fingers tip run mindlessly on the skin of her arm. “We shouldn’t do it on the floor with this position anymore.” Shigure turned his head in her direction, confused, his brain taking the information in slowly before understanding what she was talking about. “Hm, why not? Don’t you like dogs?” he sneered and she bumped her elbow gently in his stomach and moved toward the table to get another slide of pizza.

“No, I’ve got carpet burn and it gotten noticed.” She said before biting in the food, Shigure laughed louder. “Granny found out what kind of naughty girl you are?” Akito groaned and put down the slice on the table to nudge him in the ribs with her injured knee. He caught her by the heel before she could touch and then spread her legs so he could fit between. He took a leg in hand and studied the red skin before kissing it gently.

“I’m sorry, does it hurt?” his voice was so quiet, like wind in summer night, warm and pleasant. “A bit, but it’s okay…” she said shily. Shigure smiled elegantly and let his lips caress her thigh, letting kisses all along her skin. Her steady breath became pants when he moved up her dress so he could have access to her belly. She let her back fall on the floor and his hands wander on her buttock. She purred in delight and put her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to her body. He made a mark on her breast, just next to the one he made a few hours before.

He moved his lips up to hers and they kissed hard, caressing his lower lip with her teeth before he slid his tongue in her mouth, she could taste the tomato sauce from the pizza he had eaten. They moaned together, his hardness rubbing against her panty which was getting wetter and wetter. She bucked her hips in rhythm and wrapped her arms around his back. “Again at it? You’re hopeless…” she tried to say with confidence when he was kissing her hot cheek.

“I’m a man in love, how could I resist when you show me your adorable knees?” he giggled and moved his head between her legs. She hissed when his thumb started to rub the wetness of her underwear, his teeth teasing the soft skin of the inside of her thigh. “Pervert”

“We are two.” He sneered and removed the bothersome underwear. She closed her eyes and hid her face of the crook of her arm, enjoying Shigure’s talented tongue playing with her cunt. He had already two fingers in, playing with the wall of hers inside. “Mmm…deeper.” He executed, bending his fingers, eager to satisfy his lady and teased her clit with the tip of his tongue, for her greatest pleasure. It wasn’t long for her before reaching her climax, the back arching and her tip-toes curling.

He had kissed her belly “Hey, Aki” he called, rubbing in circle on her waist. “You know I was thinking…Since you took the pill…Maybe we could do it raw?” She opened her eyes and closed her legs immediately. “Shigure.” She warned.

“I mean, it’s safe right? It’s a good occasion! It’s time to get our sex life spicy.” As ever, Akito frowned “Because you think it’s not spicy enough, I don’t know a surface of this house we haven’t fucked on!” Shigure pouted “your car…”

“Leave her out of this!” Shigure made a puppy expression, massaging experiencedly her hips. “Akito-san” he whispered charmingly in her ear, kissing her neck just so. She whined fisting his hair “Nn…You sure it’s safe?” she asked, pulling the two of them down on the floor. He smiled warmly and kissed her “Yeah, it’s safe.”

Slowly, with hesitation, Akito opened her legs, allowing Shigure between. He kissed her again, as a thank before it changed into something more passionate. She was the one to open his pants and to take his hot dick in hand. He was already dripping out and after pumping up and down, she leaded it toward her entrance, the heart on her lips. It was the second time she was doing it raw with him and she was too aroused about it. Just feeling the tip entering in felt different without the plastic of the condom around.

He was so slow to enter, that made her frustrated, she wanted it all to fill her up. “Shigure” she whimpered, begging to move faster but the man was staying still, the eyes closed and his eyebrows down. It was also different for him and he was trying to concentrate to not come too quickly. He collapsed on her once he was deep in, panting in her neck and kissing it. He squeezed her breast and she sobbed in joy, getting tighter around him. Ah, it felt so, so good.

They both knew each other bodies by heart now and they both know the different erogenous zone. For Akito, all she got to do was caressing softly Shigure spine to make him shiver while she was spamming from the touch of his hot hands on that spot under her knees. Like adventurers, they were searching for more place to please the other, to conquer.

She caged his body with her legs and her arms, their bodies stuck together. They were vigorously moving on the floor, both of them moaning messily. He pulled her on his laps and fucked her in this position, hands on her hips moving up and down, her small breasts bouncing while she was screaming _‘feel good’ ‘deeper’ ‘mmm! More, more, please -Gure!’_

He slapped her ass and she hiccupped in surprise, tightening in spite of her. “What’s that Akito-san, you really like it rough” he had a breathless laugh and squeezed the red butt hard before slapping it a second time. She sobbed harder and she bit his shoulder for revenge, that bastard got bigger in her.

He shoved her against on the floor and grabbed her by the waist and after four long thrusts, his body spammed and he put his dick as deep as possible, splurting and filling her with his cum. Just this was enough for her to reach her climax, feeling him fully without condom between them and that hotness in her limbs, ah she felt like she could become addicted. She looked with a dreamy smile his o-face, reaching her hands up to frame his face covered in sweat. He opened sluggishly his eyelids and took one of her wrists to kiss the palm, then, each one of her fingers. She felt she was loved, she felt she was in love. 

He collapsed on her and she lovingly kissed his cheek, his nose, his lips before she pulled his head in a warm embrace. Fuck it all, she loved him.

* * *

Shigure was shining, not because of the proudness to be one of the nominees, it was something he was already used to, but because the woman beside him was absolutely gorgeous. She surprised him by wearing a deep red cocktail dress and stilettoes. He wanted everybody to notice the pearl he had brought with him, but also, he wanted to keep her for himself only. Damned duality.

Akito wasn’t leaving him and was trying to walk as little as possible. Each step she was making reminded him of a baby deer having its first steps, her legs shivering oddly. Her hair was long enough for her to wrap it in a little bun, she put a red flower in. One of the neighbors also came earlier in the house to put a bit of mascara on her eyes and red on her lips. She was lovely.

However, and he couldn’t understand how it was possible, but he was the main attraction. Not that he disliked it, he was an attention whore. People were gathering around him and they ignored her. Poor fools, not seeing what’s precious. Well, too bad for them, Shigure was going to keep his treasure for himself. “It was a real surprise to see you here Sohma-sensei! Since you said that _Ama no Iwato mousou_ was your last piece, I became desperate haha!”

“Right! It was quite the shock when I saw you here Sohma-sensei, why using another penname?” Shigure smiled like a professional, Akito disliked this smile. It was handsome but so fake for her who know how warm was his natural smile. “Well, I think I wanted challenge myself and try a new life I guess.” His voice was calm, measured.

“Sensei you are quite a confident one!” joked another man, sipping a glass of champagne. “I had to admit it’s a real honor to meet you, I’ve read all your books.” Akito rolled her eyes aside, ‘liar’ she thought. Judging by how the man was talking about books like brand, she was sure he had never had a light novel in hand, even less Noa Kiritani AKA Shigure’s one. Was it the reason why he didn’t want to go? Everything was so boring, so fake. It reminded her the one and only gathering she had in her life, with the Sohma family.

She lifted herself up to his ear level “I’m going to get something to eat” it was only at this moment that the people around them noticed Akito and eyed her with a hard look. How dare she to take Sohma-sensei attention’s away when they were talking with him? Women should watch themselves.

Sighing, she escaped, trying to walk straight with her high heels, it was hard. She should had practiced before…But wait, why should she practice to wear shoes, it was absurd!

She drowned her irritation with petit-fours. She looked her watch and mentally insulted somebody's mother. They haven’t given the price yet, it was too long and she hated being transparent. It reminded her old life back in the mansion, a spiritless god, a chief of façade. Nobody could see her. She wanted to go back in their hotel room they had reserved for the night and go sleep. Tomorrow she will have to drive them back at home. She still wasn’t used to long distance and there were hours apart between Osaka and Inuyama, she didn’t trust herself yet to drive in the night.

“You came with Sohma-sensei right?” called a gentle voice beside her. She saw a beautiful woman wearing a very glamour dress, her hair arranged pretty with earring highlighting her gorgeous face. Akito tried to keep inside her the fire of exasperation, but annoyance was showing on her face. She sipped her champagne. “Maybe so.”

“Haha, sorry, sorry, it was rude of me. I understand your position, don’t worry!” she softly chuckled, it was refined, it annoyed Akito even more. A real woman goals. “We are nothing more than pot plants here, right?” Akito frown softened and she noticed the little light in the woman eyes. It showed experience. “At best, they will saw us as trophy women.” She giggled, putting her hand on her mouth. She really looked like a woman from a good family. She and Akito were different and it painfully reminded her that even if she had the highest social status, she couldn’t act that way, because she never received the education for. Nobody taught her how to be a _'woman'_. She clicked her tongue, why was she comparing herself anyway?

“It’s okay, just don’t mind them and let’s eat all the food before they notice” offered the woman with a little wink, it made Akito smile a bit. They cheered with their glasses of champagne. “Still, Sohma-sensei is more handsome in real life.”

Akito’s smile dropped. Yes, of course. “It’s funny, I know him through Noa Kiritani’s novel, she said she was a fan of his books, so I got curious.” Akito mouth went agape “Noa Kiritani said that?”

“Oh! You read her books too?!” Akito turned her head in Shigure direction and threw at his back thunders with her eyes. This guy had no shame. “Yes, it’s…entertaining.” She answered mindlessly, forcing herself to bring back her attention on the woman. “Right, people here don’t read light novel, they consider it as subculture of literature.”

“I see…” She said by politeness because she didn’t care to be honest. “Anyway…Ama no Iwato Mousou was breath taking, this story about that poor girl, until the end I thought she was going to stay for her father, I’m glad she ran away with Mamoru-kun, she deserved to be happy.” Akito made her usual frown. Truth to be told, she didn’t read that book yet, she wasn’t even aware that Shigure had written this book before tonight. He pissed her off, why he didn't tell her? Why was he so secretive about it?

“During all the book, I was wondering what was the exact genre you see. At first I thought it was drama, since the poor Hikari wanted to stay for her father, in spite of everything he done to her, she loved him, that Tarou guy.” She stared at her champagne “I loved how sensei compared it with a curse…” Akito went still. _A curse? Tarou? Was this book…_

They continued to talk until Shigure came to fetch her for the awarding of the prize. At the end, Shigure didn’t win it.

“To be honest, it relieves me. I didn’t want my photo to be plastered on every paper.” He laughed, untying his tie and slumping on the bed of their hotel room. She looked at him with a curious expression. “You didn’t?”

“Nah, I didn’t write it as a prize book, and I’ve already had enough on my resumé” he smirked proudly even through his eyes were closed, it made her laugh. She sat on her leg next to him. “Did _Ama no Iwato Mousou_ received a price?” At this, he opened one eye and then turned his head in her direction, before looking away in uneasiness. “Yeah, but I wasn’t here to fetch it.” Actually, he had learnt the news through the newspaper, it was a sour to know it that way but he had thrown away his phone and his made a new mail.

“This story…Is it about us?”

“I don’t know, it is?” he talked back with a sneer and she frowned. He shrugged. “Did you read it?”

“No, no yet.” She clicked her tongue “Well, I wasn’t even aware that you had wrote it.” Shigure closed his eyes again, ignoring the reproach. “Shigure did you hear me?” he hummed and Akito took a breath, trying to stay calm. It wasn’t the first time they had an argument. “Such a hypocrite.”

His opened his eyes widely and he was scoffing “What?” he laughed “For real?” he was making fun of her and it felt. She squeezed her fists. “You were the one who was making your fake Madonna when I didn’t tell you I’ve got my car's license, but I guess it’s alright if Sohma-sensei can keep for himself he had published a book!”

“That’s not the same Akito!” he gasped before downing his voice. “What do you mean it’s not the same? You’re a fucking writer! Why you just didn’t tell me?!” He looked away, decided to not answer. “Alright! Fine!” She screamed, removing her dress and throwing it on him before walking in the bathroom. All she needed at the moment was a shower and time for herself to clear her mind. If she had stayed in the same room as him, she was sure she would had strangled him.

She got out one hour later, a towel around her body. She threw a glance at Shigure. He was sleeping on his side of the bed, showing his back. She sighed and removed her towel before sliding in the bed. She faced the wall.

“This book…is farewell letter.” He said, not moving his body, his voice echoing in the room. Akito turned her head in his direction. “For you to read, it’s embarrassing.” Akito stood quiet before rolling slowly and snuggling beside him. He sluggishly turned in the bed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. “I guess, I wanted to tell our story through this book. All the way we made until we got to this point.”

She kissed his bare chest. “I never thought you were the shy type.” She whispered in a mocking tone and Shigure pinched her arm gently “Shut it” he chuckled quietly.

* * *

He was tapping vividly on his keyboard, ideas filling his mind, he was in trance. However, even if he was ahead on his planning, he will still trick his editor, make him cry. His screams weren’t as good as Mitsuru’s. Her cries were high qualities and so innocent in comparison to that young man greedy for recognition. He just needed to continue to train him to have the best sound.

Honestly, he thought that Akito would be against him practicing that kind of behavior, but to his surprise, she had been watching them from far with a wide smile on her lips. Damn, he loved her.

Maybe it was because of how he was living an idyll, but he was in mood to write something romantic. Of course, not something too gummy. No, he stood in the subtility. It was the simple story of a man falling in love. However, he hid the main romantic plot under a nonsense typical adventure. He wanted to try writing about absurdism, it was something which was in vogue during the last century in Europe. Bringing and mixing it with Japanese culture was a challenge that he liked. Nonsense, he knew about it, he was cursed after all.

He had just finished a paragraph about the main character vomiting butterfly after being electrified by love at first sight when he felt two arms enveloping him tightly. He removed his glasses and turned his head at Akito who was hiding her face between his two-shoulder blades.

Right, it was unusual. She was never going in his office uninvited, mainly because the place was a mess and because she respected his private space even though he didn’t mind her going in. But, it wasn’t the question, what was she doing here? Was she missing him? He smirked, ready to tease her when he heard a sob. “Akito?”

“Hiro’s gone…” she didn’t need to say more. He abandoned everything and pulled her on his laps and cradled her. “Shigure, it’s already the third!!” she whimpered in the crook of his neck. The third? He pulled her off to look in her eyes. “What do you mean the third? Momiji, Hiro…” he had suspicion about Kureno, but, for real? What it the reason why it felt odd next to him? Akito confirmed it. “His curse broke when I was still young” she sniffed.

He knew it. “It was the reason why he was living with you?” Akito nodded and sobbed, putting her head back in his neck. He kissed the top of her head. “Here…I’m here.” She moved her head, his words comforting her. She dried her tears quickly after this. It was different from the last time. Less strong.

“It’s weakening…” she said softly. “You noticed it too” he laid his chin on her head. “Akito, I’m sure you already know.” Her eyes widened in horror and she grabbed his kimono like a beggar_, please don’t say it._ “This is the last banquet.”

Akito sniffed, feeling the god in her abundant sadness. She started to bite her nails anxiously, Shigure pulled her wrist away. “Akito, didn’t you know? Before this generation, there were always one animal of the zodiac missing, always.” He studied the shape of her hands, her nails like little shells on the tip of each one of her fingers.

“It’s scary…what I am going to do when it will be all broken?” Her voice was hollow. She lived with god all her life, with his loneliness and his story about his twelve friends and the traitor. About endless banquet that Akito never knew. “Once it’s over, we’re going to be free, there will be no bonds holding us back.”

“So please, don’t be scared.”

* * *

“Yes, but with the festival coming soon, we had to watch out the expense” The mayor nodded, his hand under his chin. “That’s true the festival…aaah! Listen, I think we should stop for today, all we get are problems and no solutions. Let’s take a night rest and talk about it for the next reunion.” They all bowed before gathering their things. Akito was glad to go home even if she knew there were going to have more incessant reunion in the near future. The mayor just won’t hear her plan business for the village, he better to not get all surprised when the money will run low.

She massaged her temples, feeling a headache coming. She is totally going to make herself a tea and watch TV once she’ll be back home. In hope that Shigure hasn’t ate all the sweets a friend gave her. She walked out of the little town hall. The pure air of the country eased her dizzying head. She closed her eyes, enjoying it. The silence, the smells, having time just for her before going home.

“Sohma-san!!”

Of course, it couldn’t last.

She deeply breathed in and looked at the woman who just called her. It was her neighbor; she was running at her. Akito wondered what was the urgency. “Oh! Sohma-san! Is that true?!” she repeated, out of breath when she succeeded to catch Akito. “What?”

“Is that true that you and Sohma-sensei eloped and that you two are both from a high family?!” she squealed, red on her cheeks. Akito was confused, taking the time of processing before completely paling. How? How did she know? Had Ren found them? Was she going to imprison her again, far away of Shigure, no, no, _no!_

“I was visiting my family and I saw your name on the newspaper!!” The woman took Akito’s hands in hers. “Oh my god! It’s true!! Akito-san that’s soooo romantic!! You left your place as chief of family for love!! Kyah!” She turned around, like a high schooler. “Why you never told us! Sohma-san is so mysterious!”

Akito frowned. Romantic? Leaving her own family, abandoning the cursed who needed her, getting away from that hellish place, and they called it _‘romantic’_. Akito fisted her hand, her nails were digging in her skin. She had to bite her lips to not scream. “Ah! Sohma-san, you need to tell me all the details of your love story!”

The details? She wanted details? She wanted to know how Ren had beaten her for years before trying to force her in an arranged marriage with a man ready to rape her at first meeting? She wanted to know about the curse that forced her, Shigure and the rest of the zodiacs to live on the margins of the society. No, they knew nothing, they just saw a couple of love birds running away together to live their love. They didn’t saw the sacrifice they made. Akito wasn’t blind, she saw how Shigure was missing his friends and family, she saw how much he sacrificed for her.

All they had left with the zodiacs was the bond, as long as the bond was still here then…

Akito gasped painfully, something was happening, and it hurt, bad. “Sohma-san?” Akito excused herself and left, she had to go home, right now, before…before…

_One, two, three,_ the threads were disappearing. _Four, five, six,_ how many were left? Why were they all leaving at once. Not able to handle it anymore, she crouched in the middle of the path. She couldn’t feel them anymore, Hatori, Kagura, Kyo, Ayame…Shigure, and finally Yuki. They were all gone.

Even the god in her left after telling her an old tale forgotten by the age and the time. About a lonely god that lived far away of the humankind and a friendly cat who came to him, about an endless banquet and eternal promise. She couldn’t hold back big tears, it was heartbreaking. It was only when the god had left her that she noticed that she was truly alone for the first time of her life. Even when she was crying and hiding, the god was here, comforting the little girl and apologizing for making her and his old friends' life a hell. ‘Cat was right…’

She enveloped her arms around her belly, where she used to feel the bonds, trying, begging desperately to have it back. Why farewell hurt so much.

“Akito, let’s go home.” She lifted her head, recognizing Shigure’s shape behind the tears. “Shigure!! It’s over, I can’t…” She chocked between the sobs and he nodded sadly. He lived with the dog all his life, the dog was the one to know his deepest secret, the one who showed him the woman he learnt to love. Akito have been through it fourth time, poor thing, it must have been so much pain.

He took her and carried her like a bride. Even if he had sad eyes, he was still looking at her with love. This will never change. Good thing they lived in the country; nobody was here to see them being completely wrecked. “Shigure, we…” _the bond, the zodiacs, the curse. _

“I know Akito, I know.” He stuck his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. Something was warm and wet behind his eyelids. It was okay, they will go through it. They still loved each other as before, the disappearance of the curse changed nothing. With the end of the end, they could let go the past behind and walk hand in the hand toward the future together.

It was over, but it was also the beginning.

* * *

The kids were playing tag. Since the girls were older, they could escape more easily from their cadets. Giggling and jumping around. He had never thought he would find peace in that kind of setting. Hearing his son bawling, he stood up and walked to see what provoked the cries. “What’s wrong?”

Mine who started to nurse her son risen up her head in her husband direction. “Oh, nothing, Chizu-chan was just hungry.” She assured, rocking the little buddle of joy. Ayame laughed proudly and loudly “That’s good my dear son! You shall drink the sustaining milk that your mother provides you in order to become a strong man!” Mine chuckled cheerfully.

“Dad!” Hibika rushed and crashed against her father leg. She shook her head and jumped on her feet “Dad! Do the rocket! The rocket!!” Listening her princess word, the knight executed and pulled her on his shoulder before making her gracefully turn around in the room. Mutsuki and Hajime looked in awe whereas Kinu snuggled closed in his dad arms. The twins were playing with their parents, pulling on Rin long hair. She patiently pulled Sora’s little hands away.

Mutsuki tried to walk toward his dad, his eyes sparkling like her cousin. It was Machi who took him, sliding her hands under his armpits and she sat him on her shoulders, Mutsuki giggled, moving his little legs in excitement. Yuki smiled warmly at the scene.

Kagura and Tohru entered in the room with two cakes covered of two candles on each. Haru gasped to get his children attention “Look! What’s that!” The two toddlers looked but it was Hibika who answered in a scream, wriggling to get off her father hold “Cakes! It’s birthday cakes!!”

“You know who’s birthday is today?” Asked Momiji to the twins who looked with confused expression. Haru held Sora and Rin, Riku. All the family gathered around the table. Kyo let Hajime climb on his legs while Kisa was taking photo, Hiro stood just beside her. Ritsu was looking with a big smile, making sure to not do any mistake and Hatori watched the little crowd with Mayuko at his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

Tohru and Kagura clapped their hands in rhythm and started to sing ‘happy birthday’ and the children quickly rejoined, because it was something they did at every birthday party. Rin and Haru both blown the candles when the song stopped and they all clapped. “Happy two years!” Sora laughed loudly and Riku looked, dumbfounded.

Rin smiled and kissed both of her babies’ head. “Damn, they grow so fast.” Said Haru, Kyo roared “Oi! Don’t use that kind of words in front of children!” he put his hands on Hajime’s ears. Haru ‘aaah’ mouthed before apologizing. Tohru smiled and cut in slice the chocolate cake, and Kureno helped her to serve, Arisa seconding him.

“Still, it’s so nice that we all are still together celebrating that kind of thing.” Uttered Momiji, playing with his dessert. The old cursed all agreed internally. The day the bonds of the ancient and original promise broke, they were scared that they all go on their own path, but at the end, they all stood together…Well, almost all. “I wonder if Akito and Gure-nii have their own family too…” said Kisa, more to herself.

“Ah! Don’t worry about it Kisa-chan, last time I’ve saw them, Akito was five months pregnant!” Said Ritsu in a comforting, encouraging smile. All the adults stopped talking to look at the man and it was like the time stopped. Ritsu smiled a moment before screaming and panicking, trying to rush out of the room but Kagura jumped on him with all the vigor that was left in her body, the eyes brightly red. “Where do you think you’re going? You have something to hide us?!”

“I’m sorry!!!!!” Ritsu shouted, still trying to escape, scrawling on the floor. “Ritsu, you better tell us” said gently Yuki before taking a knife in the hand, caressing the iron surface. “We have all the measures to makes you talk, Ritsu” he threatened with a dark smile, Machi paled. It wasn’t the first time he saw him with this expression but it was still shocking.

“Hiiii! Please noo! I promised!”

“It’s too late Ritsu! Tell us what you know!” Kyo screamed and a hard look.

Machi was playing with the children outside with Arisa, feeling that the discussion was going to be important and the kids would just be in the way. She threw a small glance at her husband who was talking vividly with Ritsu. The man was still trying to not speak, explaining that he had promised to a certain ‘Shigure’. Machi did not know, it was something about the Sohma she couldn’t understand, something Yuki did not told her. “Do you understand something Chi-chan?” Machi shook her head, and brought her attention back on her own son playing with Tohru’s.

“Goddamnit Ritsu you can’t keep it for yourself! It’s about Akito and Shigure we are talking about! When did you saw them the last time?!” roared Kyo, slapping the table angrily. Ritsu started to cry in panic “But…But I promised…I don’t want to deceive them…”

Hatori put his hand on Ritsu while Kureno and Tohru looked at him with a sad frown. “Ritsu, they are our family too, we deserve to have news about them as well…” explained the doctor. “Yes Ritsu…At least to know if they are happy…” added Kureno with a gentle voice. The man looked down, his lips in a tight line. Tohru saw how uneasy Ritsu was and almost said to him that it was alright, after all he made a promise but Ritsu talked before she had the chance to.

“It was about seven months ago…I, they came at the onsen. At first I was shocked because Akito-san…Akito-san does really look like Ren-san. I mean, it makes sense, she is her daughter…”

“Tell me Ritsu, you’re aware that Ren and Akito had the worst relation? I hope you didn’t tell her that?” noticed Hiro. Ritsu looked at him with wide eyes, staying silent before standing up again and screaming how sorry he was. Hatori had to calm him again for five complete minutes. “Please Ritsu-san-chan, tell us how are Shigure-san and Akito-san” pleaded Tohru.

“Well…They came here for a holiday they. Shigure-nii told me that Akito had never been in a onsen before and that it was a good occasion to do it before she, uh…She would give birth…” Ritsu was smiling warmly at the memory. Akito and Shigure had looked very in love. Tohru brought her hands together against her heart, tears of joy gathering in the corner of her eyes. “Tohru, are you crying?” Kyo was amazed by his wife. “Yes because…It’s such good news and, they deserve it so much!” for Kyo or Ritsu, it was a great news but nothing to cry for. But Tohru remembered Akito and Shigure hardship when Ren separated them. It was such a happy ending.

“I don’t know why you all care” spat Rin who was staying behind, her arms crossed. “Akito and Shigure made their choice and left us, we don’t need to bother about those two anymore!” Tohru looked with sad eyes “Rin-san…” Yuki looked down “I can understand, it’s easy to feel betrayed by their choice…They could have asked our help and find another solution…” Hatori and Ayame looked at the young father. He was right, but it wasn’t without forgetting Shigure’s character. They had lost their best friend.

“Hey…Did you read Shi-chan’s book _Ama no iwato mousou_?” At his cousin confused expression, Momiji smiled, bringing his legs to his chest. “Me too at first I was sad that they didn’t tell us but, when I read the book, I understood and…I’m glad they ran away…I’m sure it wasn’t easy for them neither, but they had to.”

Mine agreed with Momiji, she didn’t read that book but she saw the marks on the girl body. Akito couldn’t stay here. She was glad that she escaped and she remade her life. She wished her the best for the baby, she wished she could see her again though, they could have been great friend.

But the bitter and sour feeling wouldn’t just disappear, they had lost not one, but two members of the family. They had decided to leave them, they made their choice, and they felt betrayed. No, Kureno disagreed, he shook his head. “Ritsu, can I just ask you one question?”

“Su-sure…”

“Are they happy?”

Ritsu stared before smiling warmly, like the first spring sun, a smile very alike from the one he saw on Shigure and Akito’s lips when he saw them. “Yes, very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, this is the end. I'm...drained haha. Writing of cave and illusion have been a real adventure i hope you all liked it! I'm glad I sucess to write it until the end ♥  
I'm thinking about writing two one-shot spin off with this story. One about Ritsu seeing Shigure and Akito at the onsen and another set during the epilogue, before the curse break haha. (I didn't write it here because it would have been too long lmao).  
For now, I'll continue to write about Akigure, because those two are my muses, of course i'll write about Shiki too because he is just adorable ;w;  
I...I thought I would have say more but, nah. I'm just very drained haha.  
Also, request are open again on my tumblr, also, you can ask on my twitter too <3


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